I just watched a man masturbate outside my window

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Maybe he was just washing his ferret.

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This will be my new term.
 
Someone I knew at university saw a guy doing this in a parking lot. At the trial, the defence lawyer asked if she was sure it wasn't a submarine sandwich: "Uh, very sure."
 
why are you watching someone fap, then complain about it? you should be paying him for the entertainment, not calling the cops on him
 
OP said:
He stopped briefly when I opened the window and started looking around but I hid and peeked through the blinds to see what he was going to do next.

Right here, you became a willing participant. He probably knew you saw him as well.
 
i can't even figure out the logistics of this, wouldn't your hands just constantly be hitting each other

No, no, no. You do right hand, then left hand, then right hand, and keep alternating hand over hand quickly and efficiently so the head is never neglected.
 
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