...and other posts saying the same thing.
What makes you think I skipped games in the series? I have literally never heard of a Goat Key but lo and behold, somehow that's canon.
Now I'm googling it.
http://www.khwiki.com/Young_Xehanort's_Keyblade
Yeah if this is somehow relevant to the overarching plot, I dunno what to tell you.
I excused the "CHI" blade only because it was so bad it was good, but goats?!
The name Goat Key is just a reference to the goat motif of the desing of the keyblade. It is used by the ultimate villain of the franchise (so far). Its importance is in that Master Xehanort uses it. No need to get your panties in a bunch because of it.
The story is thus - If you steal someone's heart they're heartless, but sometimes with the power of love, you can bring them back, but maybe only if they suicide, but watch out for their Nobody, unless you put them to sleep, then you have to watch out for Dream Eaters, which you might confuse with the Unversed...
If someone loses themselves to darkness, they become a Heartless and leave behind an "empty" shell that is called a Nobody. That someone with strong feelings & ties to a person can pull them back from that darkness is fairly simple and, frankly, cliche story element that is used in stories other than just Kingdom Hearts. Most recently, Ant-Man used a fairly similar plot device.
That a dream realm has enemies called Dream Eaters isn't horriby confusing, is it?
YES THIS IS ALL VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD. I'VE GOT IT MEMORIZED.
Never said that ALL of KH is super straightforward, just that it was silly to start crying about simple concepts like a "group of good vs a group of evil" or a keyblade with a goat motif that the villain uses being incomprehensible. There are some silly things in KH and the quality of writing is quite low, but overall the storyline isn't all that incomprehensible or complex, considering there's over a decade worth of story. Of course if you try to condense the story into two sentences, you can make anything that has dozens of hours worth of story sound incomprehensible.
Basically there's like 3-4 versions of every character, 3-4 different factions of enemies that have to do with ephemeral concepts of darkness and light and love and dreams and hope and hearts and emptiness, but rarely ever at the same time.
I don't see how the concept of a Heartless (kind of like a soul consumed by darkness that turns that soul into a creature that starts yearning for other souls/hearts) or Nobodies (the body left behind without a soul/heart) are all that incomprehensible concepts. They aren't usually wholly different "versions" of the characters. Most of the Org XIII members are the same as their "complete" human forms, except they do (even more) evil stuff as part of Xemnas' ploy because they think they can turn back into complete humans that way (though some of the members have plans of their own). Roxas & Namine are pretty much the only exceptions for that and there are fairly easily explained reasons for that.
Can anyone explain what happens when you 'obtain' Kingdom Hearts? That's what the chi-blade is for, right? What happens? Has it happened before?
Kingdom Hearts just kind of seems like the Ultimate Power in the universe. If one can "obtain" or harness its power, one probably becomes a god-like entity who has very little limits in what he/she can do. Again, a fairly generic concept in a lot of fantasy fiction where you need to stop the villain from attaining such ultimate power that would make then unstoppable & throw the world/universe into chaos & destruction.