If I ask a chick out I pay. I always felt it must be really freaky as a chick going on a date especially a first date. I was never one to meet at a restaurant or go on a blind date. A women has to put a lot out there to hop in a car with a dude she hardly knows, I figure if she does that even if she turns out to be a bitch the least I can do is pay.
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Dating show couple awkwardly argues over who should pay bill, online debate ensues
- Thread starter entremet
- Start date
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Vigilant Walrus
Member
It's a back and forth thing isn't it?
You hear about some women like this, "Well you know, I'm a feminist but when it comes to who pay the bill on a date, I'm old-fashioned".
Fortunately, I feel like this the exception. At least in my experience.
I use it as a base of finding out if a girl likes me. If I am standing at a bar and I talk to a girl, I order a drink for myself, and if I like her, I will share mine with her. I got no problem with that.
I'm not being cheap. I'll buy drinks for my friends. But.. If I like you, I would never want to bribe you. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they had to talk to me and be polite because I bought them a 15 dollars cocktail. That's like the kid at kindergarten who desperately wants to be popular and gives away his toys to other kids so they will like him.
That's not a good strategy to figure out if people really care about you. If a girl really wants to talk to you and find you interesting, you don't have to do anything. It's basic self-respect, and also respecting the other person and seeing them being able to pay for their own things, with their own money.
There is no emasculation associated with being the guy who makes less money. That is sexist thinking. If you're a man who doesn't want to be with a woman because she earns more than you, then you got a real problem. If you're a woman who doesn't want to be with a man because he makes less than you, you got a real problem. You shouldn't judge peoples value in any shape or form based on that.
You hear about some women like this, "Well you know, I'm a feminist but when it comes to who pay the bill on a date, I'm old-fashioned".
Fortunately, I feel like this the exception. At least in my experience.
I use it as a base of finding out if a girl likes me. If I am standing at a bar and I talk to a girl, I order a drink for myself, and if I like her, I will share mine with her. I got no problem with that.
I'm not being cheap. I'll buy drinks for my friends. But.. If I like you, I would never want to bribe you. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they had to talk to me and be polite because I bought them a 15 dollars cocktail. That's like the kid at kindergarten who desperately wants to be popular and gives away his toys to other kids so they will like him.
That's not a good strategy to figure out if people really care about you. If a girl really wants to talk to you and find you interesting, you don't have to do anything. It's basic self-respect, and also respecting the other person and seeing them being able to pay for their own things, with their own money.
There is no emasculation associated with being the guy who makes less money. That is sexist thinking. If you're a man who doesn't want to be with a woman because she earns more than you, then you got a real problem. If you're a woman who doesn't want to be with a man because he makes less than you, you got a real problem. You shouldn't judge peoples value in any shape or form based on that.
I have never heard of this before people share drinks in a bar? Taste a drink sure but to actually share one that just seems super weird.
The unfair expectations placed on men due to animated princes.
Fight the power brother.
You are missing out.
Yes, in the name of fairness both should pay or alternate, but society is not there yet.
Men are still expected to pay, but if their date is a good catch they will at least offer. I would personally be very put off if the girl just assumed I was paying and passed me the bill, despite me having every intention of paying.
Men are still expected to pay, but if their date is a good catch they will at least offer. I would personally be very put off if the girl just assumed I was paying and passed me the bill, despite me having every intention of paying.
Of course. I hope they have the common courtesy to split if the jack up the bill. Even hanging with other dudes, it blows when one/some jack the bill up and insist on an even split.
metalslimer
Member
People who expect to be paid for are pretty shitty. It makes it seems like they did you a courtesy by going out with you. You aren't entitled to anything
TouchMyBox
Member
Well it's bullshit and everybody knows it, but if you decide to act against it, have fun not having many second dates.
It is what it is and it's pretty low on the list of issues out there I would think and ultimately who cares.
I have always paid either my half or the full bill (I feel like if I invite someone out, I should pay). I feel like it is potentially an assumption on the dude's part that he will just pay it, unless the chick offers. I have never had a dude offer to pay half the bill until I bring it up.
But I mean, you know, all chicks are gold diggers and just want the dudes to pay for them.
But I mean, you know, all chicks are gold diggers and just want the dudes to pay for them.
FunkyMunkey
Banned
better he find out she's a falsely entitled brat right away I guess
PdotMichael
Banned
If you invite a girl to a date then of course you pay. For all cases is sharing the only fair option.
Prophet Steve
Member
Turns out, a bunch of people care.
Since the chances of this are so small, we end up at his preferred place of "what sort of man doesn't pay the bill"
Wolfe
Member
I'm barely into the thread and multiple posts on the price of the place already?
"British reality dating show First Dates — which revolves around a restaurant in London in which various couples meet for the first time to have dinner"
It's a location chosen by the program if the bits from the OP are correct, literally the second line of text in the OP...
The price of the meal isn't the issue here fellas.
As for the subject, I would be rather off put to have a date react like that in that situation, especially if it was for some reality tv program and not a date set up under normal circumstances.
Eh, I'm fine with paying the bill during a date if I want to, but fuck that noise of there being expectation of it. Times change. (Sounds rather assholish upon reread lol) I mean would you say the same thing about the situation if the roles were reversed?
"British reality dating show First Dates — which revolves around a restaurant in London in which various couples meet for the first time to have dinner"
It's a location chosen by the program if the bits from the OP are correct, literally the second line of text in the OP...
The price of the meal isn't the issue here fellas.
As for the subject, I would be rather off put to have a date react like that in that situation, especially if it was for some reality tv program and not a date set up under normal circumstances.
Eh, I'm fine with paying the bill during a date if I want to, but fuck that noise of there being expectation of it. Times change. (Sounds rather assholish upon reread lol) I mean would you say the same thing about the situation if the roles were reversed?
This is completely untrue. I've never had to shell out cash in order to get a second date.
Beatofficer
Member
I pay 100% of the time...
With my wife's bank card.
When we were dating we alternated or split depending. Our checks were always pretty inexpensive because she doesn't really drink any alcohol.
With my wife's bank card.
When we were dating we alternated or split depending. Our checks were always pretty inexpensive because she doesn't really drink any alcohol.
ScatheZombie
Member
It is times like this that I am so glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this petty bullshit.
supernormal
Member
This is usually how I do it. I eat at a lot of restaurants, and during the day it's usually with a work buddy or whatever (so it's not a even a gender thing). If I approach them then it's on me.Yesterday I had dinner with a client who wanted to meet me, he payed for the bill.
When I go out with my girlfriend I usually pay for dinner, because she covers the traveling expenses by picking up and taking me home.
Why?
Thug Waffle
Member
Well, there's a subtle difference between "let's go on a date" and "let me take you out to dinner." So whoever asked whoever out has to be responsible for their phrasing lol
If you're going out on a date then chances are you're in the demographic where women are making more than you.
lol, I am sorry but this struck me as funny.
richardhawk
Member
Never paid for an entire bill (on a date). I've always split it. The one time I had a girl say "so you're paying right?" I laughed super hard and said hell no I'm not this ain't a free meal.
Went on 4 more dates with her after.
Went on 4 more dates with her after.
The only time it feels appropriate to pay for everything is when you are much more financially advantaged than the other person. Otherwise just split it 50/50.
I would never throw a fit about having to pay it but it would affect my opinion and make me reconsider followup dates if it was a big tab/bill.
I only make a point to pay for the whole thing when its a real occasion like a birthday or something where the whole concept of it is to treat them to something they otherwise would not indulge in.
I would never throw a fit about having to pay it but it would affect my opinion and make me reconsider followup dates if it was a big tab/bill.
I only make a point to pay for the whole thing when its a real occasion like a birthday or something where the whole concept of it is to treat them to something they otherwise would not indulge in.
Same here, I offer to do anal and if the girl agreess I never go out with them again.
uncelestial
Member
If there's a big income difference, I think the rich person should pay. My gf and I both have good jobs so we take turns, with me picking up slightly more often because I make slightly more. (My gf is the best, btw.)
I would give zero fucks about someone walking away from the table because I wouldn't automatically just pay their way. It's not about the money either. I have the money. This poor firefighter who was expected to treat a female manager might not have, though.
I am literally offended by the expectation persisting in spite of that, as a feminist. Women like this do nobody any favors. Not men, not women.
I would give zero fucks about someone walking away from the table because I wouldn't automatically just pay their way. It's not about the money either. I have the money. This poor firefighter who was expected to treat a female manager might not have, though.
I am literally offended by the expectation persisting in spite of that, as a feminist. Women like this do nobody any favors. Not men, not women.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
That's a Norwegian Forest Cat.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Lmao, how old are you?
Why?
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