LadyGAF Advises ManGAF
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thebaroness
Member
I personally consider being hairy not that bad. A waxed, smooth man is weird and gross to me. But I think I'm also in the minority. I know alot of gals say they "make their guys wax". Yuck.
Dance Inferno
Unconfirmed Member
Dude she agreed to go out with you because she likes you, so just keep doing what you were doing before.
A mistake most guys make (and I have been guilty of this myself) is acting differently with a girl once they start going out with her. She agreed to go out with you because of how you were acting before you asked her out, so why change that?
Devolution
Member
Just trim that shit.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
No. A girl can look at you, smile at you, talk to you, laugh at your jokes, flirt with you, physically touch you, and still not be interested.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
But if she does all those things, there is a far greater probability and likelihood that she is interested.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Obviously it's all about probability but he asked for sure fire. The only sure fire signal you're gonna get is if she basically sexually harasses you.
Devolution
Member
Sorry we're pretty stealth.
Devolution
Member
Did she glance or is she actually looking at you?
I can't say, I don't like staring at girls really. Like I said I don't want to be one of those guys. :/ I would say multiple looks though when I glanced around but I'm not sure.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
She wants your dick.
Your facetiousness makes me empty on the inside.
Chuckie
Member
She probably does though.
On a more serious note, if she looks more often, just make eyecontact and smile. If she smiles back, go from there... if she looks away don't bother.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Your woe sustains me.
But you should have made eye contact and smiled. If she looks away, well then that's that. If she smiles back, you're golden.
I desperately wish women were more like the Math side of the SAT test, but unfortunately they're like the English side. You're looking for the best possible answer.
Devolution
Member
No you don't then shit would ultimately be boring and formulaic.
Huh, see I hate math but love English. I always liked it because I felt like I was in control of my work and knew what I was doing, which is definitely not the case with flirtation or stuff like that. It feels more like shooting craps to me.
Formulas aren't boring! Very few things would excite me more than the completion of the unified field theorem; it would honestly be a monumental day for mankind.
But it was a joke regardless. I was expecting you would call me out for singling out women as the unpredictable ones, which might imply that men are more logical / predictable / better at math. Which wasn't true because, again, it was a joke, and having to be comprehensively politically correct is usually poison for jokes (not that I'm particularly funny anyway). I also enjoy the irony of being unable to predict your reaction in this context.
Devolution
Member
I think people in general can be unpredictable plus I'm used to talking about women in these kinds of threads not generally denoting that men are somehow adverse to doing whatever is being discussed too. However since most of the dating/advice threads will generally not see the reverse, there will be less "what is up with the men" statements. While it's relatively more easy for my gender to hook up, relationship problems are pretty universal.
Confused101
Member
I realize you're not being serious here, but man, I wish the same thing. Being able to get a definitive answer by ways of deduction would greatly help out someone like me who is completely oblivious to the "hints" women give away like tone of voice or body language. That shit flies right over my head.
Yeah, it's always going to feel like shooting craps. The very hard lesson you have to learn is that you must take a gambler's approach to courtship, you can't plan every detail out. It kinda falls in line with the "STOP LOOKING" part you were told earlier. As long as you keep actively obsessing over the concept of landing a SO and keep trying to figure out the best way to do so, you will fail no matter what. If you stop concentrating on that and instead focus on making yourself happy first, more than likely you will randomly fall, trip, and stumble your way into a relationship.
My feelings for you are like a multiple choice test and you have the answer key.
Vermillion
Banned
I did well on English side, so.
I've tried to do that, I mean I do that still pretty much. I do stuff I enjoy and I keep very good care of myself, but it's still something I think about. I mean how can you not think about it?
I think what makes it easy for me is that I know that not everyone is destined for a soulmate, some folks live out life simply bouncing from SO to SO, some have to wait until they're in their 50s just to find someone, and some simply live and die alone. Fact of the matter is that you shouldn't need a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a wife or a husband to ensure quality of life, you should only need you.
I see people as being like languages (*cough* linguist analogy incoming.) After studying them for long enough you can typically find a great deal of patterns that let you understand them, but there are still enough irregularities that can confuse you if you don't know about them already. But each the rules and patterns and irregularities of each language varies from language to language so each time you run into a new one you have to study it to understand it.
It makes sense that something that developed from humans would be so like humans themselves.
No, fuck no. Fuck that. That's not how I want to live my life.
Wait, no. Soulmates are crap. That assumes there is one person you're destined for.
I think I rather prefer the idea of finding someone perfect for you without destiny being involved. It's that much more amazing.
Ummm, Yes, Fuck Yes, that's the hard reality of life, and the sooner you get around to stop thinking constantly about trying to find a SO and start trying to live the best life that you can live, then you'll get out of this mental he'll that you've built for yourself. Plus the moment you finally start tasting life for what it truly is, you'll have a lady drop into your life out of nowhere.
Oops, yeah I should say I don't believe in the concept of a soul mate as well. When I was younger I was stupid and believed in that whole concept of finding "The Woman of Destiny", I tried to over plan my attempts at landing dates like I was using FF12's Gambit system. Needless to say, I hit the proverbial "Game Over" screen for a while, so yeah, being chaotic is so much more fun.
Absolutely true. In my experience, people are fairly formulaic - at least in these sense of being more like mathematical logic problems than conceptual English ones. If we were all especially chaotic and unpredictable, we'd have a much harder time forming societies, and would care a good deal less about adherence to cultural norms. Generally speaking, people who are more difficult to understand just happen to be less typical or more complex than average, but it all boils down to experience and observation of behavioural patterns.
Izick said:
I'm the same way in terms of academic strengths, but I have no issues understanding flirtation. I think the problem for a lot of people is that they get lost in their own heads. You can't overthink flirtation. Reading signals and reacting appropriately boils down to understanding some fairly basic cues. Barring autism spectrum disorders and face-blindness, these cues are reasonably easy to identify and comprehend.
With regard to your 'is she checking me out?' problem, as others have said, exchange a smile, and strike up a conversation if it seems appropriate. But I think fmpanda is right: it sounds like you need to work on being okay with you if you want such interactions to flow more easily. Best advice I can give is try to relax. Cultivate calm in every aspect of your life, and suddenly these exchanges will stop feeling like minefields and start feeling like a bit of fun that may hold potential, but are of no significant consequence. You don't have to be confident, you don't have to be extrovert. You just have to be at peace with yourself and with your interactions. As long as you're not worrying about screwing up the first words you say to your future spouse before opening your mouth, you'll be able to throw out a "hey, how's it going?" to anyone without sounding creepy or inappropriate; then see if a conversation develops through which you can gauge if there's mutual interest.
Devolution
Member
Polo Classic or Polo Black. Mmmm.
I once doused myself in this to impress a girl, who doesn't love a ten year old soaked in Polo?
ManGAF here.
Yes, __less is more__, go to Sephora (or your local equivalent) and try some out.
L'eau D'issey Pour Homme is really good.
BladeWorker
Member
GirlGAF here.
...
Essentially, what this guy said.
But, I must also add:
Colognes and perfumes wear differently depending on your body and your natural musk. Chanel No 5 does NOT smell good on every woman. Ralph Lauren Polo does NOT smell good on every man. After using scent sticks to determine a scent or two that you like best initially, test it on a "hot spot" like the inside of your wrist (radial pulse), walk around for a couple of minutes (to let it warm and absorb) and then give it another whiff. Walk around the store for a bit (or leave and come back in a half hour) and if you still like how it smells on you, you've found a match.
Also bear in mind that oxidization and age changes the scent of a cologne or perfume, so don't use it once, let it sit for a year, and then expect it to smell as good as it did last year. Like many wines, perfumes can turn, and no matter what it cost, you should always toss it out, rather than smell like eau de Pepe Le Peu all day.
Ultimately, as long as you smell clean and showered, nobody is gonna complain. If you smell like you haven't bathed in days, or alternately, that you've only bathed in cologne, ain't nobody gonna wanna get you in close.
Devolution
Member
To add to this sometimes lotions work better.
But they put me in right field in little league.
It's the words you use around "something" like I want to lick the sweat from your toes or something.
If someone is that lacking in knowledge of social manners then dating is the least of their problems.
That explains it.
No, I want to have a family one day, and as far as I know I can asexually produce. Not to mention we're all social creatures; nobody wants to be alone, especially for the rest of their life.
See, I have no problems with anything social. Like I've never had talking to women if I know them or we're in an environment that it's organic. I don't like the idea of approaching somebody out of nowhere when they know that you're hitting on them. I don't know if it's just because I've known people who've done that or what, but I just don't want to be one of those guys that weasel in and try to talk to women when they're clearly not interested or that they can tell you're just like worming into having a conversation with them. I don't know.
I see where you're coming from, but in my experience, most people are flattered by the attention, even if they're not interested. Long as you don't back them into a corner, people rarely take offense if you choose to engage them in conversation; and their level of interest becomes apparent pretty quickly. So I'd suggest you take an optimistic stance and not worry about it. If you don't badger her with cheeseball pick-up lines, chances are she'll take you at face-value. You can't go wrong with a friendly greeting, and it's easy to instigate a conversation without being pushy as long as you leave plenty of room for her to end the interaction.
I know what you're saying but I just don't want to do it and then when they say no, it's going to be awkward if I ever see them again. I guess that's not that bad t college since it's so populated, but I don't know if I could do that to a girl that I'm in a class with or goes to the gym at the same time. When she says no, it's just going to be weird whenever I go there, awkward for me and the girl.
Good sir, it will certainly not be an awkward situation for the lady, as she will have probably fielded tons of similar lines from all sorts of guys throughout the day, yours will in no way shape or form make her go, "OH MY GOD! WHY IS THIS HIDEOUS THING FLIRTING WITH ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Even if she doesn't want to have any sort of conversation with you, the only one who will be awkward is you, and that's because of your own social issues.
Furthermore, I'll bring up what you said earlier about how we need to be social creatures. You have a family/friend support structure, right? There's your social needs fulfilled. Your family can help you overcome the fears you have in life and your friends can be your wingmen/wingwomen who are willing to help you out and also slap you around when you screw up, just like everyone on this thread is trying to do now.
You have an extraordinary fear of being alone in life, which is understandable, but that fear is consuming your ability to think straight when it comes to finding an SO. It's like you're trying too hard on every woman, thinking "This has got to be the one, I have got to get with her now!", when in actuality most guys get rejected hundreds of times, land quite a few first dates, have maybe 5-8 of those progress into relationships, and then MAYBE 1 of those will turn out to be a life partner, if they can build a marriage that lasts.
Stop putting all of these ladies on pedestals and treat them like ladies. Go up to them and try to start a conversation, if they don't want to talk, it's their loss, not yours. Get through rejection after rejection, and shortly, you will start landing some dates, and eventually, you'll find the SO that you've been looking for.
I appreciate the reply. I would have to say that I don't know if you completely understand where I'm coming from. Instead of expecting some sort of terrible response or something, I just don't want to be another sleezebag they're not interested that comes up to them and hits on them. Like you said, a lot of women (since men usually hit on women instead of the other way around, at least for the most part) are hearing this stuff multiple times a day, so it's probably really irritating and frustrating.
Also, I think everyone has a fear of being alone, no matter if they admit it or not. Nobody wants to be a cat lady or some old scrooge for the rest of their lives. Not to mention family and friends can't always give you what you need, and might not always be there when you need them. For example, 90% of my friends give or take only talk to me every once in a while because nobody went to the same college as me, and we only get to meet up over holidays or breaks. So it's not always there.
See, you're not going to be another sleazebag, you'll just be another dude asking a lady out. On top of that how do you know she'll react badly if you never take the chance in the first place?
Also, I'll tell you right now, I have no fear of being alone. If that's my fate, so be it. My only goal is to stop worrying and taste life, enjoying the everyday struggle along the way.
Finally, it seems you don't have too much of a friend structure. Get more friends.
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