Giant Bomb Thread #4: A thread of perceived slights

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With the Monster Hunter quick look, Patrick has proven himself to be king of video games within the Giant Bomb office, with Vinny at this side. Everybody else is a pleb sitting outside in the sewage, playin' with shit. With shit taste.
 
I hope Vinny one day finishes Dark Souls.

I've been thinking about it and I'm pretty sure I enjoyed that game the most last year, with the possible exception of Sleepy Dawgs
 
Jintor said:
I hope Vinny one day finishes Dark Souls.

I've been thinking about it and I'm pretty sure I enjoyed that game the most last year, with the possible exception of Sleepy Dawgs
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Easy endurance run in the making if I ever saw one. Vinny/Brad. Vinny/Ryan. Vinny/Drew. Would all work.
 
Empty Space said:
There are no words, pic, or .gifs that accurately convey my confusion at frosty's post.
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cEG0c.gif
 
All right! Fan fiction contest.

Lik, Typo, and Felix Lighter can judge. Maybe Whitta can be the professional celeb guest judge? I think they're doing that on American Idol now, so it might work.

I'm thinking we start small with a ~3500 word limit. Has to feature at least three members of the Giant Bomb crew.

We could come up with a theme like they do in the OT creative fiction threads. "Regret" sound good?

As for prizes, you guys might have some good suggestions. OT4 title rights?

Let's rock.
 
I'm going to write about how one day I go to California and meet the Bomb crew and they like me and we have a party and its cool and fun and then when its over they say they want to be friends and I finally have friends.


THE END.
 
If I wasn't at risk of jeopardizing the reputation of our fine judging board's unbiased position, I would write a fanfiction where the staff was writing fan fictions about themselves at the past offices and each office change represents a deviation from the master timeline where all variations must come together to stop the inevitable rise of Kessler to the head of Giant Bomb. I could even set it at like Thanksgiving or something and make it a holiday special where everyone learns a little bit about each other and discover the true value of friendship in the workplace.
 
Oh man, I just got an even better idea.

I'm thinking a Wonder Years inspired dramedy where adult Jeff narrates his experiences.

http://www.giantbomb.com/jeff-gerstmann/3040-89712/ said:
Used to go to chess club meetings in school because their line for chocolate milk was shorter than the line at the cafeteria. As a result, he accidentally got into the chess club photo in his high school yearbook.
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Any kid who's ever been to high school knows one great universal truth. Image is everything. Who you are is pretty much who you appear to be. And who you appear to be is pretty much a matter of hard work and careful planning. For most kids, anyway.

http://www.giantbomb.com/jeff-gerstmann/3040-89712/ said:
Used money his parents left him for food to buy a Turbografx and a shirt that said "Shut Up, Bitch!" on it.

Purposely walked into English class late wearing the above shirt (that said "Shut up, Bitch!") and was forced to turn it inside out.
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In high school, image is everything. A dance with masks. A fight to fit in. Maybe it's a struggle that lasts a lifetime. For most of us, anyway.

7TGH201.gif
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Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart.
 
Patrick is so early into Monster Hunter it is kind of hilarious...

To hear him talk about it, it is as if someone just cleared the starting shooting gallery level of a COD game and then go to talk at length to all of his friends to say he "gets" the game now.

And no, that monster he was saying was the end boss... Lagiacrus is not the end boss of MH3. He is one of the first "real" boss monsters you face. But certainly not the last. Once you beat him you can say you have started to more than scratch the surface of the game.
 
PuppetMaster said:
Patrick is so early into Monster Hunter it is kind of hilarious...

To hear him talk about it, it is as if someone just cleared the starting shooting gallery level of a COD game and then go to talk at length to all of his friends to say he "gets" the game now.

And no, that monster he was saying was the end boss... Lagiacrus is not the end boss of MH3. He is one of the first "real" boss monsters you face. But certainly not the last. Once you beat him you can say you have started to more than scratch the surface of the game.
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Welp. The stereotype lives...
 
PuppetMaster said:
Patrick is so early into Monster Hunter it is kind of hilarious...

To hear him talk about it, it is as if someone just cleared the starting shooting gallery level of a COD game and then go to talk at length to all of his friends to say he "gets" the game now.

And no, that monster he was saying was the end boss... Lagiacrus is not the end boss of MH3. He is one of the first "real" boss monsters you face. But certainly not the last. Once you beat him you can say you have started to more than scratch the surface of the game.
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Hostile community boo this man
 
PuppetMaster said:
Patrick is so early into Monster Hunter it is kind of hilarious...

To hear him talk about it, it is as if someone just cleared the starting shooting gallery level of a COD game and then go to talk at length to all of his friends to say he "gets" the game now.

And no, that monster he was saying was the end boss... Lagiacrus is not the end boss of MH3. He is one of the first "real" boss monsters you face. But certainly not the last. Once you beat him you can say you have started to more than scratch the surface of the game.
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Could the tone of your post be anymore condescending? Patrick is trying to get as grasp on a game that has the complexity of an MMO mostly alone and your reaction is lol what a noob. I think he should be commended for taking the time to learn something new, which honestly none of the other guys have any interest in.
 
PuppetMaster said:
Patrick is so early into Monster Hunter it is kind of hilarious...

To hear him talk about it, it is as if someone just cleared the starting shooting gallery level of a COD game and then go to talk at length to all of his friends to say he "gets" the game now.

And no, that monster he was saying was the end boss... Lagiacrus is not the end boss of MH3. He is one of the first "real" boss monsters you face. But certainly not the last. Once you beat him you can say you have started to more than scratch the surface of the game.
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You would think that after years of mainstream western press ignoring these games, someone finally giving this series the time of day would perhaps be a little bit nicer than this. I would recommend pulling the stick our of your ass, sir.
 
I mean, personally, they never play action games the way I would play them (i.e. over and over and over again) but I don't think that makes their opinion any less valid or enjoyable.
 
A Pretty Panda said:
I have a fan fic too but it involves Sara Lima and I don't think I can post it.
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FADE IN:
APRIL 12, 2011 BART TRAIN CAR - MORNING

A smoky, overdecorated train car. The song “Rags to Riches” by Lee Howard blares through the headphones of an anonymous passenger. It is morning. Last night was a long night. JEFF, a thirty-something loner in a muddy and stained tracksuit, lounges in his seat. WE SEE a younger, dumbass looking JACKASS with tattoos and a stupid chin beard walk in with a large trunk held in his arms.

JACKASS
There’s no place to put my fuckin’ trunk!

Several people look up from their newspapers to view the JACKASS complaining to no one in particular. The JACKASS looks around waiting for people to agree with him, but is left dumbfounded when no one does.

JACKASS
Whatever. I’m mor’ important than all of you peons anyway. I can even use big words like “peon” co’ectly. Ya’ll get a four out of ten!

In a humph, the JACKASS finally sits his ass down and shuts up, with the trunk still clutched in his hands as the train whistle blows and announces the next stop, SAN FRANCISCO. Several people get up, including the JACKASS. Seeing this, JEFF rises as well.

JEFF
(to the JACKASS)
Hey, let me help you with that...

JACKASS
Tank’s, bro. I give you an eight out of ten.

JEFF picks up the trunk and carries it as JEFF and the JACKASS leave the train together.

EXT. BART TRAIN STATION - MORNING

JEFF and the JACKASS walk to the outskirts of the station.

JACKASS
Tank’s again, bro. People just don’t understand how important I am.

JEFF hands the trunk over to the JACKASS, but the JACKASS isn’t able to carry the trunk and his overinflated ego with both hands and drops the trunk. Video games spill out of the trunk and onto the floor.

JACKASS
Aww, bro, look whatya made me do! Two out of ten!

The JACKASS turns his back to JEFF to pick up the scattered games. JEFF glances around to find that no one is at the station; JEFF and the JACKASS are all alone. Seizing this opportunity, JEFF strikes and begins kicking the shit out of the JACKASS, smashing his head on the sidewalk. JEFF is exhausted. He picks up the remaining video games laying around the lifeless JACKASS’S body and turns to place them in the trunk.

JEFF opens the trunk. The trunk is filled to the rim with video games.

TILT UP and FREEZE ON JEFF’S face slamming the trunk shut.

JEFF (V.O.)
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a video gamer.

MAIN TITLE:
BOMBCASTERS

I had to look up three things. First, the day that Persona 4 starts. Second, the person who sung "Rags to Riches" in Goodfellas. Third, the script for Goodfellas to figure out how he wrote the V.O., freeze, and title.
 
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