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[Doug Heffernan]

How big was it?

lmaooo

 

[FunkyPajamas]

Given you have "Meat" in your username, maybe it's more normalized from your perspective, but for most couples private pictures of another man's sausage are at least a no-no and worth a serious conversation.

This is so random I don't even know what to say.

 

[BamfMeat]

Can you explain to me how it isn't cheating if, according to the OP, it wasn't just dick pics. It was full on sexual conversation with her commenting on the pics in a sexual manner.

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

Bullshit, flirty text convos combined with dick picks is the immediate step before her physically cheating.

Given you have "Meat" in your username, maybe it's more normalized from your perspective, but for most couples private pictures of another man's sausage are at least a no-no and worth a serious conversation.

Oh is it?

Yes, I have meat in my name. It was from a random name generator, but hey, I'm good with equating meat with penis.

 

[Bit-Bit]

Don't say anything. Just pack up and leave. Cut all communications, fuck her.

 

[Cabbagehead]

As a non-poly, the monogamist view of relationships is a colossal point of view that is pushed down our throats since ever. That some people in this thread find such discomfort in radical different ways of seeing sexuality, is a great showcase how conservative many people are. You can disagree with the advice, but there's no need to shamefully mock it.

No one asked about how non poly works or its perspective. Its does not apply in this scenario. Also most actually prefer the one for one. Because god knows adding more people into the mix is more trouble then anyone needs, on many different levels.

 

[Hoo-doo]

Heh. It's been years and honestly I spent a long time trying to forget so some of the details are a bit fuzzy. But this thread has me feeling sympathetic so here we go.

Upon waking up one day I went to check my email only to find my GFs gmail account open. She was still asleep and had been up super late so the inbox was still open. The first thing I saw was "I miss you too" from some dude she grew up with. That would never have rang alarm bells and I would have closed the tab; however, I recognized the name as a dude who she described as an asshole who always made her feel like shit for not dating him. "That's strange" I said to myself as I clicked the email. That email was a reply to her email which said something like...

"I miss you and I wish I was sleeping next to you tonight."

Sudden nausea and sadness consumed me. I woke her up, she cried and explained that she missed home and nothing would ever happen because he is so far away. A lengthy conversation ensued about my future suspicions every time she visited home, asking her why she lied about the nature of her relationship with him and why she always characterized him as an asshole. She reassured me that she loved me and she will make sure I know this won't happen again.

Things took time to get better but a few months later they were good again. My trust in her was damaged, but it was healing. Then one night she said a friend of hers knew a guy who was moving here and he wanted to go out. Her friend was working that night so asked my GF to take him out for a drink or two. My GF said she to call her when I got off work and I could join them. I call she doesn't answer. I go to bed.

I look at my phone in the morning. No missed calls. I call again, no answer. She finally calls back around 7pm and tells me what a good time they had and they drank and danced until the bars closed. I'm thinking, that's a little fucked up but just said "I would have liked to join you, why didn't you call?"

"Idk we were just having a really good time."

She broke up with me that night. After 4 years.

I was really good to her, showed her affection, helped her through school, helped her through some really hard financial and family issues.

I was shocked, depressed and handled the breakup super poorly. That was on me, though.

Sorry for the novel.

That's rough dude, but thanks for sharing. Glad to hear you overcame that shit.

 

[ant_]

Heh. It's been years and honestly I spent a long time trying to forget so some of the details are a bit fuzzy. But this thread has me feeling sympathetic so here we go.

Upon waking up one day I went to check my email only to find my GFs gmail account open. She was still asleep and had been up super late so the inbox was still open. The first thing I saw was "I miss you too" from some dude she grew up with. That would never have rang alarm bells and I would have closed the tab; however, I recognized the name as a dude who she described as an asshole who always made her feel like shit for not dating him. "That's strange" I said to myself as I clicked the email. That email was a reply to her email which said something like...

"I miss you and I wish I was sleeping next to you tonight."

Sudden nausea and sadness consumed me. I woke her up, she cried and explained that she missed home and nothing would ever happen because he is so far away. A lengthy conversation ensued about my future suspicions every time she visited home, asking her why she lied about the nature of her relationship with him and why she always characterized him as an asshole. She reassured me that she loved me and she will make sure I know this won't happen again.

Things took time to get better but a few months later they were good again. My trust in her was damaged, but it was healing. Then one night she said a friend of hers knew a guy who was moving here and he wanted to go out. Her friend was working that night so asked my GF to take him out for a drink or two. My GF said she to call her when I got off work and I could join them. I call she doesn't answer. I go to bed.

I look at my phone in the morning. No missed calls. I call again, no answer. She finally calls back around 7pm and tells me what a good time they had and they drank and danced until the bars closed. I'm thinking, that's a little fucked up but just said "I would have liked to join you, why didn't you call?"

"Idk we were just having a really good time."

She broke up with me that night. After 4 years.

I was really good to her, showed her affection, helped her through school, helped her through some really hard financial and family issues.

I was shocked, depressed and handled the breakup super poorly. That was on me, though.

Sorry for the novel.

Thanks for sharing man. Sounds like in the long run you were able to handle it and find better options in life.

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

Break up.

Hit the gym.

This.
There are plenty of Pokemon out there.
Seriously though, it's her fault more than his.
She did you a favor and basically vetted herself.

 

[Lashley]

Heh. It's been years and honestly I spent a long time trying to forget so some of the details are a bit fuzzy. But this thread has me feeling sympathetic so here we go.

Upon waking up one day I went to check my email only to find my GFs gmail account open. She was still asleep and had been up super late so the inbox was still open. The first thing I saw was "I miss you too" from some dude she grew up with. That would never have rang alarm bells and I would have closed the tab; however, I recognized the name as a dude who she described as an asshole who always made her feel like shit for not dating him. "That's strange" I said to myself as I clicked the email. That email was a reply to her email which said something like...

"I miss you and I wish I was sleeping next to you tonight."

Sudden nausea and sadness consumed me. I woke her up, she cried and explained that she missed home and nothing would ever happen because he is so far away. A lengthy conversation ensued about my future suspicions every time she visited home, asking her why she lied about the nature of her relationship with him and why she always characterized him as an asshole. She reassured me that she loved me and she will make sure I know this won't happen again.

Things took time to get better but a few months later they were good again. My trust in her was damaged, but it was healing. Then one night she said a friend of hers knew a guy who was moving here and he wanted to go out. Her friend was working that night so asked my GF to take him out for a drink or two. My GF said to call her when I got off work and I could join them. I call she doesn't answer. I go to bed.

I look at my phone in the morning. No missed calls. I call again, no answer. She finally calls back around 7pm and tells me what a good time they had and they drank and danced until the bars closed. I'm thinking, that's a little fucked up but just said "I would have liked to join you, why didn't you call?"

"Idk we were just having a really good time."

She broke up with me that night. After 4 years.

I was really good to her, showed her affection, helped her through school, helped her through some really hard financial and family issues.

I was shocked, depressed and handled the breakup super poorly. That was on me, though.

Sorry for the novel.

You'll already know this yourself, but you're well rid

This is always my fear when I start a new relationship

 

[blame space]

this is all steve jobs' fault

 

[ChaosZeroX]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

Essentially, what your saying that a conversation between's OP's girlfriend and dick pic guy where she says what she wants to do to said dick is not cheating?

Are you fucking kidding?

 

[SomTervo]

Heh. It's been years and honestly I spent a long time trying to forget so some of the details are a bit fuzzy. But this thread has me feeling sympathetic so here we go.

Upon waking up one day I went to check my email only to find my GFs gmail account open. She was still asleep and had been up super late so the inbox was still open. The first thing I saw was "I miss you too" from some dude she grew up with. That would never have rang alarm bells and I would have closed the tab; however, I recognized the name as a dude who she described as an asshole who always made her feel like shit for not dating him. "That's strange" I said to myself as I clicked the email. That email was a reply to her email which said something like...

"I miss you and I wish I was sleeping next to you tonight."

Sudden nausea and sadness consumed me. I woke her up, she cried and explained that she missed home and nothing would ever happen because he is so far away. A lengthy conversation ensued about my future suspicions every time she visited home, asking her why she lied about the nature of her relationship with him and why she always characterized him as an asshole. She reassured me that she loved me and she will make sure I know this won't happen again.

Things took time to get better but a few months later they were good again. My trust in her was damaged, but it was healing. Then one night she said a friend of hers knew a guy who was moving here and he wanted to go out. Her friend was working that night so asked my GF to take him out for a drink or two. My GF said to call her when I got off work and I could join them. I call she doesn't answer. I go to bed.

I look at my phone in the morning. No missed calls. I call again, no answer. She finally calls back around 7pm and tells me what a good time they had and they drank and danced until the bars closed. I'm thinking, that's a little fucked up but just said "I would have liked to join you, why didn't you call?"

"Idk we were just having a really good time."

She broke up with me that night. After 4 years.

I was really good to her, showed her affection, helped her through school, helped her through some really hard financial and family issues.

I was shocked, depressed and handled the breakup super poorly. That was on me, though.

Sorry for the novel.

You did everything right here. Thanks for sharing, pal.

 

[nortonff]

It's hard how relationships can be the best and the worst part of out lives.
I broke up with my gf after 8+ years a few months back and it still sucks.

 

[Grym]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

I mean it is fine to argue the semantics of "cheating". But whether it is a monogamous or poly relationship, if a set history of trust is intentionally broken (physically, emotionally, or however else), it is very difficult to ever rebuild that. I see no point in continuing a relationship without there being any semblance of trust.

 

[Hoo-doo]

This thread is like a big GAF therapy sesh right here.

Let's hug it out, bros.

 

[MUnited83]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.



Oh is it?

Yes, I have meat in my name. It was from a random name generator, but hey, I'm good with equating meat with penis.

Well, it is cheating if it went out of the boundaries they defined for their relationship. This doesnt mean that it's cheating for everyone, each relationship has its boundaries.

 

[johnny956]

Essentially, what your saying that a conversation between's OP's girlfriend and dick pic guy where she says what she wants to do to said dick is not cheating?

Are you fucking kidding?

Seriously, sexting isn't cheating? Good lord

 

[kmax]

Heh. It's been years and honestly I spent a long time trying to forget so some of the details are a bit fuzzy. But this thread has me feeling sympathetic so here we go.

Upon waking up one day I went to check my email only to find my GFs gmail account open. She was still asleep and had been up super late so the inbox was still open. The first thing I saw was "I miss you too" from some dude she grew up with. That would never have rang alarm bells and I would have closed the tab; however, I recognized the name as a dude who she described as an asshole who always made her feel like shit for not dating him. "That's strange" I said to myself as I clicked the email. That email was a reply to her email which said something like...

"I miss you and I wish I was sleeping next to you tonight."

Sudden nausea and sadness consumed me. I woke her up, she cried and explained that she missed home and nothing would ever happen because he is so far away. A lengthy conversation ensued about my future suspicions every time she visited home, asking her why she lied about the nature of her relationship with him and why she always characterized him as an asshole. She reassured me that she loved me and she will make sure I know this won't happen again.

Things took time to get better but a few months later they were good again. My trust in her was damaged, but it was healing. Then one night she said a friend of hers knew a guy who was moving here and he wanted to go out. Her friend was working that night so asked my GF to take him out for a drink or two. My GF said she to call her when I got off work and I could join them. I call she doesn't answer. I go to bed.

I look at my phone in the morning. No missed calls. I call again, no answer. She finally calls back around 7pm and tells me what a good time they had and they drank and danced until the bars closed. I'm thinking, that's a little fucked up but just said "I would have liked to join you, why didn't you call?"

"Idk we were just having a really good time."

She broke up with me that night. After 4 years.

I was really good to her, showed her affection, helped her through school, helped her through some really hard financial and family issues.

I was shocked, depressed and handled the breakup super poorly. That was on me, though.

Sorry for the novel.

Damn. Sorry to hear that man. At least you learned from this experience and won't repeat the mistake if it ever were to occur again. Staying around cheaters is almost never worth it.

Being cheated on is such a despicable act of betrayal.

 

[True Savior]

All relationships - poly and monogamous - are built on trust and open communication. In no relationship should trust be breached. The OP had his trust broken.

It's not an argument of whether or not monogamy is doable, it's a discussion on breaking your partners trust.

I know nothing about their relationship, outside a few posts of the OP about one side of it. That's why many, including me, advised him to talk to her about it. People are just giving their perspective about the situation and how they would react.

 

[Mikeside]

Fucks sake Mike I saw him first I need friends more than u, you have a fiance now

No u




You should come too, mate. Been too long, as usual

 

[rambis]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.



Oh is it?

Yes, I have meat in my name. It was from a random name generator, but hey, I'm good with equating meat with penis.

Does this even matter? "Oh she texted him about how much she wants to fuck him but she hasnt had the chance yet so I cant really say she cheated yet."

Fuck that shit.

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.



Oh is it?

.

You're out of your mind.
The trust is gone.
It's basically the same thing.

 

[jfoul]

Pack up and leave before she gets home. Leave the iPad out in the open with a dickbutt sticky note pressed on the screen.

 

[Cabbagehead]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.



Oh is it?

Yes, I have meat in my name. It was from a random name generator, but hey, I'm good with equating meat with penis.

You'd be cool with it... most would not. There shouldn't even be a conversation to be had about rather or not it's cheating or not. Its the first step in a long shitty road if it goes unchecked.

 

[Frozenprince]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

No it doesn't. Just because it doesn't for you doesn't change that to the majority of people, it absolutely constitutes a violation of emotional intimacy, the entire core of a romantic relationship.

Just because you and your husband are cool with getting other guys interested and getting dick pics (I really hope you tell thse guys up front that you're married and have no interest in a relationship with them) doesn't mean that's normal.

 

[BamfMeat]

Essentially, what your saying that a conversation between's OP's girlfriend and dick pic guy where she says what she wants to do to said dick is not cheating?

Are you fucking kidding?

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.

If she was talking to him all day long but he lived in another country and had no actual plans to ride the bologna pony, there was no cheating there. Period. Again - inappropriate? YES - Painfully inappropriate. But it hasn't reached the level of cheating... Yet.

I mean it is fine to argue the semantics of "cheating". But whether it is a monogamous or poly relationship, if a set history of trust is intentionally broken (physically, emotionally, or however else), it is very difficult to ever rebuild that. I see no point in continuing a relationship without there being any semblance of trust.

This is very very true. Even if she didn't cheat, she broke his trust, irreparably.

 

[ant_]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

It's cheating.

 

[AxelFoley]

OP, if you drive a white Bronco, I'll be your Al Cowlings.




Nah, seriously do like everyone else said and confront her later tonight.

 

[FunkyPajamas]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

The conversation showed intent according to OP's description of events. Yes, it's still a conversation and yes, it's inappropriate for someone on a monogamous relationship. It doesn't stop there because it's not harmless flirting. This was going somewhere. It's not on OP's best interest to wait to see how things develop.

I mean, I'm all for OP talking to her and determining what he wants to do based on his feelings, her reaction and their history together, but just to brush it off as "inappropriate" and not cheating? I don't think it's fair.

 

[Moppet13]

OP has already said that she offered to eat the booty

Looks like I missed a big detail in this thread

 

[Mikeside]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.



Oh is it?

Yes, I have meat in my name. It was from a random name generator, but hey, I'm good with equating meat with penis.

Cheating is anything that is outside of the agreed terms of the relationship.
I mean, it's not usual to actually discuss those terms to be fair, but by 4 years in it'd be very strange for one person to not understand what their partner would consider cheating.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

This is the usual GAF semantics game over boundaries.

Everyone has different boundaries, and everyone in a relationship with someone else knows them. That's why these conversations were her secret. She knew they broke boundaries. "Cheating" or not, it's a loss of trust that breaks the unofficial social contract in any relationship.

 

[Reeks]

This is not the thread for this. OP is/was not in a poly relationship. Shut it down.

Nao isn't talking about poly relationships (at least in that comment). He's talking about communicating through problems before moving on. Plenty of monogamous people make it through cheating, but only if there's a series of very real conversations and a hard look at both your partner and yourself. And even if things can't be fixed, giving any relationship care and effort makes you a better partner for future relationships, even if you have been wronged. When my ex cheated, I packed up and left immediately. I thought it was a nice "fuck you" to have my stuff packed before he got home. I felt angry and entitled, neither of these things made me a better person. I would handle things very different now. It's not about the other person, it's about giving yourself proper closure, because you deserve it.

 

[AxelFoley]

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.



Oh is it?

Yes, I have meat in my name. It was from a random name generator, but hey, I'm good with equating meat with penis.

You know nothing, BamfMeat.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.

If she was talking to him all day long but he lived in another country and had no actual plans to ride the bologna pony, there was no cheating there. Period. Again - inappropriate? YES - Painfully inappropriate. But it hasn't reached the level of cheating... Yet.

Stop being pedantic. It's a giant violation of trust and destroys the foundation of the relationship just the same as fucking. Stop acting like you do not comprehend this.

 

[Clockwork5]

Thanks for all the support, everyone. It's been a long time since I told that story.

 

[Otnopolit]

Thoughts go out for you, OP. This is one of those rare suspense threads I DON'T want to see deliver. I hope the best of outcomes for you.

 

[Escape Goat]

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.

If she was talking to him all day long but he lived in another country and had no actual plans to ride the bologna pony, there was no cheating there. Period. Again - inappropriate? YES - Painfully inappropriate. But it hasn't reached the level of cheating... Yet.

Its emotional infidelity. That seems to be the heart of the matter.

 

[Frozenprince]

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.

If she was talking to him all day long but he lived in another country and had no actual plans to ride the bologna pony, there was no cheating there. Period. Again - inappropriate? YES - Painfully inappropriate. But it hasn't reached the level of cheating... Yet.

Inappropriate? It's a breach of emotional intimacy. That's well beyond the realm of inappropriate.

This is adultery, just because websters hasn't updated for the fact that you can send a penis in .0002 seconds to somebody now doesn't remove that.

Again, you and your husband are not typical. Pretending that you are isn't going to help this guy feel better about himself. He's already said, repeatedly, that this violated their relationship.

 

[BamfMeat]

This is the usual GAF semantics game over boundaries.

Everyone has different boundaries, and everyone in a relationship with someone else knows them. That's why these conversations were her secret. She knew they broke boundaries. "Cheating" or not, it's a loss of trust that breaks the unofficial social contract in any relationship.

Agreed and you're right. Regardless of her intent, this went outside of the boundries that OP had set for the relationship. It was wrong and he is completely validated in being as upset as he is.

 

[diablos991]

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.

If she was talking to him all day long but he lived in another country and had no actual plans to ride the bologna pony, there was no cheating there. Period. Again - inappropriate? YES - Painfully inappropriate. But it hasn't reached the level of cheating... Yet.



This is very very true. Even if she didn't cheat, she broke his trust, irreparably.

It's cheating.
Arguing over the technical definition of the word sounds like a justification one would hear after confronting the cheater.

 

[Alavard]

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.
.

For adultery to be considered adultery, it has to involve a married couple. So if you definition of cheating is adultery, your definition says cheating cannot happen when the couple isn't married. Basically, you're wrong.

Cheating is whatever the couple decides is cheating.

 

[Mikeside]

Stop being pedantic. It's a giant violation of trust and destroys the foundation of the relationship just the same as fucking. Stop acting like you do not comprehend this.

In a lot of ways it's worse than just fucking some dude because there's premeditation there.

It's not just a spur of the moment drunk mistake, which is bad enough.
She's met somebody, traded details and is discussing and flirting. Dickpics and all. It's so much worse imo

 

[ChaosZeroX]

No. I'm not kidding. Yes, it's not cheating. That's correct and factual. I'm not going to go into the fucking meaning of the word adultery, but for adultery to be considered adultery, physical contact has to happen. Period.

If she was talking to him all day long but he lived in another country and had no actual plans to ride the bologna pony, there was no cheating there. Period. Again - inappropriate? YES - Painfully inappropriate. But it hasn't reached the level of cheating... Yet.



This is very very true. Even if she didn't cheat, she broke his trust, irreparably.

Adultery is physical, but shes still cheating on him regardless in my opinion.

 

[creatchee]

Looks like I missed a big detail in this thread

We call that "eating the cone" in these parts (GAF).

 

[Lambtron]

Best post in a thread full of really lousy posts.

I 100% agree.

My personal opinion doesn't matter, since it wasn't me. If OP wants to end the relationship over this, fine, but do it like an adult. It's better for you, and even if she did something disrespectful, you were together for four years. She deserves closure, too.

 

[keltickennedy]

How big was it?

Big enough that she needed the ipad instead of the phone.

 

[David H Wong]

Trust isn't like a glass vase where once it's broken it's just shattered forever and ever. Adults work through shit, everybody's got secrets and everybody fucks up. If the OP thinks the relationship is worth saving, they can try to work through it, find out why she's out there trolling for dick pics.

All those "DUMP HER!!!!" posts, I'm wondering if those are from people who've never actually been in long-term relationships before and are just projecting their frustration. People aren't perfect and people have different boundaries - lots of girls consider porn to be cheating, for example. You work it out.

 

[nortonff]

- Hey babe, what u doing?
- Sexting with some guy...he's dick is huge! Check it out!
- Oh ok, I'm going to sleep
- Alright, I'll just talk to him some more and join you. Love u!
- Love u too babe.

Yeah, really normal, not cheating, live happy GAF!

 

[.JayZii]

Definitely talk about it, but be ready to move on. Having the conversation will at least bring some emotional catharsis and a definitive ending, if it comes to that. You both may also learn a bit about yourselves as well.

Jesus christ people - cheating requires physical contact. Conversations are not cheating. Are they appropriate? No. They're not. And OP has every right to be angry. But let's separate actual cheating with what happened. This could have potentially led to cheating, but an inappropriate conversation is still a conversation. It's not cheating.

The fact that you seem unable to understand how people would consider this cheating and are using this thread as a platform to argue the semantics of the word "cheating" itself comes across as really tone deaf. Just stop.

Your definition of cheating requires physical intercourse, but not everyone else's definition does. Some people find emotional deception far worse. Just imagine the OP was a person who came up and told you this story in the real world, would you lecture him on how his girlfriend technically didn't cheat on him? Come on.