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62% of people pretend to have read classic novels

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Why would you lie about having read some ridiculous fantasy book like LOTR? Reading about elves and orcs is supposed to make you seem smarter? Jesus.
 
I've lied about reading books before, but only when someone was recommending it to me and I didn't want to dismiss them, but also knew I wasn't going to read it. Thus "oh, yeah, I read that a while back."

1984 by George Orwell – Read it.
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy – Not yet. Probably not ever.
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens – Read it.
Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger – Read it.
A Passage to India by E M Forster – Never heard of it.
Lord of the Rings by J R R Tolkein – Read it. And some of his other works.
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee – Read it.
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – Nope.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen – Never.
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë – Never.


You've read the same ones I have, with the exception of Crime and Punishment.

I highly recommend it. To me it is the best use of language ever printed to sequential pages.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
You've read the same ones I have, with the exception of Crime and Punishment.

I highly recommend it. To me it is the best use of language ever printed to sequential pages.

Yeah like I said earlier I read it recently and really liked it. I don't know if I've ever read a piece of literature where the author puts you in the head of the protagonist so well.
 

ixix

Exists in a perpetual state of Quantum Crotch Uncertainty.
I'll confess to being part of the 62%. I wrote a critique of Moby-Dick in college after reading the first chapter and skimming the rest of the book. A while later I got into a bit of an argument with a cousin of mine about whether or not it was any good. I never admitted that I never actually read it.
 

ymoc

Member
Shits be boring B

Worst first reply ever?

I'd just quickly and HIGHLY recommend The Red and the Black by Stendhal.
This man has seriously one of the best writing styles you'll ever find.
Truly a masterpiece.
Though it ends kinda abruptly, at least is seems so to me. During the second half of the book there are so many indications of a deeper plot and happenings, but then it all comes to a suddend end. I just can't shake the feeling there was a lot more the author wanted to write about, but somehow decided to finish the book with a quick wrap. Or maybe it's just me, I dunno...
 

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I had a former friend (emphasis on former) who tried to impress a girl by quoting lines from books and poetry. The guy is a fucking violent drunk, pill popping, constantly angry douchebag who wouldn't understand half of what he was telling her.

As far as me, I haven't read any one of those books listed nor what I lie about doing so to impress someone. The most classics I read were short Edgar Allen Poe stories back in high school.

Old issues of Electronic Gaming back in the 80's and Game Informer doesn't count, do they?
 
Worst first reply ever?

I'd just quickly and HIGHLY recommend The Red and the Black by Stendhal.
This man has seriously one of the best writing styles you'll ever find.
Truly a masterpiece.
Though it ends kinda abruptly, at least is seems so to me. During the second half of the book there are so many indications of a deeper plot and happenings, but then it all comes to a suddend end. I just can't shake the feeling there was a lot more the author wanted to write about, but somehow decided to finish the book with a quick wrap. Or maybe it's just me, I dunno...

Weird, I just bought The Red and The Black yesterday. I had never heard of it before, but Amazon recommended it because I had read Lost Illusions by Balzac, and since it was only a dollar I said 'what the hell?".
 

marrec

Banned
Great Expectations is an absolute chore, only book I've ever consciously decided to give up on.

Also, the Lord of the Rings is boring as hell too. Crime and Punishment ain't no bore though.
 

bcl0328

Member
confession time: i've read one book for pleasure in my entire life and that was goosebumps in like the 5th grade.
 

dejay

Banned
I read LOTR three or four times. I've also read 1984 and To Kill a Mockingbird. I thought all were good.

I don't ready books any more though - I think the internet killed that for me.
 
Weird, I just bought The Red and The Black yesterday. I had never heard of it before, but Amazon recommended it because I had read Lost Illusions by Balzac, and since it was only a dollar I said 'what the hell?".
Speaking of which, how was Lost Illusions? That's the Balzac I want to start on. No Proust yet.
 

ymoc

Member
Weird, I just bought The Red and The Black yesterday. I had never heard of it before, but Amazon recommended it because I had read Lost Illusions by Balzac, and since it was only a dollar I said 'what the hell?".

: ) It can't be a coincidence! You were meant to read this book hahaha.
Just one warning....how should I put it...Don't let the (over)stretched "romantic" parts of the book distract you (especially in the first part of the book). It seriously picks up after that.
 
These are the most common books I lie about having read:

1. The Master and Margarita
2. Under the Volcano
3. Lolita
4. Atlas Shrugged
5. Finnegans Wake

I hope The Master and Margarita is funny, because I usually claim that it was. Lolita and Atlas Shrugged I feel like I know enough about to give a decent impression that I've actually read them.
 
I actually had Master and Margarita for a while, but I sold it to pay for a Borges collection. Manuscripts don't burn, they just get turned into lackluster film adaptations.
 

someday

Banned
I had read The Count of Monte Cristo in 2005, and Cyan's book club for that got me to reread it. I had realized those things about my reading habits around the same time, so I made an informal resolution with myself that I was going to try to keep reading on a regular basis. I'm on my third year now and I think it's going pretty well for me. I haven't really made it a point to only reading great works of literary fiction and instead have jumped around between serious literature, genre fiction (though there's obviously some overlap here), epic poetry, poetry collections, nonfiction books about singing, race, sex, gender, reading education / pedagogy, young adult / children's novels, biographies, comics and manga, and some other stuff I'm not thinking of offhand.
Yeah, during this time I was also a member of the Doubleday book clubs and was spending hundreds on contemporary books as well. Mostly, a lot of smut, Patricia Cromwell, and Dean Koontz. I needed something light to read too! Of course, I had a job that I only worked 8 hours Saturday and Sunday evenings and was off the rest of the week. I had a lot of free time.
 
I read The Hobbit and tried to get through LOTR but that shit was just unbearable after having seen the film. Gave up on it around the time they finally got out of the Shire.

Never touched any of the other books on the list. Not necessarily "proud" about it...I just don't have the willpower to get through those types of books.

My highschool English experience was kinda weird. Most of the kids in my highschool read The Great Gatsby, Animal Farm, and 1984 (Or, at least 2 of those three books), depending on who they had as a teacher. I ended up with some of the newer teachers who didn't seem to follow the state guidelines, and I ended up reading Ethan Frome and....Mind of My Mind by Octavia E. Butler. Ethan Frome is probably the type of book that turns people off from these types of books...cot damn did that feel pointless. Mind of My Mind is a science fiction book, by a black female author in the 70's...it was awesome fun and I ended up finding more of the authors work and reading it later. That was a funny class, the teacher gave everyone a separate book to read and at the end of the semester we had to write a report on it and talk about it in class. Unorthadox, but actually kind of cool as she gave everyone a book that she felt they could relate to in some fashion.

I took community college courses my senior year in highschool, and we did read Hamlet...it was actually a good experience, because we read it in class and the professor would explain every single detail after we were finished reading for the day. Still, would have hated it on my own.

I think that, when looking at my entire schooling experience, the author I ended up reading the most was Edgar Allen Poe. I'm guessing that this is true for many American. I like him, interesting life, and wrote some pretty twisted things.
 
I took community college courses my senior year in highschool, and we did read Hamlet...it was actually a good experience, because we read it in class and the professor would explain every single detail after we were finished reading for the day. Still, would have hated it on my own.

There are lots of film adaptations of Hamlet that you might enjoy too, and it helps seeing it in context. There's one with Kenneth Branagh that's pretty good, and another with Russell Crowe that's more hammy.

Maybe you'd like Macbeth as well. :)
 

iamblades

Member
Part of me understands why people lie about 1984 because of it's political importance, but really the goddamn thing is 300 pages, if that, and Orwell's writing can be understood by fucking gradeschoolers. It's not exactly a difficult read.

Most of the stuff I read these days is nonfiction, don't really find the time to read as much fiction as I would like..
 

AoM

Member
Part of me understands why people lie about 1984 because of it's political importance, but really the goddamn thing is 300 pages, if that, and Orwell's writing can be understood by fucking gradeschoolers. It's not exactly a difficult read.

Most of the stuff I read these days is nonfiction, don't really find the time to read as much fiction as I would like..

Exactly. Now if it was something like The Sound and the Fury, then I could understand why they might not want to read it lol.
 
As far as a book that covers Racism, Childhood/Coming of Age, Southern

There are better in every category

Novels aren't reducible to their component elements in that way.

TKAM is not an american landmark solely because it covered racial issue and was published in era it was.

You don't have to like the novel personally but to dismiss it in such a manner is reductive in the extreme

confession time: i've read one book for pleasure in my entire life and that was goosebumps in like the 5th grade.

Fix that.

If John Waters doesn't think people should fuck you, then what are you doing with your life?
 
  • 1984 by George Orwell – Read and loved it.
  • War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy – Didn't read.
  • Great Expectations by Charles Dickens – Gave up reading.
  • Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger – Read it and liked it.
  • A Passage to India by E M Forster – Never heard of it.
  • Lord of the Rings by J R R Tolkein – Read it and liked it.
  • To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee – Read it and loved it.
  • Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – Never heard of it.
  • Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen – Didn't read.
  • Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë – Read it and hated it.
 

Zeliard

Member
These are the most common books I lie about having read:

1. The Master and Margarita
2. Under the Volcano
3. Lolita
4. Atlas Shrugged
5. Finnegans Wake

I hope The Master and Margarita is funny, because I usually claim that it was. Lolita and Atlas Shrugged I feel like I know enough about to give a decent impression that I've actually read them.

You should read Lolita. Nabokov is close to unbeatable as a prose stylist. Such a mesmerizing use of language, and in Lolita's case it's very self-aware about that fact too, as Humbert is a literary scholar who knowingly uses highly eloquent and poetic prose to tell his story and attempt to charm the reader.
 
You should read Lolita. Nabokov is close to unbeatable as a prose stylist. Such a mesmerizing use of language, and in Lolita's case it's very self-aware about that fact too, as Humbert is a literary scholar who knowingly uses highly eloquent and poetic prose to tell his story and attempt to charm the reader.


Oh yeah, come to think of it I did read it a while back. I had a false start at it, which always makes me forget I went back and finished it. I totally agree with your description and would recommend it h...

No, no, sorry. Maybe I will read it someday.
 
I feel other mediums do a better job at communication than books.

I don't, but I can't concentrate on while reading lately. :(

It's really starting to annoy me, since I've got whole cabinets of books I still need to read (because I bought them). And yes, paper books, not that electronic crap.

read of that list:

1984
to kill a mockingbird

it's a rather odd list to be honest. No one in the right mind would bother reading The Lord of The Rings given its size and story. Might as well go and read the fucking Bible while you're at it. Good god, how dull.

oh, and for the record: if you want to know what a drunk pirate Yoda would write, TRY reading Heart of Darkness. pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff nope
 

Amikami

Banned
It's seems strange to me that so many people even have to lie. Those books seem common enough. They're kinda forced on you, I would think, in most high schools.

As for reading as a medium. I personally think it's an excellent medium. It's one of the few mediums, that, depending on the content, I can really imagine myself in the book. I don't know if that's strange or not to anyone else. Sometimes there's too much of a barrier and I imagine myself as just some spectator. Other times, I project myself as the protagonist.

It requires a strong imagination and I guess that's one thing I'm known for. I do some personal creative writing of my own. I think that what keeps some people from enjoying a novel. The fact that you need to be able to imagine what you read to really visualize it. It was a skill I didn't gain till 10th grade.
 
i know people in real life that out of the blue started reading books and 1984 was included in the books read

some people just want to give the impression that they are book readers to appear literature savvy or something

just watch movies and stfu with your damn big brother bullshit fucking posers
 

Parch

Member
Do audiobooks count? I liked Catcher in the Rye. Moby Dick was a painful chore.

I did read 1984 in school. And that would be long before the actual year 1984.
 

Mumei

Member
Holy shit, you've read a lot in a short amount of time then. D:

Haha

Yeah, I started in August 2011, with Don Quixote, or basically everything from this page through page one. I have slowed down a lot from my frenzied initial pace, though, and I've been reading a lot more comics than I was before. It's just easier to do with this job, and certain evil posters made lots of great suggestions.

I have, in fact, read Planetary, the initial run of Runaways and the first six issues of (2005), the first three trade collections of The Unwritten, and the Rucka and Brubaker run of Gotham Central

Yeah, during this time I was also a member of the Doubleday book clubs and was spending hundreds on contemporary books as well. Mostly, a lot of smut, Patricia Cromwell, and Dean Koontz. I needed something light to read too! Of course, I had a job that I only worked 8 hours Saturday and Sunday evenings and was off the rest of the week. I had a lot of free time.

I am guessing you meant Patricia Cornwell? I read a lot of those Kay Scarpetta novels in high school! I think Body Farm was the first one I read. I had a rather macabre interest in forensics and true crime and murder-y stuff when I was younger and so it was right up my alley.

But if it was Cromwell, well, I have no idea.
 

Chichikov

Member
These are the most common books I lie about having read:

1. The Master and Margarita
2. Under the Volcano
3. Lolita
4. Atlas Shrugged
5. Finnegans Wake

I hope The Master and Margarita is funny, because I usually claim that it was. Lolita and Atlas Shrugged I feel like I know enough about to give a decent impression that I've actually read them.
The Master and Margarita is funny at times, but it's not a comedy book.
It's also like the greatest book ever, you should give it a go.

Lolita is brilliant and very easy to read, it has a fantastic flow to it, just read the first page, that shit will hook you up.

As for the others, I thought Finnegans Wake is borderline unreadable and Atlas Shrugged fucking blows. I have not read Under the Volcano.
Manuscripts don't burn, they just get turned into lackluster film adaptations.
Nice.
 

someday

Banned
I am guessing you meant Patricia Cornwell? I read a lot of those Kay Scarpetta novels in high school! I think Body Farm was the first one I read. I had a rather macabre interest in forensics and true crime and murder-y stuff when I was younger and so it was right up my alley.

But if it was Cromwell, well, I have no idea.
It wasn't Cromwell. Thanks for catching that.
 

Dresden

Member
I feel like everyone has read at least one of those in Jr High or High School. Or, they were instructed to.

Figure that'd be the case for most.

For me:

1984 by George Orwell – high school
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy – never
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens – never
Catcher in the Rye by J D Salinger – high school
A Passage to India by E M Forster – never
Lord of the Rings by J R R Tolkein – read because of the movies
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee – middle school
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – college
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen – high school
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë – never
 

EulaCapra

Member
I don't feign to reading classic novels and outright tell people I have little interest in them since my taste in books is so specific, but I certainly feign interest with friends that live and breathe classic novels.

They literally asked the whole group "Which classic author would you go on a date with?" I responded [to myself], "Why am I friends with these people again?" and most everyone said an author that went over my head while I said aloud, "Ernest Hemingway because he was hot in Midnight in Paris."
 

Phreaker

Member
What's funny is I did read a lot of those while in school, but that was a long time ago. I don't think I could have an intelligent conversation about most of them today. I more or less remember the reason they were important and what I took away from the story at the time I read them. I don't remember a lot of the details because it has been so long.
 
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