So neither Prax's CPU nor a new CPU I tried fixed the problems with my computer getting BlueScreen errors. Fuck my life, time to reinstall W7 and hope for the best. If that doesn't work, I may just break the whole thing with a sledgehammer. This whole ordeal has been so frustrating.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
Lionheart1827
Member
I remember when I built my first PC, I had random restarts. I remember trying to replace the memory, vid card, cpu and in the end it was the mobo. :/
I hope you can figure it out!
Did you look into the error code the bluescreen gives you? The .dmp file with this info will normally be stored under C:\windows\Minidump
It can be opened and the problem can be narrowed down with the Windows Debugging tools that you can download for free. If you have trouble using it, then just send me the most recent .dmp file and I will help you out.
Welp, Canada Post decided to be dicks and lie about the delivery estimate. Instead of getting my replacement book from Chapters today, I'll have to wait until tomorrow. I really wanted something to read, since all this PC bullshit is making me lose my nerve. "Xpress Post" my ass.
I read a ton of those, and got something "AuthenticAMD" as the error. Since the new CPUs didn't help, I reinstalled Windows as a last resort. So far, so good. Just had the nVidia driver crash on me (almost had a heart attack because I thought I was getting another BlueScreen error). But thanks, I'll send you the latest one I have saved. Maybe you can make some sense of it.
Today's been frustrating, to say the least.
I read a ton of those, and got something "AuthenticAMD" as the error. Since the new CPUs didn't help, I reinstalled Windows as a last resort. So far, so good. Just had the nVidia driver crash on me (almost had a heart attack because I thought I was getting another BlueScreen error). But thanks, I'll send you the latest one I have saved. Maybe you can make some sense of it.
Today's been frustrating, to say the least.
User 100115
Banned
Just in case people here on my facebook are wondering what's going on:
Huge fire burning a few miles outside of my town. So far we are safe. Things might get hairy if the wind shifts. 0% contained.
Huge fire burning a few miles outside of my town. So far we are safe. Things might get hairy if the wind shifts. 0% contained.
Stay safe! I'll be thinking about ya!
ThLunarian
Member
Hi. I've never been in this thread before. I tried reading the OP but it was kind of overwhelming. Maybe typing all this stuff out here will help me. Sorry about the length of this post.
I feel inadequate lately. The last three women I dated have all been on my mind, and not in a good way. The first one broke up with me two years ago because, she said, she didn't see herself ever getting married. She then severed all contact. Last month, I found out that she's married now.
The second one broke up with me because she wanted to be polyamorous and I didn't. We still keep in touch because of a business arrangement, and I am constantly reminded that she is currently seeing three people, one of whom is a guy who was trying to get together with her while we were still dating.
The most recent one broke up with me just over a month ago, because she felt like she wasn't 100% in it and didn't want to string me along when she wasn't ready. She wants to continue being friends, and part of me does too, but another part isn't ready. I'm also scared that hanging out with her will make me hold out hope that we'll get back together.
Last week, I was on a first date with a girl. Things seemed to be going well, until halfway through, when she told me she was sorry but she couldn't go through with it; she was still hung up on someone else and asked me to go. I did, of course, and I'm not especially attached to this girl, but it's just another rejection in a long line.
I feel like something in my head has changed in the past six months, to where I am suddenly expecting to be disappointed and/or rejected by people, and I know it's not good. I don't feel like I have anyone I can really connect with or relate to. I have two best friends since elementary school, but now both of them are married with one or more children and I can no longer truly relate to them, and we're growing apart.
My family is a long story that I won't go into, but they're not particularly supportive for various reasons.
I am 30 years old and I'm a pizza delivery guy. I'm going to school to become an accountant, but right now I have almost no money and can't afford to do social things most of the time. I feel like I don't deserve to be with a confident woman who has herself put together (and all of my exes have serious issues, which suggests to me that this is ingrained in my head somehow).
I guess that's all. If you've read this far, thank you.
I feel inadequate lately. The last three women I dated have all been on my mind, and not in a good way. The first one broke up with me two years ago because, she said, she didn't see herself ever getting married. She then severed all contact. Last month, I found out that she's married now.
The second one broke up with me because she wanted to be polyamorous and I didn't. We still keep in touch because of a business arrangement, and I am constantly reminded that she is currently seeing three people, one of whom is a guy who was trying to get together with her while we were still dating.
The most recent one broke up with me just over a month ago, because she felt like she wasn't 100% in it and didn't want to string me along when she wasn't ready. She wants to continue being friends, and part of me does too, but another part isn't ready. I'm also scared that hanging out with her will make me hold out hope that we'll get back together.
Last week, I was on a first date with a girl. Things seemed to be going well, until halfway through, when she told me she was sorry but she couldn't go through with it; she was still hung up on someone else and asked me to go. I did, of course, and I'm not especially attached to this girl, but it's just another rejection in a long line.
I feel like something in my head has changed in the past six months, to where I am suddenly expecting to be disappointed and/or rejected by people, and I know it's not good. I don't feel like I have anyone I can really connect with or relate to. I have two best friends since elementary school, but now both of them are married with one or more children and I can no longer truly relate to them, and we're growing apart.
My family is a long story that I won't go into, but they're not particularly supportive for various reasons.
I am 30 years old and I'm a pizza delivery guy. I'm going to school to become an accountant, but right now I have almost no money and can't afford to do social things most of the time. I feel like I don't deserve to be with a confident woman who has herself put together (and all of my exes have serious issues, which suggests to me that this is ingrained in my head somehow).
I guess that's all. If you've read this far, thank you.
-Stranger-
Junior Member
Great thread here OP, thanks for making it.
I've lately i've been suffering from anxiety, or more precisely ''health'' anxiety.
Where i perceive there is something wrong with my health and i have phobia's of the human organs (particularly the heart) and i think about death far to often than what is normal.
This anxiety sometimes makes me feel very alone and depressed. I have had quite a few panic attacks over the last few months. Thankfully they aren't as often anymore and I'm learning how to cope, relax & sleep again. The anxiety always in the back of my mind however which sucks...
In the past i've had OCD about things like checking that doors are locked or making sure my Xbox 360 & PS3 are perfectly symmetrical on the shelf.
Sorry to ramble on, just wanted to share my experiences.
I've lately i've been suffering from anxiety, or more precisely ''health'' anxiety.
Where i perceive there is something wrong with my health and i have phobia's of the human organs (particularly the heart) and i think about death far to often than what is normal.
This anxiety sometimes makes me feel very alone and depressed. I have had quite a few panic attacks over the last few months. Thankfully they aren't as often anymore and I'm learning how to cope, relax & sleep again. The anxiety always in the back of my mind however which sucks...
In the past i've had OCD about things like checking that doors are locked or making sure my Xbox 360 & PS3 are perfectly symmetrical on the shelf.
Sorry to ramble on, just wanted to share my experiences.
Reading the Physician-Age thread here on GAF and feeling like shit as I realise I'll never make it as far as these people, and being a doctor is honestly the only thing I see myself doing. Realising you're not capable enough to accomplish your dream when life's already kicked your ass down into the dirt feels terrible. Why am I unable to do things that will be good for me? I sometimes feel like I subconsciously go out of my way to make myself feel like shit.
It's that time again. My dad, a far better photographer than me, sent along his photos from our Maine trip. Let me continue to bore you with them!
Hey, it's our boat! She's a proud little skiff (a type of flat-bottomed work boat). If that were a 99 hp motor, it would be splinters floating on the bay. Years ago, they passed a law in Maine that you need a license to operate a motor 10 hp or over. Hence the popularity of the, I'm not joking, 9.9 hp outboard engine.
This boat has no name, oddly enough.
Sunset on the 4th of July.
We engaged in a lengthy battle for fireworks supremacy with the losers on the mainland (who we are also fond of yelling at after a few drinks). I think they soundly lost when, in contravention of maritime law, they shot off a distress flare for funsies. You're really not supposed to do that.
The writing desk, in our cottage since before anyone can even remember, where I spent many happy hours composing letters to my depression-GAF buddies.
You can't see it, but behind that rocking chair is a, true story, actual pirate sword (what's left of it, anyway) that my archaeologist dad hooked his toe through while walking in the mud flats at low tide.
Yes, my dad being an archaeologist is far and away the coolest thing about me.
Top 3 mini-Bagels Maine experiences:
1) sitting on (and only sitting on. He's not driving the lawn tractor) the lawn tractor and atv.
2) visiting the pumphouse (the small building in the background where the pump for our artesian well is)
3) throwing rocks into the ocean
The gas lights don't give off a ton of light, but there's something perfect about reading by them on a rainy day. This is my aunt's place.
A great heron perches on Clam Rock, where the seals gather.
A man on a mission.
Me at my summer job, as a lobsterman. Okay, that might not be me, but that is a traditional Maine lobster boat.
Hey, it's our boat! She's a proud little skiff (a type of flat-bottomed work boat). If that were a 99 hp motor, it would be splinters floating on the bay. Years ago, they passed a law in Maine that you need a license to operate a motor 10 hp or over. Hence the popularity of the, I'm not joking, 9.9 hp outboard engine.
This boat has no name, oddly enough.
Sunset on the 4th of July.
We engaged in a lengthy battle for fireworks supremacy with the losers on the mainland (who we are also fond of yelling at after a few drinks). I think they soundly lost when, in contravention of maritime law, they shot off a distress flare for funsies. You're really not supposed to do that.
The writing desk, in our cottage since before anyone can even remember, where I spent many happy hours composing letters to my depression-GAF buddies.
You can't see it, but behind that rocking chair is a, true story, actual pirate sword (what's left of it, anyway) that my archaeologist dad hooked his toe through while walking in the mud flats at low tide.
Yes, my dad being an archaeologist is far and away the coolest thing about me.
![DivHvun.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/DivHvun.jpg"]http://i.imgur.com/DivHvun.jpg)
Top 3 mini-Bagels Maine experiences:
1) sitting on (and only sitting on. He's not driving the lawn tractor) the lawn tractor and atv.
2) visiting the pumphouse (the small building in the background where the pump for our artesian well is)
3) throwing rocks into the ocean
The gas lights don't give off a ton of light, but there's something perfect about reading by them on a rainy day. This is my aunt's place.
A great heron perches on Clam Rock, where the seals gather.
A man on a mission.
Me at my summer job, as a lobsterman. Okay, that might not be me, but that is a traditional Maine lobster boat.
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
I'm feeling really down at the moment.
It's because of something that's awkward to talk about, and probably NeoGAF is a bad place to do it.
*sigh*
It's because of something that's awkward to talk about, and probably NeoGAF is a bad place to do it.
*sigh*
Try popping in DepGAF IRC? Some of our European buddies are in there and available at this time. If not, PM me or anyone from the OP contact list maybe?
I understand if it's an awkward issue, it might be hard to talk about in the open, but there are lots of other options. :3
Same here. Never made a move, and the way things are going, never will.
This would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. If I weren't so pathetic. Oh well, it is what it is...
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
Without going into too much detail.
I care about things too much.
One of the unfortunate side effects of OCD is that I get *really* into things when I’m into them. I also get really upset about stuff. And over-analyse it too much.
There’s this hobby I’ve really wanted to do since I was a kid. It’s regulated to the point of being practically illegal in the UK (where I live). And because of the depth to which I get into things and because of my fear of the paperwork involved I get stuck in this cycle where I resent where I live and the people around me for being in favour (generally) of this regulation. I resent my parents for moving here when I was a baby. I resent myself for being too weak and stuck here for family reasons to do anything about it. I even resent my partner a bit for being unwilling to move, and I hate myself most of all for this last item.
A few years ago, my sister moved to the US where this thing is perfectly normal, and she spends lots of time doing it. And I’m jealous. And I hate myself for being jealous and… well all the things above.
A lot of the time I’m fine. Then for a period of a couple of months my laser-like focus is focused on this one subject and I get really worked up and angry and upset and frustrated and demoralised.
I. Just. Need. To. Focus. On. Something. Else.
I care about things too much.
One of the unfortunate side effects of OCD is that I get *really* into things when I’m into them. I also get really upset about stuff. And over-analyse it too much.
There’s this hobby I’ve really wanted to do since I was a kid. It’s regulated to the point of being practically illegal in the UK (where I live). And because of the depth to which I get into things and because of my fear of the paperwork involved I get stuck in this cycle where I resent where I live and the people around me for being in favour (generally) of this regulation. I resent my parents for moving here when I was a baby. I resent myself for being too weak and stuck here for family reasons to do anything about it. I even resent my partner a bit for being unwilling to move, and I hate myself most of all for this last item.
A few years ago, my sister moved to the US where this thing is perfectly normal, and she spends lots of time doing it. And I’m jealous. And I hate myself for being jealous and… well all the things above.
A lot of the time I’m fine. Then for a period of a couple of months my laser-like focus is focused on this one subject and I get really worked up and angry and upset and frustrated and demoralised.
I. Just. Need. To. Focus. On. Something. Else.
Stay safe, Fiction!
Just as your own feelings change frequently and in probably unexpected ways, so too do the feelings of the people you love. I realise it's no consolation, but at the time she was in a relationship with you, she may genuinely have never felt like she would get married, but circumstances for her obviously changed and she wanted to go a different route. Don't give up. You'll find the right person for you.
You're still a young guy with a heck of a long life left to live, and you have enough motivation to seek a major career change, and that's awesome. As of now, you might not have the money you want to, but it doesn't mean it will always be like that - and the same goes for the relationships you've had in the past. By going to school, you're choosing to try and improve your life in a meaningful way, which you should be really proud of!
I know that when I feel rejected by others (and that is.. constantly. Like every day, constantly.) I tend to hide away from them, but I know it's a pretty unhealthy habit. If you have these friends that you care about and you want to continue being friends with, talk to them and let them know what's up. Talk, talk, talk. No-one will read your mind for you. Sure, you may not feel like you can relate to them in the same way you used to, but there is always common ground amongst friends.
That's good to hear that you're learning how to cope with some of those anxieties. Would you mind sharing your experience of how you've attempted to cope? I'm sure there are people here who would appreciate it.
Like you, I have anxieties over my heart specifically. I don't look after it well in terms of exercise, but ostensibly I'm a young, well eating, fairly healthy guy. But it doesn't stop me from being anxious over having an attack. Just typing this makes me feel weird.
I'm in the UK as well, feel free to drop me a PM if you need to clear your head about it.
I resent being here too. I'd give a lot to be able to up and leave this country ASAP.
Feeling like a dork and idiot. why do i have to like guys
What's wrong with liking people? :3
Men suck. End of story.
Not all men. ;w;
Collete
Member
A good portion, yes. Same could also be said about girls. Not all of them are nice and caring, either. So eh. Both genders kind of suck.
Collete
Member
Yup, yup it is.
EverythingShiny
Member
Anti-anxiety medication GAF - I could use some uplifting stories about how going on this medication has helped you.
I have a long history of being on medication; I still take Xanax occasionally when I fly, and most recently I was on Klonopin (clonazepam) for about 3 years. The withdrawal was horrible. That all ended about 2 years ago (and I had about 10+ years worth of messing with antidepressants as well.) I haven't been on meds (except stuff to help me sleep) or seen a psychiatrist since then.
Now, I'm seeing a nurse practitioner at a sleep clinic for my insomnia. I had been taking Trazodone and Ambien, but she's having me stop taking the Trazodone because she thinks it just makes me terribly drowsy the next day. I haven't been able to sleep since she stopped it, even with taking Ambien or Lunesta. I'm trying melatonin tonight but I don't have high hopes.
As a result, she wants me to come in to discuss being put on another benzodiazepene again to treat my underlying anxiety. I've been beating around the bush that it's my anxiety that's preventing me from sleeping because I really didn't want to go back on medicine, knowing what the withdrawal is like. I've tried meditation and mindfulness therapy, but neither have really worked for me.
I don't know what to do. I know I need to sleep, and I know that my anxiety is getting pretty out of control, but I'm nervous about going back on anti-anxiety meds. Therapy is a little tricky as my health insurance royally sucks and there aren't many therapists near me who actually take my health insurance.
I have a long history of being on medication; I still take Xanax occasionally when I fly, and most recently I was on Klonopin (clonazepam) for about 3 years. The withdrawal was horrible. That all ended about 2 years ago (and I had about 10+ years worth of messing with antidepressants as well.) I haven't been on meds (except stuff to help me sleep) or seen a psychiatrist since then.
Now, I'm seeing a nurse practitioner at a sleep clinic for my insomnia. I had been taking Trazodone and Ambien, but she's having me stop taking the Trazodone because she thinks it just makes me terribly drowsy the next day. I haven't been able to sleep since she stopped it, even with taking Ambien or Lunesta. I'm trying melatonin tonight but I don't have high hopes.
As a result, she wants me to come in to discuss being put on another benzodiazepene again to treat my underlying anxiety. I've been beating around the bush that it's my anxiety that's preventing me from sleeping because I really didn't want to go back on medicine, knowing what the withdrawal is like. I've tried meditation and mindfulness therapy, but neither have really worked for me.
I don't know what to do. I know I need to sleep, and I know that my anxiety is getting pretty out of control, but I'm nervous about going back on anti-anxiety meds. Therapy is a little tricky as my health insurance royally sucks and there aren't many therapists near me who actually take my health insurance.
Bagel-grams received in the Netherlands and...Canada. I'm not sure why it takes so damn long to get a letter to Canada, but there you go.
I have another round of stuff to send out, but I got sick, and now I'm just being lazy. It'll all go out soon!
Write me, get written to..send me a PM if you want to be penpals!
Glad you're being smart about it - benzos are addictive both because they make you feel good and because you can become totally dependent on them for sleep. It pays to be cautious, as by all accounts the withdrawal can give heroin a run for its money.
They key points in making a drug addictive are (to simplify), aside from what receptors they hit and how potent they are, a) how fast they act (which is why people will break up their prescription painkillers and shoot or snort them) and b) how long acting they are. Short acting drugs are the worst. Xanax has a great/terrible reputation as a benzo because it acts very quickly and has a very short half-life. So you take it and you feel better, but you need another one right away. It's widely believed to be the most addictive benzo.
Klonopin and Ativan are a little better. The common benzos all have the same sorts of issues. There are super long-acting drugs, but then you run into the issue you have with trazadone - longer-acting drugs can leave you hung over the next day.
You might think about Temazepam, US brand name Restoril. As the name suggests, it's preferred for the treatment of insomnia. It's an intermediate-acting benzo, like Klonopin and Ativan, but it edges them out by acting a little longer. Each drug hits the classic benzos effects differently. So Xanax seems to do most for anxiety, whereas Restoril is better at the sleep-promoting qualities.
Restoril abuse is rare in the US, but it honestly isn't prescribed much. It's way worse in the UK. Interestingly, I seem to recall that Temazepam abuse is a big deal in prison, specifically BECAUSE you can't get anything more fun and addictive, like Xanax, when you're a prisoner.
[forgot to add this part]
Valium (diazepam) is nice because it is a long-acting benzo. Again, you may risk feeling a little hung-over the next day if taken for sleep, but it's the kind of thing you could possibly take a bit earlier in the evening to bring the anxiety down and then, by bedtime, it should still help you sleep. Valium has a reputation for having more muscle-relaxant properties, which may contribute to its abuse potential.
Just tread carefully. You can make things a bit better by choosing the right drug, but all benzos are going to be potentially addictive. There's variability, too, person to person, and depending on what other meds you take. My best buddy started with Klonopin and was moved to Xanax. She gets genuinely euphoric from the Xanax, which is a bit scary. She'll take it for her crazy anxiety, but then she'll just be high as fuck for the next hour. I did a short course of Xanax and I was like, "BUCKLE UP! OH SHIT, HERE WE GO!" and then fuck-all happened. Valium is the one that made me feel the best, but that's largely because my back often bothers me and it relaxed it right up. Klonopin is the worst for making me tell people I love them, Ativan is kind of in the middle, and Restoril did very little for me. YMMV. As I posted before, my ability to take these drugs is decidedly limited, as anything beyond a tiny dose gives me temporary amnesia, which scares the shit out of me. At least it dissuades me from taking them more, I guess.
For anxiety, have you talked about Buspirone (Buspar) with your doc? It's a non-benzo anxiolytic. It's more like an SSRI - it won't necessarily have a huge effect immediately, but over time, it can help tamp down anxiety. Addiction isn't really a concern (although I have seen reports of abuse - then again, people abuse basically anything you can think of).
The goal is always to use the drugs as needed to break a cycle of anxiety so you can bring in CBT techniques and things. You don't want to entirely manage your anxiety with drugs - that's where the dependence sets in, but the drugs can help get you into a mindset where you can think more clearly about things you can do in your life to reduce your anxiety. Still, it's basically impossible to think yourself out of a panic attack, which is where the benzos are so helpful.
PM me if you want to talk more! I like this stuff way too much.
I have another round of stuff to send out, but I got sick, and now I'm just being lazy. It'll all go out soon!
Write me, get written to..send me a PM if you want to be penpals!
Glad you're being smart about it - benzos are addictive both because they make you feel good and because you can become totally dependent on them for sleep. It pays to be cautious, as by all accounts the withdrawal can give heroin a run for its money.
They key points in making a drug addictive are (to simplify), aside from what receptors they hit and how potent they are, a) how fast they act (which is why people will break up their prescription painkillers and shoot or snort them) and b) how long acting they are. Short acting drugs are the worst. Xanax has a great/terrible reputation as a benzo because it acts very quickly and has a very short half-life. So you take it and you feel better, but you need another one right away. It's widely believed to be the most addictive benzo.
Klonopin and Ativan are a little better. The common benzos all have the same sorts of issues. There are super long-acting drugs, but then you run into the issue you have with trazadone - longer-acting drugs can leave you hung over the next day.
You might think about Temazepam, US brand name Restoril. As the name suggests, it's preferred for the treatment of insomnia. It's an intermediate-acting benzo, like Klonopin and Ativan, but it edges them out by acting a little longer. Each drug hits the classic benzos effects differently. So Xanax seems to do most for anxiety, whereas Restoril is better at the sleep-promoting qualities.
Restoril abuse is rare in the US, but it honestly isn't prescribed much. It's way worse in the UK. Interestingly, I seem to recall that Temazepam abuse is a big deal in prison, specifically BECAUSE you can't get anything more fun and addictive, like Xanax, when you're a prisoner.
[forgot to add this part]
Valium (diazepam) is nice because it is a long-acting benzo. Again, you may risk feeling a little hung-over the next day if taken for sleep, but it's the kind of thing you could possibly take a bit earlier in the evening to bring the anxiety down and then, by bedtime, it should still help you sleep. Valium has a reputation for having more muscle-relaxant properties, which may contribute to its abuse potential.
Just tread carefully. You can make things a bit better by choosing the right drug, but all benzos are going to be potentially addictive. There's variability, too, person to person, and depending on what other meds you take. My best buddy started with Klonopin and was moved to Xanax. She gets genuinely euphoric from the Xanax, which is a bit scary. She'll take it for her crazy anxiety, but then she'll just be high as fuck for the next hour. I did a short course of Xanax and I was like, "BUCKLE UP! OH SHIT, HERE WE GO!" and then fuck-all happened. Valium is the one that made me feel the best, but that's largely because my back often bothers me and it relaxed it right up. Klonopin is the worst for making me tell people I love them, Ativan is kind of in the middle, and Restoril did very little for me. YMMV. As I posted before, my ability to take these drugs is decidedly limited, as anything beyond a tiny dose gives me temporary amnesia, which scares the shit out of me. At least it dissuades me from taking them more, I guess.
For anxiety, have you talked about Buspirone (Buspar) with your doc? It's a non-benzo anxiolytic. It's more like an SSRI - it won't necessarily have a huge effect immediately, but over time, it can help tamp down anxiety. Addiction isn't really a concern (although I have seen reports of abuse - then again, people abuse basically anything you can think of).
The goal is always to use the drugs as needed to break a cycle of anxiety so you can bring in CBT techniques and things. You don't want to entirely manage your anxiety with drugs - that's where the dependence sets in, but the drugs can help get you into a mindset where you can think more clearly about things you can do in your life to reduce your anxiety. Still, it's basically impossible to think yourself out of a panic attack, which is where the benzos are so helpful.
PM me if you want to talk more! I like this stuff way too much.
I've been getting Temazepan since wednesday (I'll write a post on the how/why tomorrow, getting pretty tired at the moment) and they are pretty god damn awesome for sleep. Haven't slept this well in months though I am kind of worried of the addictiveness of the stuff. As you say, going to have to be careful with it.
Agent Cooper
Member
I'm in Texas, and I'm dreading when my friend and mom head home and leave me here.
Sigh.
Sigh.
User 100115
Banned
I wish I lived in New Mexico still, I'd try to make a trip to see you. Though, Texas is a huge state and depending on where you were...lol
Are you in Texas for school? Going by how you are on here, I'm sure you'll be able to meet people in your classes and make friends. :3
In the gay world if you don't look good no one wants you. I'm that guy. ugh.
I wish I lived in New Mexico still, I'd try to make a trip to see you. Though, Texas is a huge state and depending on where you were...lol
Is this before or after your road trip to Seattle?
I know plenty of unattractive gay men that are in relationships or get laid on a regular basis. Yes, your looks will be a barrier for getting with some men but not for all of them. It also depends on the environment you're in. I've seen you talk about wanting to move before. How's that going?
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I have to disagree with this statement and here's why.
I'm ugly as sin. I mean, I literally repulse women but I've been hit on by gay guys a few times before. Seriously, if I were gay I'd probably be in a relationship or at least have some semblance of a love life. I'd be ecstatic if I could attract women they way I do gay men.
User 100115
Banned
Is this before or after your road trip to Seattle?
I am making you fajitas someday and you will LOVE THEM.
Bring it!
Some days i am excited and happy i am making the choice to move to Seattle and other times i am near suicidal trying to figure out how i am going to do it. My mind and body hates change, but i know i need it.
no guy has ever hit on me ever.
Well this thread has been predictable.
Sometimes I wish I lived in America where it would be easier to get my hands on a gun. Had a dream that I had one, and instead of becoming some crazed-killer or murderous vigilante, I just put it to my head instead. Don't remember the rest. My life is so dull and boring, yet I always feel so run down and tired. Permanent rest doesn't sound too bad right now.
That's also true in the straight world. If I'm ever in a group of guys, I'm the one to not get told they're cute or good looking or whatever. I wish it were possible to just stop caring and be able to live without needing affection, or whatever it is we seek.
This happens to me a lot, as well. I'll often forget if I took my anti-depressant sometimes even 20 minutes after. Ask me to recall anything from Monday, and I wouldn't be able to tell you anything other than "I woke up, and went to sleep at some point".
That's also true in the straight world. If I'm ever in a group of guys, I'm the one to not get told they're cute or good looking or whatever. I wish it were possible to just stop caring and be able to live without needing affection, or whatever it is we seek.
This happens to me a lot, as well. I'll often forget if I took my anti-depressant sometimes even 20 minutes after. Ask me to recall anything from Monday, and I wouldn't be able to tell you anything other than "I woke up, and went to sleep at some point".
Permanent rest is a nice idea until you realize you dont have any perception of what rest is when you're dead, cause you're dead. Ive wanted to kill myself a bunch but i imagine the weird distracted drunken state im in now must be better than nothingness, which you cant comprehend. We should all become alcoholics, is pretty awesome.
I'd rather not have to worry about whether or not I can comprehend something or not. Nothingness would be nice. And I can't drink. My prozac and clonazepam don't play nicely with alcohol.
mixing chemicals is what makes life worth living is what my invisible friend says
Done it before. Always ends up with me puking, disoriented, and passing in and out of consciousness for hours, all while wishing I were dead. :/
Hey folks, hope you guys Friday's are going okay. Just relaxing myself, not a bad day today actually, uploaded a few vids to youtube, because I actually felt like making them, so that was fun I guess. Got my copy of SMTIV, will I actually feel like playing it tonight? Meh, who knows.
- Status