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[DominoKid]

I wasn't trying to say that that means you have no hope haha just that it can affect your view of relationships. Maybe you should speak to a therapist or counselor about it if you feel like it is an issue.

Nah I just figured eventually my heart will open up.
Even now I'm not nearly as bad as I was 5 years ago when it happened.
I still don't think I'll ever get married, because forever is a mighty long time.
But I can see myself in a healthy relationship. We'll see about adding committed to that.

 

[Minamu]

Not if sex is all they care about.

Again, different realities There's always a negative counter argument with you guys, isn't there? :lol

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Again, different realities There's always a negative counter argument with you guys, isn't there? :lol

Perception is reality.

 

[Xun]

My mind does always worry about my looks, especially after last night.

It's hard to ignore, but I try to not let it bother me.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

My mind does always worry about my looks, especially after last night.

It's hard to ignore, but I try to not let it bother me.

What happened last night bud? I know how you're feeling I think.

 

[RedNalgene]

I got the note taker chick's number after an awkward exchange in which she didn't get the hint so I flat out asked her for it. She said I could study with her. After hangong out with her for an hour after class, it turns out we have way more in common than I thought; she majored in English herself at the alma mater. I'm also supposed to be her guide according to her (half serious-half joking).

What do I do next guys? I suppose ask her out for the weekend? I'm inexperienced when it comes to these things; last time I blew it by being too needy so I learned my lesson. I don't want to sleep on it, but I certainly don't want to blow it.

Also, there was a chick that I was eyeing in the hall way but I kept thinking about it too much. Unfortunately, I turned into GAF Man as a result; I wanted to do it, but there was something holding me back. I regret not doing it once she got up and left. My friend told me he would've winged for me (he was with me).

Yeah man, ask her out, why wait. It sounds like you made a good impression on her, she's probably sitting there waiting to get a call from you. Depending on how you left it with her you could either ask her on a date-date (if you got the vibe that she was really interested in you) or you could ask her out on a study-date (if you're not sure). If you go with the latter, make sure you make you date intentions clear by the end of the date if you're still digging her. You don't want to turn into just a study partner.

 

[Vostro]

Ok so I'm 19 going to 20 this October, and I'm going out with this girl who is 16. Is that consider ok? The age difference is my only problem. Even my parents said just be careful of dating a girl who's much younger than me. And some of my friends think I'm weird. xD

 

[MVP]

Ok so I'm 19 going to 20 this October, and I'm going out with this girl who is 16. Is that consider ok? The age difference is my only problem. Even my parents said just be careful of dating a girl who's much younger than me. And some of my friends think I'm weird. xD

If you mean sexually, check the age of consent in your state. If you mean just the fact you're dating a 16 year old, mentally she's probably as mature as you are so not a big deal. Just don't think too far in the future with her, things change.

 

[UFRA]

The 9 stages of relationships:
http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/relationship-stages

Also a lot of really good tips and articles on that website.

I have just entered stage 3 with my girlfriend. Ugh. lol Things have been going so amazing, I clearly can identify stage 1 and 2. It's clear we're in 3 right now. Things aren't about to fail or anything, but right now the initial obsessed-over-each-other phase has ended and we are transitioning into the real relationship phase. Just had some silly disputes the last couple nights and our conversations have been more serious and less fun/flirty recently. We still talk a ton every day and it's clear we're not going anywhere.

Interesting how right those stages are explained on that site.

 

[hawkshockey11]

Alright school has been a little bit of a slow start. I don't even want to make dating a big goal, mostly just make friends. I am a good conversationalist but I never really make the first move regarding talking to someone besides the "how's it goin" I say when pass someone in the hall.

If I can hook someone in though I am gold however I always wait until a good situation comes up to make conversation with someone. I haven't really tried a cold approach with anyone really but I wouldn't know what to say besides generic school questions.

I made maybe 5 friends since coming here, but I should be doing a lot better than that. Depending on how hockey tryouts go tomorrow, I am definitely going to join a few clubs and get involved. I just have a little worried feeling as if I am wasting soo many opportunities to go up to people and say hi. I need some motivation and some ideas for meeting people on campus.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

The 9 stages of relationships:
http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/relationship-stages

Also a lot of really good tips and articles on that website.

I have just entered stage 3 with my girlfriend. Ugh. lol Things have been going so amazing, I clearly can identify stage 1 and 2. It's clear we're in 3 right now. Things aren't about to fail or anything, but right now the initial obsessed-over-each-other phase has ended and we are transitioning into the real relationship phase. Just had some silly disputes the last couple nights and our conversations have been more serious and less fun/flirty recently. We still talk a ton every day and it's clear we're not going anywhere.

Interesting how right those stages are explained on that site.

That's really interesting. I'm 28 and of all my relationships through my entire life, I'm ashamed to say I've never got past stage 3 with anyone. Basically its the 'they get bored and fed up' stage rather than 'disturbance' and that's it lol game over.

 

[SpectreFire]

Ok so I'm 19 going to 20 this October, and I'm going out with this girl who is 16. Is that consider ok? The age difference is my only problem. Even my parents said just be careful of dating a girl who's much younger than me. And some of my friends think I'm weird. xD

Be prepared to get weird or even dirty looks in public sometimes, unless you both look pretty similar in age.

I won't say it's not a bit weird, I was pretty hesitant to date a 17 year old when I was 21 and eventually decided not to, but that was just me. If you feel comfortable about it, then go for it.

And yeah, look up state laws regarding age of consent if you live in the states.

 

[zatara]

Ok got a scenario for you guys, what is your advice.

It's the night before your birthday, your gf has work on your birthday so you won't be able to spend time together. So the night before your birthday she leaves your house early saying she is tired. However you have a hunch and find her hanging out with some dude that she says is her best friend from out of town. You text her like you didn't see her and she is still lying about where she is. You come out and tell her you caught her, and she jets to your house crying and apologizing profusely. You've been dating for 5 months.


How do you handle this situation?

 

[Pre]

How do I handle being the third wheel in every situation? Whenever I hang out with friends, I'm always the one who gets pushed to the side. People don't really pay attention to me. This causes big problems when I'm in a group and I want to talk to a girl. I usually end up trying to inject myself into the conversation in a way that comes off awkwardly.

 

[NeOak]

Ok got a scenario for you guys, what is your advice.

It's the night before your birthday, your gf has work on your birthday so you won't be able to spend time together. So the night before your birthday she leaves your house early saying she is tired. However you have a hunch and find her hanging out with some dude that she says is her best friend from out of town. You text her like you didn't see her and she is still lying about where she is. You come out and tell her you caught her, and she jets to your house crying and apologizing profusely. You've been dating for 5 months.


How do you handle this situation?

Ditch her and move on.

 

[DominoKid]

How do I handle being the third wheel in every situation? Whenever I hang out with friends, I'm always the one who gets pushed to the side. People don't really pay attention to me. This causes big problems when I'm in a group and I want to talk to a girl. I usually end up trying to inject myself into the conversation in a way that comes off awkwardly.

Take it from someone who is best friends with an attention whore...dont bother. It isnt worth the effort to try and run game w/ them around. Find you some friends that know how to play their role depending on how the situation presents itself.

 

[eiskaltnz]

Sex Question:

To set the scene my current girlfriend is technically a vigin (but has had lots of experience around it) and is a small Japanese girl. I am a big guy so everything is in proportion.

Today we were going at it like usual for a few hours and she decided she wanted to have sex. We took it really slowly but I could not get anything inside other then the head and a little extra. It really hurt her as well.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Ok got a scenario for you guys, what is your advice.

It's the night before your birthday, your gf has work on your birthday so you won't be able to spend time together. So the night before your birthday she leaves your house early saying she is tired. However you have a hunch and find her hanging out with some dude that she says is her best friend from out of town. You text her like you didn't see her and she is still lying about where she is. You come out and tell her you caught her, and she jets to your house crying and apologizing profusely. You've been dating for 5 months.


How do you handle this situation?

She cheated, move on.

 

[MoGamesXNA]

Ok so I'm 19 going to 20 this October, and I'm going out with this girl who is 16. Is that consider ok? The age difference is my only problem. Even my parents said just be careful of dating a girl who's much younger than me. And some of my friends think I'm weird. xD

Three years difference? That's fine mate, go for it.

 

[beastmode]

I hear "ugly" a lot in this thread. What defines ugly? Health? A disoriented face? Fat? Skinny? Pimples on face?

I assume for most people when self-judging it's whatever they find subjectively unattractive (and common sense attributes that no normal person likes - obesity, acne, etc.) combined with how few positive comments on their appearance they receive + how many negative.

Not that I would know.

 

[GiJoccin]

Sex Question:

To set the scene my current girlfriend is technically a vigin (but has had lots of experience around it) and is a small Japanese girl. I am a big guy so everything is in proportion.

Today we were going at it like usual for a few hours and she decided she wanted to have sex. We took it really slowly but I could not get anything inside other then the head and a little extra. It really hurt her as well.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

just keep trying - lubing it up can't hurt either

 

[EviLore]

Sex Question:

To set the scene my current girlfriend is technically a vigin (but has had lots of experience around it) and is a small Japanese girl. I am a big guy so everything is in proportion.

Today we were going at it like usual for a few hours and she decided she wanted to have sex. We took it really slowly but I could not get anything inside other then the head and a little extra. It really hurt her as well.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

Go down on her, work some fingers in after a while, then go as slow as you need to. Hurting is a given the first time but get through it together and things should improve.

 

[eiskaltnz]

Go down on her, work some fingers in after a while, then go as slow as you need to. Hurting is a given the first time but get through it together and things should improve.

Thanks guys.
We did lots of foreplay with fingers and oral (both ways) but it was still an issue.

I think we will just keep trying, it was getting closer but was just hurting her too much.

 

[JohnDoe]

Thanks guys.
We did lots of foreplay with fingers and oral (both ways) but it was still an issue.

I think we will just keep trying, it was getting closer but was just hurting her too much.

Use lube too. Water-based, if you are using a condom.

 

[stn]

Ok got a scenario for you guys, what is your advice.
How do you handle this situation?

You will have to move on. Sorry man.

 

[zatara]

I forgot to reiterate that I'm not concerned so much with the fact that she was hanging out with the dude he's an old friend that I've met and that part is cool. I was talking more about how to handle that she lied to me. If she would have told me I'd be cool with it I already knew about her friend before we dated.

 

[Puddles]

Go down on her, work some fingers in after a while, then go as slow as you need to. Hurting is a given the first time but get through it together and things should improve.

 

[zethren]

^haha.

I forgot to reiterate that I'm not concerned so much with the fact that she was hanging out with the dude he's an old friend that I've met and that part is cool. I was talking more about how to handle that she lied to me. If she would have told me I'd be cool with it I already knew about her friend before we dated.

If you really like her and think she learned a lesson not to lie to you then give her another chance. Don't let it slide again though, lest you run the risk of being played like Piano.

 

[Pollux]

Yea, i'm pretty much pulling the plug on this one. Girl is one of the dumbest people I've ever met.

That first date on Monday where we talked for hours was a huge red herring since we talked about a lot of superficial stuff...sports, school, work, family/home, etc. But when we started talking about anything on our most recent date a couple days ago else the conversation stalled or she just said some of the dumbest crap I've ever heard.

Granted, I was exhausted when met up with her (and already drunk since I'd been drinking for 4 hours prior - in my defense I was only going to have one beer with friends and meet her for dinner but she canceled on me saying she was really tired and needed to take a nap so 1 beer turned into 4-5 pitchers). So there's that and the fact that she was tired as well, so it could just be that it was a bad situation all around.

I'm not going to bother talking/texting/calling her for a week or so. I'll get in touch with her late next week and see if she wants to hang out again. If she does I'll give it one more shot, if she doesn't I'll move on. No big deal.

The real test here is to see if she texts me at all for the next week, I doubt she will after the way that last date went (although later that night when we were sending some texts back and forth I apologized for the shitty date and explained how tired I was and distracted with school; she said it was fine she had fun and wanted to see me again). Haven't heard from her since then though, but that was Thursday night so that's not too surprising. I'm not expecting anything though. *shrug*

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Ok got a scenario for you guys, what is your advice.

It's the night before your birthday, your gf has work on your birthday so you won't be able to spend time together. So the night before your birthday she leaves your house early saying she is tired. However you have a hunch and find her hanging out with some dude that she says is her best friend from out of town. You text her like you didn't see her and she is still lying about where she is. You come out and tell her you caught her, and she jets to your house crying and apologizing profusely. You've been dating for 5 months.


How do you handle this situation?

It should be obvious that there is only one solution here. How would you ever reconcile something like this?

 

[Devolution]

Sex Question:

To set the scene my current girlfriend is technically a vigin (but has had lots of experience around it) and is a small Japanese girl. I am a big guy so everything is in proportion.

Today we were going at it like usual for a few hours and she decided she wanted to have sex. We took it really slowly but I could not get anything inside other then the head and a little extra. It really hurt her as well.

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.

It's just going to hurt. No matter what. If she's like me it's going to hurt several times afterwards. The best you can do is just be patient. What worked for me was being on top and controlling how much of the dick went in, moving around, finding a more comfortable position. But it's just going to hurt like fuck.

The best you can do is just be patient and comfort her when she gets too frustrated or sore to carry on.

 

[Jhoan]

Yeah man, ask her out, why wait. It sounds like you made a good impression on her, she's probably sitting there waiting to get a call from you. Depending on how you left it with her you could either ask her on a date-date (if you got the vibe that she was really interested in you) or you could ask her out on a study-date (if you're not sure). If you go with the latter, make sure you make you date intentions clear by the end of the date if you're still digging her. You don't want to turn into just a study partner.

After discussing it with a couple of people, I think I'm going to go with the latter until she feels comfortable enough with me ask her out on a date outside of the context of school. I know of areas inside the school that aren't heavily populated with students so I could take her up there. I also know of a few spots around the school that are pretty nice such as a few bars. After reading some tips from the website that UFRA posted, I definitely have to start flirting with touch to let her know my intentions as well give her the impression that I'm not simply a friend. Thanks for the advice.

Since it's a three day weekend, I don't know if I should contact her until Tuesday after I come out of class, or bridge contacting her and keep things going. My brother said that if I contact her say today, I should her how her weekend's going. I know I'm over thinking about these things, but at the same time, I don't want to care to much about her (ala Brent Smith's advice). I'm thinking that if she wants to talk, she'll contact me. Otherwise, I can wait until Tuesday; it's not a problem since I have other things to keep me busy until then such as homework.

Alright school has been a little bit of a slow start. I don't even want to make dating a big goal, mostly just make friends. I am a good conversationalist but I never really make the first move regarding talking to someone besides the "how's it goin" I say when pass someone in the hall.

If I can hook someone in though I am gold however I always wait until a good situation comes up to make conversation with someone. I haven't really tried a cold approach with anyone really but I wouldn't know what to say besides generic school questions.

I made maybe 5 friends since coming here, but I should be doing a lot better than that. Depending on how hockey tryouts go tomorrow, I am definitely going to join a few clubs and get involved. I just have a little worried feeling as if I am wasting soo many opportunities to go up to people and say hi. I need some motivation and some ideas for meeting people on campus.

I would say go to school events e.g. Open Mics, parties, maybe street festivals and stuff like that. I'm in the same situation as you; the other day as well where there was a girl that I kept making eye contact with in the hall but was scared of approaching her because I was over thinking about many scenarios in my head. I'm seriously thinking about using the 3 Second Rule as carrot on the stick to give me an incentive to approach them. It would also help if you have some friends that are confident enough to talk to girls on their own unlike my friend who eats them with their eyes, but yet he gives me an excuse for not wanting to approach them. The friends would give you the encouragement you need to do it. I'm thinking about making a little betting game with him to give us a little incentive.

If you have work-study, then do that too provided it's a job where you'll be talking to people and not a solitary one. You can also sit on a table if that an attractive is sitting at in the cafeteria or what not. I would say your motivation should be not to get the number, but to befriend people and if you feel like there's some good chemistry going, then proceed to ask for the number. I'm also in a fraternity that I'm very lightly invested in but I'm not with the guys 60% of the time unless they need me for something since I know where the guys hang out at.

 

[subversus]

A bad night. Was thinking about all girls I've dated and how would I fix all dumb mistakes I did in relationships. Mend them somehow. Feel hollow now. So many awesome women and one very stupid man.

But the next time I will do EVERYTHING RIGHT.
Yeah, ok....

 

[RedNalgene]

I forgot to reiterate that I'm not concerned so much with the fact that she was hanging out with the dude he's an old friend that I've met and that part is cool. I was talking more about how to handle that she lied to me. If she would have told me I'd be cool with it I already knew about her friend before we dated.

Did she ever explain to you why she felt like she needed to lie to you about meeting a "friend"? That seems like a huge red flag to me.

Since it's a three day weekend, I don't know if I should contact her until Tuesday after I come out of class, or bridge contacting her and keep things going. My brother said that if I contact her say today, I should her how her weekend's going. I know I'm over thinking about these things, but at the same time, I don't want to care to much about her (ala Brent Smith's advice). I'm thinking that if she wants to talk, she'll contact me. Otherwise, I can wait until Tuesday; it's not a problem since I have other things to keep me busy until then such as homework.

Normally I'd recommend calling the girl whenever you feel like you want to talk to her and not try to play a game, but given the fact that you want to take it a little slow and have said that you usually move too quick, I'd say give her a call on Tuesday to make plans. Especially since you're not going to ask her out on a date right away. Calling this weekend might seem come off a little too strong.

 

[hawkshockey11]

I would say go to school events e.g. Open Mics, parties, maybe street festivals and stuff like that. I'm in the same situation as you; the other day as well where there was a girl that I kept making eye contact with in the hall but was scared of approaching her because I was over thinking about many scenarios in my head. I'm seriously thinking about using the 3 Second Rule as carrot on the stick to give me an incentive to approach them. It would also help if you have some friends that are confident enough to talk to girls on their own unlike my friend who eats them with their eyes, but yet he gives me an excuse for not wanting to approach them. The friends would give you the encouragement you need to do it. I'm thinking about making a little betting game with him to give us a little incentive.

If you have work-study, then do that too provided it's a job where you'll be talking to people and not a solitary one. You can also sit on a table if that an attractive is sitting at in the cafeteria or what not. I would say your motivation should be not to get the number, but to befriend people and if you feel like there's some good chemistry going, then proceed to ask for the number. I'm also in a fraternity that I'm very lightly invested in but I'm not with the guys 60% of the time unless they need me for something since I know where the guys hang out at.

It is mostly empty worrying I think. I am getting out and I do have the drive to meet new people. I just need to do as you say and "just do it." I wish you luck on your school endeavor.

 

[Sub_Level]

Oh boy, had a doozy of a night. I'll try to make this as brief and concise as possible.

Met girl at school. She approached me because she wants tutoring. She's in her early 30s with 3 kids living in the Middle East, I'm 21. When I tutor her we have fun and get good vibes all around. Ask her if she's free to hang out just gimme a call. She says yeah. Through the next 2-3 weeks I see her at school, sometimes we hang out during lunch breaks and everything seems cool. She even texts me a pic of her at one point. Want to hang out on Friday, but she says Saturday is better because she's meeting her best friend downtown at the clubs.

I go to the club with a friend of my own. Girls get in free, so my friend and I pay cover. I buy her a drink and start chattin'. Everything seems cool, we get into a conversation about how she doesn't want a relationship and that's fine with me. She says that if we got involved with each other she would hurt me. Girls have told me that before. It's early so we say we'll leave, check out a couple other places, and come back. As we're about to leave, find out that males have to pay cover AGAIN if they leave. Females still get in free. So that makes me a little irritated, but whatever. We go to one bar, don't have any drinks, she says hi to some dj, we go to another club with no cover and hit the bar, have a few drinks. We dance a little bit but she's really not into it. After an hour or so of awkward dances and her talking to her friend or her phone way more than my friend and I, we go back to the original club.

Dance a little more there, but by that point I'm irritated. The whole night she's seemed bored out of her mind and even angry. I ask her if she's ok and if she's mad, she says no she's fine. I tell her that I came to just dance with her, she says she just wants to hang out with her friend and that she doesn't need a man to enjoy herself as she was an Arab and just wants to be free. I say that I felt this was a waste of time, to which she replies "wow". I feel bad so I apologize and say that I didn't mean to be ugly. She pats me on the head and tells me to calm down and that she's not mad at me. I look at my friend, irritated, turn back to her and tell her that she was right, she did hurt me. And I take my friend and we leave without another word.

She did text me again this morning apologizing, but I told her that she didn't do anything wrong, it was my mistake, and to forget about it.

:\

 

[bjb]

Oh boy, had a doozy of a night. I'll try to make this as brief and concise as possible.

Met girl at school. She approached me because she wants tutoring. She's in her early 30s with 3 kids living in the Middle East, I'm 21.

I stopped reading right there. Surely you can do so much better. Aim higher man.

 

[Sub_Level]

I stopped reading right there. Surely you can do so much better. Aim higher man.

I know that I can, but I just figured I'd try dating or hooking up with her for experience's sake. There's something like 1 girl in 14 buys in my college program, until I get a job and get more disposable income to go out, my opportunities to meet the opposite sex are fairly limited at the moment.

But yes, you're right (and nothing against her either but it's just not compatible scenarios).

 

[Minamu]

Sounds like she's never been interested in you sexually and you chased her away even more. Stop getting irritated at such small things, to begin with, it rarely suits you well, and you gain little positive from it. Reread what you wrote and I'm sure you'll find plenty of things that you could've done differently. That fact that she willingly mentioned that she would only hurt you and don't want a relationship likely means you did something wrong before this event happened (ie in school). You're her friend, her teacher/study partner.

 

[Hypereides]

Ok got a scenario for you guys, what is your advice.

It's the night before your birthday, your gf has work on your birthday so you won't be able to spend time together. So the night before your birthday she leaves your house early saying she is tired. However you have a hunch and find her hanging out with some dude that she says is her best friend from out of town. You text her like you didn't see her and she is still lying about where she is. You come out and tell her you caught her, and she jets to your house crying and apologizing profusely. You've been dating for 5 months.


How do you handle this situation?

Not trustworthy. Grab your parachute and prepare to sky dive out of that relationship.

Obviously shes a thrill seeker and will keep a spare guy/fuck buddy on the side for thrills and sex with no strings attached whenever she feels displeased with you, or bored.

No dice.

EDIT:

Oh boy, had a doozy of a night. I'll try to make this as brief and concise as possible.

Met girl at school. She approached me because she wants tutoring. She's in her early 30s with 3 kids living in the Middle East, I'm 21. When I tutor her we have fun and get good vibes all around. Ask her if she's free to hang out just gimme a call. She says yeah. Through the next 2-3 weeks I see her at school, sometimes we hang out during lunch breaks and everything seems cool. She even texts me a pic of her at one point. Want to hang out on Friday, but she says Saturday is better because she's meeting her best friend downtown at the clubs.

I go to the club with a friend of my own. Girls get in free, so my friend and I pay cover. I buy her a drink and start chattin'. Everything seems cool, we get into a conversation about how she doesn't want a relationship and that's fine with me. She says that if we got involved with each other she would hurt me. Girls have told me that before. It's early so we say we'll leave, check out a couple other places, and come back. As we're about to leave, find out that males have to pay cover AGAIN if they leave. Females still get in free. So that makes me a little irritated, but whatever. We go to one bar, don't have any drinks, she says hi to some dj, we go to another club with no cover and hit the bar, have a few drinks. We dance a little bit but she's really not into it. After an hour or so of awkward dances and her talking to her friend or her phone way more than my friend and I, we go back to the original club.

Dance a little more there, but by that point I'm irritated. The whole night she's seemed bored out of her mind and even angry. I ask her if she's ok and if she's mad, she says no she's fine. I tell her that I came to just dance with her, she says she just wants to hang out with her friend and that she doesn't need a man to enjoy herself as she was an Arab and just wants to be free. I say that I felt this was a waste of time, to which she replies "wow". I feel bad so I apologize and say that I didn't mean to be ugly. She pats me on the head and tells me to calm down and that she's not mad at me. I look at my friend, irritated, turn back to her and tell her that she was right, she did hurt me. And I take my friend and we leave without another word.

She did text me again this morning apologizing, but I told her that she didn't do anything wrong, it was my mistake, and to forget about it.

:\

Shes obviously not ready for a relationship. And shes probably afraid to get hurt herself if she gets too attached to her significant other.

Besides she sounds like the kind of girl that recieves tons of attention from guys, which makes her more or less not likely to do anything serious any time soon. By her approach Im willing to bet she saw you as a friend from the beginning.

You shouldnt even have replied to her text the following morning, and instead gone with a good dose of silent treatment.

At least she was honest. She warned you that there were consequences.

Besides you took too long and ended up getting friendzoned by mistake. Its coo' though. Time to learn from this dude.

 

[Sub_Level]

You're her friend, her teacher/study partner.

I am absolutely not going to be vindictive towards her, but not anymore I'm not. She only has one class with me on Fridays, just gonna be brief and civil from now on. It's too weird for me to hang out with her.

Shes obviously not ready for a relationship. And shes probably afraid to get hurt herself if she gets too attached to her significant other.

She definitely isn't ready. To add some more context to my story, she got out of an 8-month relationship with a classmate of mine, so she already had a negative bias towards the guys in our little tech school (she has to see him every school day pretty much). Also, I'm the son of the school director, she said the director would kill her if she got with me (the director wouldn't, but there you go...). I was pretty much screwed before I even walked into the club. It's kinda messed up because I have a class with her and her ex on Friday. A class with not very many students in it.

Besides you took too long and ended up getting friendzoned by mistake. Its coo' though. Time to learn from this dude.

I don't think I took too long, every weekend after the week of our first tutoring session, I asked her out. She had denied twice saying that she was busy or needed to study. Said yes finally the third time, which is when she said we could get together at the clubs Saturday. And she was always the one to text me first at school. But yeah it is ready to learn, thanks for the input. I observed the signs beforehand but naively thought I could just push through her not liking me that way and well, get her to like me that way. But chicks' emotions aren't some mountain you have to climb, they either like you or they don't, being persistent doesn't help. My energy would better be spent towards someone who would reciprocate those feelings and that effort.

 

[MVP]

Oh boy, had a doozy of a night. I'll try to make this as brief and concise as possible.

Met girl at school. She approached me because she wants tutoring. She's in her early 30s with 3 kids living in the Middle East, I'm 21. When I tutor her we have fun and get good vibes all around. Ask her if she's free to hang out just gimme a call. She says yeah. Through the next 2-3 weeks I see her at school, sometimes we hang out during lunch breaks and everything seems cool. She even texts me a pic of her at one point. Want to hang out on Friday, but she says Saturday is better because she's meeting her best friend downtown at the clubs.

I go to the club with a friend of my own. Girls get in free, so my friend and I pay cover. I buy her a drink and start chattin'. Everything seems cool, we get into a conversation about how she doesn't want a relationship and that's fine with me. She says that if we got involved with each other she would hurt me. Girls have told me that before. It's early so we say we'll leave, check out a couple other places, and come back. As we're about to leave, find out that males have to pay cover AGAIN if they leave. Females still get in free. So that makes me a little irritated, but whatever. We go to one bar, don't have any drinks, she says hi to some dj, we go to another club with no cover and hit the bar, have a few drinks. We dance a little bit but she's really not into it. After an hour or so of awkward dances and her talking to her friend or her phone way more than my friend and I, we go back to the original club.

Dance a little more there, but by that point I'm irritated. The whole night she's seemed bored out of her mind and even angry. I ask her if she's ok and if she's mad, she says no she's fine. I tell her that I came to just dance with her, she says she just wants to hang out with her friend and that she doesn't need a man to enjoy herself as she was an Arab and just wants to be free. I say that I felt this was a waste of time, to which she replies "wow". I feel bad so I apologize and say that I didn't mean to be ugly. She pats me on the head and tells me to calm down and that she's not mad at me. I look at my friend, irritated, turn back to her and tell her that she was right, she did hurt me. And I take my friend and we leave without another word.

She did text me again this morning apologizing, but I told her that she didn't do anything wrong, it was my mistake, and to forget about it.

:\

Don't buy women drinks, and don't apologize for telling her the truth, that she was a waste of time. Nowadays it seems like women don't have to be any fun, or have any type of conversational skills, because men just end up blaming themselves for everything. It was her fault she was an unbelievable bore.

Also, don't let a woman pat you on the head like you're some puppy and tell you to calm down. You should've checked her right then and there. Point is, she's just not that into you and you shouldn't be that into her. She sounds like an idiot, especially after her comment "I don't need a man to enjoy myself because I'm an Arab and I just want to be free". Lol

 

[MVP]

She's in her early 30s...I'm 21.

Ah, makes sense now. Missed that earlier. She doesn't respect you at all and sees you as her boy toy.

 

[DTLIONS1013]

GF of 11 months broke up with me

 

[Etrian Oddity]

One of my new resolutions for this semester is to approach at least two new girls every day, and so far I've had no trouble with it. Nothing has led to dates or anything, but the semester has been pretty good insofar that I'm at least keeping constant interaction with the opposite sex going on, haha.

I'm still my biggest enemy, however. I'm unhappy with my physique and my personality; the former being far easier to change than the latter.

Still, in both regards things are looking hopeful. I've had both male and female acquaintances pay me unsolicited compliments on apparent visible weight loss; and girls are seemingly more comfortable chatting with me at parties and in general.

It probably helps that I'm genuinely happy with my life right now, what with school being back in session. I'm sure that positivity is bleeding into other aspects of my behavior.

I'm still merely the "sweet" or "nerdy" guy, however, and I can't figure out how to address my personality to change that. I still apparently give off no sexual vibes despite trying....

 

[pgtl_10]

Recently a lot of women would avoid making eye contact with me. It's really hard to talk to people who refuse to look at you. Anyway I could fix this problem?

 

[Log4Girlz]

Recently a lot of women would avoid making eye contact with me. It's really hard to talk to people who refuse to look at you. Anyway I could fix this problem?

Put some clothes on.

 

[UFRA]

One of my new resolutions for this semester is to approach at least two new girls every day, and so far I've had no trouble with it. Nothing has led to dates or anything, but the semester has been pretty good insofar that I'm at least keeping constant interaction with the opposite sex going on, haha.

I'm still my biggest enemy, however. I'm unhappy with my physique and my personality; the former being far easier to change than the latter.

Still, in both regards things are looking hopeful. I've had both male and female acquaintances pay me unsolicited compliments on apparent visible weight loss; and girls are seemingly more comfortable chatting with me at parties and in general.

It probably helps that I'm genuinely happy with my life right now, what with school being back in session. I'm sure that positivity is bleeding into other aspects of my behavior.

I'm still merely the "sweet" or "nerdy" guy, however, and I can't figure out how to address my personality to change that. I still apparently give off no sexual vibes despite trying....

Don't change that!

This may sound stupid or cliche, but one day you will find the right girl who is attracted to that personality. If you try to change who you are, eventually your actual self will come back out later in a relationship and possibly mess it up since the girl was attracted to your "fake" personality.

Just be YOU.

I've been told by a lot of girls that I'm way different than most other guys. In fact, some girls have thought I was gay because I could relate to women so well and I don't treat them as sex objects or like I own them (aka the stereotypical man...not saying everyone is like this, but its like the way society portrays men...we are supposed to drink beer, complain about women, and judge them for their boob sizes).

My current girlfriend has previously dated some bad dudes. Ones that disrespected her, cheated on her, told her she was unattractive, etc. She was specifically attracted to me because of my sweetness and softer personality, which is the opposite of most other guys she dated.

 

[pgtl_10]

Put some clothes on.

What do you mean?

 

[Log4Girlz]

What do you mean?

Girls will avoid looking directly into your eyes if you're walking around naked.