I think that seems like a rather trivial reason to break up.
From what I can tell, she's understandably concerned about the person she might raise children with acting a certain way -- basically, this absolutely stems from her childhood. I'm guessing her father was very distant and quick to anger.
Sorry to hear this, but as the others have said, this seems like a silly reason to just end it.
Not sure exactly how you were acting in the car, but no one is perfect. Everyone is awkward sometimes, or nervous, or whatever, as I'm sure you know. I'm sure she's like this sometimes, too. Does she know about the near fatal car crash or how that Afghanistan experience affected you? I feel like there's been this underlying tension throughout your entire relationship with this woman where she really likes you, but has always wished you would kind of transform into someone else, this "perfect" being.
You're socially aware, educated, and have a strong drive to improve yourself. Seems like she isn't fully recognizing and appreciating these traits, or at least, she's letting the small things that bother her have a stronger weight in her opinion of you.
I don't know the details of your relationship, just wanted to comment on what I've observed from past stories! I really hope you can work something out with her - it's obvious how much you truly care about her.
Basically, I tense up. I become visibly agitated. I want to minimize distractions, like other people talking. Post-Afghanistan, I once had a panic attack in a car during a rainstorm next to a Target parking lot; I've been fine since then. My ex-wife can attest to the fact that there were enough behavioral changes to warrant a "before" and "after." This is something that I want to work on, but I honestly don't know how, and until I can find a job, I can't reasonably avail myself of any mental health services. To be quite honest, given the number of stressors in my life, the fact that I'm as resilient as I am ought to be laudable.
I was tired when I saw it and guess I misread it. My apologies. I feel really bad about posting that.
Sorry, Advocatus. Please forgive me for the stupidity.
I'm sorry you guys ended up breaking up. That's too bad. It seemed like you had a good thing going. Best of luck going forward. You seem like a truly great guy, and hopefully you'll find the person/happiness you deserve in the near future.
No one deserves happiness. It's something that we have to create in our own lives, and as I'm hoping my posts illustrate, trying to build a life together with someone is unmistakably complex: there are so many moving pieces, necessary compromises, and the need to admit small faults.
But totally this. I give the breakup 2 days, tops.
Well, it'll be longer than that: she said that she doesn't want to be without me, but she wants to get back together after her next exam (think "bar exam for architects," only they have something like 8 of them). So, it'll be a week or so. Clearly she's under added pressure too, and I don't want to make her life overly complicated. We're two people that love each other. But it's not easy. (She said I could see other people until then, which struck me as odd; she knows I wouldn't do that, and I told her as much.)
But yeah, you were right. I just realize that this
is a cause for concern, and I wish I knew how to help mitigate it. I do have anxious tells. I honestly wonder how other people see me.
Okay guys, I met a woman on POF. We exchanged messages on there for a couple of days, then exchanged numbers. She works overnight, so we usually text until I fall asleep while she is working and I am at home. So we decided to meet in person this week. Now we have talked on the phone, texted alot so we are pretty comfortable with each other. She did say she was comfortable with meeting at my house and then going out or just hanging out with at my crib. I BBQ'd a ton of food yesterday and she wanted to try some.
I am now thinking how weird it is for a woman to be fine with meeting at a guy's house these days. 'Isn't she worried"' has turned into 'Should I be worried?' quickly. We will see how it goes. If she is legit and all that, this could be a long term relationship.
You haven't met her. You have no idea if you'll click. Even thinking "this could be an
any-term relationship" is wrong. It is weird that she's meeting at your house, but not weird enough that it's a dealbreaker. You have no idea if you'll be comfortable with her in person. All you know is that you text well, which is great if you're into using your cell phone to navigate your personal life.
In other words, check your expectations and enjoy yourself.
You are a cool person so it'll be easy.
