I think you guys are correct, but the roommate texting her on the poster's behalf was a good move. Benefit of the doubt, right? She doesn't text back? Means she's not interested and it partly confirms your theory. Give you the peace of mind that you no longer have to wonder whether or not she was interested.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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I think you guys are correct, but the roommate texting her on the poster's behalf was a good move. Benefit of the doubt, right? She doesn't text back? Means she's not interested and it partly confirms your theory. Give you the peace of mind that you no longer have to wonder whether or not she was interested.
Vermillion
Banned
How you decide to do it is up to you. I'd be a bit snarky about it, but that's just who I am; the whole line I just typed out is a reflection of my personality. You don't have to say that line for line, I'm just trying to suggest that you simply introduce yourself. The important thing is that you don't have to really think about what you're going to say. You need to be able to think on your feet.
But things look good for you, honestly. She's been staring at you constantly, and that's a good sign. At this point, you know she's most likely interested, you just need to see if the two of you can hold a conversation interesting enough for you to consider asking her out or for her number.
I don't know how other people feel about it, but I've always viewed approaching a girl is kind of like you admitting to yourself that you find a girl attractive. When you start talking (if you do, if she doesn't want to talk she's not interested) you merely have to decide if you find her first impression of her personality to be a good one. If you still like her, in this span of a minute or two, then ask for her number. You're a buyer, as a guy -- not a seller. So if you don't actually like the impression you get of her, then don't ask for the number. I think that once you know this and acknowledge it, it can be very empowering and help deflate a lot of nervousness.
MutantCyborg
Member
Wow, the buyer analogy really makes sense... I've never thought about it that way before.
I've joked about the classes we have together with her before, but I was with someone then and wasn't in the mindset I am now.
I guess I'll just see how it goes tomorrow.
Edit--- The thing that is probably making me nervous is the fact that we do have classes together, if something went wrong I really would not want to deal with that drama. But that is thinking too much in advanced.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
Yeah. It definitely is hard. We had a huge argument (again) and while I understand I was a bit of a jackass, and acknowledged the fact, she brought everything back onto her and about how I upset her, never mind the fact that she said shitty things to me and upset me as well. :/
But I am. It's been a long time since we actually dated, but I never got closure at all. Add to the fact that she was my first 'love' is kind of making it more difficult than I had originally anticipated... But I guess time heals all.
It also helps that she never really took an interest into what made me, me. Didn't ever care to ask what I wanted out of things, something I was eager and quick to do. We dated for a year and a half, and she told me she thought I was studying something with science, and she never really knew my own political and religious beliefs... and I think that, above all, is what really hit hardest, and really put me over the edge...
Aesius
Member
Thanks man.
Yeah, I realize that not everyone has success with it. It's very hit or miss for sure. In my case I got lucky and landed a girl who had just moved to my city and was simply looking for friends. We hit it off right away, became an item a few weeks later, and now we've been together for nearly a year.
I used to read stories like this and thought it would never happen for me, but then.....it did.
Okay guys, I've been a lurker here for about nine months now, and I just now noticed that my account had been activated. During those nine months of lurking hell, this thread was one of the ones I most wanted to post in. Some of you guys seem to have a pretty good idea of what's up.
So here I finally am for some advice.
But first, about my situation. I'm almost 20 and have never had any sort of romantic relationship. I go to college and have a couple of female friends I hang out with, but not many. I'm not particularly handsome, but I'm not really hideous, either. I'd put myself a little below average looking.
What are some things you would advise that I do to go about meeting women? List some stuff off that you guys to do meet women that you would recommend a newcomer to try. Like the small things you do in order to talk to girls and get a spark going.
What would you tell me to do to turn my situation around, starting tomorrow? Imagine you're teaching me the basics, I need to start at the beginning. I'm the student, you're the teacher.
So here I finally am for some advice.
But first, about my situation. I'm almost 20 and have never had any sort of romantic relationship. I go to college and have a couple of female friends I hang out with, but not many. I'm not particularly handsome, but I'm not really hideous, either. I'd put myself a little below average looking.
What are some things you would advise that I do to go about meeting women? List some stuff off that you guys to do meet women that you would recommend a newcomer to try. Like the small things you do in order to talk to girls and get a spark going.
What would you tell me to do to turn my situation around, starting tomorrow? Imagine you're teaching me the basics, I need to start at the beginning. I'm the student, you're the teacher.
A few things, first.
1. Make sure you can live with WHATEVER outcome happens, and that you can smile at the end of the day. By this, I mean enjoy whatever you're doing even if its not getting you girls. Which means...
2. Go to events! Lots of them. Go to bars, go to nightclubs. Keep trying to meet girls, as many as you can. Its a game of odds. Make any friends you can, even if they're guys. Those guys can always introduce you to other girls, or just help you in a group effort to meet other girls. Do not see any outing as a lost cause.
3. Be open to failure and accept that you'll HAVE to take risks at some point. You may even have to go out of your comfort zone. If you DO fail, just keep trying. Don't think of it as some fault of yours or whatever. Just try more.
Ok guys, I've got a pretty basic situation going on, but I can't decide how to approach it. A cute girl joined a student-run choir that I'm in. We've had 2 rehearsals so far this semester and during breaks that we take, I've been able to make her laugh a lot and have talked about cool science stuff that we're into. It's all been in group conversation, though, as we naturally gather in groups to talk. I'm just wondering how to start flirting with her without it being awkward in the group context, or how to separate us one on one smoothly. We always leave in bunches too, as she walks to her dorm with other people that live there and I walk to my car in the other direction, so that's no good.
Eh, I feel ridiculous asking about this, but I just want to make some sort of move soon before I get friend-zoned.
Eh, I feel ridiculous asking about this, but I just want to make some sort of move soon before I get friend-zoned.
Yeah, I figured stuff like that would be the case. My biggest problem is probably gonna be the third one you said. I don't really have problems with meeting people, it's just the fear of rejection has always been a huge issue with me.
More advice from anybody would be appreciated.
Ask her out for desert after rehearsal. Invite her entire group if you have to. Show them you're a fun guy. If she/they say yes, gauge your interest in her while you're out. At the very worst, you've made new friends. At the very best, you ask for her number while you're out and get it.
Don't just ask for her number though. A good trick is to see if you can't have everyone exchange numbers. You know, like organise another outing with everyone, or come up with some other excuse. Once you have her number, your avenue of one-to-one discussion is set!
You guys are great.
It's a small choir, and we're all pretty much friends already. I have previously established a reputation as the fun guy. We've had some social events already, but she hasn't been able to make it to them. We actually have a contact list with emails and phone numbers, but I thought it might be weird to text or call her without getting her number directly?
It's a small choir, and we're all pretty much friends already. I have previously established a reputation as the fun guy. We've had some social events already, but she hasn't been able to make it to them. We actually have a contact list with emails and phone numbers, but I thought it might be weird to text or call her without getting her number directly?
luckyboyceo
Member
It is weird. Definitely don't just text her out of the blue without receiving her number first. That's the kind of stuff that gets you labeled as creepy.
Is there anything you could ask for her help with, with relation to the choir? It is a bit weird to get in touch without an alternate reason.
You really do have to guage your chances though; at some point you just have to awkwardly ask her out for coffee or lunch; just make sure when you are alone with her, even for a second, that you pop the question.
If you think it's weird, it's because it is. It really is. Don't call or text her unless you explicitly get the number from her.
You're going to have to man up and ask her for it eventually.
Thanks, that's what I thought.
I'll just be more aggressive in taking control of this situation during our next rehearsal, whether that's just getting her number or actually asking her out.
If you have her number though, you'd look silly asking for it though, lol. That could be good for a laugh though, and score you points.
Gave my girl oral/fingered her today, and she was so fucking wet it's insane. I've never seen anything like it. It was like Niagra falls down there. I have this incredible technique that works like a charm. If anyone wants to know it, let me know (not sure if it's okay to post here).
ThLunarian
Member
I deliver pizzas for work, and today I delivered to a very cute woman who also seemed awesome. Unfortunately, circumstances hindered me from trying to make a move then and there, and I wasn't good enough at thinking on my feet to push through the distractions.
Is there any way to be proactive and attempt to make a move on her without waiting for her to call and order again? I mean, technically I have access to her contact info, but as others mentioned above for the other guy's situation, using it without her permission would be weird.
On the other hand, if I just do nothing, it's likely that I'll never see her again.
Should I just consider this a lost cause and forget about it, or is there something I can do?
Is there any way to be proactive and attempt to make a move on her without waiting for her to call and order again? I mean, technically I have access to her contact info, but as others mentioned above for the other guy's situation, using it without her permission would be weird.
On the other hand, if I just do nothing, it's likely that I'll never see her again.
Should I just consider this a lost cause and forget about it, or is there something I can do?
You wouldn't look silly because you'd be inadvertently stating to the girl that you want to take her out. You'd look confident.
One of my friends had a naked woman answer the door on a delivery he had last week. The woman even invited him in. Haha. I don't know if I'd do it because you don't know who else she's fucked and what she got from it.
This one is a lost cause, my friend. If you see a girl you like, and you're not afraid of them calling and getting you fired
lol), then go for it. Just ask them for their number.Again, don't get her number through your work delivery database. That's some grade-A creepy shit.
ThLunarian
Member
One of my friends had a naked woman answer the door on a delivery he had last week. The woman even invited him in. Haha. I don't know if I'd do it because you don't know who else she's fucked and what she got from it.
This one is a lost cause, my friend. If you see a girl you like, and you're not afraid of them calling and getting you fired
Again, don't get her number through your work delivery database. That's some grade-A creepy shit.
Yep, fair enough. Will just have to hope she calls again and I'm the one to take it.
Either your friend is a liar or he's incredibly lucky. I've been in the business longer than I'd like, and nothing like that has ever happened to any of my coworkers. The closest I ever came to it is when three drunk, vulgar, and profoundly unattractive women invited me into their condo one evening. I declined.
I'm unsure. This was at a hotel, however, so I can see some people doing that. He didn't say if she was attractive or not.
One of my buddies at the same place actually constantly picked up girls that he made deliveries to (we work in a university town) but he was always really good with women to begin with.
Well, she texted me back asking what I was doing, but I guess so.
Thank you both
Does it matter? She contacted you, if you are interested just react and see where it goes. Don't overanalyse it. It's allready strange you ask different people about what it would mean. React, be playfull, ask her out. If she doesn't want to you'll notice - and what did you loose? Nothing.
Just introduce yourself, "I noticed you are also in my other classes," "Hi my name is", etc., and then go from there. If in college nice next step is to just ask what their major is/what are you studying and just go from there. Ask some questions and just get a dialogue going.
Vermillion
Banned
Fear of failure (or just me just being a bitch, really) - that's one reason I prefer to talk to girls with a friend.
Anyways, something I'm slowly getting over...
I'll quote Thomas Wayne/Alfred from Batman Begins here:
"And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
Certainly a bit clearer, but still not sure about the terminology. I don't think "nice guy" is the correct phrase. Perhaps "doormat", or "pushover", "Hopeless" etc.
I think a truly successful date is one who can be a confident, self assured, self sufficient and self reliant kind of "nice guy".
I agree with this. A girl who's been weirdly talkative lately found my number on facebook and has been spamming me daily with text messages. The facts that I didn't know who owned the number at first and that I didn't explicitly give it to her made it kinda awkward and uncomfortable at first. I've only met her three times. So it definitely works both ways.
At the end of December, I left an almost 5 year relationship.
I've been overall depressed for as long as I can remember (child of alcoholics), and being with her made it even worse because she was a controlling, spiteful person who was also depressed. We played into each others weaknesses. She left me for someone else, who was/is who I used to be (but the difference is he's ripped) when we first met. Basically because I wasn't broken anymore, she wasn't interested anymore. She had major daddy issues because he was a sociopath and a stalker, and she feels like fixing broken men.
Anyways for the past month or two I've been even more depressed than ever. I'd skip class for whole days and just lie in bed, nothing I'd do would feel like it mattered, etc. I've been going to my therapist again (I went at first because she wanted me to, now I'm going because I want to) and she wants to put me on meds but I got to take an eval on it soon. This past week or two I've been feeling better, and I actually went to to the gym again yesterday after not going for a month (I used to go because my ex wanted me to, not because I wanted to. Now I'm going for me), and I'll explain why.
One of my roommates left for coop, and a new girl came in his place. It was around the time I had my breakup so I didn't think much of it, I talked to her a bit but I didn't care that much.
However, the more we talked, the more I felt like we clicked. We're both from maine, we're both engineers (shes mech im comp), she's "one of the guys" and "hates girls because of their drama" (but has girl friends), she makes me laugh and I can make her laugh, we have similar outdoorsy interests. She's mad into sports like hockey, and I'm only middling in sports. She's single but she goes to parties like, all the time. She's going to be 20 and I'm going to be 23. Our tastes in music aren't exactly the same but at least she's not a joss whedon fan or into twilight/jersey shore (which I feel is irredeemable garbage). We both like weed and talking about inane shit and we seem to think the same way, and her friends seem to like me and she has no problem talking to me (though most of the time I seem to be the one taking the initiative). We both go to the gym (though I do lifting and she does cardio).
Having been in a long relationship, I know that you're never going to find someone who's completely the same, and frankly I think that would be boring. You should be using the relationship as a way to learn new things and make valuable memories (in the general sense). I'm not putting her on a pedestal, no one is "perfect". However, I think I'm falling in love with her. For the first time in my life I feel motivated, excited, and feel more confident. Maybe it's because I went to the gym again on my own terms and felt like a million bucks because of it. I don't know what it is, but I've never wanted anything so badly. I'd like to assert; I don't need her. I don't feel like "I need to be with this girl to be happy with myself" which tends to be a problem with myself needing validation from others in order to feel like I'm not a worthless piece of trash. But, I'm not feeling like this when I talk to her, or think of her. I want to be her boyfriend, I want to spend more time with her, I want to make new memories and have fun with her. I want her to know how beautiful and awesome a person she is and how happy she makes me.
Whenever I think of her I go, I want that. I admit I don't know how to compete with her going to parties (though she told me that she's had guys come up to her and talk to her, only to find she's an engineer and "turn around and go talk to someone else immediately after saying that" which I find completely insane since I'd do the exact opposite). She's not ugly, she's a little shorter than me, blond hair and freckles and thin, I think she's really hot (though not sexy). I admit I have self esteem issues, I'm a bit flabby a little overweight but not a lardass. I constantly put myself down and think "no one thinks a kind of fat hairy guy who is a nerd is hot, no one wants that". However, lately I've been thinking "if I think I'm fat, I have the power to change that. There are girls who like hairy guys, and if I'm ripped what do I have left to complain about? I'm not ugly at least." Her going to the gym regularly made me say to myself "She's going, why shouldn't I? I like lifting weights and I can be happier about myself, lets do this shit."
I also realize that maybe she doesn't like me, maybe I've already friendzoned myself. I haven't found that out yet, but all I know is; the best thing I can can do is be myself, be happy with myself and show her I like her as more than a friend without being overbearing. I know I can do the latter, it's the former I'm working on. I also realize that if it doesn't work out with her, it's not the end of the world. I know that I'm probably having "an emotional high" right now and that life has a good habit of trolling me, leading me on, and fucking me over in general. I know if it doesn't work I might end up where I started.
That was a whole lot of words, but I needed to get that off my chest since I don't see my therapist till thursday.
I've been overall depressed for as long as I can remember (child of alcoholics), and being with her made it even worse because she was a controlling, spiteful person who was also depressed. We played into each others weaknesses. She left me for someone else, who was/is who I used to be (but the difference is he's ripped) when we first met. Basically because I wasn't broken anymore, she wasn't interested anymore. She had major daddy issues because he was a sociopath and a stalker, and she feels like fixing broken men.
Anyways for the past month or two I've been even more depressed than ever. I'd skip class for whole days and just lie in bed, nothing I'd do would feel like it mattered, etc. I've been going to my therapist again (I went at first because she wanted me to, now I'm going because I want to) and she wants to put me on meds but I got to take an eval on it soon. This past week or two I've been feeling better, and I actually went to to the gym again yesterday after not going for a month (I used to go because my ex wanted me to, not because I wanted to. Now I'm going for me), and I'll explain why.
One of my roommates left for coop, and a new girl came in his place. It was around the time I had my breakup so I didn't think much of it, I talked to her a bit but I didn't care that much.
However, the more we talked, the more I felt like we clicked. We're both from maine, we're both engineers (shes mech im comp), she's "one of the guys" and "hates girls because of their drama" (but has girl friends), she makes me laugh and I can make her laugh, we have similar outdoorsy interests. She's mad into sports like hockey, and I'm only middling in sports. She's single but she goes to parties like, all the time. She's going to be 20 and I'm going to be 23. Our tastes in music aren't exactly the same but at least she's not a joss whedon fan or into twilight/jersey shore (which I feel is irredeemable garbage). We both like weed and talking about inane shit and we seem to think the same way, and her friends seem to like me and she has no problem talking to me (though most of the time I seem to be the one taking the initiative). We both go to the gym (though I do lifting and she does cardio).
Having been in a long relationship, I know that you're never going to find someone who's completely the same, and frankly I think that would be boring. You should be using the relationship as a way to learn new things and make valuable memories (in the general sense). I'm not putting her on a pedestal, no one is "perfect". However, I think I'm falling in love with her. For the first time in my life I feel motivated, excited, and feel more confident. Maybe it's because I went to the gym again on my own terms and felt like a million bucks because of it. I don't know what it is, but I've never wanted anything so badly. I'd like to assert; I don't need her. I don't feel like "I need to be with this girl to be happy with myself" which tends to be a problem with myself needing validation from others in order to feel like I'm not a worthless piece of trash. But, I'm not feeling like this when I talk to her, or think of her. I want to be her boyfriend, I want to spend more time with her, I want to make new memories and have fun with her. I want her to know how beautiful and awesome a person she is and how happy she makes me.
Whenever I think of her I go, I want that. I admit I don't know how to compete with her going to parties (though she told me that she's had guys come up to her and talk to her, only to find she's an engineer and "turn around and go talk to someone else immediately after saying that" which I find completely insane since I'd do the exact opposite). She's not ugly, she's a little shorter than me, blond hair and freckles and thin, I think she's really hot (though not sexy). I admit I have self esteem issues, I'm a bit flabby a little overweight but not a lardass. I constantly put myself down and think "no one thinks a kind of fat hairy guy who is a nerd is hot, no one wants that". However, lately I've been thinking "if I think I'm fat, I have the power to change that. There are girls who like hairy guys, and if I'm ripped what do I have left to complain about? I'm not ugly at least." Her going to the gym regularly made me say to myself "She's going, why shouldn't I? I like lifting weights and I can be happier about myself, lets do this shit."
I also realize that maybe she doesn't like me, maybe I've already friendzoned myself. I haven't found that out yet, but all I know is; the best thing I can can do is be myself, be happy with myself and show her I like her as more than a friend without being overbearing. I know I can do the latter, it's the former I'm working on. I also realize that if it doesn't work out with her, it's not the end of the world. I know that I'm probably having "an emotional high" right now and that life has a good habit of trolling me, leading me on, and fucking me over in general. I know if it doesn't work I might end up where I started.
That was a whole lot of words, but I needed to get that off my chest since I don't see my therapist till thursday.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Lost cause. Used to work as a photographer and contacting people from work for personal reasons unsolicited is extremely creepy and uncomfortable. That's why you put it out in the open ASAP when you are doing the job or forget about it. I think it's even illegal lol
This seems overly contrived and totally unhelpful to actually getting a date with her. This plan sucks.
Is there anything you could ask for her help with, with relation to the choir? It is a bit weird to get in touch without an alternate reason.
You really do have to guage your chances though; at some point you just have to awkwardly ask her out for coffee or lunch; just make sure when you are alone with her, even for a second, that you pop the question.
Stop saying weird. There is nothing weird about inviting a girl out for a date. Maybe it's weird for you ynthrepic, but it does not mean it should be. Girl will respect the dude more if he has the balls to invite her out without some lame bullshit group outing. Lame excuses for 1on1 dates are OK though (look I hurt my knee, would you take care of me?)
About her number, please don't be a stalker and call her without getting her number out from her first, when she says yes to going out with you.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I love the way you framed your post dudebro, you seem to be slipping into the positive mind-frame that is so attractive to girls. You are taking the right approach with this girl! Take it as an opportunity to become a better all around person. Work out, read, learn.
The only thing I have a problem with is the quoted comment! Please for all that's good, be fucking "overbearing" and by that, I mean sexually assertive with this girl. Caress her, grab her hand, touch her face, do all those things you want her to comply with. If she lets you keep doing that, go in for the kill (kiss), if not, she will make it known that she is not interested.
Don't be afraid of putting yourself out there and failing
I hope this works out for you, man. One thing I wanted to recommend: get off the weed. In my experience with it it promotes a state of relaxation so deep it almost encourages inactivity and loafing. My guess is you are using it as a coping mechanism to relax, but in reality you should be able to relax naturally. Get off the drugs, focus on exercise like you've been doing.
It's counter-productive to your gym routine anyway, because you'll be eating a tonne of empty calories when you inevitably cave to the munchies.
I like weed for the way it makes me feel, though some people use drugs because "I can't have fun unless I'm drunk" like one of her friends said about themselves. It's more like, I like the feeling rather than needing it to cope. To be honest, we're sharing an 1/8 of weed and got high with her and her friend last night (Been a year since I got high before.)
I'm not really a drinker, my mom was emotionally abusive and died last year to liver failure. I like beer and whatever, but a six pack lasts me like...a week and a half? I've had 12 beers in the past two months or so, though I don't feel like I need them. I don't exactly have any craving for them, its more like, "oh hrm i feel like a beer while i play this game" or I'll drink when out socially.
I tried a cig again recently, but like last time I didn't like it. It tasted good but it was just boring so I lost interest.
In relationships I'm a pretty touchy feely kind of person, but I have no idea how to touch someone even with something as simple as a hug when I'm not. I can think of how, but I keep thinking if I do so, they'll recoil. Girls are not like my guy friends where I can just put my hand on their shoulder or slap them on the back or grab them or whatever. I feel like girls are really against that sort of thing unless they really like you.
Side question:
Her girl friend and her came back after watchign the game at a friend's house, and we chilled out and talked for like an hour or two in her bedroom. It was late so her girl friend slept over and the girl complained about being cold, so I offered her my electric blanket and her friend a blanket. This is just shit I normally do, but now i feel maybe that's being too nice? Also she talked to me before about our smoking pieces and she really liked my pipe. I got the pipe for free, since back when I bought it the piece was my first order and the guy threw it in for free. I gave her the pipe last night and was like "hey you said you liked it, so here. You can have it". She really seemed to like that which made me happy (I didn't want the piece anyways tbh)
If you're doing this stuff out of the goodness of your heart, it's all good. But you want this girl to be more than friends, so it's shitty. So stop being a "nice" guy.
You're sending this girl friendly vibes and she's probably getting really comfortable with you as a friend, which is why this kind of behaviour isn't good for you or her. It's dishonest, in a roundabout way, because you, deep down, don't want to be her friend. You want to be something more, which is what I'm reading, at least. If you're going to make a move, it needs to be ASAP before you cement yourself into the FZ. But, like I said before, I'd advise against trying to get involved with a girl you already live with.
If it goes south? You have to see her for the rest of your lease. If it goes well? You're not going to have physical space of your own because she already lives with you. It's like you've skipped the whole "moving in together" step and are already there.
I was kind of in your shoes (getting over a girl) when I tried the "going for a girl I live with." It wasn't pretty in the end, after we split ways. It was awkward as fuck. I'd be able to handle that awkwardness today, but then again, I'd never put myself in that situation to begin with.
You're sending this girl friendly vibes and she's probably getting really comfortable with you as a friend, which is why this kind of behaviour isn't good for you or her. It's dishonest, in a roundabout way, because you, deep down, don't want to be her friend. You want to be something more, which is what I'm reading, at least. If you're going to make a move, it needs to be ASAP before you cement yourself into the FZ. But, like I said before, I'd advise against trying to get involved with a girl you already live with.
If it goes south? You have to see her for the rest of your lease. If it goes well? You're not going to have physical space of your own because she already lives with you. It's like you've skipped the whole "moving in together" step and are already there.
I was kind of in your shoes (getting over a girl) when I tried the "going for a girl I live with." It wasn't pretty in the end, after we split ways. It was awkward as fuck. I'd be able to handle that awkwardness today, but then again, I'd never put myself in that situation to begin with.
Well, I'm on the lease until this sept or so. I'm not sure what my financial situation is at the moment so I didn't renew my lease, but fwiw I wont be living here that much longer. She will.
And the blanket thing was just me being me, it wasn't because I wanted something. I have no idea how it came across to her, obviously. The piece however was more intended as a straightup gift.
I'm looking now for some local comedy places in boston, so that when she gets back from work I can be like "hey I know you like art performances, there's this standup comedy night on x day, would you like to go with me?"
And the blanket thing was just me being me, it wasn't because I wanted something. I have no idea how it came across to her, obviously. The piece however was more intended as a straightup gift.
I'm looking now for some local comedy places in boston, so that when she gets back from work I can be like "hey I know you like art performances, there's this standup comedy night on x day, would you like to go with me?"
I'd rephrase it to an invite rather than a permission.
"I'm going to a stand up comedy night on ____. You should come with me." Something like that.
Attackthebase
Member
Just take the simple route with this girl, Tess. Simply ask her out, two things will potentially happen (because she sounds like a sane woman): She'll say yes to you and you go from there (though you could be walking through a fine line with her living with you and all that), or she will decline and simply don't make it awkward and everything should be fine.
It's only as awkward as you make the situation. I've asked out some of my friends, got a nos, and we continue to be friends.
Also, being a Joss Whedon hater makes me sad.
It's only as awkward as you make the situation. I've asked out some of my friends, got a nos, and we continue to be friends.
Also, being a Joss Whedon hater makes me sad.
Hello Gaffers, first time poster here. About a week ago, I met a girl at a friend's b-day and I think we got off in a great start. She became a little tipsy, so I took the subway home with her, but I didn't ask for her number. So I was thinking if I should ask her friend for her number or add her on facebook and talk with her, but I feel that asking for her number online is still a little nontraditional? Thank you if you have some advice.
theignoramus
Member
Fuck's sake, Ive only known this girl for a month and we only had sex the one time, but her throwing me to the curb got me on some down and outer shit. Her number's deleted from my phone and I'm trying to look for someone else, but fuck, this one hurt. I didnt just think of her in sexual terms, I thought I found a new friend.
Does not compute.
theignoramus
Member
I'm saying getting into her pants wasnt my foremost intention until, like, the third date. This girl was not a sexual conquest to me and I wasnt drawn to her for the sex.
Aside from her only being interested in having sex, what else do you think would've caused her to becoming uninterested?
If you can find her on facebook you should add her along with a message saying "hey, we met at X party. I had fun chatting to you. what's your number?" or something simple like that.
If you felt it went well, she probably does too and will be happy to give you her number.
theignoramus
Member
Fuck if I know. This woman showered me with compliments. "i love your stories", "you're one of the most interesting people I know", "you're suave" blah, blah,blah,blah.
She knows I liked her and she knew full well what my feelings about her were, that's why she apologized for "not saying anything sooner" (about her not being interested in a relationship "of any kind")
But I already mentioned earlier I was a mediocre fuck. She said she was used to more force and rougher sex. I assume she's moved on to someone who gave her that right off the bat. It just hurts knowing all our time together sharing intimate stories (since when do fuck buddies do this shit? girl was sending me mixed messages) and shit amounted to fuck all.
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