NeOak
Member
There is something wrong, and its not your dancing. Be ready for the worst.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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There is something wrong, and its not your dancing. Be ready for the worst.
Count Dookkake
Member
Those are odd comments from your GF. My ulterior motive detector is pinging.
Devolution
Member
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but she's cruising for ass dude. I could understand not thinking you dance well but she could teach you. The whole "don't look at me too much", what the fuck.
She doesn't like you that much. I'm guessing it's one of those cases where she's been your "girlfriend" for 2 months, and you've known her for 2 and a half. This won't last, but enjoy it while it does.
Count Dookkake
Member
I'm also curious about this girlfriend not talking to you business.
How long have you been "dating"?
Is it even confirmed that she thinks of you as a couple?
EDIT- I missed the "2 months" post. The other question still stands.
How long have you been "dating"?
Is it even confirmed that she thinks of you as a couple?
EDIT- I missed the "2 months" post. The other question still stands.
Oh wow.
I really hate to say it dude, but I don't think it'll last much longer at all.
Devolution
Member
Just by what this guy is saying she sounds immature and flighty as all hell.
Hypereides
Member
I'd say its a baaad idea. It would fuck up the workplace if things turned sour between the 2 of you.
I this song sums up nicely what I think about this situation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28hYBf1A2yk
That's the thing though, she is pretty strange, like I said that's the only issue. About a week ago she was even talking about that if our holiday goes well (we're going to Turkey in October for a week) then we can start thinking about living together (note, i'm not crazy enough to even think about this let alone go through with this).
Well the other issue is that you have a girlfriend who gives you the silent treatment.
Count Dookkake
Member
You are getting played. The sooner you change things the better.
It's gonna be brutal when she ditches you on vacation.
Devolution
Member
Are you paying for it? The trip I mean.
I really do hope he isn't.
Hypereides
Member
If he does he better drop 'n' run.
Count Dookkake
Member
He is totally paying for it. No doubt at all.
demonkaze, how many times have you guys had sex? How long ago was the last time?
demonkaze, how many times have you guys had sex? How long ago was the last time?
Pollux
Member
So me and the girl I went out with Monday are doing trivia at a bar tonight with 4 of her friends. Does that mean anything? She invited me on Monday at the end of our date which I think is a good sign. She also says that she wants to do something with just me and her soon.
Good sign? Or is she just putting me on?
Good sign? Or is she just putting me on?
Hypereides
Member
She feels comfortable showing you, to her friends. I would say that is a good sign.
I would say a good sign is if she invites you over to her place after trivia.....until then it's the "waiting game" which is why I don't do traditional dating
Looking good so far, but make sure to get some one on one time.
Pollux
Member
Basically my plan for tonight is to just go get along with all her friends, be a nice guy...I'm not going to be blatantly hitting on her or flirting with her or something. If she doesn't invite me over I'm not going to worry about it, she has to be at work at 6 am tomorrow morning. I'll tell her I'll call her soon to make plans (which leaves the ball in my court)
That's the plan. But it does look good for me if I can get along with her friends, I think.
Of course it does....Be charming. You will be fine. Knock em dead tiger.
Pollux
Member
I was texting her today and told her that i want to spend time doing something, with just the two of us, and she said that she definitely wanted to do that as well. So I think I'll be OK for the foreseeable future as long as I don't make an ass out of myself tonight.
Glad to hear a victory post on this thread.
Pollux
Member
I'm going to be honest I'm a little nervous. it's going to be me in her bar with her friends, including some guys...so I'm going to have my work cut out for me.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
That was the only thing that got me to say something to a girl. And even that was hard still. I have no experience approaching woman. It's really difficult for me. I have no idea how you guys do it.
I wish they would approach me. It would make things a little easier.
Minamu said:Women don't care about your looks in the same way as you do , but if that's your belief then yes, that's what you need to fix. If you believe looks matter, looks matter. If you don't, they don't. Goes with everything else
What do you mean?
I know you're trying to be all positive with the whole looks don't matter thing. But lets be honest here. They do matter somewhat. Thats the first thing people notice.
Yeah, you will be fine. Have a few drinks...Crack a few jokes...If all else fails talk sports with the guys there and boom.
Done and done.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
I'm assuming you're more referring to the fact that people who take care of themselves in terms of health and appearance are better perceived than people who are out of shape or not hygienically well kept. Not that a person who has blonde hair and blue eyes must be a crazy murderer who is great in bed.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Women don't care about your looks in the same way as you do, but if that's your belief then yes, that's what you need to fix. If you believe looks matter, looks matter. If you don't, they don't. Goes with everything else
I know what you're trying to say here and I appreciate it, but I'm going to have to respectfully agree to disagree with you on this one. I'd say that looks really matter to girls, infact the girls I've been meeting (dating site girls) it seems to be a huge deal. I'd say 90% of all girls I've spoken to have wanted to know all details about my pics on these sites, which one is most recent, what my hair is like at the moment, which pic do I look most like right now, etc. Don't get me wrong, I realise they want to know what I look like, but i wouldn't feel comfortable interrogating a girl in such a detailed manner due to the obvious emphasis on looks above all else that might portray. I guess they can afford to be picky on these sites with all types of guys wanting to meet them, I don't know. But what I do know is looks have a huge factor on whether girls want to date you or not.. And even if your pics pass the 'picky' test, your looks in real life still may not match their lofty expectations, as I have personally found out multiple times this year!.. And it's this which I feel I need to address because until then, I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
Exactly what I mean. Also what you wear in general can reflect what you like. But yeah mainly health/appearance/fit of clothes is important.
Mhh while I'm not a regular (more of a hit and run behavior) the last year has been prety good on "self improvement".
I started going to the gym and got fit, I started taking Salsa lessons and to socialise more.
I went from beeing a secluded wow nerd to a rather outgoing, funny terrible Salsa dancer.
Still, I have one hurdle to overcome which is "stop friendzoning yourself", but it will probably take some time
Looks matter a lot, I don't know why you guys like to think any different. If you're ugly, it'll be hard for you to get any attention from women, that's a fact.
Do ugly women ever get your attention? I feel like it should be insulting to women that as men we demand attractive women but we just think women will go for any slob as long as he's interesting. Uhh, no. Women have some taste. Not all women's taste is the same, but they have to find you physically attractive.
Do ugly women ever get your attention? I feel like it should be insulting to women that as men we demand attractive women but we just think women will go for any slob as long as he's interesting. Uhh, no. Women have some taste. Not all women's taste is the same, but they have to find you physically attractive.
Attraction is subjective. Your ugly might be someone's hot. The same can be said about a girl. Not everyone is labeled ugly is ugly and not everyone labeled pretty or handsome is. Everyone on this Earth have different tastes on what they find attractive. So in sense like I said attraction is subjective.
When I see some of the things women are attracted to, I have serious doubts
Yeah I know, we had this discussion last time, and people kept bringing examples of this one time at band camp a girl dated what they felt was an ugly guy. It happens I'm sure, like 1% of the time or whatever, but the vast majority of the time, they need to find you attractive, unless they're using you for something.
Notice I said THEY need to find you attractive, not the world needs to. How guys get a girl thinking they're attractive is their business, but it really benefits no one for guys to assume women just don't care about looks at all, that's just bullshit.
thestopsign
Member
In general, women have a wider spread of guys/physical features that they are interested in than guys do for women. Guys have a very predefined set of what is good looking for a girl, in general most men can agree on certain women being attractive or not. With women, there is no general consensus on any one guy, some like the muscular body building type, some like the "indy" look (as one of my friends calls it), etc.
There is importance in looking well kept and dressing in a fitting way. You don't have to be up on the latest fashions as long as you have a look that you are comfortable with and that fits your nature. If your nature is to be a slob, then you might have a problem.
There is importance in looking well kept and dressing in a fitting way. You don't have to be up on the latest fashions as long as you have a look that you are comfortable with and that fits your nature. If your nature is to be a slob, then you might have a problem.
hawkshockey11
Banned
That is just how society formed. Girls dress attractively and like each other, put on makeup and do their hair like each other and because of these, there became a universal* scale of attractiveness. With guys there is much more "diversity." There are not many men wearing makeup.
*not really, but it is a much tighter spectrum than what women consider to be attractive.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
Exactly how i feel. Thank you.
Why are people in denial about this? It's only going to hurt you more in the end.
EDIT- I would rate myself well below 10. And i know thats one of the reasons i hardly get any attention from girls. Do ALL girls think im ugly? Of course not im sure. But those select few are sure hard to find.
The guy who gets girls to turn their heads when he walks down the street has it way easier in the dating game than us average joes.
Etrian Oddity
Member
To a degree. In certain circles and age ranges there is very much indeed a predefined set of what girls find attractive. Particularly with young girls (the bane of my existence, haha!).
That said, the best advice I ever heard (and which pulled me out of my pit of woe) is that a man is only ugly if he believes he is ugly.
I don't think I'm ugly anymore, but I do still believe--due to my perception of the world around me and my interaction with it--that I still have a long way to go before I'm physically attractive to girls. Girls mistake my quiet confidence for a lack thereof, my easy-going nature for being a beta male, and my desire to treat human beings decently for being a "nice guy." I genuinely believe the only way I'm going to escape this is by getting in as incredible physical shape as my body allows me to.
Ok, this girl makes me wanna date her. She screams my name everytime I see her. We flirt. I understand the reprucutions but....ugh I wanna date her.
So date her, what's the problem? You're gonna pass on someone that can end up being the love of your life and be right by your side as you die of natural causes at 104 years old because things "might" turn sour?
Who cares man, live it up.
Devolution
Member
I think this is all just a little presumptuous and highly dependent on what we're talking about. When I hear dudes say "why is she with that guy", I often think about how I was attracted to men based on their personalities. I wouldn't say they were ugly but they weren't "the hottest" guy around either. I was attracted to them physically though, I will say that. If people are just hooking up or dating by looks alone then there's a problem. I'd say a hot guy who seems immature, sags his fucking pants and wolf whistles at me is gonna put me off faster than a more homely looking guy with some wit.
No one is saying only the hottest guys around get women, just that women have to find them attractive. That specific woman will have to find that specific man attractive to date him. Every single guy you've dated, you found attractive. You didn't think "Ugh, he's so ugly, but I'll date him because xyz".
The things you liked about them made them more attractive to you, and maybe they're not models, but YOU found them attractive. That's what women want. Women who ONLY date based on looks are shallow and superficial. Women who consider looks a factor, among other things, are just women. It is what humans are. We like to wake up next to things we find physically attractive TO US. Who cares what other people think.
Devolution
Member
I will say what makes someone come off as really ugly is a lack of confidence, bad hygiene and feeling sorry for themselves. It's not even a "omg hes so ugly" the last one (feeling sorry for themselves), they're just a bummer to be around. The last thing I think anyone wants to do is deal with someone who doesn't make them feel good.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
This is super relevant to most of the forever alone dudes that have been posting in here. Most of them have talked about how they have few friends as well, so it makes their loneliness harder. Friendships don't rely on looks, so even if they're going to be down about their dating chances, they should still work on their personality if even just to make more friends.
I dated a girl once that everyone told me was too unattractive for me. I didn't give a fuck because she was hilarious and had a bright personality that made her so much fun to talk to and be around.
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