The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Holy shit. That was terrible. I'm honestly trying to figure out more ways that they could have screwed that up.
Things I liked:
-The opening plane hijacking was pretty balling
-Meeting Catwoman is the best introduction that character has ever had.
-The doctor telling Bruce how fucked up his body is
-Lucius Fox and Alfred were both true to their character
-Bane breaks Batman's back
-Bane's voice sounds like Sean Connery talking through a vocoder.
Things I didn't like (in rough descending order of importance):
-This was not a Batman movie. Batman is onscreen for perhaps half an hour total. This would be fine if the movie was about exploring Bruce's relationship with Batman but its not, outside of a few heavy-handed attempts with Alfred.
-The final moments of the movie completely contradict each other, in a way that's so laughably oblivious I cannot believe they wrote it. I'm deadly serious when I say that this really bothers me: Bruce says goodbye to Gordon by saying "it doesn't matter who I am, the point is that it could have been anyone". Then he flies off in his Batcopter to drop the nuke over the bay. No Bruce, not anyone could have done it. Not anyone could have had access to a fucking Batcopter and millions of dollars of other types of technology.
-Bane goes nowhere as a character. I had extremely high hopes for Bane. Absolutely none of them were met.
-The entire population of the city goes far too easily from "holy shit he is threatening to nuke us" to "tear down the palaces of the bourgeois and piss on their tapestries!".
-The plot twist is completely nonsensical. Its not clever to suddenly reveal Selina's true identity when there has been literally nothing even suggesting at the possible potential of anything like that. Its cheap, plain and simple.
-Anything to do with Robin. Sorry JGL, I like you, but you did nothing in this movie. Every meaningful thing they tried to have you do was heavy-handed and shallow.
-You know what, every meaningful thing the entire movie tried to do was heavy-handed and shallow.
-Plot holes! Most noticeably: Bruce climbs out of a pit in the desert and then somehow gets into Gotham despite the fact that its on lockdown? Did he just summon his Batcopter and fly in despite being one of the least subtle vehicles ever designed?
-They aren't even trying to disguise Gotham anymore. Batman Begins created an amazing Gotham. TDK featured some night shots that were blatantly Chicago, but if you didn't live in Chicago you might not recognize them. But Manhattan fucking Island?
-Lets send all of the police into an underground tunnel system that has been controlled by hostile forces for quite some time. Have you learned nothing from Vietnam?
-Bane goes out with a whimper.
-Too much exposition. "Hey, are you talking about/do you have X?" "Yes, I have X which contains features Y and Z which you know full well about but the audience doesn't"
-Not once. Not twice. But four times that I counted they featured the shot of Batman with his head listlessly to the side, his mouth open, and his eyes glassy. I literally laughed for five straight minutes on the way home from the theater remembering that expression. No-one in editing said "hm, perhaps in some of the most dramatic scenes of the movie Batman shouldn't look like he's high on painkillers?"
-Prison sequence is meaningless. Its some random scenes thrown in to the Gotham action to remind us that Bruce is still in the movie. He learns nothing, he doesn't grow as a character in any way that isn't laughably cliche, and like most of the movie they're dropped in with a seemingly random sense of pacing.
Things I liked:
-The opening plane hijacking was pretty balling
-Meeting Catwoman is the best introduction that character has ever had.
-The doctor telling Bruce how fucked up his body is
-Lucius Fox and Alfred were both true to their character
-Bane breaks Batman's back
-Bane's voice sounds like Sean Connery talking through a vocoder.
Things I didn't like (in rough descending order of importance):
-This was not a Batman movie. Batman is onscreen for perhaps half an hour total. This would be fine if the movie was about exploring Bruce's relationship with Batman but its not, outside of a few heavy-handed attempts with Alfred.
-The final moments of the movie completely contradict each other, in a way that's so laughably oblivious I cannot believe they wrote it. I'm deadly serious when I say that this really bothers me: Bruce says goodbye to Gordon by saying "it doesn't matter who I am, the point is that it could have been anyone". Then he flies off in his Batcopter to drop the nuke over the bay. No Bruce, not anyone could have done it. Not anyone could have had access to a fucking Batcopter and millions of dollars of other types of technology.
-Bane goes nowhere as a character. I had extremely high hopes for Bane. Absolutely none of them were met.
-The entire population of the city goes far too easily from "holy shit he is threatening to nuke us" to "tear down the palaces of the bourgeois and piss on their tapestries!".
-The plot twist is completely nonsensical. Its not clever to suddenly reveal Selina's true identity when there has been literally nothing even suggesting at the possible potential of anything like that. Its cheap, plain and simple.
-Anything to do with Robin. Sorry JGL, I like you, but you did nothing in this movie. Every meaningful thing they tried to have you do was heavy-handed and shallow.
-You know what, every meaningful thing the entire movie tried to do was heavy-handed and shallow.
-Plot holes! Most noticeably: Bruce climbs out of a pit in the desert and then somehow gets into Gotham despite the fact that its on lockdown? Did he just summon his Batcopter and fly in despite being one of the least subtle vehicles ever designed?
-They aren't even trying to disguise Gotham anymore. Batman Begins created an amazing Gotham. TDK featured some night shots that were blatantly Chicago, but if you didn't live in Chicago you might not recognize them. But Manhattan fucking Island?
-Lets send all of the police into an underground tunnel system that has been controlled by hostile forces for quite some time. Have you learned nothing from Vietnam?
-Bane goes out with a whimper.
-Too much exposition. "Hey, are you talking about/do you have X?" "Yes, I have X which contains features Y and Z which you know full well about but the audience doesn't"
-Not once. Not twice. But four times that I counted they featured the shot of Batman with his head listlessly to the side, his mouth open, and his eyes glassy. I literally laughed for five straight minutes on the way home from the theater remembering that expression. No-one in editing said "hm, perhaps in some of the most dramatic scenes of the movie Batman shouldn't look like he's high on painkillers?"
-Prison sequence is meaningless. Its some random scenes thrown in to the Gotham action to remind us that Bruce is still in the movie. He learns nothing, he doesn't grow as a character in any way that isn't laughably cliche, and like most of the movie they're dropped in with a seemingly random sense of pacing.
