Why isn't asexuality included in pride?

Sai-kun said:
i'll refer to myself as queer over 'uncommon' any day, thanks. you can keep it.

more on topic, the longer acronym LGBTQIA is inclusive of asexual people. it does *not* stand for allies, as much as allies would love that lol.
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Hi, sorry for being slightly rude but I am just trying to think about expressions that would not need excessive amount of alphabets. I am all for LGBtQ but it will eventually bloat a lot. Queer is ok! Definitely! ...just stupid on my part when I think about the ..uncommon part.

My sincerest apologies because I offended you. And I am drunk also which is not the best time to write online for anyone.

Please think of a good expression that would just be better than expanding into a world where no one has a change to remember the abbreviation.

Again, sorry :)
 
DeathyBoy said:
"Why aren't you married yet?"
"I'm asexual."
"Oh, you just haven't met the right person yet."

That's not oppressive at all clearly.
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It's like kind of shitty to be misunderstood but it's not the subject of constant legal debate, religious rhetoric about family values and sin, or constant accusations that you're a sexual predator.

You can call feeling uncomfortable "oppression" if you want to, but you have to then allow for the differences in magnitude of oppression faced by different groups.
 
As you noted in the OP with an edit, it is. But usually the LGBT... is cut off to avoid too much alphabet soupiness. It really is an poor acronym because of how un-standardized it is. My highschool used "GLOW", as in "Gay Lesbian or Whatever", which is cool. Another member used GSM, which is also good.
GuessMyUserName said:
Sounds like one of those ignorant "bi people have it the best since they have double the potential partners!" comments.
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I'm pretty sure it was a joke. But, even as a person who doesn't consider themselves asexual, having a significantly lower interest in sex can suck sometimes, lol. It in particular, makes relationships very difficult, as I always have a significantly lower interest in sex than my partner. It's certainly not great, as much as that poster (jokingly) referred to it as.

Somnid said:
But if someone complained about heterosexual pride you probably would bury this idea.
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I think there's a difference though. Growing up not having much interest in sex makes you feel like a pretty big outcast. I've wondered what was wrong with me a lot. I've been told I didn't like sex as much as others because I hadn't had sex as of then, or that I hadn't had good enough sex. I've been told (by well meaning friends) that I needed to go on medication. You mostly learn to change your persona when you're around others cause it makes your life easier ; p

And I don't even consider myself asexual (though I probably certainly could without anyone questioning it, others have even described me as asexual). Others who are even "more" asexual than I am would probably have a more difficult time. I don't think asexual people face the same level of harassment as others, but it's certainly not as normalized as being straight.
 
Asexual doesn't mean zero romantic interest. It doesn't necessarily mean opposing sexual relations either... but just think of the classic scenario of the everyday husband wanting some lovin' but the wife gives the "I don't feel well" excuse when they're just not in the mood, and the husband whines yadda yadda yadda.

Now imagine the wife is never in the mood. Sex is more about pleasing your partner than it is yourself, and on a certain level it becomes more of an obligation to have sex.
 
dofry said:
Hi, sorry for being slightly rude but I am just trying to think about expressions that would not need excessive amount of alphabets. I am all for LGBtQ but it will eventually bloat a lot. Queer is ok! Definitely! ...just stupid on my part when I think about the ..uncommon part.

My sincerest apologies because I offended you. And I am drunk also which is not the best time to write online for anyone.

Please think of a good expression that would just be better than expanding into a world where no one has a change to remember the abbreviation.

Again, sorry :)
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Oh, I wasn't mad, I'm just saying that personally, I don't think I would replace the umbrella term we have with what you suggested.

As far as 'bloat', I'm personally okay with that. I can remember all the letters because they're all important, and it's my community. I'm not saying that if you can't remember the letters you're a douchebag, but each letter is distinct in its own way, and just as it's important to create a community with each other, it's important (and okay) to recognize our differences. There are other acronyms like QUILTBAG which are pretty inclusive as well and actually spell a word which can make things easier, but I don't think it'll ever catch on as the primary way of referring to the community hahaha.
 
booming post OP

for all the gains made by identity politics i feel like "sex positive" has come to mean, if you aren't being an exhibitionist and writing the word "cum" instead of "come" you are being left out, you don't matter.

asexuality and true androgyny still has a long way to go imo. but i think it's for a good reason, that it is naturally opposed to modern culture, it is a more spiritual way of life, one less focused on material things. it is a somewhat anti-capitalist way of living.

captialism derives power from its social structures and roles: the nuclear family and pop culture training multiple generations to be good consumers. much of consumerism is marketing towards identity: you are your products. if you don't own this man product, your role as man is diminished. marketing to sex positive is a big part. you can still sell to lesbian and gay and trans using the same pro-sex marketing tactics. asexuals throw a huge wrench into all of this.
 
The fact that the A in LGBTQIA is sometimes co-opted to mean "Ally" is disheartening.
Use the + part if you want, and that way you don't have to "remove" Asexual.

That said, "Asexual" doesn't really seem to fit in anywhere.
Whether you're L, G, B, T, Q, or I, you're still probably interested in sex / have a fairly "typical" sex drive.

Also, having read through this thread, the misconceptions, biases, and prejudices that continue to be placed on asexual individuals is pretty depressing.
 
Ime, asexuality seems to be less known about than LBGT. I was an adult before someone mentioned to me that they were asexual. I've known zillions of gay and lesbians folks:
 
Boem said:
That's what the Q in LGBTQ is for. Queer in this instance references pretty much anything outside of straight not already covered by the first 4 letters. There are so many possible variations in human sexuality that the term would be impossibly long otherwise. You could add every letter of the alphabet in there. Q is fine.
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This is what I was going to say.
 
Wouldn't asexual people not really be impacted by discrimination? Maybe I'm oblivious to it, but it seems like they just don't have sex and nobody really has a reason to even know that or discriminate them for it.
 
Two Words said:
Wouldn't asexual people not really be impacted by discrimination? Maybe I'm oblivious to it, but it seems like they just don't have sex and nobody really has a reason to even know that or discriminate them for it.
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You get discriminated against because everyone just assumes you are a closeted gay person. Also, as an asexual it is very difficult to find a partner because contrary to the stereotype women want sex. And later in life you get discriminated against for not being married when it comes to promotions and looking for jobs in general in the professional world - I guess companies think you will work harder and be more dedicated since you have a family that relies on you?
 
jrcbandit said:
You get discriminated against because everyone just assumes you are a closeted gay person. Also, as an asexual it is very difficult to find a partner because contrary to the stereotype women want sex. And later in life you get discriminated against for not being married when it comes to promotions and looking for jobs in general in the professional world - I guess companies think you will work harder and be more dedicated since you have a family that relies on you?
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Um, that's not my experience in the corporate world. It's women with husbands who get discriminated against - because men worry they will have children and need maternity cover, or that they will take time off for children etc.
 
Maledict said:
Um, that's not my experience in the corporate world. It's women with husbands who get discriminated against - because men worry they will have children and need maternity cover, or that they will take time off for children etc.
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It's a very different experience for men versus women. It's true that the corporate world doesn't want married women in fear of maternity leave, but it seems like they want married men since men are expected to not take off for children activities. But they feel married men will be more dedicated to the job and will fit the corporate culture better.
 
Hermii said:
They could have just added an a in lgbt, Asexuality deserve to feel just as much as the other orientations.

Edit: oh appearantly it is. Never seen anyone go past LGBT.
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Because there are a LOT of letters at this point. lol

This is primarily why we're seeing the reemergence of the word "queer" as an umbrella term.
 
It's supposed to be there.

But Asexuality erasure is rampant, i mean, people are often erasing the A from the acronym.
 
Maledict said:
Um, that's not my experience in the corporate world. It's women with husbands who get discriminated against - because men worry they will have children and need maternity cover, or that they will take time off for children etc.
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A pay premium for married straight men definitely exists in the workforce.
 
There's actually a big debate in lgbtq communities about how cishet aces contribute to homophobic attitudes and try to appropriate LGBT safe spaces despite not experiencing anywhere near the same oppression.

A lot of cishet aces come into these safe spaces and discussions about how gay men get physically assaulted and steer the discourse to themselves by equating the discrimination they face (along the lines of "life is hard for those who don't want sex becaue of social attitudes") being equally bad to the violent oppression queer people face. It can get pretty gross.

Of course, this in turn causes these lgbt communities to turn against asexual people. It's a question of whether the safe space you create is specifically honed in on the violent oppression lgbt people face or does it want to be inclusive against other groups who don't face as much oppression but also don't fit squarely in the spectrum.
 
Sai-kun said:
more on topic, the longer acronym LGBTQIA is inclusive of asexual people. it does *not* stand for allies, as much as allies would love that lol.
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The ironic part is, more often than not, the only times the community remembers the A stands for Asexual is when they angrily berate straights who say it stands for Ally.
 
Asexuality does not have the shared history of oppression that binds the LGBT community together.

LGBT is very much a marriage of convenience anyway, we're all discriminated against for basically the same reasons, so it makes sense to present a common front for now.

As things move along equality wise, I'd expect the alliance to fall apart entirely anyway. Ls and Gs obviously have reasons to stick together, but beyond that it's all a bit iffy.

nynt9 said:
There's actually a big debate in lgbtq communities about how cishet aces contribute to homophobic attitudes and try to appropriate LGBT safe spaces despite not experiencing anywhere near the same oppression.

A lot of cishet aces come into these safe spaces and discussions about how gay men get physically assaulted and steer the discourse to themselves by equating the discrimination they face (along the lines of "life is hard for those who don't want sex becaue of social attitudes") being equally bad to the violent oppression queer people face. It can get pretty gross.

Of course, this in turn causes these lgbt communities to turn against asexual people. It's a question of whether the safe space you create is specifically honed in on the violent oppression lgbt people face or does it want to be inclusive against other groups who don't face as much oppression but also don't fit squarely in the spectrum.
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Basically this.
 
nynt9 said:
There's actually a big debate in lgbtq communities about how cishet aces contribute to homophobic attitudes and try to appropriate LGBT safe spaces despite not experiencing anywhere near the same oppression.

A lot of cishet aces come into these safe spaces and discussions about how gay men get physically assaulted and steer the discourse to themselves by equating the discrimination they face (along the lines of "life is hard for those who don't want sex becaue of social attitudes") being equally bad to the violent oppression queer people face. It can get pretty gross.

Of course, this in turn causes these lgbt communities to turn against asexual people. It's a question of whether the safe space you create is specifically honed in on the violent oppression lgbt people face or does it want to be inclusive against other groups who don't face as much oppression but also don't fit squarely in the spectrum.
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I'm not gonna speak on the discriminations that cishet ace people face because I'm not familiar with that. However, I'm also not going to willingly ostracize a subset of the community because they may or may not fully understand the full realm of gay persecution.

I compare this to gay White men and how they can't fully understand the intersectionality of race, gender, and sexuality when it comes to discrimination. I believe that there is a dialogue that can be opened up with cishet aces because I also believe that gay White men can be educated about racial and gender injustices in society as a whole.
 
kirblar said:
A pay premium for married straight men definitely exists in the workforce.
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Oh absolutely. I've run into that issue myself - people do subconsciously count it against you. "You don't ave a family to support", "you can be more flexible in finding a new job" etc etc
 
How About No said:
Well, that's what it meant back then

Then the people who were called it took ownership of it as a symbol of pride
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It's also easier, if we're being honest.

"Queer" is a simple, non-gender or binary specific way to refer to the full gamut of sexual and gender identities. It's a word people already know, and it beats having to recite the alphabet when talking about gender and sex.
 
Earthbound64 said:
The fact that the A in LGBTQIA is sometimes co-opted to mean "Ally" is disheartening.
Use the + part if you want, and that way you don't have to "remove" Asexual.

That said, "Asexual" doesn't really seem to fit in anywhere.
Whether you're L, G, B, T, Q, or I, you're still probably interested in sex / have a fairly "typical" sex drive.

Also, having read through this thread, the misconceptions, biases, and prejudices that continue to be placed on asexual individuals is pretty depressing.
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A can stand for Ally and Asexual, there's nothing really wrong with that.

Garrett Hawke said:
Sorry but heteroromantic asexuals are... heteros
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Still not part of the norm when it comes to sexuality.

Sub Boss said:
Im not sure i get this wouldn't that be something else? 🤔
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It is under the Asexuality umbrella, there are variations of being asexual. In this instance one can have a high sex drive / libido, but actually want sex. Basically it is a physiological response.
 
royalan said:
It's also easier, if we're being honest.

"Queer" is a simple, non-gender or binary specific way to refer to the full gamut of sexual and gender identities. It's a word people already know, and it beats having to recite the alphabet when talking about gender and sex.
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(People using this to refer to themselves rather than a collective will never stop being nails on a chalkboard to me.)
 
kirblar said:
(People using this to refer to themselves rather than a collective will never stop being nails on a chalkboard to me.)
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For the sake of simplicity... I can see a lot of LGBT+ people just referring to themselves as a "plus." Or maybe this is isolated to my campus.
 
hbkdx12 said:
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transsexual
Questioning
Intersexed
Asexual

LGBTQIA
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I don't like this only because we will find ways to add more and more letters, which will make it harder to drive acceptance and unity of who we are as people get exhausted with keeping up with the consistency our labels.

I prefer GSM (Gender and Sexual Minorities). It includes everything in LGBTQIA+
 
WaffleTaco said:
Still not part of the norm when it comes to sexuality.
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If the LGBT umbrella opens wide enough to encompass any sexuality outside of the "norm"* then it will become completely pointless. It will be blunted as a useful social movement that has given so much to the LGBT community.

Fights against oppression and discrimination have to be specific and targeted. That's why we have had 4 waves of Feminism, a whole bunch of civil rights movements, etc. rather than one single "progressive" movement.

*care to explain exactly what the "norm" is, btw?

kirblar said:
(People using this to refer to themselves rather than a collective will never stop being nails on a chalkboard to me.)
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Hi, I'm Queer. Really fucking queer. I am a great big queer.

So, so sorry that bothers you.
 
The acronym isn't mine, I'm just a sometimes-oblivious but well-meaning straight guy (it's hilarious that anyone would think the a=allies).

To me, the acronym evolves based on a loose consensus among oppressed peoples. If aces experience comparable oppression, then I can see why it would be added. From the outside looking in, I think about things like Matthew Shepherd or the women of Stonewall, situations of violence and denial of civil rights. Or the casual hatred of right-wing politicians and religious leaders today--they encourage rhetorical (and even physical) violence without ever facing any consequences.

But what I think isn't terribly relevant, if the community is in solidarity with them, then they're in. Who else would decide? I think people deserve a basic level of respect & aces are no different. They have a right to be who they are. I know they face a shit-ton of microaggressions--I've seen it.
 
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