Support NeoGAF

[Devolution]

This is super relevant to most of the forever alone dudes that have been posting in here. Most of them have talked about how they have few friends as well, so it makes their loneliness harder. Friendships don't rely on looks, so even if they're going to be down about their dating chances, they should still work on their personality if even just to make more friends.

I dated a girl once that everyone told me was too unattractive for me. I didn't give a fuck because she was hilarious and had a bright personality that made her so much fun to talk to and be around.

I often hear excuses that relay to me someone shouldn't even be trying to date like "oh I'm in a bad place right now", so why are you dating? Or "I always get rejected", if you're letting your odds of rejection fuck up a newly established connection/relationship, isn't that just a self-fulfilling prophecy?

 

[DominoKid]

Looks matter a lot, I don't know why you guys like to think any different. If you're ugly, it'll be hard for you to get any attention from women, that's a fact.

Do ugly women ever get your attention? I feel like it should be insulting to women that as men we demand attractive women but we just think women will go for any slob as long as he's interesting. Uhh, no. Women have some taste. Not all women's taste is the same, but they have to find you physically attractive.

Looks do matter. IDGAF what anybody says. Looks are the first barrier. I used to think otherwise, but after you get rebuffed (either vocally or just a reaction of disgust that I would even think to approach them) enough times before you even get a word out, it changes how you think about it. The thing is, like other folks have mentioned, is that there's no consistent opinion on male attractiveness like there is about women. Women are a fuckload more complex than us when it comes to that.

I consider myself a good-looking, well-dressed person. When I look in the mirror, I'm like "MMMMMM DAMN!" (based gawwwwwd lmao).
Of course I put a lot of time/effort into my appearance through grooming, style choices and exercise. The thing is though, if you asked me if I thought women found me attractive in general, I'd have to say no. Maybe I'm incepting myself or I'm just shooting out of my league*. But that's how I really feel just based off my experiences.

*IDK what "my league" would be, but apparently it's not whatever the hell I've been aiming at.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Looks do matter. IDGAF what anybody says. Looks are the first barrier. I used to think otherwise, but after you get rebuffed (either vocally or just a reaction of disgust that I would even think to approach them) enough times before you even get a word out, it changes how you think about it. The thing is, like other folks have mentioned, is that there's no consistent opinion on male attractiveness like there is about women. Women are a fuckload more complex than us when it comes to that.

I consider myself a good-looking, well-dressed person. When I look in the mirror, I'm like "MMMMMM DAMN!" (based gawwwwwd lmao).
Of course I put a lot of time/effort into my appearance through grooming, style choices and exercise. The thing is though, if you asked me if I thought women found me attractive in general, I'd have to say no. Maybe I'm incepting myself or I'm just shooting out of my league*. But that's how I really feel just based off my experiences.

*IDK what "my league" would be, but apparently it's not whatever the hell I've been aiming at.

From what I've seen ugly guys that are more tough/badass seem to still get respect and admiration. For instance I'd rather be an ugly guy who is buff with tattoos and stuff than a pale nerdy looking ugly man.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

From what I've seen ugly guys that are more tough/badass seem to still get respect and admiration. For instance I'd rather be an ugly guy who is buff with tattoos and stuff than a pale nerdy looking ugly man.

Yes. This may be why the failing is happening so much here.

Being ugly isn't a problem, and ugly dudes everywhere have figured out ways to get attention in other ways. But being nerdy and awkward will always be a problem no matter how good you look.

 

[ecurbj]

I hear "ugly" a lot in this thread. What defines ugly? Health? A disoriented face? Fat? Skinny? Pimples on face?

 

[Hypereides]

I hear "ugly" a lot in this thread. What defines ugly? Health? A disoriented face? Fat? Skinny? Pimples on face?

No one is really ugly. There's no definition of beauty or ugliness, besides what the media or whatever wants us to think. But there are people who mistreat themselves and dont take care of themselves.

I know that some women Im attracted to would be deemed unattractive to others but thats my preference.

Everybody has their own preference, and thats pretty much what I believe in my opinion.

 

[Log4Girlz]

No one is really ugly.

I have met some pretty ugly people.

 

[Hypereides]

I have met some pretty ugly people.

I prefer the term unattractive.

Maybe they arent your cup of tea, but they might be for some one else.

Personalities can be ugly though imo, Ive come across some people with hideous personalities.

 

[ecurbj]

No one is really ugly. There's no definition of beauty or ugliness, besides what the media or whatever wants us to think. But there are people who mistreat themselves and dont take care of themselves.

I know that some women Im attracted to would be deemed unattractive to others but thats my preference.

Everybody has their own preference, and thats pretty much what I believe in my opinion.

I prefer the term unattractive.

Maybe they arent your cup of tea, but they might be for some one else.

Personalities can be ugly though imo, Ive come across some people with hideous personalities.

Exactly my point. Attraction is subjective. Everyone has different tastes.

 

[Minamu]

What do you mean?

I know you're trying to be all positive with the whole looks don't matter thing. But lets be honest here. They do matter somewhat. Thats the first thing people notice.

I mean, men and women think differently about it and women value other things in men more or differently. Most men sort their women on a 1/10 beauty scale and it's more often than not the most important factor in whether they want to have sex with a woman or not. Most women aren't wired in that way. For men the physical appearance has perhaps the most impact on a person's attractiveness in their eyes while women tend to value other things that raise the perceived attractiveness. In other words, a man is much more likely to turn down a woman with small breasts (if he likes them bigger) than a woman is likely to turn down a fat balded man. It's superficial as hell but it's also because of cave man genetics.

I know what you're trying to say here and I appreciate it, but I'm going to have to respectfully agree to disagree with you on this one. I'd say that looks really matter to girls, infact the girls I've been meeting (dating site girls) it seems to be a huge deal. I'd say 90% of all girls I've spoken to have wanted to know all details about my pics on these sites, which one is most recent, what my hair is like at the moment, which pic do I look most like right now, etc. Don't get me wrong, I realise they want to know what I look like, but i wouldn't feel comfortable interrogating a girl in such a detailed manner due to the obvious emphasis on looks above all else that might portray. I guess they can afford to be picky on these sites with all types of guys wanting to meet them, I don't know. But what I do know is looks have a huge factor on whether girls want to date you or not.. And even if your pics pass the 'picky' test, your looks in real life still may not match their lofty expectations, as I have personally found out multiple times this year!.. And it's this which I feel I need to address because until then, I don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Well, like I said, if you believe that looks are important to women, then that's precisely what you will experience in life. If that's how all women act on dating sites, then why haven't I ever gotten such questions? It's just not part of my belief and reality, but it is a part of yours. I'm not saying that looks don't matter *at all* to women, but if people have let's say, three criteria that partners must fulfill, for men physical appearance is going to have a higher percentage in general.

 

[Minamu]

Heh, first dp.

Kung Fu Grip, as long as you tell yourself that you are ugly or admit to being "well below" a 10 in looks, you will be perceived as ugly. Simple as.

And if you are an average joe who can't make the girls turn their head around in public to check you out, stop being an average joe if that's important to you. This is where you say that impossible or too hard or you dont know how. But that's all just lame excuses for not making an effort (that goes for more than just you of course). It is NOT an insurmountable task.

Edit: Jenna has some interesting points about nice guys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI&feature=player_embedded

 

[Baconbitz]

So date her, what's the problem? You're gonna pass on someone that can end up being the love of your life and be right by your side as you die of natural causes at 104 years old because things "might" turn sour?

Who cares man, live it up.

The problem is I work with her and the "policy" is no dating coworkers and as mentioned before I know the consequences of doing that. I'm not one to just jump in head first unless I know the coast is clear and it's safe.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Edit: Jenna has some interesting points about nice guys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI&feature=player_embedded

Holy shit, after subjecting myself to that I'm pretty sure of one thing. I bet Jenna has a really fucking annoying boyfriend!!

Spoiler

In all seriousness, she makes interesting points, as you said.. But I wouldn't say that is the case for every relationship ever. I've known quite a few people who are total opposites who have relationships, have kids, get married, etc.. What about opposites attract!! Haha she does have a point, but nothing is as clear cut as that. Unfortunately!

 

[MVP]

The problem is I work with her and the "policy" is no dating coworkers and as mentioned before I know the consequences of doing that. I'm not one to just jump in head first unless I know the coast is clear and it's safe.

So be discreet and make sure she is. If that's not possible, then just don't date her.

 

[Tex117]

Just got home. It went well I think. Going on a date with her tomorrow. Just me and her.

You did fine then...good work

 

[DyTonic]

Any girl is easily approachable in my eyes, the probably is who is really worth my time..

 

[bjb]

So GAF I could use some advice. Someone to talk some sense into me perhaps.

My Ex and I split after three years together months ago. We went without talking for a long while. I caught her in a plethora of lies post-breakup. Mostly to do with her spending time / being intimate with a close friend of mine. Who also lied about the entire ordeal too, as well as being a major prick in the process. Even after I tried to talk to him about it.

When she got back in touch with me - she told me that she still had feelings for me, and wanted to sort them out. Hoping we could remain friends as well.

I told her I would like to remain friends too. No expectations about us ever getting back together. Just being good too each other since we used to be best friends. I did, however, tell her that I didn't have any space in my life (friend or otherwise) for someone who keeps lying, or is continuing to pursue anything with a person who hurt me - a guy who for the most part that really betrayed my trust like she did. At first she told me she would never talk to him again. Now I've come to find out (through more lying) that while the past month has been really great between the two of us, she is still contacting him regularly.

At this point I really just want to move on completely and never speak to her again. Ever. In my opinion, someone who continues to lie like her is obviously not very respectful, nor has much consideration for anyone else but herself. Her excuse is that she didn't want to hurt me by telling the truth, and that I'm being unfair to set conditions / ultimatums on our current relationship.

So GAF do you think my position is wrong?

 

[Count Dookkake]

Walk away; don't look back.

 

[Neki]

Ok, this girl makes me wanna date her. She screams my name everytime I see her. We flirt. I understand the reprucutions but....ugh I wanna date her.

Do it then. Unless this is actually a serious job in your career, even then, you only live once. And I mean that phrase, and I don't mean stupid YOLO shit. fucking yolo. If this is some shitty part time job and you think she's the one, then try making it work, if it doesn't work, who cares, you find a new job or you keep it discrete it enough to keep your job, but at least you tried.

@bjb
if this lying is a huge issue for you, it looks like she'll never get over it. if she can't even do something as simple as stop contacting this person, which means a lot to you, then you need to leave her.

 

[MVP]

So GAF I could use some advice. Someone to talk some sense into me perhaps.

My Ex and I split after three years together months ago. We went without talking for a long while. I caught her in a plethora of lies post-breakup. Mostly to do with her spending time / being intimate with a close friend of mine. Who also lied about the entire ordeal too, as well as being a major prick in the process. Even after I tried to talk to him about it.

When she got back in touch with me - she told me that she still had feelings for me, and wanted to sort them out. Hoping we could remain friends as well.

I told her I would like to remain friends too. No expectations about us ever getting back together. Just being good too each other since we used to be best friends. I did, however, tell her that I didn't have any space in my life (friend or otherwise) for someone who keeps lying, or is continuing to pursue anything with a person who hurt me - a guy who for the most part that really betrayed my trust like she did. At first she told me she would never talk to him again. Now I've come to find out (through more lying) that while the past month has been really great between the two of us, she is still contacting him regularly.

At this point I really just want to move on completely and never speak to her again. Ever. In my opinion, someone who continues to lie like her is obviously not very respectful, nor has much consideration for anyone else but herself. Her excuse is that she didn't want to hurt me by telling the truth, and that I'm being unfair to set conditions / ultimatums on our current relationship.

So GAF do you think my position is wrong?

If you guys broke up, then she doesn't need to stop talking to that other guy. It's good you broke up because she obviously cheated/planned on it, but now that it's been over for some time now, you really have no say in who she talks to. If it bothers you, you shouldn't really be talking to her anymore.

 

[Decado]

So GAF do you think my position is wrong?

You've been too patient/understanding, IMO. Get her out of your life *now*.

 

[Omegasquash]

So GAF I could use some advice. Someone to talk some sense into me perhaps.

My Ex and I split after three years together months ago. We went without talking for a long while. I caught her in a plethora of lies post-breakup. Mostly to do with her spending time / being intimate with a close friend of mine. Who also lied about the entire ordeal too, as well as being a major prick in the process. Even after I tried to talk to him about it.

When she got back in touch with me - she told me that she still had feelings for me, and wanted to sort them out. Hoping we could remain friends as well.

I told her I would like to remain friends too. No expectations about us ever getting back together. Just being good too each other since we used to be best friends. I did, however, tell her that I didn't have any space in my life (friend or otherwise) for someone who keeps lying, or is continuing to pursue anything with a person who hurt me - a guy who for the most part that really betrayed my trust like she did. At first she told me she would never talk to him again. Now I've come to find out (through more lying) that while the past month has been really great between the two of us, she is still contacting him regularly.

At this point I really just want to move on completely and never speak to her again. Ever. In my opinion, someone who continues to lie like her is obviously not very respectful, nor has much consideration for anyone else but herself. Her excuse is that she didn't want to hurt me by telling the truth, and that I'm being unfair to set conditions / ultimatums on our current relationship.

So GAF do you think my position is wrong?

Your position is spot on...you took the high road. Also, she says you're being unfair, when she was the one that lied to you. Lots.

Don't speak to this gal any more...you're far better of without her.

 

[Pastry]

So GAF I could use some advice. Someone to talk some sense into me perhaps.

My Ex and I split after three years together months ago. We went without talking for a long while. I caught her in a plethora of lies post-breakup. Mostly to do with her spending time / being intimate with a close friend of mine. Who also lied about the entire ordeal too, as well as being a major prick in the process. Even after I tried to talk to him about it.

When she got back in touch with me - she told me that she still had feelings for me, and wanted to sort them out. Hoping we could remain friends as well.

I told her I would like to remain friends too. No expectations about us ever getting back together. Just being good too each other since we used to be best friends. I did, however, tell her that I didn't have any space in my life (friend or otherwise) for someone who keeps lying, or is continuing to pursue anything with a person who hurt me - a guy who for the most part that really betrayed my trust like she did. At first she told me she would never talk to him again. Now I've come to find out (through more lying) that while the past month has been really great between the two of us, she is still contacting him regularly.

At this point I really just want to move on completely and never speak to her again. Ever. In my opinion, someone who continues to lie like her is obviously not very respectful, nor has much consideration for anyone else but herself. Her excuse is that she didn't want to hurt me by telling the truth, and that I'm being unfair to set conditions / ultimatums on our current relationship.

So GAF do you think my position is wrong?

She lost the right to be friends/talk to you the second she stabbed you in the back. Never talk to her again and move on. I'm in a relatively similar situation to you at the moment. Recently out of a 3.5 year relationship and I am cutting all ties and moving on. She insisted she wanted to be friends, fuck that she lost that right.

 

[DyTonic]

I prefer the term unattractive.

Maybe they arent your cup of tea, but they might be for some one else.

Personalities can be ugly though imo, Ive come across some people with hideous personalities.

To me ugly is more like a feeling. Everyone has their own thing, I just say " not my type.."

 

[Jackben]

bjb
your only mistake was resuming contact with her in the first place after you knew about her lies. Don't waste your time trying to educate her "im done with you because blah blah blah" or ask her why she lied. She likely already knows and made that choice, so leave it alone.

Do what you should have done in the first place: no contact, end of. No facebook friending or passing messages through other friends or discussing why you are in the right here for cutting contact. None. Don't feed a single bit into it or you're just asking to get sucked back into more drama.

---

General Dating-Age tip of the day: don't mistake depression for loneliness.

 

[TimeEffect]

Any girl is easily approachable in my eyes, the probably is who is really worth my time..

I wish I had your eyes, then

 

[bjb]

Thanks for the feedback guys. It's refreshing to hear other people's opinions and perspective.

If you guys broke up, then she doesn't need to stop talking to that other guy. It's good you broke up because she obviously cheated/planned on it, but now that it's been over for some time now, you really have no say in who she talks to. If it bothers you, you shouldn't really be talking to her anymore.

I can't imagine anyone would be entirely comfortable with their Ex being with a close friend? Maybe after a long time has elapsed or you're in another relationship. It's complicated and quite frankly pretty awkward. And you're right - I know it's not my place to tell her what she can and can't do. In fact, I even told her when I first learned about them, that if she was just honest with me about whatever was happening, then I would understand. After all I really just want her to be happy. Especially considering I broke up with her. It was only after all the lying started (dishonesty from both of them) that things really bothered me.

She lost the right to be friends/talk to you the second she stabbed you in the back. Never talk to her again and move on. I'm in a relatively similar situation to you at the moment. Recently out of a 3.5 year relationship and I am cutting all ties and moving on. She insisted she wanted to be friends, fuck that she lost that right.

Ugh that sucks man. I wouldn't wish situations like this on anyone. If you ever need someone to talk / vent with - hit me up through PM's. Sounds like our situations have pretty similar dynamics.

 

[Tex117]

So GAF I could use some advice. Someone to talk some sense into me perhaps.

My Ex and I split after three years together months ago. We went without talking for a long while. I caught her in a plethora of lies post-breakup. Mostly to do with her spending time / being intimate with a close friend of mine. Who also lied about the entire ordeal too, as well as being a major prick in the process. Even after I tried to talk to him about it.

When she got back in touch with me - she told me that she still had feelings for me, and wanted to sort them out. Hoping we could remain friends as well.

I told her I would like to remain friends too. No expectations about us ever getting back together. Just being good too each other since we used to be best friends. I did, however, tell her that I didn't have any space in my life (friend or otherwise) for someone who keeps lying, or is continuing to pursue anything with a person who hurt me - a guy who for the most part that really betrayed my trust like she did. At first she told me she would never talk to him again. Now I've come to find out (through more lying) that while the past month has been really great between the two of us, she is still contacting him regularly.

At this point I really just want to move on completely and never speak to her again. Ever. In my opinion, someone who continues to lie like her is obviously not very respectful, nor has much consideration for anyone else but herself. Her excuse is that she didn't want to hurt me by telling the truth, and that I'm being unfair to set conditions / ultimatums on our current relationship.

So GAF do you think my position is wrong?

Forgive me if I am mistaken, but didn't you post about your situation before?

Didn't we all say this is what would happen?

You need to walk. Seriously. NO CONTACT. Dont fall for that best friends shit. Yall arent. That simple. Walk away.

 

[DyTonic]

I wish I had your eyes, then

Idgaf that's why girls like me and are shocked at my confidence/presence when I do my thing. I have my type, but I don't understand why people feel everyone is off limits.

Only time I do feel nervous if it's an older women who seems well off.

 

[Pastry]

Ugh that sucks man. I wouldn't wish situations like this on anyone. If you ever need someone to talk / vent with - hit me up through PM's. Sounds like our situations have pretty similar dynamics.

Likewise, let me know if you need anything. Our situations sound pretty similar. It's going to be tough cutting contact but in the end you will be better for it.

 

[bjb]

Forgive me if I am mistaken, but didn't you post about your situation before?

Didn't we all say this is what would happen?

You need to walk. Seriously. NO CONTACT. Dont fall for that best friends shit. Yall arent. That simple. Walk away.

Eh yeah = /

I had been doing really well for awhile. Then she got back in touch with me. Go figure.

 

[electricshake]

Eh yeah = /

I had been doing really well for awhile. Then she got back in touch with me. Go figure.

I know this feeling, my ex texted me on Tuesday night, threw me in a loop. I told him I didn't want to play stupid games and was deleting his number so I could move on and forget about him. He said he was sorry and wouldn't bother me. I know it was the right thing to do but now I can't stop thinking about him. I thought I was getting over him, but it turns out I still have feelings for him. I hate feeling like this

 

[Tex117]

Eh yeah = /

I had been doing really well for awhile. Then she got back in touch with me. Go figure.

Oh no worries...we have all relapsed.

But maybe this time you will heed our advice due to how well we predicted all of this to go.

She is still playing you like a fiddle.

Walk man...Save your dignity...get yourself back straightened out.

 

[Jhoan]

I got the note taker chick's number after an awkward exchange in which she didn't get the hint so I flat out asked her for it. She said I could study with her. After hangong out with her for an hour after class, it turns out we have way more in common than I thought; she majored in English herself at the alma mater. I'm also supposed to be her guide according to her (half serious-half joking).

What do I do next guys? I suppose ask her out for the weekend? I'm inexperienced when it comes to these things; last time I blew it by being too needy so I learned my lesson. I don't want to sleep on it, but I certainly don't want to blow it.

Also, there was a chick that I was eyeing in the hall way but I kept thinking about it too much. Unfortunately, I turned into GAF Man as a result; I wanted to do it, but there was something holding me back. I regret not doing it once she got up and left. My friend told me he would've winged for me (he was with me).

 

[XenodudeX]

I hear "ugly" a lot in this thread. What defines ugly? Health? A disoriented face? Fat? Skinny? Pimples on face?

Do you think this is ugly?

 

[ecurbj]

Do you think this is ugly?

No person in the human race looks like that. Let's me real.

Clearly photoshopped and all.

 

[Cubsfan23]

A great vibe will make up for any shortcomings, that a girl may or may not have against you looks wise.


in other words, if you're "not her type", you become her type with a great vibe


It's all in your energy, beliefs, etc

 

[thestopsign]

Just got into a pledge class of a frat on campus. Really well respected frat by all accounts (half engineers!), girls actually love us as we are the guys on campus they want to "bring home to their parents", never had any serious run-ins with hazing, and I know a lot of the pledge class already. Gonna be a good next three years!

 

[Etrian Oddity]

A great vibe will make up for any shortcomings, that a girl may or may not have against you looks wise.


in other words, if you're "not her type", you become her type with a great vibe


It's all in your energy, beliefs, etc

Not if sex is all they care about.

 

[Jhoan]

Just got into a pledge class of a frat on campus. Really well respected frat by all accounts (half engineers!), girls actually love us as we are the guys on campus they want to "bring home to their parents", never had any serious run-ins with hazing, and I know a lot of the pledge class already. Gonna be a good next three years!

Good luck man. Fraternities have some relatively pricey dues to pay, but you can meet a lot people through it such as professionals, sorority girls, girls that your bros may know, and the like. They also host a lot parties. My fraternity doesn't haze either and it has the cheapest dues of all the fraternities on campus.

If I can give you a word of advice, it's not to rely on your boys to meet people all the time; remember, you're on your own once you enter a class room (unless you have a few bros as classmates). You're encouraged to join clubs so befriend people and meet chicks independently when you're not wearing letters and with your bros. I'm a founding father of one myself, but I don't take it as seriously as some of the other guys do. The guys all all right but I'm undecided about whether to stay or quit once we cross since I only joined 2 months ago. Be sure to pay your semester dues ASAP as well as log in some volunteer hours and attend the meetings.

Any way, I'm going to quote this for the new page so I can get some thoughts on it:

I got the note taker chick's number after an awkward exchange in which she didn't get the hint so I flat out asked her for it. She said I could study with her. After hangong out with her for an hour after class, it turns out we have way more in common than I thought; she majored in English herself at the alma mater. I'm also supposed to be her guide according to her (half serious-half joking).

What do I do next guys? I suppose ask her out for the weekend? I'm inexperienced when it comes to these things; last time I blew it by being too needy so I learned my lesson. I don't want to sleep on it, but I certainly don't want to blow it.

Also, there was a chick that I was eyeing in the hall way but I kept thinking about it too much. Unfortunately, I turned into GAF Man as a result; I wanted to do it, but there was something holding me back. I regret not doing it once she got up and left. My friend told me he would've winged for me (he was with me).

I also forgot to add that the note taker chick also wanted my FB, but I jokingly said she wants to know everything about me so soon and whisked her away to her class.

 

[KlotePino]

Not to be bringing up the whole discussion about ugly again but I recently burned through season 1-4 of Friday Night Lights and I thought it was the first show/movie to really sell me on ,light spoilers about a plotline for the show ahead:

Spoiler

an objectively ugly guy getting the girl. I totally began to understand why Tyra and Jess like Landry and even (attempt) to love him. I especially liked how they casted someone that didn't just need a make-over to suddenly look like a stud. Anyway I also began to understand the dilemma that Tyra faces with social acceptance and her general confusion about her relationship with Landry. I was just wondering if anyone'd seen the show and if so what their thoughts were on the romance between Landry and Jess/Tyra. I just thought it was a very realistic portrayal of girls dealing with the issues of dating who's someone considered ugly.

I think it's a fantastic show in general, can't believe it didn't do well in the US because it actually got me excited about American Football. Got me to check out if I had a local team here .

 

[thestopsign]

Good luck man. Fraternities have some relatively pricey dues to pay, but you can meet a lot people through it such as professionals, sorority girls, girls that your bros may know, and the like. They also host a lot parties. My fraternity doesn't haze either and it has the cheapest dues of all the fraternities on campus.

If I can give you a word of advice, it's not to rely on your boys to meet people all the time; remember, you're on your own once you enter a class room (unless you have a few bros as classmates). You're encouraged to join clubs so befriend people and meet chicks independently when you're not wearing letters and with your bros. I'm a founding father of one myself, but I don't take it seriously as some of the other guys do. The guys all all right but I'm undecided about whether to stay or quit once we cross since I only joined 2 months ago. Be sure to pay your semester dues ASAP as well as log in some volunteer hours and attend the meetings.

Thanks for the advice. I definitely didn't go into this decision blind. Rush is sophomore year for everyone at my school, so we get a year to do research into it and ultimately it makes it a lot more common at school. I'm already involved with a good number of programs on campus and I'm an engineer, so I have plenty of time commitments outside of just fraternity stuff. I have a good idea how far I'm gonna take this.

 

[waypoetic]

I agree with what Jenna Marbles said in that YT-video. My problem is that i've dated alot of hot girls, even had some as girlfriends - so, Now i'm picky as fffffuuuuck and i'm all like "nope, nope, NOOOO.. nope, NO!".

I'm waiting for ms charming with a perfect ass. I'm waiting...

 

[Vesmir]

Dating-age! From the okc thread:

Newly single and expanding my options to online dating...not too much time/patience for the bar scene. Tear my profile apart. Thanks!
Http://www.okcupid.com/profile/vesmir

It's interesting being both single and actually wanting a relationship. Guess I'm growing up.

 

[FrigidEh]

I had two girlfriends in high school. One lasted 4 months, the other 9. I ended up treating both of them like crap, pushed them away, and eventually broke up with them. I'm heading into univeristy now I don't want to treat girls like this anymore. Anyone have any possible reasons why I did this and how I can avoid doing this in the future?

 

[Pastry]

I had two girlfriends in high school. One lasted 4 months, the other 9. I ended up treating both of them like crap, pushed them away, and eventually broke up with them. I'm heading into univeristy now I don't want to treat girls like this anymore. Anyone have any possible reasons why I did this and how I can avoid doing this in the future?

Could it have anything to do with your family history? Do your parents have a stable relationship? I feel like sometimes that can affect a person's view of relationships and love (it certainly did for my ex and that is most likely one of the reasons we are not together anymore).

 

[Desperado]

I had two girlfriends in high school. One lasted 4 months, the other 9. I ended up treating both of them like crap, pushed them away, and eventually broke up with them. I'm heading into univeristy now I don't want to treat girls like this anymore. Anyone have any possible reasons why I did this and how I can avoid doing this in the future?

Check out counseling services at your school. It's hard to "diagnose" this kind of stuff over the internet, and the right counselor can really help you talk through your issues and get down to the roots of things.

 

[DominoKid]

Could it have anything to do with your family history? Do your parents have a stable relationship? I feel like sometimes that can affect a person's view of relationships and love (it certainly did for my ex and that is most likely one of the reasons we are not together anymore).

well fuck I have no hope then lol.
my folks getting divorced out of the blue (to me at least) turned my heart blacker than the darkest night.

edit: usually those jennamarbles videos are cool, but that one posted above is horrible.
a million views in 1.5 days is fucking ridiculous though. i bet she's staaaaaacking.
i need to come up w/ a good webseries.

 

[Pastry]

well fuck I have no hope then lol.
my folks getting divorced out of the blue (to me at least) turned my heart blacker than the darkest night.

edit: usually those jennamarbles videos are cool, but that one posted above is horrible.
a million views in 1.5 days is fucking ridiculous though. i bet she's staaaaaacking.
i need to come up w/ a good webseries.

I wasn't trying to say that that means you have no hope haha just that it can affect your view of relationships. Maybe you should speak to a therapist or counselor about it if you feel like it is an issue.

 

[Jim E. Rossler]

Wait, the store Target has a policy against employees dating one-another? Seriously???

Only if one is in a higher position
2 cashiers can date, 2 hr people can date, cant mix and match, store lead cant date anyone, neither can security