It all started one day long ago, when our man
Thacker posted a most sorrowful tale filled with tragedy and misfortune, about how a shrill and evil ex-girlfriend beat him with a phone after a "mutual" physical altercation. This girlfriend then became the head of some powerful company, malevolently shutting down all his job opportunities one after the other until, despondent, he turned to NeoGAF and made that first thread.
Filled with a sense of social activism, he tireless campaigned (in the NeoGAF topic) for sympathy and empathy for the tragic miscarriage of American justice in which a mere misdemeanor could mean someone as ALPHA and as talented as he - easily worth 80k at least - could not get a job. Understandably, NeoGAF's liberal elite agreed with this. But NeoGAF is a harsh mistress, and it wasn't so long before we turned to consume our own.
For Thacker made a second topic,
A Tale of 'Merica and Milk (retitled from its original thread release 1.0), in which he finally had a job interview with someone willing to pay him 70k. In his first e-mail, this fucking 80s Reagan-era wannabe had the AUDACITY to ask him for his
salary history and references. Knowing immediately this was a power play by some fucking trust fund kid out of control, he kept his composure and said he would respond later with his references and kept his salary history confidential. He was a player, and he knew it.
So he arrives at the interview early, and quickly finishes the forms they ask him to fill out. And then the horrific waiting game begins. Minute after minute ticks by. What seems like an eternity. The assistant knowingly sipping on her coffee, every suck amplified a million times as if an atomic bomb was going off in the empty minimalist lobby. He looked hastily at his watch:
FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
He looked and saw the man who was to give his interview on the phone. He angrily grumbled to himself and said internally he was NOT going to be taken advantage of, and his gut told him something was not right. So he got up and left. Like a fucking baller. He left. And then he got anxious and made this topic. Realizing he may have reacted... hastily... he decides to e-mail the guy.
Now as you can tell from reading it, as you might expect this is exactly the type of letter that says "PRIME WORKPLACE CANDIDATE, I SHOULD FORGET THAT LITTLE STUNT AND HIRE HIM", but no. That's not what happened. He got
this response instead:
Having just been given a SERVED SANDWICH with a side of PWNAGE lettuce, he began to defend his gut feeling, even despite every single person on NeoGAF saying it was insane and he should just wake up tomorrow with a new attitude.
He grew embittered, sensing yet another miscarriage of social justice, he begins to accuse us all of being
a perfect example of why the very fabric of society is crumbling, replete with references to wealth inequality and the death of the middle class. Crying eagles and american flags unfurled themselves as his patriotic banter, but it was not long to be.
For in a closing salvo, he informs NeoGAF that they have overdosed on
milk and estrogen, which is why we don't understand his perspective of standing up for himself and leaving immediately after 45 minutes. If only we had dipped far less cookies in our milk, mayhaps we could have grasped his vision of the world.
If only...
