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[redmetal86]

Well, if Bruce Wayne is measuring Dick Grayson for a Robin costume, that would be him measuring his own Dick, right? Doesn't seem to be anything gay about that.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

You have to find a guy with a perfect 12 incher and measure your dick against his. Make sure you rub dickheads a little bit so you can be fully hard. Then place your hard cock right next to his hard cock, and squeeze them together so you can get an accurate measurement.

It's absolutely not gay OP I used to do it all the time

 

[bjork]

You have to find a guy with a perfect 12 incher and measure your dick against his. Make sure you rub dickheads a little bit so you can be fully hard. Then place your hard cock right next to his hard cock, and squeeze them together so you can get an accurate measurement.

It's absolutely not gay OP I used to do it all the time

It helps if you take your hand and make the peepee holes make out a little

 

[kitchenmotors]

That's probably the stupidest thing I have read on Gaf. What does being gay has anything to do with your dick measuring contest? If it's a group of men doing it and enjoying it, then maybe it's a little gay. But men regardless of their sexual orientation will measure their dick size at some point.

This, so much.

This thread makes my head hurt. First time I've ever heard anyone say that measuring your cock is gay.

It's not a good thing

sadly penis reduction isn't a thing

Are you gay or straight?

 

[SaganIsGOAT]

if you aint gettin at least one finger up in your booty hole when showering you aint cleaning right

 

[jroc74]

What the fuck is going on here

Lmao!!! Glad I'm not the only one who read that and was like....WHAT....

 

[SliceSabre]

It's not a good thing

sadly penis reduction isn't a thing

I understand your pain.

 

[Tomat]

if you aint gettin at least one finger up in your booty hole when showering you aint cleaning right

I think that would need it's own thread. We should probably stay on the topic at hand here.

 

[L Thammy]

I basically never visit OT, but I had to come here because
what

 

[xxracerxx]

Would be better with rainbow coloring at the bottom.

 

[DNAbro]

I basically never visit OT, but I had to come here because
what

lol same

thanks for the laugh op

 

[Anura]

Yup, 100% gay! No way you could be straight after doing that.

 

[Arthr2ShdsJcksn]

Mine is curved though, a ruler isn't telling the whole story, OP.

Curved penises are the entire reason why calculus was invented. Math-GAF should be able to help out, or, barring that, take some courses at Khan Academy in order to increase the accuracy of your measurements.

 

[davepoobond]

Are you only supposed to measure the shaft or do you include the head and your balls i really need to know I'm having trouble

 

[marrec]

Are you only supposed to measure the shaft or do you include the head and your balls i really need to know I'm having trouble

I measure from the tip of my dick to the center of my asshole.

 

[Septimius]

Please tell me that was measured from his asscrack or something. Because that must have hurt like hell ...

Exactly. It was not pleasant. This overemphasis on size has us envying someone who's got such a big dick he can't fuck like a normal person. The fuck is our problem?

 

[Arthr2ShdsJcksn]

Are you only supposed to measure the shaft or do you include the head and your balls i really need to know I'm having trouble

You take a tailor's measuring tape and fasten it with the zero end to a pencil. Stick that pencil into your anus, about two inches deep should suffice, and hold it there with one hand. With the other hand, pull the tape forward and parallel to your penis. Lay both flat on your hand, side by side, take the measurement to the nearest 8th of an inch beyond the tip.

I personally measure twice daily (mornings and nights can be quite different!) and chart the results in an excel spreadsheet, but am working on a custom MVC application where I'd need to migrate that data into a SQL Server database.

 

[TheOctodad]

Guess I need to come out to my wife ...

Also semi-relevant discussion:

Mean Jerk Time: [url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx3wDTzqDTs[/URL]

 

[Messofanego]

This is you isn't it?

Haha love me some Tim and Eric

 

[davepoobond]

You take a tailor's measuring tape and fasten it with the zero end to a pencil. Stick that pencil into your anus, about two inches deep should suffice, and hold it there with one hand. With the other hand, pull the tape forward and parallel to your penis. Lay both flat on your hand, side by side, take the measurement to the nearest 8th of an inch beyond the tip.

I personally measure twice daily (mornings and nights can be quite different!) and chart the results in an excel spreadsheet, but am working on a custom MVC application where I'd need to migrate that data into a SQL Server database.

What do you do for data recovery if the server goes down for 5 minutes I need to know all of the data all of the time can't wait for it to come back up

 

[LowlySmokeGuy]

I'm curious what bunch of people OP knows where dick measuring and asshole cleaning are considered gay.

 

[PSqueak]

I think wondering about the exact measurement of your dick is weird, but definitely not gay, but's also weird that you think getting familiar with your own dick might be gay.

I mean, it's your dick, personally i don't even think sucking your own dick would be considered gay. It's your body, not someone else's.

 

[Kaako]

Yes this is a known fact. IF you measure your own dick, you will become the gay.

 

[Audioboxer]

How many pages left until modbot comes in here and goes "fun is over"?

 

[IdreamofHIME]

No way. Just because I use the "does it touch the back of a man's throat" scale doesn't mean I'm gay.

 

[Izuna]

Are you gay or straight?

Straight.

 

[SilentRob]

I just make sure to never, ever touch it in fear of liking it too much. Only way to be sure.

 

[Arthr2ShdsJcksn]

What do you do for data recovery if the server goes down for 5 minutes I need to know all of the data all of the time can't wait for it to come back up

Redundant application servers and databases in Azure. Also looking into Amazon AWS, and storing redundant hard drives filled with data on each continent. The International Space station has declined my request to store additional backups there. This isn't like banking or health information that doesn't matter. We're talking about cock size here.

 

[SliceSabre]

No way. Just because I use the "does it touch the back of a man's throat" scale doesn't mean I'm gay.

While this is the most fun method it lacks greatly because that doesn't tell me how long it is and things get messy after a while.

 

[Zakalwe]

It's not a good thing

sadly penis reduction isn't a thing

I'm the same size and it's absolutely fine. What problems are you having?

Spoiler

Does this count as a stealth brag?

 

[Cooter]

Oh lord. Really Dayumm? lol This is why GAF will always be entertaining. Oh and, yes really gay. Better start going to pride and being attracted to men. Don't fight it. Be you man.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Wouldn't you need to to get a proper measurement. Or is the standard dick measurment only limp?

I've always avoided it so as to not be gay so I only know that I'm nine inches flaccid

 

[Woetyler]

 

[HiiiLife]

Spoiler

dicks out for harambe

 

[SliceSabre]

I'm the same size and it's absolutely fine. What problems are you having?

Spoiler

Does this count as a stealth brag?

Yes.

Spoiler

I did it too so you're ok.

 

[Eusis]

Indeed. If the thought of your own dick makes you question your sexuality then you might as well come on out of that closet. Nothing wrong with it, man. Just be who you are.

I think most people get aroused thinking of their own genitals bringing them pleasure though just because of mental association. It's how you want to pleasure yourself that makes you gay or not.

 

[GrizzleBoy]

Is

It

Gay

The evidence here is pretty damning!

 

[Mistel]

you buy a house or car you check every nook and cranny, the conditions, the defects, the things that need work. You check mileage, age, fluid level, location, and the taxes you will have to pay. So why do some people have the aversion to know the most basic of their bodily measures, when the body is our most important property?

Property surveys confirmed as important as dick measuring?

 

[lewisgone]

I actually teared up trying not to laugh on the bus when I read the title

 

[InfiniteBento]

 

[vikki]

What about the toilet paper roll test?

I can't get my can of coke in the koozie.

Gaf problems.

 

[RionaaM]

99% of guys giving OP crap are the same guys who feel dirty while washing their own penis.

Yes, I'm talking to YOU!

True, but then again I feel dirty about washing my feet too

"Is measuring you own dick gay?" doesn't merit clarification. It's completely syntactically unambiguous. The sentence is interrogative (turning the word order into Verb-Subject-Object); "Is" can only be interpreted as the finite verb. The only thing that can follow is the subject of the sentence, so "measuring" must be a gerund (it couldn't function as a subject if it were a continuous verb form). As both "your" and "own" are determiners that must be followed by either a noun or another determiner, "your own dick" can only be interpreted as a single unit, and its place in the sentence makes it clear that it is the object of "measuring". Which leaves "gay" as the predicative nominal. It's a single-clause sentence, no commas needed. A syntactician could probably explain this a bit more clearly.

I finally understood the reason for my language classes in primary and high school. It was all for the purpose of arguing about dick sizes and sexual insecurities on the internet.

 

[Dongs Macabre]

when i pee i just let it hang and spray

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

It isn't gay, but you may come to regret it.

 

[GrizzleBoy]

I belly laughed.

 

[thecouncil]

I put it there to make sure people understood I'm using "gay" as and adverb to "measuring" than as and adjective to "dick". Otherwise trolls would be like "gay dicks, huehuehue"

When a sentence is not working out as you want it to, you rewrite it:

"Is it gay to measure your own dick?"

and, no, I can't believe I just wrote that.
and, no, your question makes no sense in the thread title or rewritten in correct english.

 

[tkscz]

What a random title change.

 

[L Thammy]

Is OP's tag new or does it just match the thread really well?

 

[Sai-kun]

Tragic 😩

 

[How About No]

It's not a good thing

sadly penis reduction isn't a thing

I understand your pain.

I don't think he's the one in pain HEYOO

I think wondering about the exact measurement of your dick is weird, but definitely not gay, but's also weird that you think getting familiar with your own dick might be gay.

I mean, it's your dick, personally i don't even think sucking your own dick would be considered gay. It's your body, not someone else's.

Also totally not gay to watch a man suck his dick cuz that's just an amazing feat that must be seen by everyone

Spoiler

or can put your thingy up your own bum