NihonTiger90
Member
I think they do as well, sadly, but not much I can do except keep tweaking my profile until I start getting some messages, hopefully.
Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
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I think they do as well, sadly, but not much I can do except keep tweaking my profile until I start getting some messages, hopefully.
I've gotten compliments from girls about mine when they reply, saying it was nice reading something worthwhile for once. It's not great imo, but fairly thorough. PM me nihon and I'll take a look at it later and see if I can offer any tips. Not like I'm really the best person to ask, but I feel pretty confident due to sudden success, so I'm running with it with everything lol
I held her arms so she couldn't keep hitting me obviously. After that she said she was sorry and that she was just angry that I hurt her and she started kissing me multiple times on the cheek.
Kind of annoying...
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
This. And I photograph horribly, like seriously, my photos make my skin crawl. I think there are only 1 or 2 photos taken of me in the last 10 years which don't look absolutely terrible to me. fml
luckyboyceo
Member
Made plans for date #2 tomorrow night with the girl in my class today. Not going to force anything but I'll probably be trying to go for the kiss.
We're going to this Mexican restaurant then I was thinking of taking her over to this local Seattle viewpoint (she's not from the city) and giving it a go there. Too cliché?
More than likely she just liked the attention you were giving her back when you were pursuing her. Now that that's gone, she's trying to get it back by being flirtatious with you. Don't give in unless you want to fall right back into where you were in the first place.
We're going to this Mexican restaurant then I was thinking of taking her over to this local Seattle viewpoint (she's not from the city) and giving it a go there. Too cliché?
More than likely she just liked the attention you were giving her back when you were pursuing her. Now that that's gone, she's trying to get it back by being flirtatious with you. Don't give in unless you want to fall right back into where you were in the first place.
Yeah don't plan on it at this point. I don't really care.
NihonTiger90
Member
Looking for attention, maybe?
brucewaynegretzky
Member
Why is it wasting time? So what if they're not interested. Hang out and meet cool new people.
TheSchwab_7
Member
So what's the best way to approach a girl who is sitting alone or walking to class by herself? I'm a pretty good looking dude and I am charismatic, but the initial opening scares the living hell out of me.
:lol
Date 3 was just a movie (that I wanted to go see anyway so I figured I'd let her tag along.
A little whiles into the movie start feeling up her leg and so on, she moves her hands out of her lap, apparently wasn't an invite lol. Tried again for good measure and she readjusted herself and held my hand the rest of the movie. Kiss on the cheek after. meh... lol. I'm already kind of on the fence after date 2 with this girl, but I will kind of just keep it on the back burner for now I guess.
Date 3 was just a movie (that I wanted to go see anyway so I figured I'd let her tag along.
A little whiles into the movie start feeling up her leg and so on, she moves her hands out of her lap, apparently wasn't an invite lol. Tried again for good measure and she readjusted herself and held my hand the rest of the movie. Kiss on the cheek after. meh... lol. I'm already kind of on the fence after date 2 with this girl, but I will kind of just keep it on the back burner for now I guess.
NihonTiger90
Member
Yep, don't push it.
lol, I was kind of a bit interested in pushing it actually, things are kinda boring even in texts, date 2 was pretty dull, and 3 was ok I guess since it was just a movie, but was wanting to see what I could get away with. I know she did enjoy it a bit before moving me away, so it wasn't a total loss, but we'll see what happens. Probably gonna wait to see if she messages me sometime tomorrow. Somehow I've had the upperhand in this scenario this whole time, I think, in terms of her contacting me usually.
NihonTiger90
Member
In this economy, yes. It's because companies think they can get more experienced workers for the rates they'd pay you because people are still desperate.
That's not waisting time cause maybe she got some girls who maybe u like so don't give it up.
luckyboyceo
Member
Yeah I'd see how she acts towards you over the next few days. Just stay the course and if you notice a drastic change, then you know how she felt about your move.
Honestly sounds like you've pretty much made up your mind on her. Doesn't seem like you're too interested anymore, and probably for good reason. I understand keeping her around just to see what happens, but it may be time to start focusing on your other girls if you haven't been already.
Might be a little late but shouldn't there be some season retail jobs available where you live? Sure that'd only be for a short amount of time at this point but its certainly better than nothing.
I've called in, gotten applications. No luck. It has to pan out eventually. It helps to know somebody definitely. That seems to be the way most people get jobs.
I have. At the end of the day, it seems like we can't really find much in common and have run through our course of conversations and end up cycling through a lot of generic stuff. No fun. Another girl I've only been talking to up til this point (Concert saturday) is already 10x more interesting due to being a photography nerd, and being into a lot of the bands I am. I've had a ton more interesting conversations already with this girl and have talked about 1/3 of the time up to this point.
Ok... I must admit, girl 2 is a lot cuter, but that's not the sole reason! lol
luckyboyceo
Member
Very true. I'm assuming you've followed up on all the applications you've sent as well?
I know the economy is a bitch right now but you'll find something eventually. Maybe a graveyard shift at a local grocery store? If your schedule permits of course. Stay on the grind and you'll find something my man.
Well then, full speed ahead with girl #2!
No but in all seriousness, just make sure this isn't a knee-jerk reaction to a subpar date. I don't think it is, seeing as you've expressed this opinion a few times in this thread already, but I'd definitely still advise holding out a little while longer to see what happens, then make your decision.
Yeah, so long as she doesn't disappear I'll stick with her for another date or two at the moment and see if things improve. Maybe she'll get the hint that I want things to progress and either say she doesn't want to move like that, or take the hint... and I'll work from there. She lives kinda far and the lack of common ground, and attractiveness not really high, and lack of progression sexually, I'm finding less reason to drive out there. Next time she's definitely coming in this direction, if there is a next time.
Edit: She mentioned a while back that she's having a birthday party soon, and renting a hotel room downtown to stay the night, so I may stick it out til then... lol.
Hung out with the girl who I thought FZ'd me. It was our second time hanging out so I went in thinking "all or nothing," and the gamble paid off. When I told her we were going to cuddle while watching our movie, she straight up asked me -- before we even settled in -- if she could kiss me. Never had that happen before. It was cool.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Getting real fed up of the online dating 'scene' now, its just a bad joke. You can write any thing you like, but if your pictures aren't up to scratch you may aswell give up. Ive kept myself in decent shape all my life, I feel like what's the point, should have just eaten cakes and take away all this time haha. Who are these girls looking for on there ffs, Brad Pitt or what? Also, an alarming amount of girls on these sites have young kids.
Nice!
I gave up after a couple of weeks.
I'd much rather focus my efforts on increasing confidence IRL than wasting my time there.
You two need to fix the attitude towards all this before anything. I've been there at various times over the past 2+ years. Easy to get into that "wtf no one messages ever", but I came to realize usually when I ended up messaging someone was because I was in a foul mood and turned to the site for some sort of validation, and usually fell flat on my face because all my messages came across as pushy or insincere.
I don't consider myself particularly good looking, but I've managed to get some dates out of the whole thing. Even a few where I didn't initiate the conversation. Not gonna happen overnight, and the more you force it the worse your messages/profile will come across.
My two cents anyway, from my experience.
And yeah, women have kids, it happens. You're not dating her kids. I understand not wanting to go out with someone with kids, but I don't think it's worth limiting your pool of available women because of that. You're not marrying her after the first date. Go have some fun, if you determine later you like her but you can't deal with kids, well then you deal with it then.
I don't consider myself particularly good looking, but I've managed to get some dates out of the whole thing. Even a few where I didn't initiate the conversation. Not gonna happen overnight, and the more you force it the worse your messages/profile will come across.
My two cents anyway, from my experience.
And yeah, women have kids, it happens. You're not dating her kids. I understand not wanting to go out with someone with kids, but I don't think it's worth limiting your pool of available women because of that. You're not marrying her after the first date. Go have some fun, if you determine later you like her but you can't deal with kids, well then you deal with it then.
ok, so this may come off as really dorky, so dont judge.
There is this interesting girl that works in the same shopping complex as me (its kind of like 5 shops lined up next to eachother). She catches the same bus as me to and from work. we work at different shops. I've only been working their a couple of weeks, and i wanted to introduce myself, So after we got off the bus and starting walking to the shopping complex, I tapped on her soldier and asked her if she was stalking me. I asked the question in a really lighthearted way, as if i wasn't serious. However, she took it seriously. She looked pretty pissed and didn't look like she wanted to have anything to do with me.
I find her pretty attractive, however I am no sure I get the same vibe from her.
can you see my dilemma? I think my problem is I have no clue how to break the ice. I am a pretty light hearted guy, and usually the stuff that comes out of my mouth isn't serious. My friends understand my personality, its just that girls I would like to meet dont, or take me seriously when I am not trying to be.
thanks
There is this interesting girl that works in the same shopping complex as me (its kind of like 5 shops lined up next to eachother). She catches the same bus as me to and from work. we work at different shops. I've only been working their a couple of weeks, and i wanted to introduce myself, So after we got off the bus and starting walking to the shopping complex, I tapped on her soldier and asked her if she was stalking me. I asked the question in a really lighthearted way, as if i wasn't serious. However, she took it seriously. She looked pretty pissed and didn't look like she wanted to have anything to do with me.
I find her pretty attractive, however I am no sure I get the same vibe from her.
can you see my dilemma? I think my problem is I have no clue how to break the ice. I am a pretty light hearted guy, and usually the stuff that comes out of my mouth isn't serious. My friends understand my personality, its just that girls I would like to meet dont, or take me seriously when I am not trying to be.
thanks
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
I have to agree with you, it is a pointless waste of time. I will admit I had some luck last year after meeting someone I fell for, and even in the last 8 months I've had a couple of dates, but since the summer its completely failed for me. The site I'm actively using at the moment is probably the worst I've come across so far, even though its the most active. I've had 240 unique visitors and have not really felt a spark from any of them. I actually think the lesser populated sites are better due to the sheer amount of choice girls have on the bigger ones. Its just so much easier to find someone better looking. In fact I'd say, after 240 girls pass you over, these sites do more harm than good when it comes to self confidence!
Cpt.Underpants
Member
Dude, as an amateur to this kind of things myself. You just killed the vibe
Start with something casual like "Do you also happen to work here since I've seen you a couple of times?" Then continue there asking questions like where she works, how's the job, how's the people etc. At somepoint introduce yourself and say it was nice talking to you etc.
There, ice broken, and next time you see her you can speak more casually and maybe ask her number.
NihonTiger90
Member
I'm gonna keep going with my online dating stuff. Just gonna keep fleshing things out, seeing if I can't at least get another message or two or actually get something set up. I'm at a disadvantage based on my location (I do not live near a big city) but at this point, really, what's it going to hurt me? The worst case is no one contacts me back. Okay ... that's where I am right now, lol.
It does suck that there seems to always be one hitch in between girls of interest and me. One of them admitted on her profile she was pretty pessimistic about finding anyone on OKC and she doesn't reply too often (though she did swing by my profile, so my message must have been interesting), for example. But really, what can you do to change other people's minds? Just gotta be myself and hope that all is enough.
It does suck that there seems to always be one hitch in between girls of interest and me. One of them admitted on her profile she was pretty pessimistic about finding anyone on OKC and she doesn't reply too often (though she did swing by my profile, so my message must have been interesting), for example. But really, what can you do to change other people's minds? Just gotta be myself and hope that all is enough.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
It's all about the profile pics buddy :S I find an ever increasing amount of girls seem to be going on these model shoot type things. Unphotogenic guys, however, can't get away with going for a model shoot haha
NihonTiger90
Member
It sure is.
Not entirely all about profile pics, although it helps to at least have a couple up on your page. There are plenty of normal girls on there with regular camera/cell phone pics. They don't have to be model shoot pics, all of the pics I've got on my page were from either a normal camera or my or a friend's cell phone. Maybe one is from my D90 but it's not necessarily any better than the rest.
Nihon, put up more pics like I mentioned yesterday once you have them, it'll help. One headshot usually makes people think you're hiding something. (Like when you look at a girl's profile and all you see is her face, what's your immediate reaction? Probably "I wonder what the rest of her looks like")
Keep at it...
Exactly. At worst you spent a little time sending out some messages. It's like when you start a thread on GAF and 500 people read it and no one replies.
(That's happened to me way too much in the past)NihonTiger90
Member
Not entirely all about profile pics, although it helps to at least have a couple up on your page. There are plenty of normal girls on there with regular camera/cell phone pics. They don't have to be model shoot pics, all of the pics I've got on my page were from either a normal camera or my or a friend's cell phone. Maybe one is from my D90 but it's not necessarily any better than the rest.
Nihon, put up more pics like I mentioned yesterday once you have them, it'll help. One headshot usually makes people think you're hiding something. (Like when you look at a girl's profile and all you see is her face, what's your immediate reaction? Probably "I wonder what the rest of her looks like")
Keep at it...
Exactly. At worst you spent a little time sending out some messages. It's like when you start a thread on GAF and 500 people read it and no one replies.
Already put two more up there, but I'll be adding more as I get them, of course.
I think I may not contact people for a few weeks until I get a sizable photo gallery built up. Even though I have more photos now, I just want to make sure my profile is the best it can possibly be before I really go any further. Does this sound like a good idea or should I keep plugging away?
go nana go
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NihonTiger90
Member
Middle line only has six syllables. Mission accomplished.
Instead of asking someone you don't even know if they are stalking you, you should have just introduced yourself. Those kind of jokes work with your friends because they are people who already know your sense of humor. Saying that to a random (albeit not totally) girl comes off as weird, and not the good kind of weird either. I actually just made a stalking joke today and it worked because we already had a repertoire going. I made it because she asked me if I knew how far away we lived from each other (live in different towns) and I said that I didn't know because I hadn't gotten that far in the stalking process yet. That led to more jokes and a conversation about different stalkers that we both have had.
Give it a couple of days and then try again. Next time introduce yourself first and then apologize for the stalking joke you tried to make. Just don't be super serious about your apology, do it in a lighthearted manner.
ze-ro
Etrian Oddity
Member
I've been pretty successful at making myself talk to strange girls lately. Both to girls at work (so many sexy-ass servers at the restaurant) and on campus. I suppose that's something worth reporting.
Flying Toaster
Member
Just walk up to her and tell her that your tired of stalking her quietly and you want to take it to the next level...
Walking to class together and perhaps coffee or whatever you kids do these days.
CF_Fighter
Member
Saw this cute girl on OKC tonight, browsed her answers to questions. She says she'll only have sex after marriage (deal breaker), yet her sex drive is answered as "higher than average" and she says when she has sex she likes to do it "every day". I'm so confused right now GAF....
I know this feeling all too well. After I moved years ago I tried the online dating scene for about 4 months since I didn't know anyone here. I ended up with a few dates out of it, but it was mostly women who either a) misrepresented themselves or b) a single mom with a bunch of kids looking to marry a paycheck.
BoobPhysics101
Banned
Anal, sir. The answer is anal.
Atramental
Banned
What she probably means is that once she is married she will have sex everyday.
Or this.
Or maybe she's had sex before and is now "reconsidering" sex before marriage?
I recently entered my first serious relationship, and it's going well, but we are having a problem finding privacy. We are both college students that live at home, and there is almost always someone at either of our houses. Her parents are highly religious and what we do in privacy is firmly against what they believe. My parents, on the other hand, are much more lenient, but I'm still uncomfortable going into my room and closing the door with them just outside.
Basically, it seems our only option is the car. But where can we park? We've been moving around different parking lots, but after a couple days of coming to the same spot, we'll notice another vehicle making rounds around the lot, as if they're attempting to get our plate numbers, and we've actually had two people pull up and ask us to leave. Now, she's paranoid no matter where we stop. Many parks around here close after dark now, and the ones that are open are 20-some minutes away.
How the hell can two young adults find some consistent extended privacy?
And while I'm here, might as well ask for some more advice. I've never been a conversationalist, but I've always enjoyed when someone else could lead an interesting conversation. This girl and I are quite similar in this respect, we enjoy talking but it does not come as naturally to us as it does to others. So often times we end up sitting in silence after talking about our day and joking around. The silence was comfortable for a while, but physical connections and baseline conversation can only take me so far. I've brought this up with her, that I like to talk, it's just not my forte, and she says she's alright with it. I thought I was too, but it's starting to bother me. I want to make something more than small talk, I just don't know how. We do small talk well, she's provided me with the best small talk I've had thus far in life. I'm not yet considering leaving her over this, because she's the best provider of something I need at this point (multifaceted experience), but it is an important issue that I will need to overcome at some point soon.
Basically, it seems our only option is the car. But where can we park? We've been moving around different parking lots, but after a couple days of coming to the same spot, we'll notice another vehicle making rounds around the lot, as if they're attempting to get our plate numbers, and we've actually had two people pull up and ask us to leave. Now, she's paranoid no matter where we stop. Many parks around here close after dark now, and the ones that are open are 20-some minutes away.
How the hell can two young adults find some consistent extended privacy?
And while I'm here, might as well ask for some more advice. I've never been a conversationalist, but I've always enjoyed when someone else could lead an interesting conversation. This girl and I are quite similar in this respect, we enjoy talking but it does not come as naturally to us as it does to others. So often times we end up sitting in silence after talking about our day and joking around. The silence was comfortable for a while, but physical connections and baseline conversation can only take me so far. I've brought this up with her, that I like to talk, it's just not my forte, and she says she's alright with it. I thought I was too, but it's starting to bother me. I want to make something more than small talk, I just don't know how. We do small talk well, she's provided me with the best small talk I've had thus far in life. I'm not yet considering leaving her over this, because she's the best provider of something I need at this point (multifaceted experience), but it is an important issue that I will need to overcome at some point soon.
NihonTiger90
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