Nah, I believe most of them. People are weird and gross, which is pretty cool. I don't think there's really anything outlandish enough here to the point where I wouldn't give someone the benefit of the doubt.
What are some of the weirdest things you've done or had happen to you during sex?
- Thread starter Exodust
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Nah, I believe most of them. People are weird and gross, which is pretty cool. I don't think there's really anything outlandish enough here to the point where I wouldn't give someone the benefit of the doubt.
In college I dated a woman who had a horse stabled on campus (she had been on the equestrian team, but quit). She was definitely an odd person, but we clicked on some interesting levels (and she was physically gifted, I'll say). I did not realize until much much later that she is a psychopath. She also fetishized my racial background (I'm black, but fair-skinned) and used to ask for help around her stables. At first, I thought it was cutesy shit. Then I realized just how often the sequence of events went: stable help => sex.
At one point, she lost her damned mind and dropped the N-word during sex. Just straight up yelling for the N-word dick. And I'm not sure how to feel on that. I mean, I'm already here. I'm gonna get mine off. That's a given. But damn.
So one night, this is going down, and I told her not to call me that or speak on my dick that way. She fucking cut me. During sex. Across my chest with a fucking piece of mirror that I'm not sure where the fuck it came from. I'm in shock, screaming "what the fuck did you just do?" Blood is everywhere, her roommate comes in screaming, roommate's boyfriend comes in and faints (bitch ass). I passed out and woke up in the hospital.
Crazy bitch moved to Virginia last I heard.
At one point, she lost her damned mind and dropped the N-word during sex. Just straight up yelling for the N-word dick. And I'm not sure how to feel on that. I mean, I'm already here. I'm gonna get mine off. That's a given. But damn.
So one night, this is going down, and I told her not to call me that or speak on my dick that way. She fucking cut me. During sex. Across my chest with a fucking piece of mirror that I'm not sure where the fuck it came from. I'm in shock, screaming "what the fuck did you just do?" Blood is everywhere, her roommate comes in screaming, roommate's boyfriend comes in and faints (bitch ass). I passed out and woke up in the hospital.
Crazy bitch moved to Virginia last I heard.
Once cut my balls while razoring them just before hitting it. As she went down on me she grabbed the back of my legs which where wet with blood. She looked like a fucking vampire by then but it was good so i didnt mention it until she noticed her bloody hands. She starts panicking about STDs while im lifting my bloodcaked nuts, trying to explain the source.
This thread is helping me realize what a normal sex life I have. My wife and I almost fell off the bed once or twice? That's about it.
Wasn't sex, but my second girlfriend was a preacher's daughter. Cute but we were hopelessly incompatible. In retrospect it was kind of a rebound relationship for me, after my first ugly breakup. We were at my house and started kissing - her first time - then led into more thorough making out. I was surprised how far she was taking things when suddenly she leaps off the couch, runs into the kitchen, and barfs her lungs out into the sink.
She was simply nervous about her first time making out, and the nerves got the best of her. The sink didn't have a garbage disposal, just one of those round metal inserts that filters out the chunks. She holds that up - it's overflowing - and asks where to dump it out at.
We were done making out at that point.
(We never had sex; broke up a couple weeks later.)
Wasn't sex, but my second girlfriend was a preacher's daughter. Cute but we were hopelessly incompatible. In retrospect it was kind of a rebound relationship for me, after my first ugly breakup. We were at my house and started kissing - her first time - then led into more thorough making out. I was surprised how far she was taking things when suddenly she leaps off the couch, runs into the kitchen, and barfs her lungs out into the sink.
She was simply nervous about her first time making out, and the nerves got the best of her. The sink didn't have a garbage disposal, just one of those round metal inserts that filters out the chunks. She holds that up - it's overflowing - and asks where to dump it out at.
We were done making out at that point.
(We never had sex; broke up a couple weeks later.)
That reminds me, had an ex that liked me petting her while her brother was asleep in the same room. So weird.
It's actually bragging about how he has a sweet luchador mask.
Never had anal sex before so when she asked me if I wanted to try it I was more than happy. But she wanted me to get a long double dildo from the sex shop before we would go for it. Only after getting one that was rather big she told me what exactly she wanted to do with it. She wanted to put the one end up her pussy while I was fucking her ass BUT only while the other end would go up my ass.
Now she had put her finger up my ass while blowing me before but that dildo had the size of my forearm so that was something else....
Now she had put her finger up my ass while blowing me before but that dildo had the size of my forearm so that was something else....
Yada yada yada... had anal sex with her for the first time in more than the conventional way.
Lol damn.
How About No
Member
That went in a (thankfully??) different direction than I thought it was gonna
U have da best gf
El Pescado
Member
I can't stop laughing. This is the best story in this thread.
OniBarubary
Banned
You had me til the pussy/ass dildo with your dick in her ass because I'm trying to figure out the logistics of that and I had to draw a damn diagram cause any way I read that it didn't seem like a straight shot. Like it snakes down, past your dick and under you to your ass but the dick interference covered by a height difference of pussy to ass leads me to believe it wasn't a solid curve but a kinda ball crushing awkward angle tuck.
Hold on, lemme get my protractor.
Damerman
Member
Lol, wtf. I have no idea how i would react if a girl said those things during sex. Good on you for confronting her, even if she was already off her rocker.
Darth Karja
Member
Got a bloddy nose while going down on an ex-girlfriend. Lights were off and I was wondering why it was so much wetter than normal. It was hard to breath, kept getting up my nose. I kept going though and eventually we realized what happened. My whole face was covered in blood.
Another time a different girl choked on my dick and threw up on me. Lights were off and she was really quiet when she did it so I was confused as to what was on my leg.
Another time a different girl choked on my dick and threw up on me. Lights were off and she was really quiet when she did it so I was confused as to what was on my leg.
Rushersauce
Banned
A god forsaken forum, indeed!
Shia_Labeouf
Banned
Lmao get out
Messofanego
Banned
Damn, OP. Epic stuff.
I've had some fun ones, like sex in public, lots of waterworks (read: pee) situations (it's one of my kinks,) but one that always stands out to me as the freakiest was when I was having some pretty wild, sorta rough sex with an older woman (she was in her 40s, I was 26) and at one point she was riding me while choking me. She started choking a bit harder at one point and put her face close to mine while she was going at it and said:
"Once you're inside me, you're inside me forever."
Freaked me out. Still finished tho
Another time I was fucking this girl on tour (we were both part of the tour) who was a heroin addict and really liked anal sex. So I was in the booty and pulled out at one point and she shit all over the bed. Like, emptied her bowels. We had like 6 rooms between the whole tour entourage, so we just stayed with some others that night and left the shit bed for the staff
Still feel bad about that.
I've had some fun ones, like sex in public, lots of waterworks (read: pee) situations (it's one of my kinks,) but one that always stands out to me as the freakiest was when I was having some pretty wild, sorta rough sex with an older woman (she was in her 40s, I was 26) and at one point she was riding me while choking me. She started choking a bit harder at one point and put her face close to mine while she was going at it and said:
"Once you're inside me, you're inside me forever."
Freaked me out. Still finished tho
Another time I was fucking this girl on tour (we were both part of the tour) who was a heroin addict and really liked anal sex. So I was in the booty and pulled out at one point and she shit all over the bed. Like, emptied her bowels. We had like 6 rooms between the whole tour entourage, so we just stayed with some others that night and left the shit bed for the staff
Still feel bad about that.
ElfArmy177
Member
Oh shit...
Ex wife was into bondage, pain, clamps... Cock jails... Those things are a nightmare. Had to wear it to work once cause she wouldn't give me the key. Then she sent nude photos and short videos all day while I'm working... Extremely uncomfortable to say the least.
She would send videos of herself fucking fruit... After we had our first she would squeez her tits and spray milk everywhere during sex...
She was also into getting pissed on... :/
She was wild.. and crazy.. Legit crazy...
Ex wife was into bondage, pain, clamps... Cock jails... Those things are a nightmare. Had to wear it to work once cause she wouldn't give me the key. Then she sent nude photos and short videos all day while I'm working... Extremely uncomfortable to say the least.
She would send videos of herself fucking fruit... After we had our first she would squeez her tits and spray milk everywhere during sex...
She was also into getting pissed on... :/
She was wild.. and crazy.. Legit crazy...
Actually not a GF just a sex friend. We did not really work out on a personal level but the sex was great... till this day I haven't found a woman that was so much fun in bed. Men on the other hand...
To be perfectly honest, and the reason I yada yada yada'ed the story is that it did not really work. While the dildo was very long, I guess 70 cm (27"), it constantly slipped... it also took quite some time for me to go from finger size to a dildo in my ass. But what I learned was to take your time when doing anal and made me appreciate a woman doing it even more.
MetroidPrimeRib
Banned
One time during foreplay a girl decided it would be hot to put a clothespin on my nipple. It hurt a lot, a lot a lot. Not unbearable but still shocking enough for me to go what the fuck. Now I lean pretty far into M territory but there's procedures for this Shit and special things you buy.
Another time a girl wanted to poor hot wax on me from a regular ass candle. At least she asked.
Another time a girl wanted to poor hot wax on me from a regular ass candle. At least she asked.
BKatastrophe
Member
So she liked fucking slaves or something? Was that her thing?
I need a diagram
Wow. That's uh...that's something
Still need a diagram
Goddamn that's like the perfect girl to me other than the toiletplay.
Wat? And you split up with her. You're the cray one bro!
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
Iriscomeback
Member
I said the wrong name once.
I used to have a shirt with a picture of my ex on it. A while back I found out I still had it so my wife put it on while we had sex. That was wierd.
I used to have a shirt with a picture of my ex on it. A while back I found out I still had it so my wife put it on while we had sex. That was wierd.
BrightEyedPanic
Member
.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I've been involved in the kink scene since I was 18, so I've seen some pretty crazy shit. Once, I got hit so hard on my ass that the paddle broke in half. The next week was so fucking painful. Another time, I had just gotten into using whips and ended up hitting myself in the face instead of her.
I had the opposite happen once. A girl wanted me to choke her and I didn't want to so she started slapping me and cursing me out until I gave in. She was a strange one. It was just fucking and we were clear on that. I found a girlfriend and she broke into my dorm while we were sleeping and clawed the fuck out of me. Be mindful, I told her we couldn't fuck no more before this so its not like she got surprised.
She slashed my tires and stole my license plate.
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I understood that reference.
If you look anything like your avatar then I am sure it is plenty sexy.
My ex insisted I call her by her best friend's name one time while we were fucking, because she knew I used to have a crush on her and even slept with her. That was really awkward sex.
Lactating tits are so hot though. I hooked up with this girl after she had a kid mostly because she lactated.
She was crazy and I probably shouldn't have hooked up with her, was very much worth it though.
BigBossVanzetti
Member
Queefz happen.
ElfArmy177
Member
Haha, she wasnt wife material... She also broke half the shit in my house and was fucking a guy at her work... Lol
Messofanego
Banned
How About No
Member
Solideliquid
Member
OniBarubary
Banned
Please tell me this wasn't a typo so I can have it written on my tombstone as the reason I died laughing.
Welp, there we go. I will say that that still creates problems 1. in the dildo slapping up into your balls, taint and grundle and 2. most dildos of that nature that can do that due to flexibility are really hard to keep where they're supposed to be.
Woulda just gone with two separate buttplugs. The double-ended approach kinda only helps things if you're like, focusing on that on a straight ass-to-ass/pussy sitch. Otherwise the thrusting dislodges it or does like...nothing.
Legendary.
Venus Van Dam
Neo Member
Despite the DUI and part of your attention and pair of hands being busy, I think it's pretty ok.
It's not if you don't want it to be, bae.
How About No
Member
Why it took me 2 mins to scrawl out
Save the praise for the guy who had the courage to take a tandem sex toy up his butt
captainraincoat
Banned
I was fucking this bird once who was really into body sculpting ect and was on a shitload of supplements....great body but the side effects were she got acne on her back....one doggystyle session she asks me to start popping her pimples on her back....I'm like wtf but go along with it....4 or 5 in she starts getting off on it and begs me to keep going....find a big red one on her shoulder and squeeze it....bang..hits me in the eye and cock immediately goes limp......end of sex.
Muskieratboi
Member
Was having freaky kinky gay BDSM sex with a friend. Decided to try out cock binding. He was super into it and was moaning the whole time, I was having fun... Till I noticed the blood. Apparrently I bound a little too tight and I popped a vessel in his cock! No permanent damage, and no pain, thankfully. But yeah, we ain't doing *that* again!
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