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[neojubei]

I don't think the drugs my therapist prescribed are working well. It says to take one a day but i am feeling down and think maybe i should take 5 or 7 of them.

I envy some of you straight guys here. With girls you can talk with them and they will learn to like you but with gay men its about appearance. I'm neither cute nor attractive so i am pretty much worthless in the gay community. Makes me wonder why i am even gay or even exist if i am so repulsive. Being short, fat, black in the gay community is probably the worst thing anyone can be.

If i died today it would be a good thing. There is no one in my family i like that i would miss or would miss me if i died.

 

[reggie]

I don't think the drugs my therapist prescribed are working well. It says to take one a day but i am feeling down and think maybe i should take 5 or 7 of them.

Like my Doctor said to me, they are not happy pills. They only help to offset the natural imbalance in your brain. And they take time, it's a slow process. Do not take a bunch of them at once, it's a terrible idea and wont work.

And if you feel it's not working, tell them.

 

[TheExecutive]

I don't think the drugs my therapist prescribed are working well. It says to take one a day but i am feeling down and think maybe i should take 5 or 7 of them.

I envy some of you straight guys here. With girls you can talk with them and they will learn to like you but with gay men its about appearance. I'm neither cute nor attractive so i am pretty much worthless in the gay community. Makes me wonder why i am even gay or even exist if i am so repulsive. Being short, fat, black in the gay community is probably the worst thing anyone can be.

If i died today it would be a good thing. There is no one in my family i like that i would miss or would miss me if i died.

What are you taking and how long have you been taking it?

Just because you don't think you're cute doesn't make you worthless at all.

 

[TheExecutive]

Terrible day so far. I've done nothing, gone nowhere and tried crying myself to sleep but I couldn't. Everything is so underwhelming, and I don't even have expectations for anything. I feel completely worthless and alienated right now. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

Sounds all too familiar. Started Zoloft 2 weeks ago and has made a huge difference in my life. But god does that sound familiar.

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

I envy some of you straight guys here. With girls you can talk with them and they will learn to like you but with gay men its about appearance.

Please! You're crazy if you think hetero lifestyles are a cakewalk. It's every bit about appearance due to the deep seated reproductive impulses seeking good breeding stock.

Nobody approaches anybody because they think they have a fantastic personality. They approach you because they find you physically attractive, or you have some physical traits they find attractive.

Personally I wish more females would be as forward toward me as gay guys. Granted I haven't been hit on in a while, since I too got fat, but feisty gay guys hitting on me always just sort of irked me. COME ON LADIES, GIVE ME SOME WUB!

I'm neither cute nor attractive so i am pretty much worthless in the gay community. Makes me wonder why i am even gay or even exist if i am so repulsive. Being short, fat, black in the gay community is probably the worst thing anyone can be.

You can "fix" one of those three issues, and in doing so perhaps level out your mental well being. While the data on exercise affecting depression directly is still being debated, the confidence that comes from improving your physique could probably do wonders for your state of mind.

When I used to listen to Kevin Smith's podcasts he made the gay community sound like such a hedonist paradise. Short, fat, and black? Don't you fit somewhere in the bear spectrum? In the hetero community I don't know of any female chubby chasers. Worse case situation I'd have to box in my own weight class. D:

 

[demon]

Straight guys have to deal with the fact that women tend not to approach guys and want to be chased. I'm straight, but have been hit on by way more gay guys than women in my life (not to make it sound like it's been a lot). If you're a straight guy with confidence issues, good fucking luck in the dating world.

 

[paskowitz]

Watch Collateral. I have applied this technique many times to great success. What is even better is that every person, no matter who they are, has the capacity for imagination.

I don't know what to do with my life, I've looked at all of my options and I'm on a dead end. I'm unemployed and I don't think I'll ever be able to get a job doing what I like. It's a shame because, even if this makes me look as if I have a big ego, I think I'm pretty good at what I do; but there are no opportunities for me here and I've literally no idea about what should I do. I'm getting sick of this situation, of living. I'm bored, tired and lonely. My social life is practically nonexistent, and even if I've "friends" that are always like "hey, we should do something", I don't want to, my conscience won't let me enjoy anything because I know I should be doing something about my professional life.

If I could forget about all this shit I would live my whole life in a room reading books or something, but, oh no, this is real life and I need job... There's nothing for me and I rather be dead than doing something that doesn't fulfill me. This is the first time I'm genuinely considering killing myself and I would have never imagined it'd be because of this.

To this I would say, you have to believe you are worth something. You have to have confidence in yourself. Even if you feel deeply that it isn't true or your past has amounted to nothing. You have to go against every feeling, every instinct, every thought and (please forgive the pun), believe.

 

[Natetan]

I don't think the drugs my therapist prescribed are working well. It says to take one a day but i am feeling down and think maybe i should take 5 or 7 of them.

I envy some of you straight guys here. With girls you can talk with them and they will learn to like you but with gay men its about appearance. I'm neither cute nor attractive so i am pretty much worthless in the gay community. Makes me wonder why i am even gay or even exist if i am so repulsive. Being short, fat, black in the gay community is probably the worst thing anyone can be.

If i died today it would be a good thing. There is no one in my family i like that i would miss or would miss me if i died.

Yeah, some of my male friends try and equate my difficulties dating etc, and i'm not saying there arent some parallels. You often feel like finding the type of person you like who will like you too is just so miniscule and you get all worked up over that one person. But I think for gay guys it can be just that much more difficult.

I think you can do a lot with personality. You can work on the fat part, and also put yourself into your interests and be passionate about them. Just work from there. You might not catch someone's eye at a club or anything, but there is always room to build up a relationship over time.

 

[terrdactycalsrock]

So I see this thread a lot in the first few pages of the OT. Its 64 pages deep and there has been over 3,000 posts. And Im curious what is this thread about?

 

[~Kinggi~]

So I see this thread a lot in the first few pages of the OT. Its 64 pages deep and there has been over 3,000 posts. And Im curious what is this thread about?

Misery. Complete misery.

 

[SniperHunter]

have you guys tried st john's wort? I read it helps get rid of depression

 

[terrdactycalsrock]

Misery. Complete misery.

Is it just one particular person's misery, or can be anyones misery?

 

[demon]

Misery. Complete misery.

it's funny cuz it's true.

 

[Emily Chu]

may not worked for everyone but B12,

I think it saved my life

I take 1 capsule daily 25000% of the daily dosage

it keeps the bad thoughts away for me at least

 

[Leeness]

Misery. Complete misery.

Yep...

It makes me feel bad, too, because I don't have the clinical problems a lot of people in here do, and I feel bad for feeling the way I feel. :/

 

[terrdactycalsrock]

have you guys tried st john's wort? I read it helps get rid of depression

Sorry, to basically be double posting, but if your going down the herbal route I highly suggest you research the product before hand. None of that stuff is FDA regulated and it can interfere with your body in ways that you do not expect.

 

[Out of Working Order]

In what ways? I tried St John's Wort, but couldn't stick to routinely taking it. Still have some capsules left yet, but I've not taken it for months.

 

[lowrider007]

nm

 

[terrdactycalsrock]

In what ways? I tried St John's Wort, but couldn't stick to routinely taking it. Still have some capsules left yet, but I've not taken it for months.

I use mayoclinic in a lot of my research. Now remember I am in undergraduate school, I am by no means a professional, go see your doctor. But lets check this out. It says that numerous studies report that St.Johns wort is more effective than a placebo and equally effective as a tricyclic antidepressant drug for short term treatment of mild-to-moderate depression. They list short term treatment as 1-3 months. The website goes on to say that gastrointestinal problems, fatigue, headaches, dizziness, sedation, and sexual dysfunction including impotence can occur.

A lot of these side effects are in my antidepressant meds as well, so theres a chance if you take an antidepressant and this the side effects can multiplay.


http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/st-johns-wort/NS_patient-stjohnswort

 

[Uchip]

st johns wart did absolutely nothing for me

 

[jb1234]

I tried St John's Wort and it worked for a few months and then suddenly stopped, and I felt worse than ever.

It makes me feel bad, too, because I don't have the clinical problems a lot of people in here do, and I feel bad for feeling the way I feel. :/

Why? Pain is pain, regardless.

 

[Femmeworth]

Yep...

It makes me feel bad, too, because I don't have the clinical problems a lot of people in here do, and I feel bad for feeling the way I feel. :/

Don't feel that way, psychological problems are real problems. The brain is an organ too.

 

[TUROK]

Yep...

It makes me feel bad, too, because I don't have the clinical problems a lot of people in here do, and I feel bad for feeling the way I feel. :/

I feel the same way. I just want to talk to someone who knows me about it, but I've never talked to anyone about personal stuff like this, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm whining about being "sad."

 

[Leeness]

Why? Pain is pain, regardless.

Don't feel that way, psychological problems are real problems. The brain is an organ too.

I know, in a way, it's just like "jeez my problems are nothing compared to this, I should just fucking get over it". I dunno, it's dumb.

I hope everyone in here feels better tomorrow <3

I feel the same way. I just want to talk to someone who knows me about it, but I've never talked to anyone about personal stuff like this, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm whining about being "sad."

I don't talk to anyone IRL about it other than my therapist. I don't want to burden them with my stupid problems. :/

 

[Sub_Level]

Today was pretty good for me, had my first day of work at an upscale restaurant and it was awesome. This year has been hard from having girls rejecting me but my depression has been extremely curbed. For a good (well, bad) 5 or 6 years of my life i got extreme anxiety and was depressed every weekend. Nowadays it seems like my coping skills are more in check. Im not always a happy camper but i feel more in control of my emotions. This is the most generic useless advice but you guys (and girls) need to hang in there. You dont become a different person overnight. Its not hopeless, life comes in good and bad, not fucked forever and happily ever after

 

[Kingbrave]

I don't talk to anyone IRL about it other than my therapist. I don't want to burden them with my stupid problems. :/

This is how I feel. I feel like I'm whining and that I'm not important enough so no one else cares either.

 

[TUROK]

I don't talk to anyone IRL about it other than my therapist. I don't want to burden them with my stupid problems. :/

I can empathize with that. My friends think I have my shit together. I don't want to break that illusion.

 

[Leeness]

This is how I feel. I feel like I'm whining and that I'm not important enough so no one else cares either.

I can empathize with that. My friends think I have my shit together. I don't want to break that illusion.

Pretty much.

Except my friends know I don't have my shit together, but not how crazy I am. haha. It's just an uncomfortable subject.

 

[LegoArmo]

I feel anxious to the point of torture, it feels like my brain is burning. I'm sat on my bed in the dark and I'm waiting to talk to a girl about something important, that's not until Tuesday, but the waiting and this feeling is hard.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I refuse to take any drugs or medication. I want my body and mind to be able to deal with things on its own.

It doesn't seem capable.

 

[Natetan]

I feel anxious to the point of torture, it feels like my brain is burning. I'm sat on my bed in the dark and I'm waiting to talk to a girl about something important, that's not until Tuesday, but the waiting and this feeling is hard.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I refuse to take any drugs or medication. I want my body and mind to be able to deal with things on its own.

It doesn't seem capable.

is it the talk with the girl that is causing you anxiety?

 

[Suite Pee]

may not worked for everyone but B12,

I think it saved my life

I take 1 capsule daily 25000% of the daily dosage

it keeps the bad thoughts away for me at least

That reminds me, I need to go to my doctor's office to get my B12 shot.

You definitely learn its importance in mental/physical health when your body can't absorb it anymore.

 

[Agent Cooper]

So fucking upset. I'm shaking with anger. Everyone guilts me. I can never make my own decisions. I want to scream.

Gosh, I sound like an obnoxious teenager.

 

[Leeness]

So fucking upset. I'm shaking with anger. Everyone guilts me. I can never make my own decisions. I want to scream.

Gosh, I sound like an obnoxious teenager.

What's wrong, bb? PM me if you don't want to talk about it in here.

 

[metalslimer]

Been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately. Not in the I actively want to kill myself way, but more in the life is completely draining and nothing good comes out of it way. Nothing extremely serious as they seem to come and go in bursts, but I've just felt completely drained the last week or so. I think it's about time I actually talk to someone.

 

[celebi23]

I've been doing pretty well. I think I mentioned it before but, heres my story with depression (warning, it's kinda long):
My mom died in December of 2007 and I was depressed off and on since then (I had some physical health problems that kinda added to the depression a bit). Around the end of April 2011, I seriously thought about killing myself. Because of the depression, I was missing classes because I just wanted to stay in bed. That led me to be behind in work. I was then too embarrassed about the missing work and the depression that I pretty much stopped going to classes all together. When I told my dad that I was going to campus for my classes (I commute), I'd actually just stay in the library. Everything was snowballing and I thought the only way out was killing myself. We were all having dinner one night and my sister told me that she was really worried that I'd hurt myself. I'll never forget the look in her eyes. That gave me the boost I needed to get help.

I went to a counselor at school and was brought straight to Hartford Hospital, where I stayed for about 8 hours before being transferred to a psych hospital. I was in there for 10 days. Tons of group stuff and I was put on celexa 20MG. That saved my life The most important thing I learned there was that everyone deals with depression. Hell, my uncle thought about killing himself 10 years ago (I had no idea until he told me). The outpouring of support was amazing. My dad came to visit me every day for dinner. Sometimes my sister would join him, sometimes my grandparents, or my uncle. Anyone who didn't visit called me. I thought I was completely alone, before going into the hospital. I couldn't have been more wrong. I was no longer embarrassed to be depressed.

When I left the hospital, I was in an outpatient program for 3 days a week, for a month. My Dr. increased the celexa to 40MG and added 1MG of Risperdal. After that, I started in a group that meets once a week, started seeing a psychiatrist and an individual therapist. I took off from school from when I went into the hospital until this current semester. I've been lucky to have formed an amazing support network. The people in my group are fantastic. They're around my age and it's kinda a continuation from the hospital. We all have similar issues and we're all incredibly supportive of everyone.

My psychiatrist took me off the Risperdal and switched me to 300MG of Wellbutrin. I've been doing a lot better I'm back in school, I'm dating someone, trying to get a job. I can kinda see the pieces of my future almost falling into place, like I can see where some of them go. I guess I just wanted to say to you all dealing with depression that it may feel like the world is against you or, you don't see a way out. There is ALWAYS someone who cares about you and will be understanding about ANYTHING. Trust me. I spent a ton of money on frivilous stuff, like games and porn websites, and lied to my family for months about school. If my they can be understanding and forgiving, and just amazing, then there is DEFINITELY someone in your life that will be too. You are never alone

 

[Uchip]

@celebi
I was on risperdal due to psychosis
not aware it was prescribed for anything else...

actually, checking the information its generally not

 

[way more]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask but how you do guys deal with thoughts of suicide? I've been struggling with this alot lately. It's been an ongoing issue my whole life. Was baker acted into a hospital for an overdose in my teens. Only survived the overdose due to a friend who called the ambulance just in time.

It's been over a decade since all that happened. Now I feel like I'm going through this cycle again. Last night it kept me up, thinking about all the details on how I'd blow my brains out. Thoughts of my pain I'd cause my family always keep from committing on it. I just want to the thoughts to go away.

I'm considering getting back on medication. Even though I hated myself when I was on them.

Paxil instantly removed suicidal thoughts from my day. I'm not sure how you can choose the suicidal thoughts over medication. There is just a wide variety of meds that to discount them is just irrational. Suicidal thoughts are a symptom like vomiting blood daily, it should be addressed before anything else.

 

[Prez]

Anyone have some advice to accept being an introvert? Also, I'm seeing a psychiatrist in two days to discuss medication but I have no idea what to tell. I want get rid of my anxiety but I don't want to be sedated either. Is there some kind of medication that could help with social anxiety without sedating?

I've been fighting social anxiety for over 6 years, but now I've started to realize that the only solution is to accept that I'm an introvert (been seeing a therapist for a while and she agrees). I've always been forcing myself to be social and it drains all my energy. A full day of school is extremely exhausting. Even 20 hours of classes in a week requires the full week-end to recover. During all of my spare time I'm too tired to do anything productive. The slightest mental effort exhausts me, yet everything I love to do requires mental effort (read, play music, study about subjects I'm interested in). As a result I don't have the energy to do any of those things and I remain discontent with myself and my abilities.

In the past months my anxiety has been getting worse by the day. I'm too scared to go to class now because my class group is a very close group and I feel left out. I feel particularly bad because they are very open towards me and they've asked me several times to join them when they were going out, but I'm just too frightened. I have joined them a couple times but the whole time I was with them I didn't say much and I felt horrible for being asocial. I do often join them for lunch but that hasn't brought me any closer to them. This has always been an issue for me: I just can't get close to people and build an emotional connection.

If I could just give up on wanting to be social I could finally get rid of my anxiety. I'd still be an introvert but I could finally have some inner peace. It's hard to accept this solution though. I have to accept my loneliness but I don't like being lonely at all. I do love to be alone though which is different from being lonely (ie having no one you can emotionally connect with).

 

[neojubei]

Yeah, some of my male friends try and equate my difficulties dating etc, and i'm not saying there arent some parallels. You often feel like finding the type of person you like who will like you too is just so miniscule and you get all worked up over that one person. But I think for gay guys it can be just that much more difficult.

I think you can do a lot with personality. You can work on the fat part, and also put yourself into your interests and be passionate about them. Just work from there. You might not catch someone's eye at a club or anything, but there is always room to build up a relationship over time.

I have no interests and i just don't have the energy or strength to even work out anymore.

What are you taking and how long have you been taking it?

Just because you don't think you're cute doesn't make you worthless at all.

I am worthless. I have no interests, no goals, nothing really going in my life. I should have died a long time ago.

 

[eosos]

I'm wondering if I have minor depression, but I don't really know what to do about it. Like I'll be insanely sad for a few hours during the day. I'll stay awake just brooding on certain things for hours which really sucks. Like I get weirdly sad. Or I just won't want to do anything with anyone. Sometimes its like everyday, but then it can go away for a few days as well. It's weird. Not really sure if it's just normal or not. I dunno, just thought I'd share and see if anyone else is in the same boat as me.

 

[Prez]

I have no interests and i just don't have the energy or strength to even work out anymore.

I am worthless. I have no interests, no goals, nothing really going in my life. I should have died a long time ago.

Open yourself up to things you normally wouldn't pay any attention to. Go to the library an entire day and browse books on subjects you think don't interest you. Or go through the Taschen website and don't skip a single subject/book. First impressions can be horribly misleading and keep you from discovering a lot of new things.

I wasn't interested in a lot of things until went out of my way to find out about them. Photography was boring to me until I discovered the work of a few amazing photographers. Didn't care about architecture until I learned about mid-century design. I never listened to jazz because all I knew about was the most popular stuff. Then I dug a little deeper and a huge amount of music was revealed to me. Didn't like classical music until I heard Ravel's Daphnis et Chloé. I wasn't interested in building electronics until I bought a Velleman kit. And it doesn't stop. Just by opening myself up to new things, I keep finding new interests all the time. Just a few weeks ago, I wasn't interested in poetry until I read something I could relate to. I still can't relate to a lot of poetry but it did open up a whole new world to me.

If you see something that's entirely new to you, give it a try. Don't ignore new things because they don't appeal to you right away, that effectively keeps you from finding new interests.

There might be things that already interest you, but you haven't explored yet. Do you like space? Dinosaurs? A certain era or event in history? Something you've seen on television or read about? Find an interesting book on those subjects and learn a little more about them. This will often introduce you to other subjects you might be interested in. Read Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything, it discusses a lot of different subjects you may find interesting and want to learn more about.

 

[Tess3ract]

Those are all good tips but when someone thinks like that, they likely only ever have the energy to read your post and never apply it. I've been feeling better about myself lately, but I've been there and that's what i'd do.

 

[lunch]

Open yourself up to things you normally wouldn't pay any attention to. Go to the library an entire day and browse books on subjects you think don't interest you. Or go through the Taschen website and don't skip a single subject/book. First impressions can be horribly misleading and keep you from discovering a lot of

I wasn't interested in a lot of things until went out of my way to find out about them. Photography was boring to me until I discovered the work of a few amazing photographers. Didn't care about architecture until I learned about mid-century design. I never listened to jazz because all I knew about was the most popular stuff. Then I dug a little deeper and a huge amount of music was revealed to me. Didn't like classical music until I heard Ravel's Daphnis et Chloé. I wasn't interested in building electronics until I bought a Velleman kit. And it doesn't stop. Just by opening myself up to new things, I keep finding new interests all the time. Just a few weeks ago, I wasn't interested in poetry until I read something I could relate to. I still can't relate to a lot of poetry but it did open up a whole new world to me.

If you see something that's entirely new to you, give it a try. Don't ignore new things because they don't appeal to you right away, that effectively keeps you from finding new interests.

There might be things that already interest you, but you haven't explored those interests yet. Do you like space? Dinosaurs? A certain era or event in history? Something you've seen on television or read about? Find an interesting book on those subjects and learn a little more about them. This will often introduce you to other subjects you might be interested in. Read Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything, it discusses a lot of different subjects you may find interesting and want to learn more about.

Checking out some of the things you mentioned, which are seriously cool, and I'm going to listen to Daphnis et Chloé when I get a chance. Out of curiosity, what poem did you read that you enjoyed?

 

[nan0]

I'm wondering if I have minor depression, but I don't really know what to do about it. Like I'll be insanely sad for a few hours during the day. I'll stay awake just brooding on certain things for hours which really sucks. Like I get weirdly sad. Or I just won't want to do anything with anyone. Sometimes its like everyday, but then it can go away for a few days as well. It's weird. Not really sure if it's just normal or not. I dunno, just thought I'd share and see if anyone else is in the same boat as me.

Might be a minor depression, but might just be melancholia as well. I have that too, but it's usually not an issue if I'm busy (which is currently not the case). I get that alot on sundays, but haven't found any remedy aside from distracting oneself.

 

[Prez]

Those are all good tips but when someone thinks like that, they likely only ever have the energy to read your post and never apply it. I've been feeling better about myself lately, but I've been there and that's what i'd do.

That's how I got out of my depression. I've been horribly depressed for years and for a few months I thought about killing myself all the time. By opening myself up to new things I discovered many new worlds that I didn't know about, so many beautiful things in this world that I couldn't miss now. Even now it's the only thing that gets me through life because other than that my situation has worsened since then (more anxiety, failed studies, lost the only friend I had). I have managed to deal with it better because now it constrasts all the beauty the world has to offer and I have grown confident that someday with enough effort I may be able to make my own contribution to humanity.

Do not take this post as sound advice though. I know it's different for everyone.

 

[Windam]

Great, so now my parents are going to tell my whole family I'm depressed, as if it's any of their fucking business. No one really understands it though, so I'm in for a myriad of sarcastic jokes and insults ("So they're going to label you as 'mad' now, right?" "Just get a girlfriend and everything will go away!" etc.). Fuck. I hate my life. I wish I had friends. Or interests/hobbies. I got nothing.

 

[zoukka]

Great, so now my parents are going to tell my whole family I'm depressed, as if it's any of their fucking business. No one really understands it though, so I'm in for a myriad of sarcastic jokes and insults ("So they're going to label you as 'mad' now, right?" "Just get a girlfriend and everything will go away!" etc.). Fuck. I hate my life. I wish I had friends. Or interests/hobbies. I got nothing.

Have you considered moving out?

 

[Windam]

Have you considered moving out?

I'm still in high school (17), so I don't think it would be a good idea right now, as much as I'd like to. Even if I did though, it would just mean that I'd be even more alone.

 

[Prez]

Checking out some of the things you mentioned, which are seriously cool, and I'm going to listen to Daphnis et Chloé when I get a chance. Out of curiosity, what poem did you read that you enjoyed?

Poetry from Jotie T'Hooft and Baudelaire. No particular poems really.

These things are different for everyone. What I can relate to, others can't and vice versa. You need to find out what really speaks to you on your own and that may require a lot of exploring but it's worth it. If you see something that appeals to you, go to the library and find out more. That's what I did when I saw a piece of mid-century furniture and photographs by William Claxton. Most people just think "nice" and move on. Interests don't magically appear out of nowhere, you have to go out and learn what's out there.

 

[bitoriginal]

Any of you suffer from fibromyalgia? Can you post your experience with it please?