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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF

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No argument there. The amount of drama in those teams is off the wall. The skills you learn, though, are invaluable. Salsa? Tango? Waltz? Swing? Good stuff my friend, good stuff.

I love tango and salsa. :)

Are you a guy or girl? If you're a guy, it's kind of surprising to find other male ballroom dancers on GAF.
 
I love tango and salsa. :)

Are you a guy or girl? If you're a guy, it's kind of surprising to find other male ballroom dancers on GAF.

Yeah I'm a dude. Haha there aren't many male ballroom dancers to begin with, so I'm not surprised that there aren't many on GAF.
 
Yeah I'm a dude. Haha there aren't many male ballroom dancers to begin with, so I'm not surprised that there aren't many on GAF.

That's very true. There weren't a lot of male dancers at my level when I stopped ballroom (Silver). I guess I just got tired of being dragged from one person to another instead of actually enjoying myself with my friends...
 
I have a coupon for ballroom dancing lessons. I really should book them and go. It's fun stuff. Always enjoyed it when it was part of my training regimen.
 
That's very true. There weren't a lot of male dancers at my level when I stopped ballroom (Silver). I guess I just got tired of being dragged from one person to another instead of actually enjoying myself with my friends...

I've actually been pretty lucky with my partners - I don't think I've had a partner that lasted less than a year. I can see how bouncing from one person to another would be annoying though. At the very least you can go out salsa dancing - that's a great way to meet fun girls. :) I need to do that more often though, especially since those places are usually full of weird dudes creeping on chicks.

BladeWorker said:
I have a coupon for ballroom dancing lessons. I really should book them and go. It's fun stuff. Always enjoyed it when it was part of my training regimen.

You totally should, it's an awesome way to meet people and build up your confidence, not to mention pick up some great skills.
 
So you like nothing that this girl likes? Hobby wise, professional interests, places you both enjoy, food?

I havent asked her about places she enjoys or food.

Professional interests?, well, she majored Elect. Eng. and I'm on the same boat but I still have a long way before me.

There's no common ground at all but you think she's awesome? I'm confused.

She is very good looking and quite misterious, I kinda like that, and I like how she makes eye contact with me .

Theres is another thing that is against me, ..
I can't dance, its way too hard for me and I dont want to look like an idiot, so I just dont do it, in the rare case that I go to a party, I just keep drinking and chatting with the people, but I never dance
 
I havent asked her about places she enjoys or food.

Professional interests?, well, she majored Elect. Eng. and I'm on the same boat but I still have a long way before me.

She is very good looking and quite misterious, I kinda like that, and I like how she makes eye contact with me .

Theres is another thing that is against me, ..
I can't dance, its way too hard for me and I dont want to look like an idiot, so I just dont do it, in the rare case that I go to a party, I just keep drinking and chatting with the people, but I never dance

The things I listed were just examples. There has to be SOMETHING you can connect on.

And I never got how someone could get genuinely into a girl based just on looks. Don't get me wrong. If I see a hot girl I want to get to know her better, but if I chill with her twice and can't really connect I'm gonna move on and just be upset we didn't get along better.
 
I havent asked her about places she enjoys or food.

Professional interests?, well, she majored Elect. Eng. and I'm on the same boat but I still have a long way before me.

She is very good looking and quite misterious, I kinda like that, and I like how she makes eye contact with me .

Theres is another thing that is against me, ..
I can't dance, its way too hard for me and I dont want to look like an idiot, so I just dont do it, in the rare case that I go to a party, I just keep drinking and chatting with the people, but I never dance
No offense, but these two just do not go hand in hand. Is she the geeky/nerdy type? I'm sure you could find some kind of similar interests if you two are in the same department, even if it is school/work related.
 
I havent asked her about places she enjoys or food.

Professional interests?, well, she majored Elect. Eng. and I'm on the same boat but I still have a long way before me.



She is very good looking and quite misterious, I kinda like that, and I like how she makes eye contact with me .

Theres is another thing that is against me, ..
I can't dance, its way too hard for me and I dont want to look like an idiot, so I just dont do it, in the rare case that I go to a party, I just keep drinking and chatting with the people, but I never dance

A major part of dancing is not caring what other people think. Just be confident and be yourself! :)
 
First time going back home in a year and I want to get my 15 yr old sister a birthday/xmas gift. I was thinking either I could gamble, get her something like some headphones or some nice shoes (but that could backfire, she switches styles every month) OR I could just be lame and throw her money.

Throw her money and take her to a Rated R movie right?
 
Ladies. I'm feeling over my ex and ready to move on. Thinking about online dating since the place I'm currently living in (not for long hopefully) has like no nightlife of any kind. Anyway, what are the worst things to see on a profile?
 
First time going back home in a year and I want to get my 15 yr old sister a birthday/xmas gift. I was thinking either I could gamble, get her something like some headphones or some nice shoes (but that could backfire, she switches styles every month) OR I could just be lame and throw her money.

Throw her money and take her to a Rated R movie right?

Money is always a good gift. But headphones are good too. How close are you two?
 
Money is always a good gift. But headphones are good too. How close are you two?

Real close, almost too close at times. When I was at my dad's house with her we were inseparable.

But kids grow up fast and girls grow up faster. I've been gone for a long time and missed a lot though.
 
Real close, almost too close at times. When I was at my dad's house with her we were inseparable.

But kids grow up fast and girls grow up faster. I've been gone for a long time and missed a lot though.

Hmm. If you just want to surprise her or give her a gift, you could just give her money. Or, and this is largely dependent on the two of you, you could offer to take her out to the mall or wherever and offer to get her something. It would give you two a chance to catch up for old times' sake.
 
Ladies. I'm feeling over my ex and ready to move on. Thinking about online dating since the place I'm currently living in (not for long hopefully) has like no nightlife of any kind. Anyway, what are the worst things to see on a profile?

What do you mean on a profile? Like an okcupid one? Personally I think humor is your best bet on those things. You should just tell me an example though, I don't really read those things.
 
Hmm. If you just want to surprise her or give her a gift, you could just give her money. Or, and this is largely dependent on the two of you, you could offer to take her out to the mall or wherever and offer to get her something. It would give you two a chance to catch up for old times' sake.

I'm supposed to meet her little boyfriend too. Before, my dad and I would punk those dudes at the door with a 40 oz in each hand just to shake em up for laughes but I'm not even sure if I can do that anymore.
 
What do you mean on a profile? Like an okcupid one? Personally I think humor is your best bet on those things. You should just tell me an example though, I don't really read those things.

Yeah, like an okcupid thing. I have no experience with online dating, so I honestly really don't know what I'm asking. Just wondering what others see often that is a big turn off I guess?
 
I'm supposed to meet her little boyfriend too. Before, my dad and I would punk those dudes at the door with a 40 oz in each hand just to shake em up for laughes but I'm not even sure if I can do that anymore.

:lol

The boyfriend certainly throws a wrench in the plans. I suppose taking her to a movie is nice as well. Sure would be a nice gesture to be able to spend time with your sister alone though.
 
I'm supposed to meet her little boyfriend too. Before, my dad and I would punk those dudes at the door with a 40 oz in each hand just to shake em up for laughes but I'm not even sure if I can do that anymore.

Go to the mall with them. Don't do a movie with them. Unless you want to sit between them and make it awkward.



Yeah, like an okcupid thing. I have no experience with online dating, so I honestly really don't know what I'm asking. Just wondering what others see often that is a big turn off I guess?

Oh hmm I don't really do online profile dating but from my p.o.v. I think should be careful what you write in any sort of category that involves what you're looking for in a woman.
 
I was hoping I wouldn't have to do anything with her boyfriend other than traumatize him over dinner.
 
Be sure to use the biggest knife in the house at dinner.

If he doesn't sit down to pee for the rest of his life, I'll consider it a failure on my part.

But I don't know what to do with teenage girls that are related to me!
 
I'm supposed to meet her little boyfriend too. Before, my dad and I would punk those dudes at the door with a 40 oz in each hand just to shake em up for laughes but I'm not even sure if I can do that anymore.

Hey, how about taking her out for shopping and a movie ? You get to help her pick something she likes, and spend some quality time with her. Its like giving her money, but without the impersonal bit.
 
Yeah, like an okcupid thing. I have no experience with online dating, so I honestly really don't know what I'm asking. Just wondering what others see often that is a big turn off I guess?

Instead of focusing on what NOT to do, focus on what you SHOULD do:

-Spell and punctuate properly

-Be tactful, but honest

-Tap in to your senses of humility and humour.

These will help you come across as more approachable. You don't have to leave her rolling on the floor laughing. You do need to come across as sane, capable of holding up your end of a conversation, and capable of washing and dressing yourself. A bit of intrigue is also a good idea: mention a few talents or things about your life in passing that you can elaborate on in a back-and-forth or on a first date.

Funny is good - but laughter alone won't get you dates, if your profile doesn't otherwise demonstrate that you're in "date shape".
 
Ladies how do you feel about guys hitting(for lack of a better word) on you outside? Like I'm pretty good with talking but finding an opening or conversation starter is very tough for me.
 
Ladies how do you feel about guys hitting(for lack of a better word) on you outside? Like I'm pretty good with talking but finding an opening or conversation starter is very tough for me.

Your first goal is to establish some conversation, not to hit on her. So just talk to her. Most openings are situational, so it will depend on where you are.

Also, body language will generally indicate which ones are open to conversation.



edit: LadyGAF, I have a bit of a problem. I went to a Christmas concert with my best friend, and at the end of the night, I couldn't help but feel... something different. As much as I date my friends from time to time, she's one of the few that are off limits to me. What do I do?
 
Hey, how about taking her out for shopping and a movie ? You get to help her pick something she likes, and spend some quality time with her. Its like giving her money, but without the impersonal bit.
I will do this

After traumatizing her boyfriend.
 
How can you reconcile that with the fact that the entire point of him trying to dance is to get a girl to think more highly of him?

Because I assume he's not trying to impress her with amazing dancing, he's simply trying to show her he can be a fun person and not be "that guy" whenever going to parties/clubs/etc
 
edit: LadyGAF, I have a bit of a problem. I went to a Christmas concert with my best friend, and at the end of the night, I couldn't help but feel... something different. As much as I date my friends from time to time, she's one of the few that are off limits to me. What do I do?

Be careful ;x You don't want to start having strong feelings right away and act on it, because if you realize later on that it isn't what you want, you might mess up a good friendship. You have to consider how she feels too.
But hey, if later on you still feel the same way (and have hints that she's interested) you might have something really good going ;o. Two people I know who were best friends for 7 years just started a relationship, so it could happen.
 
Be careful ;x You don't want to start having strong feelings right away and act on it, because if you realize later on that it isn't what you want, you might mess up a good friendship. You have to consider how she feels too.
But hey, if later on you still feel the same way (and have hints that she's interested) you might have something really good going ;o. Two people I know who were best friends for 7 years just started a relationship, so it could happen.

Well, that's kind of the thing. We are compatible with our personalities, but not a good fit with everything else. That, and I know for a fact she isn't interested in me, or in a relationship with anyone else.

I actually asked her out a year ago or more. She said no, and I respected her choice. And I still do.

edit: Perhaps a part of it has to do with my shitty dating experiences as of late.

edit2: Annnndddd, I have a date with a girl tomorrow that I'm not sure I like. She's cute and interesting, but I don't see it going anywhere simply because of her age and where she is in her life.

How can you reconcile that with the fact that the entire point of him trying to dance is to get a girl to think more highly of him?

Because I assume he's not trying to impress her with amazing dancing, he's simply trying to show her he can be a fun person and not be "that guy" whenever going to parties/clubs/etc

Yes, exactly. Interesting thing about impressing people, women or otherwise: It's a lot harder to win their approval than it is for you to be comfortable and confident about what you do.
 
I will do this

After traumatizing her boyfriend.

heheheh. Have fun. Sometimes I wish I had an older brother for these kinds of things.

Ladies how do you feel about guys hitting(for lack of a better word) on you outside? Like I'm pretty good with talking but finding an opening or conversation starter is very tough for me.

I don't really like being hit on in general. lol. It kind of makes me uncomfortable, but then I'm not looking so probably not the best person to ask.
 
edit: Perhaps a part of it has to do with my shitty dating experiences as of late.

edit2: Annnndddd, I have a date with a girl tomorrow that I'm not sure I like. She's cute and interesting, but I don't see it going anywhere simply because of her age and where she is in her life.

Think you might be developing feelings for someone because they're part of your "comfort zone"?

Shake 'er off. Everyone goes through slumps from time to time. Everyone who takes a deep breath and lets the bad stuff pass gets through it.
 
Think you might be developing feelings for someone because they're part of your "comfort zone"?

Shake 'er off. Everyone goes through slumps from time to time. Everyone who takes a deep breath and lets the bad stuff pass gets through it.

Yes, I'm pretty sure it's because it's one of the good things that are going for me right now!

On a brighter note, I was at a party earlier tonight and met a cute girl. Talked to her, flirted a bit, and got a number and a date for next week. :D
 
how do people get into 'friends with benefits' type deals?
i cant ever support relationships with my health

Many FWB cases -- at least, the ones that work -- are built with a lot of mutual respect and honesty. I remember reading an article a while back about the current "dating lingo" and there is a significant difference between Fuck Buddies and Friends With Benefits.
 
Many FWB cases -- at least, the ones that work -- are built with a lot of mutual respect and honesty. I remember reading an article a while back about the current "dating lingo" and there is a significant difference between Fuck Buddies and Friends With Benefits.

that didnt really answer my question :(
 
how do people get into 'friends with benefits' type deals?
i cant ever support relationships with my health

There's really no tactful way to ask someone if they want to be your f-buddy. So, if you feel some chemistry but don't want a relationship, just ask outright and set some rules. You'll either have your arrangement or move on.

Be safe dude. Most f-buddy relationships that I'm aware of aren't exclusive, and someone usually ends up getting hurt (either by disease or heartbreak from getting attached).
 
Okay, decided to send my sister money and terrorize her BF via Skype. Best I could do since I realized how fucked up and hung over I'll be over New Years.

Anyways... my ex.

I think I'm getting jerked around by a woman who just writhes in the attention I give her. She's a 31, black sheep mormon, and basically hasn't enjoyed a relationship in 6 years. - she broke up with me for the simple reason that she couldn't see herself trying to make it work with a guy like me over any kind of distance.

Now, I pretty much hit her with an ultimatum because I could see the groundwork being laid for her dragging me along but never committing to anything so I told her to either meet me halfway or cut me loose. We ended things like responsible adults, moved on, got busy, stopped talking gradually, w/e. The last thing we spoke about seriously was her returning my stuff. I told her not to send me anything back until I was officially out of it, just to keep stuff simple. She wanted to work things out with herself or whatever and I felt that that was the best way to honor her wishes while also getting the closure I needed.

2 months later, she hits me up over facebook with the pet names and whatnot and I'm like... por que?

Let me say that I'm a dumbass ahead of time, and that I love to make impossible situations work. But I've finally got to the point in life where I don't apply that to relationships. Does this sound like her rethinking stuff or middle-aged woman just looking for attention again? I like her way too much to be a dick in the box.
 
Okay, decided to send my sister money and terrorize her BF via Skype. Best I could do since I realized how fucked up and hung over I'll be over New Years.

Anyways... my ex.

I think I'm getting jerked around by a woman who just writhes in the attention I give her. She's a 31, black sheep mormon, and basically hasn't enjoyed a relationship in 6 years. - she broke up with me for the simple reason that she couldn't see herself trying to make it work with a guy like me over any kind of distance.

Now, I pretty much hit her with an ultimatum because I could see the groundwork being laid for her dragging me along but never committing to anything so I told her to either meet me halfway or cut me loose. We ended things like responsible adults, moved on, got busy, stopped talking gradually, w/e. The last thing we spoke about seriously was her returning my stuff. I told her not to send me anything back until I was officially out of it, just to keep stuff simple. She wanted to work things out with herself or whatever and I felt that that was the best way to honor her wishes while also getting the closure I needed.

2 months later, she hits me up over facebook with the pet names and whatnot and I'm like... por que?

Let me say that I'm a dumbass ahead of time, and that I love to make impossible situations work. But I've finally got to the point in life where I don't apply that to relationships. Does this sound like her rethinking stuff or middle-aged woman just looking for attention again? I like her way too much to be a dick in the box.

Don't be that guy that's waiting in the wings for your own sanity.


Are there specific things that contribute towards your notion of great sex, or is it based more on the emotional bond you share with the partner? Perhaps a bit of both?

I think the reason they might have better sex with those they have an emotional bond with is trust. When we really trust a guy we're definitely more frisky.
 
Let me say that I'm a dumbass ahead of time, and that I love to make impossible situations work. But I've finally got to the point in life where I don't apply that to relationships. Does this sound like her rethinking stuff or middle-aged woman just looking for attention again? I like her way too much to be a dick in the box.

What the fudge.

Silly woman, pet names are for lovers. Given the age it's probably just that she doesn't know what else to say to you rather than attention-grabbing. But regardless, if you're not interested, be sure to (tactfully) push off any advances.

If you haven't already, make arrangements to get your stuff back or get closure or whatever, and then cease contact.
 
I'm becoming concerned that losing my girlfriend took away my filter. I'm typically a very sarcastic/cynical person, and admittedly somewhat of an asshole. In the past my ex would always tell me when I was going too far. Lately I've just been a complete dick to people. I feel like shit between the breakup and not being able to find a job, so I have a lot of anger stored up. I'm answering questions like "How are you?" with "You know damn well, and considering that you know isn't it that a pretty stupid question?" I'm being downright mean to new people I meet, and I'm much more quick to call people out on stupid shit in public. I'm at home over xmas break and I've taken to driving around the suburbs after 1 am and just slamming on the horn through residential neighborhoods. And if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm enjoying myself. People piss me off, I'm enjoying making them feel dumb. They can't make me feel any worse, so who cares? I've got nothing to lose there. I can think of no reason to change. Got anything here?
 
I'm becoming concerned that losing my girlfriend took away my filter. I'm typically a very sarcastic/cynical person, and admittedly somewhat of an asshole. In the past my ex would always tell me when I was going too far. Lately I've just been a complete dick to people. I feel like shit between the breakup and not being able to find a job, so I have a lot of anger stored up. I'm answering questions like "How are you?" with "You know damn well, and considering that you know isn't it that a pretty stupid question?" I'm being downright mean to new people I meet, and I'm much more quick to call people out on stupid shit in public. I'm at home over xmas break and I've taken to driving around the suburbs after 1 am and just slamming on the horn through residential neighborhoods. And if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm enjoying myself. People piss me off, I'm enjoying making them feel dumb. They can't make me feel any worse, so who cares? I've got nothing to lose there. I can think of no reason to change. Got anything here?

Are you any kind of outdoors person? If so I'd say go camping and or take a hike. Get some perspective on things and chill out by yourself.
 
Are you any kind of outdoors person? If so I'd say go camping and or take a hike. Get some perspective on things and chill out by yourself.

Agreed with this, sounds like you need to remove yourself from your current circumstances for awhile. Being single and unemployed is a shitty place to be if those are where you place your priorities/feelings of self worth. Find a friend who doesn't irritate the shit out of you and go for a road trip or something.
 
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