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[Count Dookkake]

She turns to me. I shart.

 

[Shoyz]

The mans relief upon waking alive after the life threatening brain surgery was the most powerful feeling he ever had. At least until it was replaced by the terrifying realisation that no one else would ever know.

Spoiler

buried alive?

I suppose you could do an abridged version of one of my favorite scary stories:
The babysitter, feeling uneasy, called their father to ask if she could move the clown statue. He responds, "we don't have a clown statue".

 

[catmincer]

She fought her assailant off, he lay dead at her feet. Crying with relief she didn't hear the swish of the knife behind her.

 

[PaperFlame]

Did you know some victims that have been tortured would retreat into a fantasy world and could not wake up.
The only way that they realized they need to wake up is to hear the words wake up said repeatedly to them.



This was from a creepypasta, I just made it shorter.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

Seeing the chimpanzee, I made a run for my camera. They made a run for my scrotum.

 

[cchum]

I like the six word story exercise, actually.

My shot:


She said no. It mattered not.

"Had to pee. Missed the toilet"

 

[Buttonbasher]

He couldn't remember how long it had been since the lights went out.

It was lonely without stars.

This is probably my favorite.

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

Spoiler

buried alive?

I suppose you could do an abridged version of one of my favorite scary stories:
The babysitter, feeling uneasy, called their father to ask if she could move the clown statue. He responds, "we don't have a clown statue".

Thats the kind of thing I was going for, yeah

 

[WrenchNinja]

What felt like hours running in pitch black darkness, he could finally see light and hear sound at the end of the tunnel.

"Next stop, Union Station."

 

[Hoo-doo]

Taking a bath with your mother.

 

[Necromanti]

“Daddy, I had the same nightmare again,” whimpered the little boy.

“There, there. Let’s go take your sleeping medicine,” soothed the father, his finger hungrily tracing a line down the boy’s back.

 

[Monocle]

She turns to me. I shart.

"Finally!" she says. "I'm famished."

Spoiler

Too far?

 

[Mariolee]

99% turn around when they read the phrase, "Don't turn around." The ones that don't regret the decision.

Dang, this one got me.

 

[Richie]

Fantastic exercise. I'll have to give it some thought. I remember a popular one told to me by a friend years ago:

"Hey, sweetie, doesn't it make you afraid to walk by yourself at night?"
"When I was alive, yes."

 

[Dmax3901]

He sits down with a grunt and after a while turns to his right. With a whimper, he realises the public restroom has no toilet paper.

He tapped his nails against the door until they took his fingers. He scraped his teeth against the door until they brought him scraps.

My favourite so far.

 

[unknownhero]

A mother goes to the baby's crib as she is gathering her family for a turkey dinner. There was a turkey in the crib.

 

[Replicant]

"What kind of series do you like?", she asked the guy.
"My Little Pony" was his answer.

 

[Link Man]

He lay down in his bed, but couldn't wake. The dream was too strong, the dreamer deluded.

 

[Culebra 64]

The glass encased pieces of me.

Many footsteps towards an endless horizon.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

Many footsteps towards an endless horizon.

A cockpit set ablaze in orbit.

 

[Persona86]

PS4 has 4.5gb ram.

 

[daveo42]

John booted his PC when he came from work.

Master boot record not found.

Edit:

The moon looked positively beautiful illuminating such a listless night. It almost makes you forget that the sun burned out ages ago.

 

[Culebra 64]

A cockpit set ablaze in orbit.

Baby's first memory was her mother's last.

 

[Dynamite Ringo Matsuri]

The teacher was pregnant once again. The child was both her son and her grandson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH0_XfxnXWI

*Shudder*

 

[Persona86]

You: "Xbox on"
Xbox: "No"

 

[silenttwn]

Welcome and good morning. Yes, it was all but a dream.

 

[Jintor]

An empty house. They're gone, they're gone, they're gone.

 

[FZZ]

The man got into a taxi around 12am, he arrived in front of his house at 2am.

As the taxi leaves he realizes, he never told the taxi driver where he lived.

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

He had learned first hand that this wasn't for him. He spluttered "Please get me a napkin" through his fluid filled mouth.

 

[Boom Boom Pow]

The little boy walked into his father's room, and asked, "Daddy, who were you talking to?", to which the Dad replied, "Why your mother of course."

The little boy looked perplexed, and said, "But Mommy died a few years ago," to which the Dad turned around and gave a half smile, "I know."

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

Baby's first memory was her mother's last.

Martian crustaceans sucked her bone marrow.

 

[GRW810]

Read the OP and was looking forward to some clever submissions. Then I remembered I was on GAF and just checked out the Reddit link instead.

 

[warthog]

Is this the thread where all the 15 yrs old come to play? Could have been a decent thread. And most of these jokes are terrible.

 

[thecouncil]

Lighting cast her shadow on the wall. Thunder crashed as it opened it's eyes.

 

[User 100115]

She drew a shuddering breath, exhaling a cloud of condensation that nearly glowed in the dim light. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck.

 

[Lion Heart]

E3 approaches, I log onto GAF.

Banned.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

The luminescent bacteria in the water sparked with life from the kinetic energy of the spelunker jumping onto the grotto's floor. The movement of subterranean life would cast such trails, and a enormous pool of light was making its way behind him.

 

[Jintor]

Twenty thousand died in the first five seconds alone. They were lucky.

 

[FZZ]

Also kind of off-topic, but I don't know where else to post.

Have you guys heard of the Pronunciation Book YouTube channel?

Pretty much for like three years this guy was pronouncing words then all of a sudden he started doing countdown videos that count down to September 24, 2013. The videos are warning people and if you watch them make very little sense. The weird part is that the same time this guy started doing countdown videos a .tor site went up that counts down to the same day and has a picture of Mathieu Orfila or was it Paracelsus I don't know I've never been on the site, but I remember it being some sort of "father of modern toxicology," anyways the site has a bunch of other text that makes no sense. I was just wondering if any of you have heard about this, its really creepy.

Guys YouTube channel btw http://www.youtube.com/user/pronunciationbook

 

[BowieZ]

Soon.

You'll be dead forever.

 

[User 100115]

Also kind of off-topic, but I don't know where else to post.

Have you guys heard of the Pronunciation Book YouTube channel?

Pretty much for like three years this guy was pronouncing words then all of a sudden he started doing countdown videos that count down to September 24, 2013. The videos are warning people and if you watch them make very little sense. The weird part is that the same time this guy started doing countdown videos a .tor site went up that counts down to the same day and has a picture of Mathieu Orfila or was it Paracelsus I don't know I've never been on the site, but I remember it being some sort of "father of modern toxicology," anyways the site has a bunch of other text that makes no sense. I was just wondering if any of you have heard about this, its really creepy.

Guys YouTube channel btw http://www.youtube.com/user/pronunciationbook

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=632456

 

[L00P]

Did my business. There's no toilet paper

 

[NinjaBoiX]

These stories seem to entirely rely on the reader filling in the gaps.
With mixed results.

The best horror often materialises when filling in the gaps.

Did you know some victims that have been tortured would retreat into a fantasy world and could not wake up.
The only way that they realized they need to wake up is to hear the words wake up repeatedly to them.



This was from a creepypasta, I just made it shorter.

This doesn't even make sense.

 

[Derwind]

In my attic I began cleaning out my items when I gazed upon a painting of an art museum. The painting illustrated a tour guide pointedly declaring "Modern man trapped in the attic!".

Gaf, did I do it right?

 

[cchum]

E3 approaches, I log onto GAF.

Banned.

Hahaha nicely done.

 

[jaxword]

This doesn't even make sense.

He forgot a word.

"to hear the words wake up repeatedly to them."

should be

"to hear the words wake up said repeatedly to them."

 

[NinjaBoiX]

He forgot a word.

"to hear the words wake up repeatedly to them."

should be

"to hear the words wake up said repeatedly to them."

I still don't get it. I mean yeah, it was grammatically incorrect, but that wasn't my issue.

I just don't get the story. :/

 

[maomaoIYP]

John awoke in the middle of the night to find two ghostly pairs of legs hanging down from the bunk bed above.




He shut his eyes desperately hoping to fall asleep once more until he heard a child's voice: "Mommy, I think the one below is awake."

 

[Anfony O]

A surgeon is stuck all alone in an Antarctic base with all his surgical equipment. He develops appendicitis

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonid_Rogozov

 

[User 100115]

I still don't get it. I mean yeah, it was grammatically incorrect, but that wasn't my issue.

I just don't get the story. :/

Because the words 'wake up' are said three times during the story, it's supposed to imply you are in that state. I believe.