Transformers: The Last Knight review thread

S

SilentRob

Member
jett said:
Finally, a perfect description of Bay's idea of comedy.
Click to expand...

There's a skinny nerd in this who will yell at you that he is, in fact, a skinny nerd in EVERY.FUCKING.SCENE he is in.

"MARK WAHLBERG, WHY DID YOU HIRE ME, I'M A SKINNY NERD, THAT'S A T-REX!"
*cut to Wahlberg, somewhere entirely else*
"SDJANSDSSHOUTINGSOMETHINGBUMBLEBEE"

"MARK, THIS RUNNING IS INDEED VERY TIRING AS I'M A SKINNY NERD AND THOSE ROBOTS ARE NOT SKINNY NERDS BUT ROBOTS"
*cut to random closeup of a girl screaming with no relation to any of the events, cut back to Walberg*
"HNNNGGASASDSDBUDWEISEOPTIMUS!"

"MR WAHLBERG I FEEL UNPREPARED FOR THIS SITUATION AS MY SKINNY NERDNESS DOES NOT EQUATE TO THE SCARY TRANSFORMERNESS OF THE ROBOTS I'M RUNNING AWAY FROM"
*cut to racist Transformer*
I'M GONNA GO CRAZY ON THIS BITCH
*Racist Transformers with no rleation to this scene shoots small bug transformer, cut to Wahlberg, sitting on a roof*
"ADAISJDAWDLAJDALSJDILIFREEDOMURICAASKDLA"
 
Z

Z3M0G

Member
Thatonemoor said:
Dude you aren't this dense. They both have big ears and buck teeth. One of them has a god tooth for crying out loud. And the way they speak is sterotypical "THAT'S HOW BLACK PEOPLE SPEAK" Hell back when I was in high school when this movie can out I knew people that said "They are funny cause they are the black robots". And them not being able to read is just fucking offensive to my race.
Click to expand...
Huh... i remember them as more like:

cletus.png


Perhaps we tend to project ourselves onto things some times... and dont see racial steriotypes.
 
J

J_Viper

Member
There's nothing else in theaters my brother and I haven't seen, and we wanna watch something before he leaves.

So I guess we're going to watch this...

Oh well, I'm going in knowing it can't be worse than TF3.

It just can't be

right?

Dash_Riprock said:
That's been true for most of the series.
Click to expand...

This is truth
 
T

Timu

Member
SilentRob said:
It's probably the worst one and just as incomprehensible as Revenge of the Fallen. Also: Not that much action, weirdly - until the last third. The first 1 1/2 hours consist of the most terrible, convoluted, badly edited, played and scripted shite I have seen in quite some time. It's on the level of a clip show, seriously. Just, people CONSTANTLY screaming meaningless oneliners at each other with the movie cutting to the next scene the VERY SECOND the last word has been said only for someone else to IMMEDIATELY start screaming again. It's so, so, so fucking bad. One second Mark Wahlberg stands in one place, screaming, the next frame he walks somewhere else, screaming, with no explanation whatsoever what happened in between frames. This happens constantly. It's fucking incomprehensible. I have NO idea what happened in this movie. THere's Merlin and Nazis and an evil task force that is also good and Wahlberg who is also a legendary knight or some shit and some old character in cuba has 3 scenes and everybody is constantly shouting and the camera keeps spinning and no two scenes have any real relation to each other, stuff just happens and at one point I'm pretty sure the Robo-T-Rex just randomly jumps up out of the earth, breaking through the street with no one acknowledging that? And Bumblebee is invincible now? Man, I don't know. The last action scene is really cool. You should watch that on Youtube in a few months. Everything else just...makes you tired and mad. Also Optimus Prime is in this movie for about 10 minutes and his whole betrayal arc is the most offensive trailer bait bullshit I have ever seen.

And I even kinda liked Age of Extinction! This is coming from soneone who enjoyed that trainwreck!
Click to expand...
He somehow managed to make a worse Transformers movie than Revenge of the Fallen??? That's unreal!!!
 
D

dankir

Member
Timu said:
He somehow managed to make a worse Transformers movie than Revenge of the Fallen??? That's unreal!!!
Click to expand...

Remember RoTF was written during the writer's strike. So they were basically making it up as they go.

THIS HAS ACTUAL FUCKING WRITERS.


Can somebody pleas tell me if there's a site that shows how much screentime the Transformers actual get in this piece of shit series.

We basically have what 10 - 11 hours of TF films, I'd be surprised if the bots have even 45 minutes of screen time.
 
F

Frozenprince

Banned
dankir said:
Remember RoTF was written during the writer's strike. So they were basically making it up as they go.

THIS HAS ACTUAL FUCKING WRITERS.


Can somebody pleas tell me if there's a site that shows how much screentime the Transformers actual get in this piece of shit series.

We basically have what 10 - 11 hours of TF films, I'd be surprised if the bots have even 45 minutes of screen time.
Click to expand...

And how much of it is a clean shot of the robits and not just giant masses of CG edges flying across the screen.
 
Z

Zapages

Member
That last one was so long and incoherent mess that it literally gave me headache... Yes it was that bad.

My neighbor is looking forward to this movie. I am like WTF and he wants to go see it. * shakes head.*

I wonder if these reviews will damper the turn out though?
 
A

Anth0ny

Member
Hellwarden said:
Did Optimus just kill a totally defenseless enemy?

That's not very heroic.
Click to expand...

Optimus in these movies makes Snyder's Superman seem positively angelic in comparison.


and it's never satisfying. it's just fucked up. the tone of these films are all over the god damn place, among 300 other problems.
 
R

Radec

Member
Reviews looks great. Highly acclaimed soon. Michael Bay did it again. Congrats. Well done.

Can't wait for tomorrow. Gonna have to buy a huge ass drink for that 2+ hrs runtime.
 
R

Random17

Member
Only the first one was good. The second one was probably the worst film I have ever seen. And as Ebert put it - the human characters are way more interesting, and after Shia's character was gone I lost all interest completely.
 
digoutyoursoul

digoutyoursoul

Member
Well done Paramount, Spielberg, Bay etc. Enjoy the money, have more great times and so on.

Maybe there will be a time when a team will work on a Transformers movie that will give a shit, just a little bit. Yeah I know "it's just robots fighting each other" you can still produce something decent out of that you know? It's not impossible...maybe.

But as usual "the haters gonna hate" brigade will be out in force and on and on we go. I wonder if the people who like to throw that tag actually dislike something themselves, maybe a film or a video game or a album? I wonder.....
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
SilentRob said:
It's probably the worst one and just as incomprehensible as Revenge of the Fallen. Also: Not that much action, weirdly - until the last third. The first 1 1/2 hours consist of the most terrible, convoluted, badly edited, played and scripted shite I have seen in quite some time. It's on the level of a clip show, seriously. Just, people CONSTANTLY screaming meaningless oneliners at each other with the movie cutting to the next scene the VERY SECOND the last word has been said only for someone else to IMMEDIATELY start screaming again. It's so, so, so fucking bad. One second Mark Wahlberg stands in one place, screaming, the next frame he walks somewhere else, screaming, with no explanation whatsoever what happened in between frames. This happens constantly. It's fucking incomprehensible. I have NO idea what happened in this movie. THere's Merlin and Nazis and an evil task force that is also good and Wahlberg who is also a legendary knight or some shit and some old character in cuba has 3 scenes and everybody is constantly shouting and the camera keeps spinning and no two scenes have any real relation to each other, stuff just happens and at one point I'm pretty sure the Robo-T-Rex just randomly jumps up out of the earth, breaking through the street with no one acknowledging that? And Bumblebee is invincible now? Man, I don't know. The last action scene is really cool. You should watch that on Youtube in a few months. Everything else just...makes you tired and mad. Also Optimus Prime is in this movie for about 10 minutes and his whole betrayal arc is the most offensive trailer bait bullshit I have ever seen.

And I even kinda liked Age of Extinction! This is coming from soneone who enjoyed that trainwreck!
Click to expand...
Haha thanks for sacrificing your time and money.
 
digoutyoursoul

digoutyoursoul

Member
RangerX said:
These posts are so bizarre. Nearly every single mainstream critic like Kermode,Collins or Ebert slammed the films as dogshit of the lowest order. There is nothing hipsterish about criticising a film for its flaws of which the Transformers films have many. Your main argument seems to be people shouldn't apply critical analysis to these films because they have robots and explosions. Your not even claiming the films are good so why shouldn't critics do their job. There is an unspoken rule on here that particular blockbusters shouldn't be put under critical scrutiny. Usually because people can't put up a decent argument to defend them.
Click to expand...

Ebert had some positive things to say about the 2007 movie

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/transformers-2007

No one is expecting a Citizen Kane, right now i would take a Attack of the Clones to be honest
 
T

ThLunarian

Member
I just saw this for free (my company sponsored it for some reason) and I still feel cheated out of 2.5 hours.

There's so much useless shit in the first two thirds! They could have easily cut this down to 1.5 hours.
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
SilentRob said:
It's probably the worst one and just as incomprehensible as Revenge of the Fallen. Also: Not that much action, weirdly - until the last third. The first 1 1/2 hours consist of the most terrible, convoluted, badly edited, played and scripted shite I have seen in quite some time. It's on the level of a clip show, seriously. Just, people CONSTANTLY screaming meaningless oneliners at each other with the movie cutting to the next scene the VERY SECOND the last word has been said only for someone else to IMMEDIATELY start screaming again. It's so, so, so fucking bad. One second Mark Wahlberg stands in one place, screaming, the next frame he walks somewhere else, screaming, with no explanation whatsoever what happened in between frames. This happens constantly. It's fucking incomprehensible. I have NO idea what happened in this movie. THere's Merlin and Nazis and an evil task force that is also good and Wahlberg who is also a legendary knight or some shit and some old character in cuba has 3 scenes and everybody is constantly shouting and the camera keeps spinning and no two scenes have any real relation to each other, stuff just happens and at one point I'm pretty sure the Robo-T-Rex just randomly jumps up out of the earth, breaking through the street with no one acknowledging that? And Bumblebee is invincible now? Man, I don't know. The last action scene is really cool. You should watch that on Youtube in a few months. Everything else just...makes you tired and mad. Also Optimus Prime is in this movie for about 10 minutes and his whole betrayal arc is the most offensive trailer bait bullshit I have ever seen.

And I even kinda liked Age of Extinction! This is coming from soneone who enjoyed that trainwreck!
Click to expand...

High five! AOE was the best of the 3 movies I saw. I saw the first and second, then completely skipped the 3rd, and then saw AOE cause Dinobots.
 
H

HvySky

Member
Worse than Revenge of the Fallen? That's possible?

I almost feel like I need to see this now to confirm whether or not it's that terrible.
 
D

duckroll

Member
Vic_Viper said:
Didnt Anthony Hopkins come out and say that Michael Bay was a Genius while working on this film lol?
Click to expand...

He's right too. What do any of the people here know about true genius anyway. Not like anyone here is an Academy Award®-winning Actor like Sir Anthony Hopkins. Everyone needs to get some perspective.
 
L

Luigi87

Member
Wait the movie is only 2.5 hours as opposed to the previously rumored 3h run time?

That's more tolerable. I see all these movies in theatres with my friends, but the possibility of a 3h run time was a bit much for me.
 
J

jaypah

Member
My child brain still gets excited by transforming robots. I've liked every live action TF movie so far. Or at least all of the parts that had robots where the robots weren't those 2 shuckin' and jivin' robots. I will see this at least once in a theater, fresh off that loud. Then I'll probably see it again with my brother which will certainly also be his second time seeing it. Can't wait!
 
C

chrisPjelly

Member
Holy shit. I'm listening to all these reviews right now. Did they seriously switch between different aspect ratios during the action scenes? You'd think that at least be in filmmaking 101
 
D

dankir

Member
jaypah said:
My child brain still gets excited by transforming robots. I've liked every live action TF movie so far. Or at least all of the parts that had robots where the robots weren't those 2 shuckin' and jivin' robots. I will see this at least once in a theater, fresh off that loud. Then I'll probably see it again with my brother which will certainly also be his second time seeing it. Can't wait!
Click to expand...

but there aren't enough robots in these films. It's just stupid human stories through and throughout with some bastard take on the Transformers.

Like I said before I'm sure out of 5 films there is maybe an hour worth of Transformers on screen with the rest being just utter complete fucking nonsense.

I enjoyed the first film, but in reality some Autobots have like 2 lines, on the screen for seconds and dissapear/die (JOLT, Dino, Sideswipe, etc.) come back somehow in the 2nd film (Bonecrusher) there's no continuity in any of these, no story, I swear they just make it up as they go.

And worst all there will be a 6th film and fucking Bumblebee spin-off set in ancient Rome last I heard.

Fuck off Paramount.
 
cr0w

cr0w

Old Member
digoutyoursoul said:
Well done Paramount, Spielberg, Bay etc. Enjoy the money, have more great times and so on.

Maybe there will be a time when a team will work on a Transformers movie that will give a shit, just a little bit. Yeah I know "it's just robots fighting each other" you can still produce something decent out of that you know? It's not impossible...maybe.

But as usual "the haters gonna hate" brigade will be out in force and on and on we go. I wonder if the people who like to throw that tag actually dislike something themselves, maybe a film or a video game or a album? I wonder.....
Click to expand...

It is possible to dislike something without feeling the need to tell everyone who does like it that they're wrong, endlessly. I feel like sometimes that's forgotten in the age of Twitter and whatnot.

For example, I think anime and JRPGs are among the worst things in popular entertainment. I'm also not fond of Marvel movies. But, somehow, I don't feel the need to inform people who do enjoy those things that I feel that way, because their enjoyment of them doesn't affect my life.
 
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