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[Prez]

Sorry Prez but you have the sensitivity of a rhino. What are you doing here? Have you never been so down and out you thought of somehow dying but don't really wanna commit suicide? When your energy is that of a wet rug and what you really need is love and care first, and a small buttkick later?
Don't react to stuff that you seem to be ignorant to in this thread. Thanks.

What makes you jump to those conclusions? I'm too arrogant to kill myself but I really wouldn't mind if my life ended right now. And if I had any decent social skills I'd be on drugs in no time.

You could compare me to a deeply religious person who is miserable in every way but my faith keeps me alive.

 

[Bagels]

Hey guys, come and try the irc chat. It's live and I'm still in it right now.

It will be a persistent room locked by a password, so you can go into it whenever you like.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADDRESS:
http://chat.mibbit.com

1. CONNECT: leave the server dropdown on mibbit

2. NICK: choose whatever nickname you want
(although if you want to reserve a nickname for yourself only, there are other steps you can take. I used this guide because it was easiest, even though we're not really in the mozilla servers: https://wiki.mozilla.org/IRC
If you want to change your nickname at any time, type "/nick NAMEYOUWANT" )

3. CHANNEL: "#depression_gaf depressionsucks"
(type in all the stuff in the quotation marks. #depression_gaf is the channel, and the depressionsucks part is the password to enter into the room)

4. Press the "CONNECT" button~!
(tabs on the top will display the different channels or private chats you are in)


PROS:
- No character limits
- PM-chat is easy, just click on the name you want to PM (new chat tab opens)
- You can also easily ignore someone if you really wanted (like me.. I think? Or maybe not because I am mod right now. LOL)
- You can disable awful smileys if you register/login (it's very easy)
- If you have multiple windows open, it has a handy red line for when you last read the message so you don't lose your place!
- Your nickname will be highlighted if someone types it
- If a new message is typed while you are away from a tab, the name or channel on the tab will turn white

CONS:
- Slightly complicated if you want to figure out how to do wacky things like register nicknames and setup password and the like inside the chat thing.
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Let's do this.

 

[Harlock]

No depression here. Washing clothes always helps.

 

[neojubei]

I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I just hate the layers of fat on my awful body. I hate my genes my whole existence. I really don't know why I was even born when I don't even belong here. So fat and ugly horrible personality with no talents or skills.

 

[BadTaste]

I'm working on a brief guide to talk therapies - the therapist vs psychiatrist, drugs vs talk therapy, Freud's mom vs Jung's mom kinda questions that come up all the time in the thread.

In the meantime, here are the 4 key points:

1) talk therapy plus meds is universally agreed to be the best choice (assuming the universe is composed only of people who believe in science).

2) talk therapies are all more or less equally effective overall

3) the common drugs are all more or less equally effective

4) the drugs, therapies, and combinations that work for you are going to depend on your biology, psychology, social support, life experience, and on and on.

Like Piano, I'm happy to talk on and on about the meds I've tried, what I've been taught in the clinic (e.g. zoloft is the preferred drug for pregnant ladies or, presumably, pregnant men), what I've read.

I read every post in the thread, but I haven't had tons to contribute lately. I'm kinda saving up my strength for a few megaposts.

In the meantime, let me leave you with this actual quote from the clinic: "I'm just not that comfortable with all that traffic through my vagina."

Understood, thanks for those pointers! If the doctor brings up therapy I'll absolutely take it into consideration. Hopefully it's not just the proverbial "I'll prescribe you Antidepressants".

 

[Bagels]

Understood, thanks for those pointers! If the doctor brings up therapy I'll absolutely take it into consideration. Hopefully it's not just the proverbial "I'll prescribe you Antidepressants".

Just don't rule out the ADs altogether, either. Some of us could not function without them. I'm certainly not past that point. I treat my Effexor XR's like little friends - little friends I dissolved in my stomach who then get into my brain and just go wild.

 

[neojubei]

Looking at attractive guys especially in the male butt thread and gay gaf thread makes me see how truely unattractive I am. How can others be so good looking where did I go wrong in my life.

Sometimes I think it only takes a second and it would be over in a flash. Only a few seconds of pain then nothingness. Life will go on as usual. No more ugly me. To pass my genes on would be child abuse to my kids.

 

[Bagels]

Looking at attractive guys especially in the male butt thread and gay gaf thread makes me see how truely unattractive I am. How can others be so good looking where did I go wrong in my life.

Sometimes I think it only takes a second and it would be over in a flash. Only a few seconds of pain then nothingness. Life will go on as usual. No more ugly me. To pass my genes on would be child abuse to my kids.

Why do you have to compare yourself to these people? Especially when you're getting nothing of their full stories. Plenty of these people hate their bodies, or are hooked on drugs, or they're appreciated for nothing but their looks. It's easy to look at idealized humans and think, "I want that!" But do you really? There's nothing about you you'd prefer to their existence?

 

[Bagels]

Thanks. I’m hoping my therapist was able to provide at least a basic evaluation of myself without having to go through the process of introducing myself/my issues to a new person. I know it’ll be helpful in the long run, but the prospect of having to reintroduce my life to another doctor stresses me out. Or if it can kept clinical and I’ll still have my therapist for all that.

Okay, so i'll dig into a few thoughts I've had after reading your posts.

It strikes me that there are a few areas where a psychiatrist (an MD) can offer services beyond what a "therapist" can offer (some psychiatrists refer to themselves as therapists - like my hero, "Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist," but to keep it clear, we'll refer to people who exclusively practice talk therapy as "therapists").

So what can a psychiatrist do that's of genuine importance. First, there's a divide between shrinks who do mainly talk therapy and those who do mainly medication therapies, with plenty of overlap in the middle. In a Midwestern, kinda pragmatic model, a psychiatrist is skilled in the diagnosis of psychiatric disorders, their treatment, and the treatment of neuropsychiatric disorders like Alzheimers. So the shrink should be an excellent diagnostician and, hopefully, skilled in psychopharmacology. This is where a specialist will beat your family doc.

An overlooked part of the job of a psychiatrist, as an MD, is to rule out potentially reversible causes of depression - thyroid dysfunction, certain medications, comorbid medical conditions (traumatic brain injuries often cause depression), nervous system tumors, vitamin and hormonal deficiencies. Basically, the idea is to figure out if there are secondary causes for depression, some of which can be quite severe.

The next bit is trying to coordinate care. First, you'll be evaluated using some standard screening tests, as well as things lie the mini mental status exam. The idea is to get an idea of your overall neurological health. Admission to an inpatient unit often includes a full neuro workup - the distinctions between neurology and psychiatry are getting blurrier all the time.

Finally, yes, most shrinks work to tailor medication therapy to your symptoms. Again, a psychiatrist will just know more about drugs, multidrug therapy, dosing, all that stuff.

Those are just a few quick things that define the role of a psychiatrist in your mental health care.

 

[heidern]

Anyway, I just figured I'd share my little test results so if anyone else was interested in trying it but wasn't aware that omega-3 has been shown to at least do something to some people with depression they'd now know.

I've been looking into modifying my diet(unfortunately information on nutrition is disparate and not very well presented). I was looking at omega-3 and how much I need. The recommended amount is a minimum 3 grams a week which you can get from around 280 gram of oily fish. But its seems that omega-3 needed is relative to the omega-6 taken. This is because omega-3 and 6 compete for some of the same resources. Our ancestors took them at a 1:1 ratio, we take them at a 10:1 ratio. This is because of the increased use of Vegetable oil, primarily in processed food and also in restaurants(since it's so cheap).

NHS says you can have 2-4 portions of oily fish a week, so thats between 280-560 grams a week. Have white fish once or twice a week. Cut out the processed foods and cut down on eating out. That's a pretty good experiment I think. You could try that for a couple of weeks and then you could test supplements in addition for a couple of weeks to see what's best for you.

 

[Piano]

A quick cautionary word:
Natural =/= works well for everyone. Fish oil gave me horrible anxiety and insomnia. Which was a downer after reading 10,000 articles on how it'd make me feel less depressed.

 

[zoukka]

Looking at attractive guys especially in the male butt thread and gay gaf thread makes me see how truely unattractive I am. How can others be so good looking where did I go wrong in my life.

Sometimes I think it only takes a second and it would be over in a flash. Only a few seconds of pain then nothingness. Life will go on as usual. No more ugly me. To pass my genes on would be child abuse to my kids.

Your problem is both in your self-esteem and in your beauty standards and expectations. Besides, being quite young still, you have decades to get shape if that is something you dream of.

 

[heidern]

A quick cautionary word:
Natural =/= works well for everyone. Fish oil gave me horrible anxiety and insomnia. Which was a downer after reading 10,000 articles on how it'd make me feel less depressed.

A few questions:
1) Did you try one type of oily fish or did you test a few different ones? Did white fish cause the problems too?
2) Did you modify your portions or was any level a problem?
3) Was the rest of your diet fully balanced according to official guidelines?
4) Did you limit the use of processed food and food high in sugar?
5) Were you on any medication at the time?
6) Did you take fish oil supplements or any other supplements?
7) Were you getting recommended levels of physical activity?
Sorry, that's a lot of questions.

 

[Prez]

edit: never mind.

 

[Piano]

A few questions:
1) Did you try one type of oily fish or did you test a few different ones? Did white fish cause the problems too?
2) Did you modify your portions or was any level a problem?
3) Was the rest of your diet fully balanced according to official guidelines?
4) Did you limit the use of processed food and food high in sugar?
5) Were you on any medication at the time?
6) Did you take fish oil supplements or any other supplements?
7) Were you getting recommended levels of physical activity?
Sorry, that's a lot of questions.

1. I took pure fish oil (Nordic Naturals Brand) alternating with an Ultimate Omega supplement that had more of a 3/6/9 balance.
2. Felt nothing at 1600mg per day. Upped to ~3000 and it drove me wild. Adjusted down to somewhere in between for a few weeks before deciding I didn't care enough to figure out how to make it not suck. This was around 5 months ago so my memory isn't crystal clear.
3. I'm not familiar with official guidelines but I have a very balanced, protein based diet.
4. Yep, eat mostly raw and basic foods or things I cook at home.
5. I was on the same 4 medications I've been on for nearly a year (Lexapro, Buspar, Lamictal, Klonopin)
6. Don't see how this is different from 1?
7. I bike to and from work nearly every day.

 

[Piano]

And to double post on a new (old) topic: travelling back up to my apartment tomorrow away from my family and high school bedroom. The longer I stay here the more I find mementos from my ex girlfriend and the more its driving brutal conflict and longing in my emotions. Found a list we made of things to do together....

I'll finally see my current girlfriend again on Wednesday. Hoping it clears my mind. She's my jam.

 

[opticalmace]

2012 was the worst year of my life. I can't imagine this year could possibly be any worse. At least I'm still here.

A bit late but what made it such a terrible year for you?

Unrelated but it's 5:30 and I have to be up at 8. Shit sucks.

 

[BadTaste]

I've been suffering from trichotillomania since I was about 8 years old. It's no where near as bad as it was back then, and I specifically target my eye lashes when I do it. When I was a teenager I always had bald eyelids.

Nowadays I rarely do it, maybe I'll pull a few if I've heard bad news or if something made me feel miserable. I've started doing it to my actual hair on my head now but only little by little, not constantly pulling.

I'm thinking of asking the Doctor about it on Thursday but I don't know if he'll have time to consult me on that and depression... both are related but still.

 

[Charoncaori]

I've been suffering from trichotillomania since I was about 8 years old. It's no where near as bad as it was back then, and I specifically target my eye lashes when I do it. When I was a teenager I always had bald eyelids.

Nowadays I rarely do it, maybe I'll pull a few if I've heard bad news or if something made me feel miserable. I've started doing it to my actual hair on my head now but only little by little, not constantly pulling.

I'm thinking of asking the Doctor about it on Thursday but I don't know if he'll have time to consult me on that and depression... both are related but still.

If you're already seeing the doctor and talking about depression, you might as well bring it up.

A bit late but what made it such a terrible year for you?

Unrelated but it's 5:30 and I have to be up at 8. Shit sucks.

Well first I stopped going to/failed out of classes again around March.

Just after this, my mom (who I haven't seen in many years, and lives across the country, but finally was able to talk to a few times last year on the phone) passed away of cancer, without saying she was sick. I was notified immediately, but she was cremated 2 hours after her death. She had problems with depression and bipolar disorder and didn't pursue treatment. Additionally, she willed everything to a practical stranger who I guess cleaned her house occasionally, and this will was written in hospice, by a lawyer who had never met her, 2 or 3 days before she died, while she was heavily medicated, while within earshot of this person, which should all be illegal but Georgia laws are bullshit, so I'm now in a prolonged court battle with this person who is legally holding my mother's ashes hostage.

It's been about 6 months since this all went down, so I'm not nearly as bad as I was over the summer, but I haven't been able to pull myself together and go back to therapy (the one "good" thing that came from all this is I found out I'm still covered under my mom's insurance, but I need to call the insurance company and get everything sorted) and because I'm not being treated, I can't stay in classes with any consistency. So I'm just sitting around being a self-hating moocher and lashing out at the people close to me.

On the plus side, I donated a prize to that SDA cancer charity marathon dedicated to her, and every time I hear someone donating money trying to win it I feel a bit happier.

 

[neojubei]

I think I will try to listen to my heart instead of fears

 

[heidern]

1. I took pure fish oil (Nordic Naturals Brand) alternating with an Ultimate Omega supplement that had more of a 3/6/9 balance.
2. Felt nothing at 1600mg per day. Upped to ~3000 and it drove me wild. Adjusted down to somewhere in between for a few weeks before deciding I didn't care enough to figure out how to make it not suck. This was around 5 months ago so my memory isn't crystal clear.

Oh ok, I thought you were refering to eating actual oily fish(salmon, sardines, tuna etc) rather than supplements. The minimum recommended omega 3 is 3000 mg per week, with I think 4500 mg per week being optimal. So 3000 a day equates to 21000 per week which is way over what is normally recommended so having negative effects is not surprising.

3. I'm not familiar with official guidelines but I have a very balanced, protein based diet.

Here's some official food plans. And here's more specific data on each food group. You can check if there's anything missing in your diet. They recommend at least 2 portions of fish a week but that's because US consumption of fish is so low. Look at Japan where they have a portion every day. Hence why I would say 2 portions of oily fish and 1 or 2 portions of white fish seems smart and balanced as a starting point(Oily fish being the key since white fish has relatively low levels of omega 3). With meat and eggs helping for the rest of the week.

 

[Kentpaul]

5HTP supplements help with mild depression.

 

[Charoncaori]

I think I will try to listen to my heart instead of fears

Please talk with someone here if you need to, we're all here for you if you want. You've had better days, you won't feel this horrible all the time.

 

[Corky]

I can't stay here anymore...

Dear GAF ™, who can I stay at for a short period of time? Don't care where you live or who you are... I'm a nice guy who picks up after himself and doesn't cause any kind of ruckus whatsoever. I'm like a plant that waters himself... in the non-selfurination kind of way.

 

[la flama blanca]

Almost a year now with daily nausea, can't live like this anymore.

 

[99hertz]

Hello, I just have a couple questions about doctors and getting treatment, hopefully someone can answer.

This is a summary of a long post I wrote and then deleted before submitting:

I'm feeling awful. The suicidal thoughts are getting worse. I haven't thought about concrete ways of doing it, but suicide seems like a certain thing, like something inevitable that will happen in the future and the feelings of hopelessness kind of choke me and I start to cry. It worries me but what I think makes me feel like this is that I get anxious around people, it's really bad. I can't make friends or talk with people. Sometimes in public or in a class I sit down next to someone and they get up and move to another seat. I make people uncomfortable, I try not to care and while I don't blame anyone, it hurts a lot and the bad feelings get worse.

I want to go to my doctor (the gp or family doctor, I'm not sure what they're called in English).

I'm under 21 and I'm under my parents healthcare plan (well, the one that the government gives to poor people in my country, so there's a lot of papers to sign and things like that), so one of my parents has to go to my medical appointments with me to sign papers but I'm alone when talking to the doctor.

Questions:

- If I explain my problems to my doctor like what I wrote above, will he tell my parents? I don't want my family to know about the suicidal stuff, but I think they guess about me being depressed.

- What would most likely happen next? Would he refer me to a psychologist or psychiatrist or both?

- This questions might seem quite silly but is it possible that he would send me to some kind of mental institution because of the suicidal thoughts? I'm not going to do it, it just feels like it's a 100% certain event that will happen in the future, that I'm going to do it if something bad happens (sickness or accident of someone close to me or something that happens to me).

Thanks.

(I wrote the summary in one go without checking it, I'm not going to check it before submitting it because I might delete it again before hitting submit, I hope you guys understand. I might edit this post in a couple of days because I feel uncomfortable having so much personal stuff out in one post.)

 

[Charoncaori]

The way it works in the US is that the doctor has to keep your talks confidential, unless you are a danger to yourself or others. Even then, I think he would call a hospital or police instead of your parents. Edit: Actually, if you're under 21 and you go to a hospital, I think he would have to tell your parents, but otherwise he is still required not to tell them unless you sign a disclosure form.

You don't sound like you have any concrete suicide plans, or really dangerously suicidal currently, so I don't think he would send you to a mental institution. I don't mean to accuse you of not being depressed or anything though, and maybe I'm misunderstanding your situation, in which case I apologize.

But I don't know how the system works in your country, so you'd be better off asking someone who would know, I think. And I'm not a medical professional or anything.

Hope everything works out.

 

[Bagels]

And to double post on a new (old) topic: travelling back up to my apartment tomorrow away from my family and high school bedroom. The longer I stay here the more I find mementos from my ex girlfriend and the more its driving brutal conflict and longing in my emotions. Found a list we made of things to do together....

I'll finally see my current girlfriend again on Wednesday. Hoping it clears my mind. She's my jam.

Good luck, friend. You know where to find me.

 

[LightofRohan]

Well, I'm back here... great.

This is a hard time right now.

 

[opticalmace]

I can't stay here anymore...

Dear GAF ™, who can I stay at for a short period of time? Don't care where you live or who you are... I'm a nice guy who picks up after himself and doesn't cause any kind of ruckus whatsoever. I'm like a plant that waters himself... in the non-selfurination kind of way.

If you're serious you should make a new thread and post your current location.

 

[Corky]

If you're serious you should make a new thread and post your current location.

I am serious but it's not like I'm getting kicked out per se so no sympathy for me I guess. I don't want to live here anymore I'd do anything to get away.

 

[neojubei]

Your problem is both in your self-esteem and in your beauty standards and expectations. Besides, being quite young still, you have decades to get shape if that is something you dream of.

I'm not young. Sigh. Why can't I just die of a disease or in my sleep.
Maybe death is really this wonderful thing or at the very least it is oblivion so we won't exist anymore. I'm not living so dying seems to be better.

 

[VanillaCakeIsBurning]

Almost a year now with daily nausea, can't live like this anymore.

Well, I'm back here... great.

This is a hard time right now.

It's great that you want to talk about your issues. But more information is needed before we can make an appropriate response.

 

[zoukka]

I'm not young. Sigh. Why can't I just die of a disease or in my sleep.
Maybe death is really this wonderful thing or at the very least it is oblivion so we won't exist anymore. I'm not living so dying seems to be better.

So start living then. I started at 21, before which I felt kinda like you are feeling. Death is the end and eternity of nothing. Sure it might mean "no suffering", but it also means no possibilities to ever find out what life can offer. Take risks. What do you have to lose, if you are thinking of death?

 

[FoxSpirit]

What makes you jump to those conclusions? I'm too arrogant to kill myself but I really wouldn't mind if my life ended right now. And if I had any decent social skills I'd be on drugs in no time.

You could compare me to a deeply religious person who is miserable in every way but my faith keeps me alive.

Sorry, i was in a bit of a rage.

And it's interesting what keeps you alive at times. When I was 18 it was "no one is still in school with 31, I have no clue how but I will be out of this hell." I have to add I went to a particularly demanding school form that notorious for dropping out 50% of the students in the first two years. Sometimes I feel it's a miracle I graduated from there.

Of course, I was a total burnt out case afterwards and now am a museum warden. Sure paid off being in that all-boy tech facility, eh?

My sis recently said something about the destructive power of unfulfilled dreams and needs. I have to admit, she is pretty right. My sexual frustration has really started to warp my mind. *sigh*

So first I am so moral I feel guilty about pure sexual attraction, now I am so frustrated I am becoming really unfair against women *cries*

 

[Corky]

Fucking hell that ended quickly, here I thought I could manage to change anything this year and 9 days into 2013 I've never felt worse. I have the urge to constantly throw up but I haven't eaten anything, it's horrifying. It's as if I can't even breathe. God I want to die but I'm too much of a wimp to do it.

 

[Illithid Dude]

Lately I've been feeling kind of hollow. Not sad in any way, just devoid of any emotion or purpose. Things I love are loosing meaning for me. I find it hard to care strongly about anything. I've been going to sleep progressively earlier if only because I can't seem to find anything better to do. I can't concentrate. I'm constantly bored. The other day, I laid in my bed for three hours, just because I couldn't find any reason or will to get up. I'm not particularly sad in any way, just... empty. I figure DepressionGAF would be the place to ask: is this depression, or is this something else entirely?

 

[zoukka]

Lately I've been feeling kind of hollow. Not sad in any way, just devoid of any emotion or purpose. Things I love are loosing meaning for me. I find it hard to care strongly about anything. I've been going to sleep progressively earlier if only because I can't seem to find anything better to do. I can't concentrate. I'm constantly bored. The other day, I laid in my bed for three hours, just because I couldn't find any reason or will to get up. I'm not particularly sad in any way, just... empty. I figure DepressionGAF would be the place to ask: is this depression, or is this something else entirely?

That sounds like depression.

 

[Xzeon]

i dunno what to do, i think im just getting worse.

i have no energy, i really dont want to get out of bed, i just want to sleep.

i am a completely worthless idiot with no redeeming qualities, i am a burden to those around me and to the species as a whole, i contribute nothing.

i just want to die.

 

[I NEED SCISSORS]

Fucking hell that ended quickly, here I thought I could manage to change anything this year and 9 days into 2013 I've never felt worse. I have the urge to constantly throw up but I haven't eaten anything, it's horrifying. It's as if I can't even breathe. God I want to die but I'm too much of a wimp to do it.

You sure you're not just ill? I have flu and everyone I know seems to as well.

 

[Corky]

You sure you're not just ill? I have flu and everyone I know seems to as well.

Nah I was ill during xmas but got better. Two days ago I felt well enough to go to the gym but holy shit I feel like trash, even more than usual.

 

[revolverjgw]

Lately I've been feeling kind of hollow. Not sad in any way, just devoid of any emotion or purpose. Things I love are loosing meaning for me. I find it hard to care strongly about anything. I've been going to sleep progressively earlier if only because I can't seem to find anything better to do. I can't concentrate. I'm constantly bored. The other day, I laid in my bed for three hours, just because I couldn't find any reason or will to get up. I'm not particularly sad in any way, just... empty. I figure DepressionGAF would be the place to ask: is this depression, or is this something else entirely?

Sounds like it could be dysthymia. Tell your doctor, you don't want to let that go.

 

[99hertz]

Thank you Charoncaori.

From your answer and from google I think I'm ok to go, so I'm going as soon as possible.

 

[neojubei]

So start living then. I started at 21, before which I felt kinda like you are feeling. Death is the end and eternity of nothing. Sure it might mean "no suffering", but it also means no possibilities to ever find out what life can offer. Take risks. What do you have to lose, if you are thinking of death?

Why would I want to live in this world? The only possibilities is more pain and suffering. Why go out and get rejected by guys all the time or fail on my face trying to do something. Fate wants me to fail. If there is a god he wants me to fail.

 

[revolverjgw]

Why would I want to live in this world? The only possibilities is more pain and suffering. Why go out and get rejected by guys all the time or fail on my face trying to do something. Fate wants me to fail. If there is a god he wants me to fail.

As the great American philosopher Linda Hamilton said in one of her greatest works, The Terminator, "there is no fate but what we make for ourselves". You looked fine in your real pic avatar, why not work your ass off to get in shape and feel better about yourself? You have the time and the means to at least try that. Negativity and lack of confidence is very unattractive, that's your biggest problem. Fixing that is easier said than done, but fuck, it's doable if you try, you're nowhere near old. Focus on something like getting in shape for now, get some momentum.

 

[Prax]

Why would I want to live in this world? The only possibilities is more pain and suffering. Why go out and get rejected by guys all the time or fail on my face trying to do something. Fate wants me to fail. If there is a god he wants me to fail.

Because you still have hope in you that things will get better and even if you don't succeed, you are making incremental progress in your life experience pool.
And you want to punch "fate" in the face.

Do what you can do. I think I remember you saying that you liked going to the gym. Keep it up. You will get results. Along with a healthy diet. You can always also go to a stylist if you want to get into the whole dressing well game or to change your "look".

 

[FoxSpirit]

Reading a lot of the posts, I want to set up a sexual activity/frustration survey:
When was the last you had sex??
a)past few months
b)past half year
c)past year
d)2 years ago
e)3 or more years

I will start off and vote e).
And I feel like the world does not want me all too much, my only ray of light is my girl flatmate who is very nice about my terrible self security issues.
And my habit to just waste myself :-(

 

[zoukka]

Why would I want to live in this world? The only possibilities is more pain and suffering. Why go out and get rejected by guys all the time or fail on my face trying to do something. Fate wants me to fail. If there is a god he wants me to fail.

Why? Because people have made drastic changes to their lives before and will do as long as humanity exists. There is nothing physically stopping you, only your (depressed) brain that keeps telling you so.

 

[Corky]

Why? Because people have made drastic changes to their lives before and will do as long as humanity exists.

I feel like I've sealed my own fate by being a worthless person for the last couple of years. Kinda feel like there's no turning back and nothing to look forward to.

 

[FoxSpirit]

I feel like I've sealed my own fate by being a worthless person for the last couple of years. Kinda feel like there's no turning back and nothing to look forward to.

Well, there is no turning back and maybe you need to find something to look forward to. For me, I really like climbing now. It's pretty cool. Also started the clarinet though my practice is slumping and it's pretty demanding. Ah well, it will still improve over time.

... so everyone is like, hey cool... and yet *ugh* *is sexually frustrated*

Also, don't forget it's Winter, things always look worst there.