Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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Etrian Oddity said:
This is some pretty fucking solid advice, good job.
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agreed.

And some of you guys, I'd suggest to upload other pics, if you allow me. It looks as if you are trying REALLY hard to show everyone its a blast to hang around with you and you are extremely funny but I'd say girls take it as if you are immature (even if you aren't).

besides, changing pics puts you in the spotlight. I changed pics recently and okc tells people I did it, so they click.
 
Everyone says to have multiple pics and such, but I do the exact opposite and it works out quite well for me. On OkC I have a few pictures but on PoF I only have one. I get at least the same amount of messages, if not more, with the PoF account. Same exact profile on both of them too. The pic on PoF is just a generic self shot in the mirror so it's not like it's anything special.

I had a pretty great date that wasn't even an actual date last night. Had been talking to a pretty attractive girl for a while and on a whim I asked her if she wanted to hang out when she got off of work last night. She said yes, so I picked her up and we just drove around for a while and then ended up going back to her place to hang out. Left at like 2 am and when we said goodbye we just made out for a while instead lol.

I've decided to just keep my options open this time around instead of just focusing on one girl right away only to get bit in the ass later on. I'm talking to 5 girls at the same time just to feel things out but I definitely get along more with the one I saw last night. Hopefully things keep up and I won't need to keep my options open.
 
Yo god damn GAF. You guys are serious business.

Okay, well I went and cut that shit up more. I'm surprised saying less is more. I thought the point was to help weed out chicks so those who do message me are similar fits? Personally I don't look at what the friend/match/enemy %'s are, and just scope a pic, read the profile, and if I like what I saw then I message.

Anyways, cut most of it, but we have a slight snag when it comes to the pictures. I can't take a photo worth a shit. I just don't photograph well unfortunately. I left the decent ones, and took out the hallway shots. I had to leave some of the self shots...it's sort of all I have until I snap up a few more maybe this weekend or something.

I'll hit up some action shots of me biking or running.

Also, I missed that drinking conversation, but my stance is I don't care if others drink, but I'm not a drinker. I have an addictive personality and watched my dad struggle his whole life with alcoholism. So yes, drinking matters to me. I don't give 2 shits if a woman is a social drinker, wants to go out on the weekend and get a little tipsy, but if that's EVERY weekend for her, and it spreads to the weekdays, then she's not for me. She just isn't. :/

Edit: Kept the streaking part, dropped the naked jumping jacks. I seriously can't just make this profile 100% vanilla... I want to stand out a little bit for my goofiness.

Double edit: This other girl I started talking to a few days back just messaged me an extremely long message that basically let me know she's seeing some other dude on okcupid and that they made out....ummm.WTF? As in, this went down yesterday.
 
Finally found a chick in my area who:

1. Is within 2 years of my age (28)
2. Only has "long term dating" under her preferences
3. I find attractive
4. She responded to my initial message

We'll see how it goes.

Edit: and we are 87% match
 
Well, if anyone cares (lol I know you don't it just makes me feel better venting here) I'm seeing the girl tomorrow to talk, 12 till 4 is when she is free and seemed to want to meet (I gave the option of just forgetting this and trying again when she is back from holidays, which she goes on next week for a while to America). Also included the first smilie in a text in ages which I found odd (when she went funny she stopped using them at all but when we were good every message had at least one).

I'm taking her wanting to meet up for a talk and lunch as a good sign as she could have easily said 'we can talk on skype later' or 'I'm really busy sorting stuff out before my holiday next week' or anything else. Hopefully I can convince her to try this whole ting again when she's finished with the holiday and hopefully less busy (so we could see each other more regularly).

I probably should just forget her and move on, I bet most normal people would but I've learnt I'm kinda fucked up lol. I probably would if she didn't tick so many boxes. Anyone got any tips to make super sure things go well tomorrow? Like, without sounding desperate/whiny/clingy/begging? I think I've done enough damage with myself but I think I can pass that off as me being pissed for leaving me in the dark (because it is true).

/end livejournal entry

EDIT: Also, she might cancel in the morning or something, just to be a bitch. Wouldn't be the first time she was 100% up for something and then cancelled at the last minute...
 
Zomba13 said:
Well, if anyone cares (lol I know you don't it just makes me feel better venting here) I'm seeing the girl tomorrow to talk, 12 till 4 is when she is free and seemed to want to meet (I gave the option of just forgetting this and trying again when she is back from holidays, which she goes on next week for a while to America). Also included the first smilie in a text in ages which I found odd (when she went funny she stopped using them at all but when we were good every message had at least one).

I'm taking her wanting to meet up for a talk and lunch as a good sign as she could have easily said 'we can talk on skype later' or 'I'm really busy sorting stuff out before my holiday next week' or anything else. Hopefully I can convince her to try this whole ting again when she's finished with the holiday and hopefully less busy (so we could see each other more regularly).

I probably should just forget her and move on, I bet most normal people would but I've learnt I'm kinda fucked up lol. I probably would if she didn't tick so many boxes. Anyone got any tips to make super sure things go well tomorrow? Like, without sounding desperate/whiny/clingy/begging? I think I've done enough damage with myself but I think I can pass that off as me being pissed for leaving me in the dark (because it is true).

/end livejournal entry

EDIT: Also, she might cancel in the morning or something, just to be a bitch. Wouldn't be the first time she was 100% up for something and then cancelled at the last minute...
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Expect the worst so that if it does happen where she cancelled then it won't be so bad
 
Zomba13 said:
Well, if anyone cares (lol I know you don't it just makes me feel better venting here) I'm seeing the girl tomorrow to talk, 12 till 4 is when she is free and seemed to want to meet (I gave the option of just forgetting this and trying again when she is back from holidays, which she goes on next week for a while to America). Also included the first smilie in a text in ages which I found odd (when she went funny she stopped using them at all but when we were good every message had at least one).

I'm taking her wanting to meet up for a talk and lunch as a good sign as she could have easily said 'we can talk on skype later' or 'I'm really busy sorting stuff out before my holiday next week' or anything else. Hopefully I can convince her to try this whole ting again when she's finished with the holiday and hopefully less busy (so we could see each other more regularly).

I probably should just forget her and move on, I bet most normal people would but I've learnt I'm kinda fucked up lol. I probably would if she didn't tick so many boxes. Anyone got any tips to make super sure things go well tomorrow? Like, without sounding desperate/whiny/clingy/begging? I think I've done enough damage with myself but I think I can pass that off as me being pissed for leaving me in the dark (because it is true).

/end livejournal entry

EDIT: Also, she might cancel in the morning or something, just to be a bitch. Wouldn't be the first time she was 100% up for something and then cancelled at the last minute...
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I haven't followed your whole story, but I do seem to think this site brings out like the worst in me in some ways too. :P

The best thing you can do is just refresh your brain and do what you did before you even met her on okcupid. Go back to messaging a few nice women and keep trucking.

The more you push it, the more you will fuck it up. If it isn't naturally taking off, then it isn't meant to be.
 
i gave the "lets meet now" a whirl. Oddly enough, a girl responded not that long after and we met up in downtown. We had cosi and went to the bean. She was actually a pretty nice chick and now we've been texting back and forth. lol.
 
Another dude that keeps harping on how bad he looks and ends up being attractive (as far as I can tell as another straight man) with good eyes.

You guys are bad at self-confidence. It probably isn't your looks that works against you as much as the way you carry yourself.
 
LeadProtagonist said:
Alright, I posted my profile in the dating thread a little while ago, but I'd like some more advice please.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/leadprotagonist

My pictures in particular are probably bad... I'm not photogenic at all (or very good looking for that matter).
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You should change the being sarcastic part because everyone in the world is good at being sarcastic. I would try to stay away from the norms

Might as well throw my profile out there too for comments and critiques:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/BringMeClams
 
I went out today with my first ever okc girl. I actually deleted my profile a couple weeks ago, but I've been chatting with this girl on Skype and text messages and stuff for ages, we only sent a few messages on okc. I was pretty nervous since I figured we'd left it too long in that Skype/SMS stage and built each other up too much, but it went really well I think. I mean, there is no way I'm getting my hopes up, but it wasn't weird, was just really cool. Fingers crossed I guess!
 
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
Another dude that keeps harping on how bad he looks and ends up being attractive (as far as I can tell as another straight man) with good eyes.

You guys are bad at self-confidence. It probably isn't your looks that works against you as much as the way you carry yourself.
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Eh. I guess I'm self-conscious about my height and my teeth... I have fluorosis so they're not white. More of an off white mixed with white spots. Kinda hate it.
 
I made a pof profile a few days ago and I've gotten probably more views than the 6 months I've been on okcupid.

No messages still but 3 out of 3 not very attractive women said they want to meet me!
 
I feel proud of myself tonight. I sent out three complete message to girls in my quiver. I fully expect not to get any reponse, but I know it's a numbers game.
 
Tansut said:
Yo, GAF!

Would y'all mind looking over my profile and giving me any tips on it?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Tansut800

I think it's decent, but I'm sure it's not perfect or anything.
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Your job sounds interesting, use more positive adjectives to help describe it.

These profiles are basically the 'first date', so put some interesting suggestions in your profile of a potential 'second date', not directly "I wanna take you to a romantic seaside spot..." but interesting hobbies/activities you do that she might be interested in joining you on.

Are those age ranges set in the looking for section? If not I would consider carefully if you want to date someone who is 21, reading you profile and being a professor at a university full of 21 year olds I would suggest you might not.
 
Will someone provide a link to see your rating, now that okmirror is no longer available?

Also, let's say for example a girl rates you 4 out of 5 stars and later in the week she is upset because you did not respond to her, thus out of spite she downgrades your rating to 1 star. Do you still maintain the 4/5 stars?
 
Been on and off chatting with the one girl on here. She IS actually going out of town for the summer, but it is just odd that even after I gave her my number she still will only talk to me on OKC. I mean, we really seem to be able to keep the discussion going, but for some reason she wants to keep it in this phase.

I guess for now I'm fine with it because it is just nice to talk to her. I'm sure once she gets back she'll be more open to the idea of progressing with whatever we got started.
 
Unicorn said:
Been on and off chatting with the one girl on here. She IS actually going out of town for the summer, but it is just odd that even after I gave her my number she still will only talk to me on OKC. I mean, we really seem to be able to keep the discussion going, but for some reason she wants to keep it in this phase.

I guess for now I'm fine with it because it is just nice to talk to her. I'm sure once she gets back she'll be more open to the idea of progressing with whatever we got started.
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I actually think that is smart. I am in the same phase with a girl and both of us are going out of town for about five weeks so we are not going to meet before that. We could have one date, maybe two if we hurry. But then don´t meet and maybe not even be able to talk much for over a month is kind of bad that early. Better wait until you have time to really get to know each other.

But then with this other girl I am doing the exact opposite and I´m have a date tonight XD
So what the hell do I know. She asked me out and I felt stupid to decline. She seems nice and she is hot so what the hell. If it works out I´ll take that 8-9 hour long trainride a few extra times during my vacation to see her.
 
BurritoBushido said:
Ah what the hell. Go ahead GAF, tear it apart. Let me know what needs to be done.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/fgr1985
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I don't know much about online dating, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Under the "most private thing you'll admit," i'd consider actually putting something. I'm sure the "if i post something here, it wouldn't be private" is very overused and not all that clever. Put something interesting/fun that won't make you seem like a psycho. It'll help set you apart from the crowd!

Also, in your "you should message me if" section, i'd take out the things you don't like, and try to make it more positive. Say things you're looking for in people, not just what you don't want. Instead of saying "i don't want to talk about sports, but I like playing them" say something like, "You should message me if you're up for a game of ultimate frisbee!"
 
Not sure if anyone's seen this but a guy made ten fake profiles, five men and five women and posted about his results.

http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/

Some interesting tidbits:

After being online for 24 hours, the ten accounts between them had amassed 90 messages. Remember, for this experiment, it was all about unsolicited messages—I sent no messages to anyone and never replied to ones received.

As you can see from the graph above, the women got many times more messages than the men.

• Each woman received at least one message, but the two best looking women received 581% more messages than the other three combined.

• Only one man received any messages
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The other interesting thing was the message he sent.

http://jonmillward.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/the-perfect-online-dating-message.png
 
Okay so I'm convinced this girl is who she says she is. Now it's a matter of not fucking this up, because while I have no problems talking to someone online or in person, I do find transitions to not be my cup of tea. Or maybe it's pacing that is my issue.

I'm raring to go and meet/skype/text/talk on phone, etc. Right now it's been okcupid, and AIM. Conversations are great on there, BUT I'm not sure what is the appropriate time to go to a next step of the things I mentioned. I'm also unsure how to naturally slide it into convo. We did say we want to see spiderman together on the 3rd, but she also said she made plans for 3rd/4th a while ago, but it wasn't anything final, so once she knows about that she'd let me know. Totally respect that as I wouldn't bail on my friends either.

Basically I think we are oh close to 30 messages in, and all but 3-4 have been extremely lengthy. AIM convos have been ~1 and a half to 2 hours. We are definitely clicking.

Any sage advice GAF? One other thing to note is she has been sick she said for the past week or so with a horrendous cough. So when skype was brought up naturally in a convo, she mentioned she wouldn't be able to since she'd cough every 3 seconds. I buy that, because a lady probably wants to be on her A game when she meets a guy she's interested in. Granted I wouldn't care either way lol.

So yeah. What do?
 
I'm interested about the transgender accounts. Thankfully every one that I've seen has made it the first thing they mention in their profile... at least, I'm hoping it was EVERY one.
 
So the date with the cute vet tech yesterday went absolutely fantastic.

One little shitty snag was that due to the tropical storm in Florida, the bridge from me to her was closed, so a 35 minute drive turned into a 90 minute drive. But luckily it was worth it. We saw Prometheus since she hadn't seen it yet, had a blast, then went for a beer afterwards. We sat outside in this cute little courtyard and drank some imported lagers, had some incredible conversation, and before we knew it 3 hours had passed and we went home. Planning the second date very soon.
 
zlatko said:
Okay so I'm convinced this girl is who she says she is. Now it's a matter of not fucking this up, because while I have no problems talking to someone online or in person, I do find transitions to not be my cup of tea. Or maybe it's pacing that is my issue.

I'm raring to go and meet/skype/text/talk on phone, etc. Right now it's been okcupid, and AIM. Conversations are great on there, BUT I'm not sure what is the appropriate time to go to a next step of the things I mentioned. I'm also unsure how to naturally slide it into convo. We did say we want to see spiderman together on the 3rd, but she also said she made plans for 3rd/4th a while ago, but it wasn't anything final, so once she knows about that she'd let me know. Totally respect that as I wouldn't bail on my friends either.

Basically I think we are oh close to 30 messages in, and all but 3-4 have been extremely lengthy. AIM convos have been ~1 and a half to 2 hours. We are definitely clicking.

Any sage advice GAF? One other thing to note is she has been sick she said for the past week or so with a horrendous cough. So when skype was brought up naturally in a convo, she mentioned she wouldn't be able to since she'd cough every 3 seconds. I buy that, because a lady probably wants to be on her A game when she meets a guy she's interested in. Granted I wouldn't care either way lol.

So yeah. What do?
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See if she lets you know, in the mean while, talk to other girls.
 
yet another thing I find EXTREMELY annoying in OCK.

I have my profile currently set as "bisexual" because I am a gay man with curiosity to experiment with heterosexual sex, with a woman of course. I don't lie, everything is there.

I get suggested profiles from women that are looking for "everybody" or "guys who like girls" but that respond with a NO to the question " would you date a bi guy?" or " Would you date someone who has had homosexual sex?"...

isn't there an option for girls to choose "straight men only" as opposed to "guys who like girls" ? as a man I have the option to look for "bi girls" or "straight girls only", all options are pretty accurate. are they stupid? do they just not understand the difference??

same with some profiles from straight guys... I get them suggested because they are looking for "everybody". what the fuck do they mean? is anyone there for sexless friendship?? come on...

very weird.
 
Had a date. didn't go well. neither of us were interested, and she was being a bitch, texting, gave one word answers, and looked at the soccer game. bailed quickly.

The lesson learned for me is: don't go out with someone without messaging a few times first. (In this case, she was the one that sent me a message and asked to meet. I should've picked up on the warning signs when she was so tentative and abrupt with everything.)

Our profiles had a few bullet points in common, but our values and demeanour were worlds apart.

Oh well, lesson learned.
 
GG-Duo said:
Had a date. didn't go well. neither of us were interested, and she was being a bitch, texting, gave one word answers, and looked at the soccer game. bailed quickly.

The lesson learned for me is: don't go out with someone without messaging a few times first. (In this case, she was the one that sent me a message and asked to meet. I should've picked up on the warning signs when she was so tentative and abrupt with everything.)

Our profiles had a few bullet points in common, but our values and demeanour were worlds apart.

Oh well, lesson learned.
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Did she bail on you or did you mutually agree to just end it quickly?

I mean the soccer game was on too.
 
Unicorn said:
Not before you get some evidence.
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A1VrV.png
 
I messaged her back telling her that I thought it sounded interesting and asked what got her into it. Nothing negative. Bad move? Curious to see how she responds.
 
The Xtortionist said:
I messaged her back telling her that I thought it sounded interesting and asked what got her into it. Nothing negative. Bad move? Curious to see how she responds.
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I saw a girl on there too that had the same gig, and while her profile was normal enough, it then had an area for links to get a hold of her to cam....so really sites like this might be just methods to get more customers.

Even if it isn't I definitely am not cool with a girl I'd be into showing her bits to strangers online. That's just me though.

Edit: What's the rules on putting up a pic with you and another girl in it? It's a decent pic of me with my friend, but not sure if that just would make girls feel jealous or some weird shit.
 
Everytime I see a pic with someone of the opposite sex, my gut reaction is that it is either their current SO or an ex. When I click pics and see it is actually a sibling or friend, I still have that bad taste in my mouth. Don't know how girls feel when they see that stuff though.
 
The Xtortionist said:
I messaged her back telling her that I thought it sounded interesting and asked what got her into it. Nothing negative. Bad move? Curious to see how she responds.
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Girls who do that have low self esteem. That's pretty much the bottom line. Camwhores are literally modern day prostitutes. Yeah they might not be taking in a dick for money, but they are spreading their pussy apart for hundreds of guys to jerk off to. Yeah if you're not really into doing anything serious, this could be a cool thing for you. But if you're looking for love, you can probably figure it out.
 
Ryaaan14 said:
Girls who do that have low self esteem. That's pretty much the bottom line. Camwhores are literally modern day prostitutes. Yeah they might not be taking in a dick for money, but they are spreading their pussy apart for hundreds of guys to jerk off to. Yeah if you're not really into doing anything serious, this could be a cool thing for you. But if you're looking for love, you can probably figure it out.
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What the fuck?
 
Ryaaan14 said:
Girls who do that have low self esteem. That's pretty much the bottom line. Camwhores are literally modern day prostitutes. Yeah they might not be taking in a dick for money, but they are spreading their pussy apart for hundreds of guys to jerk off to. Yeah if you're not really into doing anything serious, this could be a cool thing for you. But if you're looking for love, you can probably figure it out.
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lol I'm pretty sure modern day prostitutes are still called prostitutes.
 
Ryaaan14 said:
Girls who do that have low self esteem. That's pretty much the bottom line. Camwhores are literally modern day prostitutes. Yeah they might not be taking in a dick for money, but they are spreading their pussy apart for hundreds of guys to jerk off to. Yeah if you're not really into doing anything serious, this could be a cool thing for you. But if you're looking for love, you can probably figure it out.
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uE6Cd.gif
 
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