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[ElfArmy177]

Yo, you didn't fill charges for domestic abuse? Was this at all brought up in your divorce?

I didn't. Every time she did it I would pick up the phone to call the police and she would fall to the floor crying saying she wants to die.. I was scared of her.. So if hang up the phone. I loved her I didn't want her to hurt herself..

 

[juliushandle]

This is why so many Americans move to countries like Costa Rica and Thailand, to get away from alimony, child support, and taxes.

I'm not saying you should do it. Just saying I'd understand if you did.

 

[Keri]

I don't understand this.

Your ex wife is now working so they will now have more then what they're used to right?

No, I don't think it works like that. They were previously supporting 3 children on $75,000 a year. The ex-wife now makes $30,000 a year. The only way for the children to be supported by the same amount of money, is if the OP gives his wife $45,000 a year (which is about 80% of his first income). If they were still living together in the same household, then yeah, they'd have more money. But since they're not, the children either have the same or less.

 

[entremet]

Yes she's an absolute animal in bed... Thst was also a factor... we would argue like crazy and then she would remove her clothing and pounce. It was like she got off to arguing with me. Pathetic... In fact we had huge arguments because I'd turn her down, and she would punch the wall or dresser screaming "I want to fuck!!!" And so I'd go downstairs and she would take her clothes off and masturbate on the couch near me to get me in the mood or grab me. Sex was great I guess but she was absolutely insane and told me she wanted sex so much because it was the only time she ever feels loved or wanted. Nightmare...

Her dad cheated on her mom and destroyed the marriage so she was beyond insecure. She was having sex with a 22 year old at 16 and when she used to work at dairy queen she would have sex in the back room on a daily basis with her manager. She had a train run on her at 17 and one of the guys was a second cousin or some crazy shit (she claims she didn't know).

She used to tell me she would cheat on her ex all of the time and love it when he got upset. Said she enjoyed it when men felt they were used by her...

I was told all of this after getting married.... It was too late then. She said "I just wanna be honest with you". Yea ok.. Thanks for telling me you're s huge whore after you got a ring. My own fault.. I saw the red flags, she could give a bj like a porn star... I'm an idiot

Oh brother lol.

Not so much about her past, but her love of manipulation. Man lol.

 

[Justzisguyukno]

I didn't. Every time she did it I would pick up the phone to call the police and she would fall to the floor crying saying she wants to die.. I was scared of her.. So if hang up the phone. I loved her I didn't want her to hurt herself..

Your children are now in the custody of a woman that acts like this. Start gathering evidence, as she definitely doesn't sound like a fit parent for them to be around 70% of the time, or more. While you can't prove the previous violence now, she sounds like an easy one to bait into text message arguments.

Just make sure that they would be allowed in court, as I think there are some privacy laws that can prevent them from being used.

 

[Jack The Nipper]

Because you aren't reporting earnings.

Yeah, well that is just that I guess. if you have a good friend it isnt that hard to pay that and still make your due without her knowing.

 

[spock]

This i fucking horrible and I wish I could help somehow. Here is some shit for ya'll...

I'm a single dad, I have custody of our 2 girls. At the moment I'm not getting any support but that another story.

When I was getting support I was getting a whopping...

$148 per month for BOTH kids (ages 6 and 8)

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Yes she's an absolute animal in bed... Thst was also a factor... we would argue like crazy and then she would remove her clothing and pounce. It was like she got off to arguing with me. Pathetic... In fact we had huge arguments because I'd turn her down, and she would punch the wall or dresser screaming "I want to fuck!!!" And so I'd go downstairs and she would take her clothes off and masturbate on the couch near me to get me in the mood or grab me. Sex was great I guess but she was absolutely insane and told me she wanted sex so much because it was the only time she ever feels loved or wanted. Nightmare...

Her dad cheated on her mom and destroyed the marriage so she was beyond insecure. She was having sex with a 22 year old at 16 and when she used to work at dairy queen she would have sex in the back room on a daily basis with her manager. She had a train run on her at 17 and one of the guys was a second cousin or some crazy shit (she claims she didn't know).

She used to tell me she would cheat on her ex all of the time and love it when he got upset. Said she enjoyed it when men felt they were used by her...

I was told all of this after getting married.... It was too late then. She said "I just wanna be honest with you". Yea ok.. Thanks for telling me you're s huge whore after you got a ring. My own fault.. I saw the red flags, she could give a bj like a porn star... I'm an idiot

These are probably all bullshit stories from her, power fantasies and manipulation. I'd not bother telling them again.

 

[DragonSworne]

I have, he said thst because I worked the two jobs for over two years they will force me to keep the hours because its what my children are used to, is having that income

The children are also use to having their mom and dad at home but that doesn't seem to matter when it comes to divorce...

I would press charges against your wife.

 

[stolin]

It's for them to continue something resembling what they were accustomed to rather than say, someone being literally thrown onto the street after a divorce.

Yes she's an absolute animal in bed... she would punch the wall or dresser screaming "I want to fuck!!!"
she could give a bj like a porn star... I'm an idiot

Sounds like you were also "accustomed to" certain things... make the claim.

Chris Rock - Divorce & Pussy Payments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAmeW8bq08k

 

[TimeEffect]

Custody and child protection laws are awfully biased. Sorry OP, find a good lawyer.

It's so sad that such a vile sounding woman can take full advantage of the situation like this. I hope OP can hang in there and fight back

Oh geez, just read about her past. I would be terrified by such a person.

 

[quesalupa]

Dude there's gotta be a way to get the kids away from her. She's friggin nuts.

 

[Dusk Soldier]

to every man out there! regardless of how much you love your significant other and think you know them, sign a freaking prenup, that's what i did and i sleep peacefully at night, my money is mine, her money is hers, whatever we have on both our names gets divided equally, end of story, sorry for you OP

A pre-nup only protects the money you had before getting married.

 

[entremet]

It's so sad that such a vile sounding woman can take full advantage of the situation like this. I hope OP can hang in there and fight back

Oh geez, just read about her past. I would be terrified by such a person.

She could be lying as another poster mentioned. She sounds like an expert manipulator and those love to lie.

Better to assess her character on stuff we could verify, which the OP has a lot of firsthand experience. But not sure how he could use that for legal fodder.

 

[ElfArmy177]

These are probably all bullshit stories from her, power fantasies and manipulation. I'd not bother telling them again.

I never thought of that... I always assumed she was telling the truth about them.

 

[JohnDoe]

Yes she's an absolute animal in bed... Thst was also a factor... we would argue like crazy and then she would remove her clothing and pounce. It was like she got off to arguing with me. Pathetic... In fact we had huge arguments because I'd turn her down, and she would punch the wall or dresser screaming "I want to fuck!!!" And so I'd go downstairs and she would take her clothes off and masturbate on the couch near me to get me in the mood or grab me. Sex was great I guess but she was absolutely insane and told me she wanted sex so much because it was the only time she ever feels loved or wanted. Nightmare...

Her dad cheated on her mom and destroyed the marriage so she was beyond insecure. She was having sex with a 22 year old at 16 and when she used to work at dairy queen she would have sex in the back room on a daily basis with her manager. She had a train run on her at 17 and one of the guys was a second cousin or some crazy shit (she claims she didn't know).

She used to tell me she would cheat on her ex all of the time and love it when he got upset. Said she enjoyed it when men felt they were used by her...

I was told all of this after getting married.... It was too late then. She said "I just wanna be honest with you". Yea ok.. Thanks for telling me you're s huge whore after you got a ring. My own fault.. I saw the red flags, she could give a bj like a porn star... I'm an idiot

Jesus fucking Christ dude... You married an absolute demon D:

 

[BigAT]

 

[halfbeast]

just brainstorming here, but couldn't you work on something with her death threats? you'll need documentation, so basically trying to get her threats through email (or recorded skype calls, although don't know if that's acceptable in court).

either way, make sure that from now on, any contact with her is somehow documented.

 

[Symphonia]

Yup. The whole notion of paying your ex-wife - not just kids - money after marriage is absurd to me. Like one big joke.

Well, yeah. I've never understood why the money one person earns automatically becomes the partners as well, just because they're married. What's yours is yours, and what's mine is mine. If you have a child together, fair enough, you share responsibility for the health and wellbeing of that child. But when it comes to money and assets? Nah, fuck that. If I ever get married, I'm getting a prenup drawn up.

 

[ElfArmy177]

Jesus fucking Christ dude... You married an absolute demon D:

I know.. and the problem is she doesn't think she is. I remember I was crying when I found out she was having sex at work and the literal words out of this woman's mouth were "good this is your fault. I should get a high five because guys get high fives for getting pussy at work, I should get one for sucking *dudes name" cock at work. Don't worry I didn't swallow even though I wanted to, he wouldn't let me because he has more respect for me than thst"

I remember standing there with tears in my eyes completely blown away at what was just said to me.

 

[spock]

Well, yeah. I've never understood why the money one person earns automatically becomes the partners as well, just because they're married. What's yours is yours, and what's mine is mine. If you have a child together, fair enough, you share responsibility for the health and wellbeing of that child. But when it comes to money and assets? Nah, fuck that. If I ever get married, I'm getting a prenup drawn up.

The idea being that one party (especially a stay at home parent) give/gave up the time required to have built up their education, position at a company, etc due to the partnership. So one partner was able to work toward and achieve certain goals while the other sacrificed similar goals for the relationship/situation.

 

[ElfArmy177]

The idea being that one party (especially a stay at home parent) give/gave up the time required to have built up their education, position at a company, etc due to the partnership. So one partner was able to work toward and achieve certain goals while the other sacrificed similar goals for the relationship/situation.

Exactly. However as a nurse tech there is no build up position. She was in school and dropped out so her lack of education or goals was entirely her fault. Because there was no build up and only school required for build up she essentially prevented her own self not me... Maybe I'm wrong in thinking that

 

[bengraven]

Had my mom been smarter, she would be in your wife's position.

My mom wanted to destroy my father and to make sure we never wanted to see him again - she manipulated us, the courts, her family, his family and he eventually became a "deadbeat" dad because he just stopped wanting to give her money. It sounds like your wife is doing that and just might be successful.

 

[Shredderi]

I know.. and the problem is she doesn't think she is. I remember I was crying when I found out she was having sex at work and the literal words out of this woman's mouth were "good this is your fault. I should get a high five because guys get high fives for getting pussy at work, I should get one for sucking *dudes name" cock at work. Don't worry I didn't swallow even though I wanted to, he wouldn't let me because he has more respect for me than thst"

I remember standing there with tears in my eyes completely blown away at what was just said to me.

She's too far gone so it makes sense that she isn't cognizant of her own insanity. That's why she's insane. I'm really fucking sorry you had to hear those things and that you're going through all this misery. Every man's nightmare. The thing you hear about on the internet happening to some guy somewhere far away, sure that nothing that fucked up will happen to you. Bad divorce maybe but not all of that insane "getting off of my man's misery" shit as well.

 

[Mass_Pincup]

No, I don't think it works like that. They were previously supporting 3 children on $75,000 a year. The ex-wife now makes $30,000 a year. The only way for the children to be supported by the same amount of money, is if the OP gives his wife $45,000 a year (which is about 80% of his first income). If they were still living together in the same household, then yeah, they'd have more money. But since they're not, the children either have the same or less.

I see now, thanks.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

I never thought of that... I always assumed she was telling the truth about them.

As did I with my EX wife. Then based on my history with her and the inconstantcies in her retelling of the stories (and these were not even sex stories) yup, bullshit. She told me she had a relationship with her ex boss and she REALLY did not know he was married. Bull fucking shit, but at the time I was all like "past is past" I don't care.

 

[Azzurri]

This is such fucking bullshit, the system is so fucked up for us men.

This is honestly why I'm scared to get married sometimes.

 

[bengraven]

Oh and it's pretty obvious she doesn't want to be a stay at home mom "for the kids".

 

[FunkyMunkey]

do you have any documentation of her admitting to being unfaithful? through text/email/voicemail/etc. you can use that against her

 

[prag16]

No, this really makes you sign a prenup before marriage. If she won't sign then bye bye.

No, this makes you actually heed the dozens of red flags the TC unfortunately ignored.

A prenup isn't as useful in a situation where they both stated out with meager assets, and most assets are now "shared" as far as I know.

Sucks though.

 

[j.rob]

I have never felt more terrified reading through a thread before in my ENTIRE LIFE.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Pre-nups, boys.

Don't let them fool you. "If you love me you wouldn't make me sign a pre-nup!" = "He's onto me!"

 

[Agent Icebeezy]

It's not about just being vindictive, it's that the laws supports this. The one thing that is beyond me is that you are the one with the income. What is your ex-wife's skill and education level. Given that I'm in a similar situation where i'm actually going to fight for custody, something tells me that we are missing some things as far as story.

 

[FinalStageBoss]

Not really anything you can do, the laws are in her favor. The system is broken.

 

[Foffy]

Dude, did you marry a King's Field demon?

I don't even know what to say. You have a manipulative woman pulling all of the strings on you. Knowing me, I would have annexed the children from my life and considered them poisonous because of what this woman has done, so you're a more compassionate man to those with egos the size of the planet.

 

[Empyrean Heaven]

Custody and child protection laws are awfully biased. Sorry OP, find a good lawyer.

They are. I know so many women I would call terrible mothers who got full custody all because they said their husbands abused them, which they didn't. Cops didn't even investigate, they just said "Whelp, your wife must be telling the truth!"

 

[dcelw540]

Someone on this forum must be a lawyer and help this man

 

[diablos991]

I'm all for laws to help raise a child after a separation. But things are out of control now.

Prenup or no marriage these days. Complete bullshit how a divorce can cost 72% of your income for years. Kind of ironic that when they ask for so much they actually create deadbeat dads out of people who were otherwise willing to help.

Any congressman that ever tries to change them will be labeled as a "woman hater".

 

[prwxv3]

They are. I know so many women I would call terrible mothers who got full custody all because they said their husbands abused them, which they didn't. Cops didn't even investigate, they just said "Whelp, your wife must be telling the truth!"

Or even worse thw wife is abusing the father but the police can't believe it.

 

[ElfArmy177]

do you have any documentation of her admitting to being unfaithful? through text/email/voicemail/etc. you can use that against her

Yea, gave it to the guardian and it meant nothing

 

[Gaogaogao]

well ok then I still know nothing

 

[prag16]

I didn't realize how important prenups were until now

As several people have pointed out, a prenup wouldn't have prevented this.

 

[Weevilone]

Pre-nups, boys.

Don't let them fool you. "If you love me you wouldn't make me sign a pre-nup!" = "He's onto me!"

Serous question. Are there pre-nups that help in this situation? It seems they were young and had nothing when they got married. I always thought of them as protection for assets owned before marriage.

 

[entremet]

I didn't realize how important prenups were until now

It may not have been effective for this case.

 

[JoeyJungle]

Have you tried asking for advice on reddit? Might get a better response there.

You seriously need to stop opening your fucking mouth and only say what the lawyer tells you to or would want you to say. Anything you feel on impulse or emotion should not be said. So what if she recorded you calling her a bitch, she can record that any where. The guardian baited you and you took it.

As mush as I like the GAF you would have better chances on reddit. You may even find an activist lawyer there to commit to helping you through this. (Yes, activist lawyers exist for many causes.) Make sure you only discuss the ways you've fucked up in private.

I was about to make the same recommendation. https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice has actual lawyers who could help more than most people on GAF (be sure to include the state you live in)

 

[VolticArchangel]

I didn't. Every time she did it I would pick up the phone to call the police and she would fall to the floor crying saying she wants to die.. I was scared of her.. So if hang up the phone. I loved her I didn't want her to hurt herself..

I know.. and the problem is she doesn't think she is. I remember I was crying when I found out she was having sex at work and the literal words out of this woman's mouth were "good this is your fault. I should get a high five because guys get high fives for getting pussy at work, I should get one for sucking *dudes name" cock at work. Don't worry I didn't swallow even though I wanted to, he wouldn't let me because he has more respect for me than thst"

I remember standing there with tears in my eyes completely blown away at what was just said to me.

I...literally don't have words to express how I feel...

Do everything in your realm of possibility (from your company's overseas operations or even applying for an entirely new one), to move to a different state (or even a country), even if it is shady/illegal when it comes to documentation.

As much as I wish you'd get out of this hell that you're living on a daily basis, your children equally deserve better parenting and upbringing. Do whatever in your power to take your children with you or get them back once you've settled down in the new place.

I wish you well, OP...

 

[Travo]

I understand you can't quit your second job, but do you have to continue paying for everything? Are you paying for her car? If so, quit.

 

[kingwingin]

Reading this thread makes me understand why shit like this ends with the husband hiring a hitman.

Id definelty leave the country and never look back

 

[shintoki]

The idea being that one party (especially a stay at home parent) give/gave up the time required to have built up their education, position at a company, etc due to the partnership. So one partner was able to work toward and achieve certain goals while the other sacrificed similar goals for the relationship/situation.

Well that is true if there are kids. Which is fair.

But if it was just two adults, then it should be treated like any other break up.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Damn, you really found someone at the top of that hot/crazy scale didn't you?

Hope it works out in the end, sounds like some bullshit you're going through.

What happens if you get fired and can't pay? Fuck up that second job and get rid of it sounds like the best thing to do right now.