As a queer person myself, I dislike the shaming that comes from Democrats toward people who call out the similarities between the two parties.
Intersectionality is a pretty important concept in modern feminism and queer rights movements. A (too often) overlooked category of oppression and privilege is class. Considering that Democrats largely serve the interests of the ruling class, and the vast majority of queer and transgender people are not ruling class,
the overall policies of the Democratic Party are harmful to most LGBTQ+ people. It cannot be understated that queer people are more severely affected by poverty and homelessness, or that the well-being of poor transgender people is largely dependent on medical procedures that they may never be able to afford. What hurts the poor and disadvantaged hurts queer people even more. The Democrats will continue to deny us proper healthcare and free access to the means of survival, while maintaining a rigid class structure that oppresses everyone and affects minorities more harshly than their straight/white/cis counterparts.
It's true that Republicans will do more damage to us in the short-term with hateful discriminatory laws; but it's important to realize that they only do this to gain favor among their reactionary voter base. Getting people to hate us and blame us for the moral degeneration of society distracts people from noticing those who are really screwing us over. The ruling class. Protecting the interests of this class at the expense of everyone else is precisely what Democrats and Republicans alike both do.