Trayvon Martin. 27 feet tall, 4000 pounds, his skin hardened into a thick 2-inch-thick carapace of pure crack cocaine.
He rampages down the streets, picking up houses and pouring their TVs and jewelry into his mouth. All the while purple clouds of pure marijuana issue from his snorting nostrils, making him look like a mighty weed-dragon. No school or prison or school bus can contain him.
Enter expert marksman George Zimmerman, proud Mayan warrior. Attempting to peacefully stop the dark goliath from his pillaging with vis-a-vis discourse, Zimmerman is grabbed and squeezed to within an inch of his life. Spying a crack in the... crack (like the hole in the armor of the fiendish wyrm Smaug), Zimmerman takes aim and enters history.