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[Ghost_Protocol]

What do you actually say?

Just "Hey, are you single?"

No, here's a typical conversation:


Me: Hi, how are you
Girl: Hi
Me: I saw you walk by and thought you were gorgeous so I had to come over and say hi (it doesn't matter if it sounds corny or cliche, it ALWAYS elicits a smile/laugh and breaks the ice immediately)
Girl: lol, thanks
Me: I'm *name* *reach out to shake hand*
Girl: I'm *name* *shakes hand*
Me: You aren't single by any chance, are you?
Girl: No, I'm married, etc.
Me: Damn it, ah well, that's gonna ruin my whole day
Girl: lol
Me: Alright, see you later.
Girl: Bye

And I'm out of there. I don't want to stick around being frustrated. Sometimes they've got a fat ring on their left ring finger and I don't even bother asking (Unless she's drop dead gorgeous, in which case I'll ask anyway).

 

[Atramental]

I think where a lot of my approach anxiety comes from is the fact that I never know what to say because asking a girl out is a completely different social dynamic. Or... maybe it's not so much that I don't know what to say but rather that I'm saying stuff that is not apart of my "persona" or character. Sometimes I feel (I don't really believe it, though) that in a past life I was a celibate Buddhist monk.

I mean it's not like I'm saying "Ah yeah, I'll have the #3 combo with a large coke." I'm essentially telling another person, "Hey, I see you as a potential mate. Want to get together?"

That kind of shit just fucks with my brain.

No, here's a typical conversation:


Me: Hi, how are you
Girl: Hi
Me: I saw you walk by and thought you were gorgeous so I had to come over and say hi (it doesn't matter if it sounds corny or cliche, it ALWAYS elicits a smile/laugh and breaks the ice immediately)
Girl: lol, thanks
Me: I'm *name* *reach out to shake hand*
Girl: I'm *name* *shakes hand*
Me: You aren't single by any chance, are you?
Girl: No, I'm married, etc.
Me: Damn it, ah well, that's gonna ruin my whole day
Girl: lol
Me: Alright, see you later.
Girl: Bye

And I'm out of there. I don't want to stick around being frustrated. Sometimes they've got a fat ring on their left ring finger and I don't even bother asking (Unless she's drop dead gorgeous, in which case I'll ask anyway).

Perfect, that's exactly what I need.

 

[luckyboyceo]

I need to make up my mind about this girl already. The bible one, that is.

She's really cool. The religious aspect doesn't seem to be much of an issue and doesn't hold her back from doing things. We "studied" together for about 2 hours today. I say "studied" because it was less studying and more just joking around and having a good time. She's very different in the sense that she's not my typical type at all. Total opposite, in fact. This isn't a bad thing but makes me a little more reluctant to pursue anything more than a friendship.

Found out that she's young though. I mean, turned 18 in October, young. Despite her being extremely mature for her age, I'm 22 and turn 23 in May, which at times makes me feel more like a babysitter than a potential partner.

I think I'll probably still ask her out just for the sake of seeing what happens. She'll say yes, I'm not worried about that, but I don't want to give her the wrong idea in case I determine we're not suited to be more than friends. Besides, there's a girl in my other class who I've been working on for a few weeks now that I'm much more interested in, but she's far from a sure thing.

We'll see where it goes.

 

[thestopsign]

In general for me, the more attractive a girl is, the harder time I have reader her emotions. Not sure if that is a skill they hone on purpose or if it's something in my mind messing with me. Anyone else have this problem?

 

[Miguel]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hqBXV9pqYU This has nothing to do with any of the following post/quotes/etc. Just what I'm listening to.

So my question is.. Where do I go from here with this girl? Should I just say "fuck it" and move on?

You've inadvertently made her more interested in you by ignoring her. The "poke" was a "hey... remember me? I'm still alive... where'd you go?" Have you reread your post? lol

(I realize I'm late, but still)

Just got back from my date. She was SOOOOOO cute, my lord. We sat down to eat, and she couldn't decide what to have because she was giggling so much from my constant eye contact. Never a lull in conversation, which was what I was afraid of all night, then as we're leaving the restaurant, she takes my hand and leads me over to her car, where I push her up against it and kiss her hard. We made out for about ten minutes in the freezing cold with cars driving by us before we got dessert at DQ. Talked a little bit more, a bit on the serious side this time, then left at closing. Made out a lot more, some fingering happened, and we made a second date for Monday. Overall, a successful first date in my opinion.

Congrats. That's a lot like how my last first date went minus some of the action. Totally fun. Hope it works out.

We'll see how this ends up going, but she is really into me at the moment.

Had to "strikethrough" on that last part.

Banned

Noooo! What did you do? Was it your last post? Good job by the way... lol

I'll quote Thomas Wayne/Alfred from Batman Begins here:

"And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Awesome, lol

been on match.com for over 2 weeks now

Settle down dude. You're way too anxious. 2 weeks is nothing. Your anxiousness may be projected in your messages and it's the whole "sounding desperate" whether you are or not (though it seems you are)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOtap5_hHbs

Settle down, it'll come. Or maybe it won't. Not that I ever take my own advice, but don't use online dating as your only means of finding someone. Granted, it currently is my sole option, due to car/wiring/taillight issues, but I've got another car available to me that'll allow me to head out more often again.

No I still want to be friends with her at least, but I feel defeated. I want to date a nerdy girl in my area, and most either aren't attractive or aren't into me, or we don't click other than just normal conversation. I have a few girl friends who are the kind of girl I would like, but have no interest in them past that whatsoever.

Like I found a girl who "gets me" but then I fail in getting with her.

I've messaged 8 girls on okcupid, two replied, and 3 of those who didn't have been online in the past day. rrrgh

Read the above reply.

As for myself...

Well, saturday never happened. We never set up concrete plans, she messaged me saying she would let me know when she was going to be available, around 4pm I hadn't received a reply, so I made plans to go to a friend's party instead with some close friends. Had she ended up messaging me back, I likely would have cancelled anyway since she was a bit flakey. Today she deleted her account. Oh well. Time to work on a few of the others.

Glad to see things are working out for a bunch of you in here though. Always a series of ups and downs, but those ups are usually pretty fun.

 

[Hylian7]

I think where a lot of my approach anxiety comes from is the fact that I never know what to say because asking a girl out is a completely different social dynamic. Or... maybe it's not so much that I don't know what to say but rather that I'm saying stuff that is not apart of my "persona" or character. Sometimes I feel (I don't really believe it, though) that in a past life I was a celibate Buddhist monk.

I mean it's not like I'm saying "Ah yeah, I'll have the #3 combo with a large coke." I'm essentially telling another person, "Hey, I see you as a potential mate. Want to get together?"

That kind of shit just fucks with my brain.


Perfect, that's exactly what I need.

I haven't been single since sophomore year in HIGH SCHOOL. You can't imagine how I feel about all this right now....

 

[Atramental]

I haven't been single since sophomore year in HIGH SCHOOL. You can't imagine how I feel about all this right now....

How you feel about what I wrote?

Am I really that odd? lol...

 

[Hylian7]

How you feel about what I wrote?

Am I really that odd? lol...

No, I meant dating and trying to ask women out in general. It was talking about the first half of your post, I guess I didn't make that clear.

 

[Domino Theory]

What's the best way to write a message to a girl on OKCupid? I understand the fact that you need to tailor the message to them specifically by adding something notable from their profile, but aside from that, how would you approach the intro and conclusion?

 

[Atramental]

No, I meant dating and trying to ask women out in general. It was talking about the first half of your post, I guess I didn't make that clear.

Edit: I'm not reading anything right tonight. lol

I get what you're saying now.

Edit2: running on 4 hours of sleep each day kind of fucks with my reading comprehension.

 

[pj]

What's the best way to write a message to a girl on OKCupid? I understand the fact that you need to tailor the message to them specifically by adding something notable from their profile, but aside from that, how would you approach the intro and conclusion?

I'd say 3 or 4 sentences max, starting with a normal greeting, then something about her profile, then end with a question.

In my ass-pulling opinion, asking a question makes it easier for them to respond

 

[Mr.Fresh]

I was having this conversation today with a bunch of girls about guys coming up and asking them out or whatever. They all agreed that if they are interested in someone they will just make eye contact with the person and try to get them to come over. Now that I think about I do remember some girls making that eye contact. So look out for that guys haha.

 

[Khalifa Jayy]

I was having this conversation today with a bunch of girls about guys coming up and asking them out or whatever. They all agreed that if they are interested in someone they will just make eye contact with the person and try to get them to come over. Now that I think about I do remember some girls making that eye contact. So look out for that guys haha.

Well you gotta distinguish between eye contact and eye flirting. Usually if a girl gives me a good second look and locks eyes for 2-3 seconds I know its in the bag.

 

[Tess3ract]

I am socially retarded with eye contact because I always try to make eye contact with those I'm talking to, but, you have to look away sometimes because just a deadlock stare isn't correct either.

That sounds autistic out loud but it makes sense in my head, and less fluid than I mean.

My point was, I don't know what "eye flirting is" other than the comical stereotype I never see. I do know what people mean by the "she wants to fuck" stare because I've had that a few times before. Imagine the look in your eyes that a starving person would look at food, that's that look.

 

[Hylian7]

I am socially retarded with eye contact because I always try to make eye contact with those I'm talking to, but, you have to look away sometimes because just a deadlock stare isn't correct either.

That sounds autistic out loud but it makes sense in my head, and less fluid than I mean.

My point was, I don't know what "eye flirting is" other than the comical stereotype I never see. I do know what people mean by the "she wants to fuck" stare because I've had that a few times before. Imagine the look in your eyes that a starving person would look at food, that's that look.

I have to get out of the habit I used to be in with this. If a girl would randomly smile at me I would sort of half smile and pretend to be distracted by something else.

 

[BronzeWolf]

I am socially retarded with eye contact because I always try to make eye contact with those I'm talking to, but, you have to look away sometimes because just a deadlock stare isn't correct either.

That sounds autistic out loud but it makes sense in my head, and less fluid than I mean.

My point was, I don't know what "eye flirting is" other than the comical stereotype I never see. I do know what people mean by the "she wants to fuck" stare because I've had that a few times before. Imagine the look in your eyes that a starving person would look at food, that's that look.

"eye flirting" is just when any girl looks at you with more than a passing stare. Girls don't do that (look at dudes at the eye for long), and when they do, they are inviting you to come over.

Ask any lady friend. Those are their "moves" sucky as they are, if you know them, you already have advantage over the rest of the clueless men club

 

[BronzeWolf]

This is why you should never drop a friendship with a girl that is no longer interested in you:

Now that I am no longer single, one of my lady friends (we were f.buddies, but remained buddies) revealed that she was actually actively "promoting" me around her chick circle. She actually promoted me with the hottest girl in there and said girl was interested, but logistics impeded it.

Never close those doors because your dick didn't get wet

 

[Tess3ract]

Well I didn't. I still want to be friends with her although I'm obviously disappointed because i was hoping for more, but I am "okay" with just being her friend.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Got back from the second date an hour ago. We were planning on grabbing a bite at Denny's and bowling afterwards since it was a dollar per game after eight.

We arrived at Denny's at 7:15 PM...and eventually entered the restaurant at 8:30. Yep.

While regaining our breath and eating, we got to know each other a lot better. I learned that she takes medication for depression, and I told her about the similar hold that depression has over my family, including myself on occasion. I actually made her cry while recounting the depression that gripped me after my uncle's suicide, whom I considered a brother since he was only five years older than me. She held my hand across the table all night and was still giggling every time I looked at her intently.

We went back out to her car at 10:00 and cuddled in the back seat in Denny's parking lot. We talked a little bit more, mostly about her friends and our mutual stalking of one another on OkCupid and Facebook. Then we made out again, I fingered her to an orgasm, and we finally left Denny's at 11:30.

Damn, I really like this girl. And she likes me too. I can't wait to see her again.

 

[ErasureAcer]

Got back from the second date an hour ago. We were planning on grabbing a bite at Denny's and bowling afterwards since it was a dollar per game after eight.

We arrived at Denny's at 7:15 PM...and eventually entered the restaurant at 8:30. Yep.

While regaining our breath and eating, we got to know each other a lot better. I learned that she takes medication for depression, and I told her about the similar hold that depression has over my family, including myself on occasion. I actually made her cry while recounting the depression that gripped me after my uncle's suicide, whom I considered a brother since he was only five years older than me. She held my hand across the table all night and was still giggling every time I looked at her intently.

We went back out to her car at 10:00 and cuddled in the back seat in Denny's parking lot. We talked a little bit more, mostly about her friends and our mutual stalking of one another on OkCupid and Facebook. Then we made out again, I fingered her to an orgasm, and we finally left Denny's at 11:30.

Damn, I really like this girl. And she likes me too. I can't wait to see her again.

If you ever have a kid with her and it's a boy I bet his name will be Denny.

 

[ConradCervantes]

I was leaning towards something a little more Irish, but if we last long enough that we're comfortable making kids jokes to each other, I'll be sure to bring that up.

 

[Vermillion]

"eye flirting" is just when any girl looks at you with more than a passing stare. Girls don't do that (look at dudes at the eye for long), and when they do, they are inviting you to come over.

Ask any lady friend. Those are their "moves" sucky as they are, if you know them, you already have advantage over the rest of the clueless men club

Does this work outside of the club scene? Like on the street, if you look at their eyes and smile and they return the gesture as you pass each other, or am I just being creepy?

 

[Acid08]

Feeling weird Dating-Gaf. So I've been friends with this girl since senior year in high school but I hadn't seen her in almost two years since she moved to San Diego(I live in the Bay Area) and I've always had a little bit of a thing for her. We kept in contact a bit but nothing serious, she was in a super committed relationship for much of that time and still talks to the guy and visits him, she says he remains her "best friend" and he lives a couple hours away. So anyway she moved back here a couple weeks ago and we've hung out a couple times. Yesterday I went to her house to watch the Super Bowl and hang out. Her family came home from the party they were at and we all ended up getting a little drunk together. Everyone retires except for us and we end up fooling around, everything short of sex, until like 3am when I finally had to leave.

This was kind of a new experience for me, it sort of came out of nowhere and she initiated it at first then I took control from there. I've been feeling weird about it all day, like I'm longing for her. Not sure if I'm longing to get laid or if it's something a little deeper, as I said, I've always had a bit of a thing for her. What to do now though? We could keep on fooling around I'm sure but I'm not super great at keeping my feelings in check so I can already tell that if it keeps going like this I'm going to develop some actual feelings. I don't want to just become more distant, I really like spending time with her. She basically has a little zoo at her house too which is fucking awesome, I spent probably more time hanging out with her animals than her. I don't even know what my fucking question is, just feeling weird and venting I guess. Shit.

 

[CF_Fighter]

God damn I keep liking this girl more and more, and all we've been doing is chatting online. We just keep connecting on so many things. I even beat her to saying things she would have. Like yesterday we got talking about her last name for some odd reason and she said there used to be a prison in the town her last name comes from in Ireland. This place has a shopping mall now instead of the prison. So I, with the flair for writing and pretentious sounding statements said "So they traded one prison for another." She responded with "I was going to say the exact same thing." Then we got on a kick talking about consumerism and labor, especially the Foxconn ordeal in China right now. Like I said before I have this confidence around her I haven't had with a girl I think ever. Don't worry I still have some things I haven't touched on for our date tomorrow, but with school all day today and then the date being tomorrow I'm not gonna talk to her as much from here on out. Hopefully it builds some anticipation in her. We haven't even traded Facebooks yet and it has sort of been a good thing.

Got her address for Wednesday, just gotta call the place today and see if I need to put a reservation down. It's just a popular place and is called by a lot of press in the area "a great first-date" place. Hell, even she is excited because they make awesome drinks there. I just hope it doesn't rain tomorrow evening, even though it's forecasted to, because I have some ideas for an after dinner thing. Either go out to the beach because it is a full moon, or walk through the current sculpture walk we have by our bayfront. right now. I'm going full throttle with this one guys, wish me luck.

 

[overcast]

Shiiiiit. Never thought I would need help with this. I have no clue what to do on Valentines Day, or what gift to get my GF. I was looking for something relatively nerdy/cute.

She already planned something, so I'm afraid I can't bring something great to the table.

 

[BronzeWolf]

It's been a long time since I spent Valentin's day with a full on Girlfriend. I am weighting my options.

Does this work outside of the club scene? Like on the street, if you look at their eyes and smile and they return the gesture as you pass each other, or am I just being creepy?

Why don't you try it for yourself and come back with the results?

Made out with friend. What to do now though?

Why don't you ask her out on a fucking date man? she is single, go for it. Don't expect her to throw herself at you next time though, you gotta keep working for it! seriously, you have everything to gain from this, I would expect her ASD (antislut defenses) to be high. Try to make her feel as comfortable as you can.

I'm going full throttle with this one guys, wish me luck.

Remember to keep on touching her

 

[Vermillion]

No, I mean it does happen - they do smile back and stuff, but IDK if it's creepy or not.

 

[FallingEdge]

Shiiiiit. Never thought I would need help with this. I have no clue what to do on Valentines Day, or what gift to get my GF. I was looking for something relatively nerdy/cute.

She already planned something, so I'm afraid I can't bring something great to the table.

Take mental notes when you two are together. Even if it something simple. For example, my girl talked about how she never saw the Power Rangers movie as a kid because her friends watched it without her. Bought the movie for her as a gift, saying that we can watch it together. Stuff like that.

 

[Darklord]

No, here's a typical conversation:


Me: Hi, how are you
Girl: Hi
Me: I saw you walk by and thought you were gorgeous so I had to come over and say hi (it doesn't matter if it sounds corny or cliche, it ALWAYS elicits a smile/laugh and breaks the ice immediately)
Girl: lol, thanks
Me: I'm *name* *reach out to shake hand*
Girl: I'm *name* *shakes hand*
Me: You aren't single by any chance, are you?
Girl: No, I'm married, etc.
Me: Damn it, ah well, that's gonna ruin my whole day
Girl: lol
Me: Alright, see you later.
Girl: Bye

And I'm out of there. I don't want to stick around being frustrated. Sometimes they've got a fat ring on their left ring finger and I don't even bother asking (Unless she's drop dead gorgeous, in which case I'll ask anyway).

I liked Simple Pickups way of doing it too.

Me: Hey, where did you get that *insert drink/food/random item they have bought*
Girl: Oh I just got over at-
Me: You know what? I don't care, I just had to come over and say hi because I thought you were really cute. I'm *name*

Try and avoid words like beautiful, hot, or sexy. It can come off as creepy.

 

[Snakeyes]

Perfect, that's exactly what I need.

Just don't ask if she's single.

 

[hawkshockey11]

So I now realized that I was friendzoned by my girlfriend about half-way through the relationship. I developed a bad case of one-itis after I initially played it perfectly to get her (being interesting to talk to, making her laugh, and all while still leaving a sense of mystery about myself since I would never make it explicit that I was interested in her.)

I have the pick up down pretty good, I just don't know how to keep the attraction going. Any tips?

 

[windz]

I liked Simple Pickups way of doing it too.

Me: Hey, where did you get that *insert drink/food/random item they have bought*
Girl: Oh I just got over at-
Me: You know what? I don't care, I just had to come over and say hi because I thought you were really cute. I'm *name*

Try and avoid words like beautiful, hot, or sexy. It can come off as creepy.

"But I really am interested in your Poutine, may I have some?" is also acceptable.

 

[vicissitudes]

feel pretty terrible about it.

Have you told her yet? I'm giving you one week.

 

[overcast]

How long do you guys take to drop the "love" bomb in a relationship (if you do)? Just a curious question, I haven't with my GF yet. I feel like it isn't too far, I'm definitely "falling in love". I'll say it when the time calls for it obviously.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

How long do you guys take to drop the "love" bomb in a relationship (if you do)? Just a curious question, I haven't with my GF yet. I feel like it isn't too far, I'm definitely "falling in love". I'll say it when the time calls for it obviously.

What, telling that you love her?

 

[overcast]

Yes, I'm not asking when I should do it really. Just want to see what you guys think in general.

 

[BoobPhysics101]

How long do you guys take to drop the "love" bomb in a relationship (if you do)? Just a curious question, I haven't with my GF yet. I feel like it isn't too far, I'm definitely "falling in love". I'll say it when the time calls for it obviously.

Exactly 37 days. No more, no less. It is a mathematically sound number to shoot for.

 

[Cubsfan23]

How long do you guys take to drop the "love" bomb in a relationship (if you do)? Just a curious question, I haven't with my GF yet. I feel like it isn't too far, I'm definitely "falling in love". I'll say it when the time calls for it obviously.

after she does

 

[Slayer-33]

Exactly 37 days. No more, no less. It is a mathematically sound number to shoot for.

Hahahha that sounds so legit it's not even funny.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

after she does

I did the same thing basically.

 

[scar tissue]

Vent-Age (WARNING: Post may contain trace amounts of bitterness and hatred)

Some people may remember that I'm pretty bad with the ladies, mainly because of social anxiety.
Anyway, I decided it was time to grow a pair and asked a girl out. No big deal for most people but I'd rather wrestle a fully-grown tiger, armed with only a spear.

So yeah, we met up for a coffee date. While things were fine at first, I soon noticed she was cutting me short all the time and generally talking without a pause.
I'm a talkative guy, but only when I feel at ease. So I basically sat there, occasionally throwing in a sentence or two when she let me, once again feeling like a complete fucking loser.
And holy fuck did she talk. Three main topics soon emerged: how awesomely smart she is, how she used to be bullied so much and how much sexual experience she has.
I was slightly weirded out by the first: I'm a fairly smart guy too but I don't shove it into everyone's face.
Appalled by the second: I was bullied too, and yet I don't complain to everyone. Stop acting like other people don't have any problems.
And disgusted by the third: yeah, I get it. You used to be fat, and guys didn't like you. Then you started not being fat and had lots of sex. Here, take this medal: "attention whore".
To top it all off, she mentioned how hard it is for women to conform to the concept of how a woman should look as seen in the media.
Well, I just threw in a remark about how it ain't easy for men either, because not every guy has a sixpack like the dudes in commercials.
Her reply basically amounted to: "Yeah, but to be slim women have to hunger, which is unhealthy. Any man can get a sixpack by working out, which is healthy too."
Yeah. I'm not even going to post my thoughts on that because I'd get banned again.

In the end, she told me she 'had a good time, even tho you really don't talk much'.
Ugh. Back to being a coward with women it is.

 

[Hylian7]

So I now realized that I was friendzoned by my girlfriend about half-way through the relationship. I developed a bad case of one-itis after I initially played it perfectly to get her (being interesting to talk to, making her laugh, and all while still leaving a sense of mystery about myself since I would never make it explicit that I was interested in her.)

I have the pick up down pretty good, I just don't know how to keep the attraction going. Any tips?

How long was this relationship? That just sounds really ridiculous to me.

 

[theAntagonist]

Long-ish post ahead!:

So guys, I'm not a regular in this thread, but I made a few posts pertaining to a girl I was involved with a few months back. Since then I've moved on from that chick and now have my sights set on another one. There's a few things really holding me back though that maybe you guys can help answer/give advice.

For starters, this girl is stunning in a 'Girl Next Door' type of way. She's smoking hot, but 'cute' if you know what I mean. She's also comes across as very innocent, yet with a sarcastic side to her too.

I, on the other hand, am pretty average in comparison. I'm tall-ish (6'3") but am a little over weight, but I disguise it well. I'm pretty confident overall, but have slight confidence problems over my physicality. I personally think this girl is out of my league, and it's one of the reasons I've not made a real move yet.

Two, I get the feeling that this girl has TONS of guys fighting over her all the time. It's just this gut feeling/suspicion I have. She's this super talented/attractive/smart photographer and I can't help but feel that there's major competition for this chick. So this is sort of a turn off/keeping me from taking things further too.

Now to give a little backstory to my current situation. I sit next to this girl in one of my college courses. We talk pretty regularly in class and we seem to have a pretty good time together. Over the past few weeks I feel like she's been cluing me in to making an effort for her.

For example, we've had the whole 'eye flirt' moment where we kept looking at each other in the eyes. We give each other a hard time and are generally pretty playful. She's also 'punched' me and has given the 'touch' signal in that she's touched me, and from what I understand, that's a pretty big sign.

Now some of you may be saying, "DUDE, go for it!", but I just don't know. Like I mentioned, there's some things holding me back. I sent her a facebook message saying that I had something to ask her, but I'd save it for when I next saw her in person. Well, today I was going to ask her to lunch, but wussed out and didn't. I do have her number now though, and supposedly there is a party this weekend that both of us will be at, so there's that I suppose.

Also, I'm not sure if I should ask her to lunch or dinner. Dinner seems more 'official date', where lunch is more casual and light-hearted. But I definitely don't want to be friendzoned, so I want it to be clear that I'm looking for more than friendship, so I'm not sure.

What do you guys think/have to say?

 

[E-phonk]

What do you guys think/have to say?

Ask her out for a proper date. That means dinner, or another activity.
What do you have to lose? Be bold, go for it!

Vent-Age (WARNING: Post may contain trace amounts of bitterness and hatred)

So you discovered girls (or this girl) isn't so perfect after all. That seems like a good thing to keep in mind next time you are feeling socially anxious. Build confidence from this & learn from it!

 

[MTE]

Long-ish post ahead!:

---

Also, I'm not sure if I should ask her to lunch or dinner. Dinner seems more 'official date', where lunch is more casual and light-hearted. But I definitely don't want to be friendzoned, so I want it to be clear that I'm looking for more than friendship, so I'm not sure.

What do you guys think/have to say?

Dinner. I asked a girl to lunch a short while ago, we went and had a fun time. I asked for dinner, and was shut down.
Don't put yourself in the friendzone. Let her know.

 

[Orgen]

Miguel, I don't know if I should give you a "Thank you" or a "Fuck you" because now I'm listening to your song (Somebody's watching me) nonstop... I'll give you a Thank you just because you seem a cool guy ;D Best of lucks with your next girl when you find her, you did well ditching your last one.

JAJA weird ass situation right now on OKCupid...

I broke it off with my girl about two weeks ago, so I decided to browse around OkCupid to see what I'm missing (I don't even want to go on a date with any girls yet, couldn't care less). I find this really cute girl there, and when I look at all the pictures, I realize I've met the girl, and under weird ass circumstances.

Me and my now ex went out with a friend of hers, this skinny guy that we are always trying to find dates for. We are all happy for him. We get to the bar, and lo and behold this cute ass short chick with great pertruding boobies is the girl he was meeting. I had to give props to he guy, but at the same time me and this girl are kind of eyeing each other, but I'm not about to crash his party. The night goes on, they are making out, I'm making out with my girl, but the guy makes the usual mistake of not letting the girl breathe. Even in the line to the girl's bathroom, the guy is out trying to make out with her. I know her type, and I didn't think then that it would last.

Since that night I always wanted to know about her, meet up with her somewhere, etc etc. I just messaged her so let's see how it goes. The first thing I'll have to do is explain why I am messaging her (since she knows I had a girlfriend last time we met). This should be fun.

I don't know if it's you (with all this avatar change for realpic) but I'm glad to see that you're moving with your life and seeing new girls (IIRC you made a thread about your gf getting mad about the breakup with her ex and not knowing what wanted from your relationship, right?)

And a big applause for Soultron for giving the best advice in this thread by far IMO.

For me (not seeking for advice really, it's more like Orgen tales new chapter) last Friday I went out with my brother and some cousins... and I had a blast! Big family dinner, good food, good drinks and later to the club. I gave my phone number to one gorgeous lady (39yr, 2 sons, divorced, with a boyfriend who wasn't there... yeah, a lot of red flags!) that confessed me that she wasn't satisfied with her boyfriend but she was faithful to him so I had nothing to win that night. Despite that I give her my number and told her that when she eventually ditched her boyfriend she shoul give me a call to fill her satisfaction meter. We'll see what happens... (nothing probably but I had fun nonetheless).

 

[theAntagonist]

Ask her out for a proper date. That means dinner, or another activity.
What do you have to lose? Be bold, go for it!

Dinner. I asked a girl to lunch a short while ago, we went and had a fun time. I asked for dinner, and was shut down.
Don't put yourself in the friendzone. Let her know.

Thanks for the advice guys! I definitely should assert that I'm not looking to be just friends, and by asking her to lunch, I run the risk of not doing that.

Another thing to note, a few weeks back, she actually mentioned one of her guy friends opening up to her and how she didn't have feelings for him in that way. She wanted advice as to what to tell the guy and I told her to tell him straight up and to be honest, yet polite to him. I never asked her how that went, but I should.

 

[johnny_park]

I hate guys like you Orgen. If a girl has a bf move on, you dick.

 

[hawkshockey11]

How long was this relationship? That just sounds really ridiculous to me.

Started in June. We go to colleges 3 hours apart so it was basically doomed to begin with but I though we would have at least lasted the first 2 semesters and summer before things turned. Basically I allowed her to control the relationship because that is how she acted like she wanted ("I'm always right" etc,etc). It came to a point where we would only talk if I initiated and the few times she did send a text or videochat with me was because she had a problem. And to kick it all off she ended it over facebook chat with a "lets just be friends."

Now this was a girl who told me that she wanted exactly the definition of a "nice guy" so she really proved the "nice guy is bad no matter what" thinking that I now adopted.

Edit- Oh also in my one-itis withdrawal I called and talked to her to ask if she wanted to give it another try. This was after a week of no contact. Needless to say I am already going after a girl in my diffy q class. Only one encounter so far but hopefully things will develop.

 

[Combine]

I hate guys like you Orgen. If a girl has a bf move on, you dick.

Not sure I agree. If the girl is genuinely devoted, then she'd brush off Orgen's remarks without further thought and move on. Otherwise, well, can't fault a guy for trying.