I, and I imagine most guys, wouldn't be in a relationship with a woman who didn't want to have sex. At that point, you're just friends.
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Virgin tight?
- Thread starter FortunateSon
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I, and I imagine most guys, wouldn't be in a relationship with a woman who didn't want to have sex. At that point, you're just friends.
That's me.
Now, arguably suffering from depression may very well have something to do with this... but when thinking objectively, i can't find any reason to be in a relationship. Not interested in forming a family, and merely sharing my life with someone doesn't sound appealing either (very private person usually).
Some people make someone being a virgin too big an issue.
People can be intime with others without having sex, but most are not intime with people they're not in relationship with. Someone can have sex without being intime.
Arguably the level of intimacy could be used to determine whether people are just friends or in relationship, no?
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
Back when I was a virgin, I'd tell girls. Truth be told, a lot of broads will get low key excited by it. It helps if you don't come across as a desperate loser though.
Spring-Loaded
Member
If that's accurate, GAF is Hogwarts
Not trying to white knight here but anyone who has the audacity to call another person ugly based on their looks shouldn't have their opinion held above fucking toilet paper. If your icon is what you look like, I am at a loss like a couple other people here. What's so "ugly" about your looks? Do you have a mole on your elbow or something?
I'm sure more than sex goes into a relationship, and for some it's not what they may hold so highly. Sure, some of you wouldn't like that, but I'm sure there are people who are just fine with it.
Haven't been a virgin since I was 16 so I never had the issue, but it's not really that big of a deal anyways... I think some of that stigma has been slowly fading away as of late and I contribute that to the openness of sex talk for the current generation.
shadowsdarknes
Member
I remember I was one of the last in my click to lose it when I was 16. I bragged loud and proud in school the following day hahaha. Was it worth humiliating the girl who had her eye set on me for awhile? Absolutely not. It was worth getting called an asshole in the middle of first period though.
NinjaBoiX
Member
Basically yeah. But a really, really close friend, that you're incredibly sexually attracted to. I couldn't do it. I can barely contain myself when a lady friend is having her special time, and sex is off the table for a few days. If she didn't want it ever, I'd be climbing up the walls.
Welp...
it's why I stopped trying. But yeah, even if someone did want to date me, I wouldn't anyway. I much prefer being on my own. 
NinjaBoiX
Member
You just haven't found the right man darlin'.Welp...
*cocks hat*
Ahem...
I NEED SCISSORS
Banned
I feel like I have the some problem as Leeness - people often tell me i'm good looking and would make great boyfriend material (my friends steal my romantic ideas that i'd use if I had a girlfriend ffs). But it's usually older people who give these compliments, or people already in a relationship. Single women around my age range (21) just don't want to talk to me or even acknowledge me most of the time, so yeah i've pretty much given up on dating too.
I'm not referring to having sex, I'm referring to not conforming to some supposed ideal age range. It certainly isn't worthy of self-inflicted stigma.
You probably have to find someone in your "niche". People tell me I'm handsome and a good person all the time but I think I'm a parasitic motherfucker. I often think to myself what good I can ever offer, and not being happy with the answer I come up with, I don't go any further. Outside of moving, dealing with a dying mother, and trying to get my vocation rolling forward, it's that thinking that stunts all interest in a relationship. Until I've done something good in the world, relationships can keep on waiting because I don't care. I'd like to pour myself out to the world at large before I pour it into one significant person in a sea of many.
Welp...
If that's you in your avatar picture, you're a good looking girl and that's the truth. No need to let some offhand comments someone made keep you down. People say mean things to other people sometimes, and they aren't even always true; things like looks are subjective, but I'd be surprised if the significant majority of guys out there didn't find you to be a looker, whether they say so or not.
NinjaBoiX
Member
What if you got with a lady, and found out she had mass orgies every night, and took loads of cum in the face and ass every night? You wouldn't mind?
Be more assertive and aggressive. Younger women especially will sometimes not have the maturity to see past the showman, so you have to compete by demonstrating you're a socially capable 'winner' and make moves.
depths20XX
Member
I'm sexually frustrated just reading this.
That friendship must be really, REALLY amazing to be in a relationship with a lady who didn't want to have / no interest in sex at all. It's different if the person's a virgin because they're saving it for marriage, but just a plain 'ol complete lack of interest in sex? Nah.
Most guys couldn't. I imagine it's the same for ladies, as well. Sex is generally part of a healthy adult relationship. It's part of what separates friendship from relationship
I would worry if she was clean or not.
This kid I know was a virgin in his early 20s. Not good lookin, dorky etc... His coworkers knew about it. A free-minded decent looking female co-worker liked the idea of deflowering him. Let's just say she yanked him in a work closet and did the kid a favor. This was 8yrs ago and I doubt he's gotten any since.
Honestly, sometimes.
I dont know though. i guess i just got used to it. I pretty much figured for this long, this will be the one i am with the remainder of my life. I also dont think there is anyone else out there who would deal with me and my multitude of issues either. So i guess ti works out for that reason.
Davey Cakes
Member
Me too. The idea that you should have sex before you're 18 is basically a middle school idea in itself.
It's not that important. When it happens, it happens, and it's great. Well, maybe not the first time, but after that it's all good.
My ex didn't masturbate and didn't know how to orgasm. I was able to bring her to one. So does it still matter that I waited until I was 21?
I did lie to her when she asked me if I'd had sex before, so that lends itself to the thread. As a guy that virgin stigma was definitely there, admittedly.
All I was getting at is some relationships are different than others, depending on the people. Some people could be in romantic relationships and they're not too hot on sexual stuff. I don't find that hard to fathom at all. Maybe you or I could have issue with something like that for ourselves, sure, but I don't see it out of the realm of possibility for some people to be perfectly content with that sort of lifestyle. The world is many shades of grey for many things, man.
lmao, perfect. I don't think your life is over if you haven't had sex by your early 20's. That img is whack and no doubt done by a virgin itself.
not me but this involved workers at a restaurant chain at Times Square.
shanshan310
Member
I'm pretty sure I've told people I was a virgin when I wasn't. To protect their innocence as much as my dignity.
Its really not. I doubt most women care really. In fact it can be kind of sexy.
Its really not. I doubt most women care really. In fact it can be kind of sexy.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
Some women get off on taking a man's virginity. I've known of some women to actually seek that out.
I still have my virginity at 25. I guess the opportunity never presented itself, it's not like that one thread where people were completely oblivious to possible sexual encounters. I took whatever chances I could get but I never got many. I had one relationship which didn't last very long, and she was a virgin for weird religious/moral reasons so we never had sex. Beyond that, I have a lot of problems getting close to other people and especially being intimate. I chalk this up to early childhood trauma, and currently I'm at a point in my life where I have nothing going, so my previous experiences coupled with my lack of self-esteem drive me away from pursuing relationships. Honestly I feel I'll remain a virgin for at least a few more years. It bothers me if I think about it, not because I'm ashamed, but because I feel I'm missing out on something and deep down inside I know that I have greater issues that need to be resolved.
shanshan310
Member
I guess it goes both ways. Though perhaps the appeal of taking a man's virginity is different to taking a lady's.
Going out of your way to search for virgins is kinda creepy though, regardless of sex. Actual attraction should probably be the main factor in choosing a partner
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why would you lie about that? Seems like a really awkward thing to lie about.
You can be intimate without being a in relationship. I once had this one very confusing relation with a girl, we weren't in a relationship yet we were practically like a couple. We'd sleep together, cuddle, hold hands but we never ever kissed let alone have something like sex. I was pretty happy because I got the emotional support I needed without the baggage that came with a relationship....that was until last year when things started to change but that's another story.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Depends on who it was, I guess. Family and stuff.
shanshan310
Member
Mostly to very sheltered religious friends. I wouldn't do it now, but I guess I felt more uncomfortable admitting I wasn't a virgin to a group of friends who all were. If that makes any sense.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Ah, if it was something like that then I can understand. I thought you meant people you were dating you lied to about being a virgin for some reason which is what seemed really weird. If it's other people then that's different.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Well, it's not like that's a lie you can keep for long.
I'd probably feel super violated if someone did that to me tbh. Rather keep my virginity than have someone use me as some kind of fetishistic gratification.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Ya, which is why I thought it was really awkward you would lie about something like that with someone you're dating.
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The Autumn Wind
Right? I'm sorry, but that's not "normal" by any stretch of the imagination.
That phrase in this context made me laugh for some reason.
I lost my virginity at 17. It sucked, I just wanted to have sex because I felt like I needed to and she wasn't particularly attractive.
But I didn't cum. In fact, I didn't cum the first 3 times I had sex. My cousin told me if you don't cum you're still a virgin. I stuck with that story lol.
But I didn't cum. In fact, I didn't cum the first 3 times I had sex. My cousin told me if you don't cum you're still a virgin. I stuck with that story lol.
People have different standards of "normal". I am trying to figure out why the word "normal" is getting tossed around in such a fashion.
I think being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed of.
I lost my virginity young, but I wasn't regularly having sex, either. I didn't get laid at all during high school, and quite a few years after.
I didn't start having regular sex again until my mid twenties. We ended up getting married years later. Don't put sex on this crazy pedestal, either. It's just sex. it's not this holy of holies. It feels good, yes, but it should be fun for both parties.
I lost my virginity young, but I wasn't regularly having sex, either. I didn't get laid at all during high school, and quite a few years after.
I didn't start having regular sex again until my mid twenties. We ended up getting married years later. Don't put sex on this crazy pedestal, either. It's just sex. it's not this holy of holies. It feels good, yes, but it should be fun for both parties.
xKilltheMx
Member
best post. So true. Its a hassle and an inconvenience to your partner. Ugh.
Link
The Autumn Wind
A woman not interested in sex and a man being ok with it for 11 years isn't normal. You may both be alright with it, but let's not act like it's regular behavior.
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