Sigh, sorry about length guys. I'm just kinda cut because I like this girl a lot and I thought everything was going really well.
So I've been seeing this girl, met her a party a month ago (halloween!). First date went fine, second date went really well, we kiss for a while and she tells me she wants to take it slow etc. I'm like yeah sure whatever cos apparently she broke up with her ex quite recently (few weeks before I met her). Anyway, third date goes alright as well - we kiss a bit more, and I'm thinking yeah OK this is basically a done deal since we're getting pretty close.
After that though, she keeps bailing on our dates for what I have to say have all sounded like completely legitimate reasons, but yeah... Eventually I see her last night, and strangely she only lets me kiss her on the cheek at first but I don't really think anything of it (I figure maybe it's because we haven't seen each other in a while). However she gets one of her friends to rock up to the cafe we were at, and we go to this art exhibition thing with her and meet another one of her friends. I'm a bit miffed cos I haven't seen her in what feels like a while and she's basically turned it into hanging out with her friends? It seems particularly weird because she's leaving for dubai for an entire month in like 1.5 weeks.
So at the end I'm thinking well at least I'll give her a ride home and we can have some alone time, except then she says she wants to get the bus with her friend and I'm like whatever - I take them to the bus stop and say cya. A little while after she texts me saying I seemed quiet near the end tonight and I say yeah don't worry I'm fine, just wondering, am I likely to see you before you jump off to dubai? And she goes oh I sure hope so, but my dad's coming over so I don't know how much free time I'll have. At this point I'm completely bemused so I text her back asking straight out if she wants to date me or not, and she replies with:
'[me], to be completely honest, I don't think I'm in the right mind/emotional state to date anyone at all yet....I'm not ready. And I know I told you before I wanted to take it slow, I shouldn't have, but you make it very hard because I'm really attracted to you and you're so smart and funny...you're great honestly. It's just not the time for me yet I wish it were but I just need a friend. I understand completely if you don't want to be one, you deserve a lot better, I'm sorry.'
I say yeah OK I understand, but I don't want to string myself along being your 'friend' cos that's a shitty situation. She responds with:
'Thank you for understanding and I'm sorry you feel that way, but obviously I understand too....getting to know you meant/means something, you're a special person [me]. Have a greet week ahead.'
I'm kinda cut about the implicit suggestion here, so I text her saying ok fine, but what's the real reason? She says:
'[me] l I respect and like you a lot more than to give you a fake reason or an excuse you have to believe me...it's just off timing and you dont know me that much, you only see happy me....part of me is happy and past it all, the other part is not coping well at all with my breakup. Hence just giving myself time/space...and knowing better than to risk hurting you by not giving you everything you deserve. I'm not ready....Id on't know why, but I'm just not. Only time will determine...'
So I say well fine, I like you a lot but I restate my position about not wanting to be in that situation where I'm 'friends' with you just hoping you'll change your mind, it's just kind of pathetic, so maybe we should just stop hanging out. She says:
'That's why I'm so sorry but I understand....I hate this, and I hate that I've put you in this situation. I'm sorry....'
I'm really frustrated and kind of pissed off by now, so I figure alright, and I stop texting her and go to sleep. The next morning I wake up to a message from her saying 'So you're not going to speak to me now?' I reply saying I'll think about it and we've basically just been talking as per normal today. Anyway, she's leaving for a month in like a week so I don't know what to do. What I don't understand is that she was only in a relationship with her ex for like 4 months allegedly - I don't see how upset she could possibly be about that STILL. I have a hard time believing she'd tell some dude she really really liked that she 'wasn't ready' either.. so my perhaps overly-cynical interpretation of events is that she's decided she doesn't want to keep dating me but wants the attention or something?
Help me out gaf. Soz about the length and chaotic structure =/