So Hufflepuff is CLEARLY the best house...

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Hufflepuff's common room is the closest to the kitchen and they enter by knocking on a barrel instead of a password. Clearly best house.
 
That guy who dies in the maze at the end of book 4 was Hufflepuff, right? Did he ever do anything to define him as a doofus or fat idiot?
 
Hufflepuff house were bros though. When shit hit the fan Hufflepuff stayed with Griffindor to fight Voldermort and his death eaters. Yeah Hufflepuff stayed to fight when it mattered. They're okay imo.
 
That guy who dies in the maze at the end of book 4 was Hufflepuff, right? Did he ever do anything to define him as a doofus or fat idiot?

He entered a tournament where only one paragon of the school gets picked and didn't even succeed at that part lol.
 
Well, there were really only 3 girls at school who didn't care about his fame. Hermione, Ginny (after book 2), and Luna.

I really didn't have an issue with the pair ups. Harry is too normal for Luna. Hermione is more like a Sister, and he and Ginny ended up having a lot in common.

Hermione and Ron seemed foreshadowed. They complimented each other much better in the books. Ron was the pragmatic, level headed one, and while Hermione was very smart, she crumbled under pressure (where in the films, Hermione is both smart and level headed and Ron always falls apart).

And while I didn't mind the pairings, I do think the underlying reason was that the Trio is all related in the end.

Ron and Hermione were an interesting couple since their personalities bounced off each other yet they were clearly attracted to each other - when it finally happened it felt like a exciting climax to an interesting arc.

Harry and Ginny didn't have to do shit because Ginny is perfect and already in love with Harry.
 
The TriWizard tournament only allowing people who happen to be seniors at the time the tournament takes place was some hot bullshit.
 
I went to an academic camp my final summer of high school. One afternoon, a Harry Potter fan club was meeting. I figured I would sit in, not knowing anything about Harry Potter but wanting to be around the energy of people passionate about something.

The club met outside. As people were assembling in the quad, somebody picked up a blade of grass, whistled through it, and shouted with pure nerd glee "Hufflepuff rules!" Knowing there would be nothing better in the actual meeting, I quickly left.

So yes, OP, Hufflepuff is CLEARLY the best house.
 
The TriWizard tournament only allowing people who happen to be seniors at the time the tournament takes place was some hot bullshit.

I think technically some sixth years could have been eligible. Some kids born after September 1, but before the Tournament entry date. I think one of the people who threw their name in was one of the girls on Harry's Quiddich team, who became the team captain in book 5.
 
Refining my point, Helga Hufflepuff built a better cult of personality factory than even Slytherin.

1. Get everyone who values hardwork above all else.

2. Pick up the spares.

3. Subject them all to seven years of instilling how important dedicated loyalty is in all of the students, of which Hufflepuff must certainly have the most.

4. Watch the cream of the house rise to the top.

5. Talented hardworking students now have a ready-made army in their less talented, fiercely loyal housemates.

AND WE SEE THIS SHIT PLAY OUT!

Look how devoted Hufflepuff was to Cedric. They worshipped that boy like a god.

If all these evil Wizards would stop showing up the fucling Hufflepuffs would rule the world... kindly.
 
Reading this thread really make me want to read/listen to the books. I've seen the movies, but I always thought they were full of convenient plot twists and one too many deus ex machinas, but I also suspected that was more a fair of the movies than the source material. Would the books annoy me in this regard?
 
So yeah. Gryffindors value courage, Ravenvlaws intelligence, Slytherin ambition. There are a lot of jokes about Hufflepuff being the C students of the HP universe, afterall, Helga Hufflepuff said she'd "take the rest."

So the sorting hat houses you based on 2 things. What you can do, and what you value. And we've seen it put values over skills. Capability, after all, can be nurtured and cultivated.

What is it that Hufflepuff students are suppossed to value most?

Busting your ass.

So yes, Hufflepuff is full of kids who got put there because they've got good hustle, but you know who else is there?

The genius who credits their intelligence primarily to hours of laborious study.

The athlete who's on the field running herself ragged every day.

The social climber making his connections and creating owed favors now instead of waiting for some dark lord to grace him with gifts.

Basically everyone who would have been in another house if not for the fact that they value putting their noses to the grindstone more than they value the way in which they do so.

And they have a network of lesser acheivers willing to work their asses off to help their more talented friends.

Hufflepuff is the house you join if you actually want to accomplish anything in life without having to be some chosen one or a person meant to aid in someone else's special destiny.

Basically WIM
 
Neville was concidered a whimp all thru the books, faced dangers and enemies that outclassed him constantly and by the end of the series is a bonafide badass even if his close friend, Potter, gets all the glory.

Him as Krillin is accurate actually.

Then its a shame Voldy didn't kill him. Maybe Harry would have gone Super Wizard and fought Voldemort on even footing instead relying on a loophole to win the day.
 
I dunno, it was a pretty dangerous tournament that could ( and did) end in death.

To be fair, said death was caused by a factor external to the actual tournament, under normal tourney conditions, because several factors, Cedric would have lived and won.
 
To be fair, said death was caused by a factor external to the actual tournament, under normal tourney conditions, because several factors, Cedric would have lived and won.

Under normal circumstances, Cedric may have lost the first challenge because everybody else cheated.
 
I reckon it'd be easier just to shove someone off their broomstick.
Hey, s/he wanted a suicide spell and I posted a suicide spell.
To be fair, said death was caused by a factor external to the actual tournament, under normal tourney conditions, because several factors, Cedric would have lived and won.
Yeah, but the tournament was still incredibly dangerous. The age restriction was probably because Hogwarts didn't want an 11 year old going up against a fire-breathing dragon.
 
On a side note, how did Slytherin even happen? Its as if a college had an entire dorm where all the white supremacists went.
 
On a side note, how did Slytherin even happen? Its as if a college had an entire dorm where all the white supremacists went.

Most colleges were filled with white supremacists because everyone was a white supremacist back in the day.

I think it's more that, as the other houses moved with the times, Slytherin remained staunchly hyperconservative.
 
That guy who dies in the maze at the end of book 4 was Hufflepuff, right? Did he ever do anything to define him as a doofus or fat idiot?

He was the loved Hufflepuff who played Quidditch (captained), and was a prefect. I don't think he belonged in the house at all.

Then again, he's such a swell guy that he helped hold off Voldemort to give Harry time during the Battle of Hogwarts despite basically dying because of him. So like a few others said, he basically died. That's it.
 
From reading this thread, I've decided that I'd like to read a headcanon newsletter written by Cyan and Haly.
 
It used to be my headcanon that cancer doesn't exist in the Harry Potter universe:

1) If cancer existed, wizards would also suffer from cancer
2) If wizards suffered from cancer, they would develop a magical remedy for it
3) No ethical wizard doctor would hide the cure for cancer from a population numbering in the billions because "they don't want to be bothered with muggles seeking medical treatment", which is one of the reasons given for magical secrecy
4) Ergo, cancer must not exist, or else wizarding medicine would threaten the secrecy of the wizarding community when people are magically cured of cancer with no plausible explanation

However, after reasoning upon it some more, I came up with a better theory:

1) Cancer exists in the Harry Potter universe
2) There exists a magical cure for cancer
3) There are good samaritans in the wizarding community who secretly move throughout the muggle world dispensing this cure, always staying ahead of the wizarding government to escape detection and incarceration, though not always successfully; they belong to a secret order of charitable and muggle-friendly magical doctors

Corollary to the above:

1) Miracles in history can be attributed to said secret order
2) With the increase in centralization in the society of the magical world, and the advent of global enchantments that detect illegal use of magic, it has become harder and harder to perform "miracles" for the sake of muggles
3) This explains why "miracles" become less and less common as muggle history moves from antiquity to the present day
4) Jesus was a real person and one of these magical doctors
 
On a side note, how did Slytherin even happen? Its as if a college had an entire dorm where all the white supremacists went.

People from rich asshole families tend to be ambitious.

Ambitious people get sorted into Slytherin.

Ambitious people not from rich asshole families adopt rich asshole family views in order to be accepted and pursue their ambitions.

Vicious cycle
 
I think a lot of the bad rap Slytherin gets comes from how you don't get to see other years in Hogwarts that much. I think Malfoy basically tainted his class with his personality. I really don't see someone like a teenage Slughorn being a part of Draco's schemes although I can certainly see him playing nice to stay in the latter's good graces.

I mean besides (most) kids changing as they mature into adults and all that
 
Reading this thread really make me want to read/listen to the books. I've seen the movies, but I always thought they were full of convenient plot twists and one too many deus ex machinas, but I also suspected that was more a fair of the movies than the source material. Would the books annoy me in this regard?

There is some of that but for the most part the books do a much better job of setting up those plot twists throughout the story. They never felt cheap. Remember that a couple of these books were 700+ pages and the movies were, what, 2.5 hours? They cut out and compressed a LOT to make them work.
 
There are some stupid plot conveniences in the book. Some made it into the movie, like the Trace, which makes absolutely no sense and is used with zero consistency in the books. It's used when the plot demands it, and ignored in other cases. Others the movie left out, like the Taboo, which was a really, really stupid thing to toss in just to get the Trio captured in the last book. I actually think the movie did it better by just having them accidentally aparate into the middle of a much of Snatchers.
 
It used to be my headcanon that cancer doesn't exist in the Harry Potter universe:

1) If cancer existed, wizards would also suffer from cancer
2) If wizards suffered from cancer, they would develop a magical remedy for it
3) No ethical wizard doctor would hide the cure for cancer from a population numbering in the billions because "they don't want to be bothered with muggles seeking medical treatment", which is one of the reasons given for magical secrecy
4) Ergo, cancer must not exist, or else wizarding medicine would threaten the secrecy of the wizarding community when people are magically cured of cancer with no plausible explanation

However, after reasoning upon it some more, I came up with a better theory:

1) Cancer exists in the Harry Potter universe
2) There exists a magical cure for cancer
3) There are good samaritans in the wizarding community who secretly move throughout the muggle world dispensing this cure, always staying ahead of the wizarding government to escape detection and incarceration, though not always successfully; they belong to a secret order of charitable and muggle-friendly magical doctors

Corollary to the above:

1) Miracles in history can be attributed to said secret order
2) With the increase in centralization in the society of the magical world, and the advent of global enchantments that detect illegal use of magic, it has become harder and harder to perform "miracles" for the sake of muggles
3) This explains why "miracles" become less and less common as muggle history moves from antiquity to the present day
4) Jesus was a real person and one of these magical doctors

You could extend this further past cancer though. Wizards clearly have vastly superior medicine.

People regrow lost bones and have years of complicated dental surgery done in minutes. They apparently have disinfectants not based on antibiotics and potions that help fight depression. No wonder they live well past 100.

And not with direct magic from wands or anything either, but with packaged products that it doesn't seem like you need any magic ability to use or benefit from.

Kind of makes me view the Ministry as huge dicks in that they're not spreading this stuff to the muggles, even surreptitiously, yet have no problem taking whatever modern advances they like from technology (trains, elevators, etc), but seem rather tight fisted in giving anything back.
 
Kind of makes me view the Ministry as huge dicks in that they're not spreading this stuff to the muggles, even surreptitiously, yet have no problem taking whatever modern advances they like from technology (trains, elevators, etc), but seem rather tight fisted in giving anything back.

Yep, that was what I was getting at. It's quite damning really.
 
Also the wizard prison is a miserable, soul-sucking place that destroys the lives and happiness of those who enter it, and no one seems to care about the prisoners.

... oh. Hmm.
 
I don't really mind them keeping back things like that. I don't need another layer of functional aristocracy above my head, thanks. Let 'em live in their bubble. So long as they keep the crazy from leaking out I'm fine with the upside being withheld as well.
 
Yep, that was what I was getting at. It's quite damning really.

I guess when you get right down to it this was the reason there was so much tension between Death Eaters and muggleborns. I have to imagine enough of them realized the stuff about blood purity and muggleborns "stealing the magic" from wizarding children was nonsense (doubtless there were some true believers though).

What they were really worried about is that these people growing up in late 20th century Britain had very different views to a culture that largely hadn't changed since the Middle Ages. A generation of Hermione Grangers finding House Elf slavery repugnant in a way even well meaning purebloods like Ron wouldn't question.
 
What they were really worried about is that these people growing up in late 20th century Britain had very different views to a culture that largely hadn't changed since the Middle Ages. A generation of Hermione Grangers finding House Elf slavery repugnant in a way even well meaning purebloods like Ron wouldn't question.

Christ, I haven't taken the idea this far yet. This opens up a whole new perspective on the Death Eaters!
 
Slytherin needed to be portrayed as being divided by the "Death Eater kids" and actually decent, ambitious people, rather than cartoonishly evil. Rowling really messed up there, should have had them at the final battle. She also should have had some Slytherin kids tell Malfoy to fuck off and back up Harry during previous books.

I've been thinking that forever, people keep trying to rationalize the existence of Slytherin and how it's unfair to call them all evil but she made a point of saying that none stayed, that they all wanted harry's head, would have been such an easy fix to have maybe like 25%-40% of em stay behind and fight alongside Harry, but nope. So textually there is no support to say that Slytherin isn't the house of pure blood supremacist murderers in training.
 
Kind of makes me view the Ministry as huge dicks in that they're not spreading this stuff to the muggles, even surreptitiously, yet have no problem taking whatever modern advances they like from technology (trains, elevators, etc), but seem rather tight fisted in giving anything back.

I've always thought the Wizards were dicks for not sharing medical technology, but I never thought about the fact that wizards mooch off Muggle inventions.
 
I like that Ginny ends up being a better seeker than Harry. She can catch the Snitch without the fastest broom on the planet. She's just that good.
Harry impressed McGonagall with his potential as a Seeker while using a school-issue broom, prompting her to pull him out of class and put him on the team as the youngest Seeker in Hogwarts history. And then McGonagall was the one who sneakily gifted him a top-of-the-line world-class broom, because deep down she's horribly biased and wanted Gryffindor to win at Quiddich.

The fact that broomsticks aren't standardized is shit.

The fact the entirety of the game outside of who catches the Snitch is irrelevant is shit.

I like how at the start of the series Slytherin is dominating at Quiddich and racking up House points, and Gryffindor has a pretty good team (minus a Seeker) so Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are rooting for Gryffindor to beat Slytherin (eternal rivalries are fun) just to see Slytherin get taken down a peg.

And then Gryffindor gets Harry "Chosen One" Potter as their Seeker, and dominates by shutting the game down with fast victories.

And then Draco Malfoy buys his way onto the Slytherin team by upgrading all of their equipment (raising the already-powerful team's overall power), but in the process he ensures that Slytherin has a second-rate Seeker who didn't get the job based on skill. Way to ruin your own team for personal gain, Malfoy. You're a magnificent Slytherin.

And then Hufflepuff emerges as the #2 Quiddich team. That's the power of Hufflepuff. They're slow and steady and they win after the flashier Houses burn themselves out.

And then Ginny proves herself as good a Seeker as Harry. The Potter kids are going to be Quiddich masters. It's in their DNA. Uncle Ron is even an ace goaltender (when you get him drunk enough).

On a side note, how did Slytherin even happen? Its as if a college had an entire dorm where all the white supremacists went.

Four friends were the greatest, most powerful Wizards of their age, and they decided "Let's start a school so we can spread this ability around and make the world a better place. We can break off into different groups with unique focus, and trade classes occasionally to give students some well-rounded experience." Gryffindor says "I think people work best when they're motivated to fight for what they believe in", Ravenclaw says "Studying is the key to victory", Hufflepuff says "Hard work is the real answer to every problem", and Slytherin says "Wait wait, aren't we getting a bit ahead of ourselves. First we need to establish the most obvious rule. No Jews or Niggers. Right? Right? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

And since a shockingly large segment of the population actually agreed with Slytherin on this matter, the other three said "Okay, I guess that's an opinion. How about this, teachers can choose their students, and students can choose their teachers. The Jews and Niggers can come learn with us three, and those that can't stand to be around Jews and Niggers can go learn with Slytherin."
 
Harry impressed McGonagall with his potential as a Seeker while using a school-issue broom, prompting her to pull him out of class and put him on the team as the youngest Seeker in Hogwarts history. And then McGonagall was the one who sneakily gifted him a top-of-the-line world-class broom, because deep down she's horribly biased and wanted Gryffindor to win at Quiddich.


Oh, Harry has skills at it. But Ginny can do it without all the extra help from the broom.
 
I've always thought the Wizards were dicks for not sharing medical technology, but I never thought about the fact that wizards mooch off Muggle inventions.

What strikes me as even worse than that is the hypocrisy of how they viewed that technology.

Wizarding society was clearly fine with just wholesale scooping things up like cameras and indoor plumbing or buses but when someone like Arthur Weasley wanted to actually understand how these mechanical devices worked he was treated as some sort of borderline degenerate.
 
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