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[ZackieChan]

EXACTLY! This is what I'm getting at. This kind of behavior is just disrespectful.

Agreed. But we are a shrinking minority, apparently.

Again, I actually put up with this kind of behavior in a past relationship for a while. Then I wised up and put a stop to it. Unacceptable. I am pretty self-sufficient - I expect the same from my SO.

The OP implies that he has concerns not just with carrying someone else's shit, but the fact that the item stands out. So sure, he doesn't seem primarily upset over it being a feminine item, but there are plenty of posts in here that do.

I also think you are missing the point of "giving us sex." It isn't an exchange of services, but it is a pretty damn good indicator that further compensation to preserve appearances is pretty much unnecessary at this point. I think the claims in here about women who turn men into pack mules are unrealistic and borderline sensationalist. Sounds like some shit out of the Boondocks.



No no it makes far more sense for a woman to have an agenda like something out of a 90's high school flick.

I don't recall reading any of those posts, except the ones that are arguing against the non-existent people being angry with it being a feminine item. OP's post, I guess, could be construed either way. It's not explicit.

To your second point, you really think that there aren't women who act like that? There certainly are.

 

[Two Words]

so buy men's pants? cmon man, now you're just being disingenuous

Not all women's pants are skin tight. You're never going to find usable pockets on jeans meant to be skin tight. There's nothing disingenuous about the option of buying pants that have usable pockets. You're just gonna have to be willing to ditch tight clothing. If somebody doesn't want to, more power to them. But it's a choice. If I don't want to use a purse as s guy because I feel like "Guys don't use purses", that too is a choice on my part.

 

[Adam Scott Aukerman]

My point was that the posters in here commenting that they wouldn't hold their SO purse in certain situations are not doing so because they're insecure.

All of them? Not at all? Even the OP, who found it important to point out that the bag is bright orange and "really stands out"?

Come on, now.

 

[Sai-kun]

Not all women's pants are skin tight. You're never going to find usable pockets on jeans meant to be skin tight. There's nothing disingenuous about the option of buying pants that have usable pockets. You're just gonna have to be willing to ditch tight clothing. If somebody doesn't want to, more power to them. But it's a choice. If I don't want to use a purse as s guy because I feel like "Guys don't use purses", that too is a choice on my part.

Honestly man, I've been shopping with my girlfriend a LOT and even pants that aren't skin tight don't always offer pockets more than an inch or two deep. Totally anecdotal so obviously doesn't mean much, but I swear, watching my girl shop for clothes and seeing the lack of pockets is kinda mind blowing to me. It's not just 'tight clothing' that doesn't have pockets. Even just regular jeans don't offer good sized pockets, and a lot of stores don't seem to offer anything less than well-fitting jeans.

 

[Froli]

What I find alarming is, some of you reacted as if op committed a crime to humanity lol

 

[Two Words]

Honestly man, I've been shopping with my girlfriend a LOT and even pants that aren't skin tight don't always offer pockets more than an inch or two deep. Totally anecdotal so obviously doesn't mean much, but I swear, watching my girl shop for clothes and seeing the lack of pockets is kinda mind blowing to me. It's not just 'tight clothing' that doesn't have pockets. Even just regular jeans don't offer good sized pockets, and a lot of stores don't seem to offer anything less than well-fitting jeans.

How many jeans are you seeing your girlfriend try on that are as loose fitting as men's relaxed fit jeans?

 

[Sai-kun]

How many jeans are you seeing your girlfriend try on that are as loose fitting as men's relaxed fit jeans?

In all of the stores we've gone too, like almost 0% of them are in the same style/fit as the jeans that I would buy, because they just aren't OFFERED that to begin with. All of the jeans I see at F21, H&M, Macy's, Top Shop, and others are always at least decently-fitted jeans with no pockets.

Swear to god, man. It's crazy. Women just are not offered the same comfort and convenience that men are.

 

[Horse Detective]

I don't recall reading any of those posts, except the ones that are arguing against the non-existent people being angry with it being a feminine item. OP's post, I guess, could be construed either way. It's not explicit.

To your second point, you really think that there aren't women who act like that? There certainly are.

Well when I make a post complaining about the mere fact that someone else is expecting me to carrying something for an extended amount of time, I like to make sure that I include it is my female SO, and the item is a big orange bag. But no, don't make implications from that. They are just meaningless additions.

I wouldn't mind holding the purse, but never by the strap. Hold it like you would hold a bunch of rolled up newspapers.

I guess you don't think this implies anything either.

Of course, the cardinal rule is: never hold the purse by the straps. It like makes you a chick or something.

or this.

And yeah, sure. Comedically evil women exist. It is just ironic to see so many people that claim to have not been flagged with warning signs that they are dating a sociopath.

 

[atr0cious]

In all of the stores we've gone too, like almost 0% of them are in the same style/fit as the jeans that I would buy, because they just aren't OFFERED that to begin with. All of the jeans I see at F21, H&M, Macy's, Top Shop, and others are always at least decently-fitted jeans with no pockets.

Swear to god, man. It's crazy. Women just are not offered the same comfort and convience that men are.

This is what you get for not finding woman who loves good pair of jncos.

 

[Sai-kun]

This is what you get for not finding woman who loves good pair of jncos.

My girl is into the rave scene, but not this much, thankfully, lmao.

 

[Two Words]

In all of the stores we've gone too, like almost 0% of them are in the same style/fit as the jeans that I would buy, because they just aren't OFFERED that to begin with. All of the jeans I see at F21, H&M, Macy's, Top Shop, and others are always at least decently-fitted jeans with no pockets.

Swear to god, man. It's crazy. Women just are not offered the same comfort and convenience that men are.

Well yes, designer clothing stores in malls are not going to sell that kind of stuff.

 

[Goodlife]

I usually take my wife's bag out with me, ever if she's not around.

Car keys / purse are in there, so just easier to grab the bag.

On the subject of purses, I don't use my own bankcard (99% of my money get transferred to my wife on payday) so just use hers, so again, just take her purse out whenever I need to do shopping or anything.

 

[Sai-kun]

Forever 21 is not designer, lmao.

edit: lmao i can't. what a ridiculous conversation. go shopping for women's pants dude, seriously. like, just go look through a store at the pants that women can buy, and let us know what you find. i'm sure you will find A pair of pants that has pockets, but that will by and large be the extreme minority of offerings.

edit 2: my point stands, even with the post below me. that shit just isn't made on a large scale for women in the way that it is for men. it's a fact.

 

[Two Words]

I don't want to get into semantics. I mean "Clothing store that tries to sell trendy fashionable clothing".

 

[atr0cious]

Forever 21 is not designer, lmao.

edit: lmao i can't. what a ridiculous conversation.

Well, to make sure I never carried her bag, I made sure my girlfriend was only buying old potato sacks from trader joes. Sew a couple together with ducktape reinforcement, best pair of pants you could ever have.

EDIT: This is the bag my girlfriend's rocking:

So your complaints about looks fall on deaf ears.

 

[Obrek]

And yeah, sure. Comedically evil women exist. It is just ironic to see so many people that claim to have not been flagged with warning signs that they are dating a sociopath.

They aren't comedically evil, they just don't have any respect for the men they are with. That's the situation I have seen and been in, personally.

 

[Enco]

I'll hold it for her for a bit, but I'm not going to cart it around everywhere for her.

Yea this.

It's not because it's embarrassing. It's just that there's no point. Don't bring something so bothersome if you don't want to carry it.

 

[m3k]

I'm with you OP ... You did nothing wrong

I refuse to walk around holding one for longer than necessary

Edit: I'm not a fighty person but where I grew up, you can easily be targets for a shit time walking around carrying a purse

 

[Aquavelvaman]

One time I was out with my girl at the mall and she got tired of pushing her wheelbarrow after it got stuck on an escalator. She asked if I would hold it for a minute while she went to the bathroom, and I was like whatever. She has this model so it did draw some attention:

Anyway, when she came back she was like 'let's go' and walked off like she was expecting me to keep pushing her barrow for her? I was like 'ummm do you mind?' and she acted kind of upset but she took it back and pushed it until we got home.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Maybe this is what Meat Loaf was singing about.

But it surprises me how many people in here need a 'good reason' to do something nice for their other half.

 

[Captcha]

One time I was out with my girl at the mall and she got tired of pushing her wheelbarrow after it got stuck on an escalator. She asked if I would hold it for a minute while she went to the bathroom, and I was like whatever. She has this model so it did draw some attention:


Anyway, when she came back she was like 'let's go' and walked off like she was expecting me to keep pushing her barrow for her? I was like 'ummm do you mind?' and she acted kind of upset but she took it back and pushed it until we got home.

lyk dis if u cri evrytim

Also, lmao @using beta in earnest. The irony.

 

[Sai-kun]

Maybe this is what Meat Loaf was singing about.

But it surprises me how many people in here need a 'good reason' to do something nice for their other half.

this is seriously the funniest part. like, she's my partner, not some fucking random i met off the street. if i can do something nice for her and make her life just a little easier, something that makes her feel good, that makes me feel good. her bag never weighs more than five (5) pounds either, not like it's a chore to carry around.

 

[Fafnir]

I'm with the No Hold team. I'll hold it while she goes to the bathroom, tries on clothes/accessories, but as soon as that's over and we are walking the bag get's passed back. She brought the bag to accentuate her outfit not mine.

 

[Marty Chinn]

I just explained to you how it is overthinking. What if she wants to pay with her JCrew card, instead of her chase? What if she wants to go to an ATM, because a certain place requires cash? What if we decide to get drinks, and she needs her license? And this is not even covering the keys and phone. This is not a five second decision. And it's terribly inconvenient if we would have to go back to the car to get these things. All of it is solved by having it with you. I can't believe I have to explain this.

Wow I didn't realize this was such a complicated thing to do. I should go compliment my wife tonight on all the effort she does to do this since I never realized the complexity of the effort she was doing when going out.

 

[Wallach]

this is seriously the funniest part. like, she's my partner, not some fucking random i met off the street. if i can do something nice for her and make her life just a little easier, something that makes her feel good, that makes me feel good. her bag never weighs more than five (5) pounds either, not like it's a chore to carry around.

If it's not a chore to carry around why does she need you to do it in the first place...?

 

[ZackieChan]

Well when I make a post complaining about the mere fact that someone else is expecting me to carrying something for an extended amount of time, I like to make sure that I include it is my female SO, and the item is a big orange bag. But no, don't make implications from that. They are just meaningless additions.



I guess you don't think this implies anything either.



or this.

And yeah, sure. Comedically evil women exist. It is just ironic to see so many people that claim to have not been flagged with warning signs that they are dating a sociopath.

Those posts you quoted have no problem holding the purse, they just hold it differently.

And disrespectful women are not sociopaths. They're just disrespectful, and it is different than a one-time or infrequent request to hold the purse. I think that is what us anti-purse holders are getting at.

And I could quote more than a few "she holds my dick, so I hold her purse" posts that are not hinting at any deeper meaning.

 

[ebullientprism]

I dont care. I hold whatever the wife hands over without overthinking or being childish about it. She does the same for me if I am carrying too much shit or dont feel like carrying something. Whats the big deal?

I do keep telling her to get a sling bag though. Because her purse is usually so full she cant even close it half the times. The amount of shit thats stuffed in there is ridiculous.

Edit LOL Some really petty and petulant posts in this thread.

 

[Adam Scott Aukerman]

If it's not a chore to carry around why does she need you to do it in the first place...?

Ask this of everything you've ever asked of someone else. Life really is much easier (and more enjoyable) when we share and help those around us.

 

[Sai-kun]

If it's not a chore to carry around why does she need you to do it in the first place...?

She doesn't ask it that often of me. I imagine it's just a hassle to carry a bag around for that long, all day? Regardless of that, though, it's like I said, if I can somehow make her day a little easier and do something nice for her, I'm happy to do that for her. It's literally not even a 'man' thing. I could be dating another guy, and I would do the same for them. It's just being nice to someone that you care about, man.

 

[Souldestroyer Reborn]

If we were out shopping and in a shop where the SO is looking through clothes etc then sure I'd hold it for a bit man style but when she's finished looking she would get the bag given back to her.

For the sake of it just because she doesn't want it? Nope. Tough shit. I didn't bring a man bag aka 'satchel' because I couldn't be bothered with it.

Luckily my SO literally never takes a bag anywhere with her I usually get given her debit card to put in my wallet and her phone to put in my pocket if she doesn't have any.

Worst case scenario I can do a runner with her money

 

[Gravy Boat]

If it's not a chore to carry around why does she need you to do it in the first place...?

Have you never asked your other half to do anything for you? Like, make you a cup of tea or pass you the remote or whatever? Sometimes you're just lazy and want other people to do stuff for you. In the case of a significant other, IE someone you're in a relationship with and presumably want to spend the foreseeable future with, shit like this shouldn't be an issue. If she's asking you to hold her purse every time you go out together then that needs to stop, but the OP is talking about one specific time (sounds like the first time she ever asked him to do it).

Just help her out, hold her purse. I'm sure she does things for you all the time without making a deal out of it.

Like, if you girlfriend ask you to make her a cup of tea one night, would you inspect her to ensure her legs aren't broken then tell her to do it herself? I find it hard to believe that you guys live in relationships where things like this don't take place.

 

[Spiritreaver]

??? I don't understand this kind of stuff. Maybe because I'm single.

But if you're the kinda guy that has a problem with it, don't do it and communicate to her why you don't want to do it and what she can do to make it less of a problem for her. At the same time ask her why she needs you to carry it? One or both of you may not fully grasp what's going on.

If you're the kind of guy that has no problems with carrying a heavy purse around for any reason. Then do it?

I don't think either situation is good or bad. It's about the dynamics of the relationship and how the two people work together. Some people view just about any action that benefits their partner as a sign of affection, some don't. You communicate and make compromises when things don't mesh quite as well, especially when it's very petty like purse carrying.

I feel like a lot of people seem to struggle with basic communication in relationships and making a problem out of nothing.

 

[THRILLH0]

Yesterday while I was out with my SO she asked me to hold her purse, I say "of course" thinking she is probably just going to do something quick and ask for it back. But then she starts walking so I ask her, do you mean actually walk with your purse? When she says yes I hand her back her purse and tell her that if she doesn't want to walk with it or if it's too heavy we can go back to the car and leave it there.

Holy shit.

I'm with the No Hold team. I'll hold it while she goes to the bathroom, tries on clothes/accessories, but as soon as that's over and we are walking the bag get's passed back. She brought the bag to accentuate her outfit not mine.

I'm dying here.

Is this an MRA thing?

 

[True Savior]

Do you guys even like each other ?

Off course i'll carry it. Not always , naturally. But she wouldn't always ask me.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Holy shit.

I know, it's crazy that someone would rather walk all the way back to their car than simply help out their girlfriend for an hour or whatever it takes to go shopping.

Do you guys get like this anytime your other half asks you to do anything that she could easily do herself? If she asked you get her a drink from the fridge would you have the same issues, or is it only when purse is involved?

 

[Rosenskjold]

I think worst case scenario is if she's "testing" you. I don't think anyone would want to date a girl who feels it's necessary to make small tests, to see if you're "good enough" for her.

 

[ebullientprism]

Have you never asked your other half to do anything for you? Like, make you a cup of team or pass you the remote or whatever? Sometimes you're just lazy and want other people to do stuff for you. In the case of a significant other, IE someone you're in a relationship with and presumably want to spend the foreseeable future with, shit like this shouldn't be an issue. If she's asking you to hold her purse every time you go out together then that needs to stop, but the OP is talking about one specific time (sounds like the first time she ever asked him to do it).

Just help her out, hold her purse. I'm sure she does things for you all the time without making a deal out of it.

Like, if you girlfriend ask you to make her a cup of tea one night, would you inspect her to ensure her legs aren't broken then tell her to do it herself? I find it hard to believe that you guys live in relationships where things like this don't take place.

Absolutely spot on.

Its hard to believe that people who think this is an "issue" are or have been in any serious relationship. You just do things for people you like. They do the same for you. Its not really complicated. Thats how it is in real life.

Only on GAF is this an 8 page "problem" thread.

 

[True Savior]

I think worst case scenario is if she's "testing" you. I don't think anyone would want to date a girl who feels it's necessary to make small tests, to see if you're "good enough" for her.

Its a...purse.

She isnt putting a naked woman in front of him.

A purse.

 

[THRILLH0]

I think worst case scenario is if she's "testing" you. I don't think anyone would want to date a girl who feels it's necessary to make small tests, to see if you're "good enough" for her.

I can't imagine anyone would want to date a person this cynically paranoid.

 

[Transhuman]

I make it a point not to carry anyone else's things unless they are either physically unable, trying to carry two things at once, or if it's an issue of muscle soreness. Even if it's a backpack or laptop bag or something. Asking someone to carry something you can carry easily enough is just rude, handbag or no.

 

[Wallach]

Ask this of everything you've ever asked of someone else. Life really is much easier (and more enjoyable) when we share and help those around us.

I generally try to, actually, which is sort of all I was getting at.

She doesn't ask it that often of me. I imagine it's just a hassle to carry a bag around for that long, all day? Regardless of that, though, it's like I said, if I can somehow make her day a little easier and do something nice for her, I'm happy to do that for her. It's literally not even a 'man' thing. I could be dating another guy, and I would do the same for them. It's just being nice to someone that you care about, man.

I don't think this is a "man" thing either, I guess it just strikes me as a little thoughtless to ask someone to do something for me if only because I don't feel like doing it. Obviously you wind up doing these kinds of small things all the time in a relationship, but at the same time I'd hardly be upset if they didn't in a case where it is really so trivial.

 

[Gravy Boat]

I don't think this is a "man" thing either, I guess it just strikes me as a little thoughtless to ask someone to do something for me if only because I don't feel like doing it. Obviously you wind up doing these kinds of small things all the time in a relationship, but at the same time I'd hardly be upset if they didn't in a case where it is really so trivial.

I don't think most people would, which leads me to believe the OP acted like a jerk about it when she asked him.

 

[SliceSabre]

If she doesn't want to carry it then she shouldn't have brought it.

 

[Seraph_Nicholas]

My girlfriend forgets everything constantly and has no clothes with pockets, so I'm in the habit of carrying all her things. In fairness, most of my jeans have pockets that nearly reach my knees.

Right side for my phone/vita/vape, left side for her phone/wallet/keys/sundry.

I don't see a problem with carrying a purse, but I'm also an undefeated champion at Gay Chicken, so perhaps I'm not one to say.

 

[Always-honest]

I do it, for a short while, but i'll admit i feel silly.. Not sure why.
What i do think is absolutely horrible is that there are still men who will not push a baby stroller in public. Jesus, that's your kid. Be proud.

 

[Moff]

yep, she tried
and no way

 

[Karl Hawk]

Wow some of you are pushovers..

Says the guy who made a bitchy thread about his sister who got her prescribed percocet after getting her wisdom's teeth out.

 

[Sparkedglory]

Sure I'd carry it. It's just a purse. And why wouldn't I want to help out my SO for a bit?

 

[pashmilla]

I would for a bit, sure. Newspapers thing though, for real.

Also, you guys need to understand the whole "girls never have functional pockets" thing. They're always decorative. Guys are wearing glorified Tripp pants, and women have about 2cm to work with. That shitty little pocket inside of your real front pockets on jeans? They're like that.

They also have to carry more shit than us.

I'm sorry, but where the hell are all these women buying these mythical pocketless clothes? All my jeans and skirts have normal pockets I can put a phone or purse (money purse, not an American handbag) in.

 

[travisbickle]

I see the battle of the sexes is still alive and well. Psychological warfare against your partner? Strange.