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[PKrockin]

The CDi game looks like the worst game in existence. It looks absolutely wretched and unbearable to play; a deliberate attempt to annoy and frustrate you as much as possible.

 

[N4Us]

I was hoping for some miracle that somehow the CD-I version was way better, haha.

I know it isn't really possible, but I wish he could somehow do recap episodes where he gets developers of these awful games to come in and talk about what it was like working on such pieces of shit.

Maybe not the same thing, but in a similar fashion, someone e-mailed Jeanne Basone (the actress who played Jane in Plumbers Don't Wear Ties) the episode for his review on that, and apparently she was surprised that it even got released, saying that she and the other actors did the project as a favor to the director.

 

[Rapstah]

Best episode in a while and it felt like the production budget was put in the right places.

 

[Amagon]

I know it isn't really possible, but I wish he could somehow do recap episodes where he gets developers of these awful games to come in and talk about what it was like working on such pieces of shit.

Was thinking the same thing. They all need to put under a firing range.

I'd never heard of this game before the AVGN video. It's pretty crazy that you can complete the game in under a minute.

That explains the shitty controls were on purpose.

NIANANANANNA

Kill it with fire! Such a fucking annoying sound effect.



Video was short but pretty fucking funny. Thank you James! Dont forget he is doing Monster Madness this month, uploading new videos everyday.

http://cinemassacre.com

 

[TheYanger]

I loved Dark Castle on my...c64? I think is what I had it on (I was like 4). I never got past a single screen I'm fairly sure, but it was SO COOL haha. I've since played that genesis version, what a load of fuck.

 

[The Dutch Slayer]

Dark Castle

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/721808

WOW that was an terrible game omg that music..... :O

[edit] OMG @ WHIPPING THE GAME BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 

[Jocchan]

Awesome, watching later.

 

[Lord British]

There's a huge and apparently uncloseable Rage popup covering half the video. Anyone?

 

[Majukun]

I'd never heard of this game before the AVGN video. It's pretty crazy that you can complete the game in under a minute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szPT-dA2HOs

that's the entire game?
what about the other three doors?they're useless?

 

[Anteater]

Kill it with fire! Such a fucking annoying sound effect.

I was surprised it took him that long to point out the sound effect too :lol

 

[cagelessrat]

There's a huge and apparently uncloseable Rage popup covering half the video. Anyone?

Buy the game (new) and enter the code to disable internet ads about the game.

James is a busy guy right now, especially in October. I was happy enough with Monster Madness, so I'm overjoyed with a new AVGN. The CDi game looks like it was made in Paint.

 

[TheYanger]

that's the entire game?
what about the other three doors?they're useless?

If you make a TAS that abuses glitches yes they're useless.

 

[Negator]

Holy shit. This has got to be one of the worst games I have ever seen. It's awfulness is offensive.

 

[Brak]

wow Demi OP, now that's old school.

Dark Castle can eat a dick.

 

[evlcookie]

I loved dark castle back on the mac, Brings back memories

 

[Roland Deschain]

Remember renting this way back when. The controls are really beyond horrible.

 

[Deleted member 57681]

SADDAM WAS HERE

wat

 

[Nuclear Muffin]

Holy crap! That game really does look terrifying!

And the best bit is that he was using a MD/GEN controller with the CDI version. Imagine the controls using an actual CDI controller!

I can see why Saddam liked the game!

 

[Mungular]

good god that game looks horrible! im glad i never had that for my genesis haha

 

[Vampire On Titus]

Best episode in a long time, that CD-I version had me on the floor.

 

[MaddenNFL64]

Just saw it. HOLY FUCK Dark Castle is the worst game i've ever seen.

You want a definition of DERP? Here it is folks. I'm not fucking kidding. Put all your thoughts, your assumptions of the word DERP into one tangible idea. This is it.

 

[ThatObviousUser]

I lost it at "Saddam was a hardcore gamer."

Lol @ Kyle Justin's skeleton in the background.

 

[bender]

that's the entire game?
what about the other three doors?they're useless?

Well, you can go to the boss stage from the get go but it looks like the other three doors lead to items that help make that stage easier. The door on the right is for a shield. No idea about the other two doors with question marks.

 

[alr1ght]

wow, that was really bad. How is something like that even released?

 

[Azure Dream]

Just imagine, that game probably sold for normal game prices too for the time. Some unfortunate people payed MSRP for it.

Buy the game (new) and enter the code to disable internet ads about the game.

In a sad way, I wished this worked. It's like load up a video somewhere, have to watch a 30 second commercial about Netflix. Click to the next video, have to watch that same commercial again. I subscribe to Netflix, I don't need to watch commercials to sell me on it! Same goes for games I've already preordered or purchased, that sort of thing.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I never thought I'd be so sick of listening to a classical score like that.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I had this game on the C64. When I was a kid, I liked it. Realize now it was a bomb.

 

[Criminal Upper]

Holy shit, that was goddamn amazing.

Never heard of Dark Castle before, but it really looks like one the worst game's he's ever reviewed.

 

[BatDan]

Hopefully he looks at other notorious Genesis ports like Sword of Sodan and Shadow of the Beast.
I can't wait for the movie, reading Cinemassacre it sounds like he's giving it his all. Hell, he just became a YouTube Partner to gain additional funding for it.

 

[Jokeropia]

It actually amazes me how horribly crappy that game was, and I've seen some crappy games.

 

[Gomu Gomu]

Great episode. Glad he keeps pumping those up, despite being busy with his film.

 

[scorpscarx]

A huge wave of nostalgia washed over me when I detected I might recognize that game title.

It's funny how bad games were fun when I was a kid, I actually enjoyed this game for many reasons.

 

[Davey Cakes]

It amazes me how so many games from back then (and, hell, some games from now as well) fail to be good mostly because of bad controls. The player's input is what you'd think would be a completely fundamental aspect of games to try to get right.

Things like level design, music, story, and even difficulty should come AFTER a proper control scheme is implemented. What's interesting is that difficulty in games like Dark Castle actually comes from the horrible controls, and that's a really big problem. It's one thing to restrict the player's movement in some way (classic jump control in Castlevania, for example) as a mere aspect of the play style, but it's something else to develop a control scheme itself that's restrictive due to unresponsiveness and unreliability.

It really makes you think of all the games that came out that were automatically bad because of their controls.

 

[aaaaaa]

The graffiti in the Macintosh version was originally "Alaric Was Here", "Huns Rule" and "Vandals Sack". Alaric being the leader in the 410CE Sack of Rome.

 

[FlyinJ]

The game wasn't that bad on the Mac. It definitely had it's issues, but I can't imagine how anyone thought it would be remotely playable without a mouse.

In the original Mac version of the game, you controlled the character with WASD or the arrows, and his arm was completely analog, controlled with the mouse.

 

[Kagami]

I thought the title sounded familiar but couldn't quite remember it until people said it was on Mac. I played this in black-and-white on a a Mac SE in high school, I think. Didn't get very far.

 

[DJ_Lae]

The game wasn't that bad on the Mac. It definitely had it's issues, but I can't imagine how anyone thought it would be remotely playable without a mouse.

In the original Mac version of the game, you controlled the character with WASD or the arrows, and his arm was completely analog, controlled with the mouse.

I really enjoyed it on Mac, as well as the sequel Beyond Dark Castle. Beat them a ton of times.

I did play the Genesis version and yeah, its controls made the game basically unplayable.

 

[Acrylic7]

the whole thing was hilarious. I was on the floor laughing, then he got to the CDI part. That shit was bonkers.

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Dunno why, 'even the vulture looks bored!' Got to me. :lol

 

[Frankenstrat]

C...D...IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!

holy shit this is awesome

 

[Jasoco]

Dark Castle? More like Dark Asshole.

Some areas look like a terribly programmed version of the Donkey Kong series. Like the guy who throws barrels or the vines. Plus the Galaxian style birds. (He called them bats. But they were obviously birds.) They borrowed from a lot of games.

 

[Medalion]

If this game was made in the 00's, the graffiti would read "Osama been here"

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

Dark Castle? More like Dark Asshole.

Gothic Arsehole?

 

[Utako]

I have a fever. Dark Castle made me want to throw up. But those are the games which make classic AVGNs. Hilarious!

 

[wondermega]

has the Nerd ever been spotted on neogaf? does he even read it?

some games he should review:

Contra Force
Tower Toppler/Castelian (ugh!! Hate this game so much!! why is it still enjoyable though?)
Space Football
California Games Atari Lynx (actually a great game, but I can see how people would hate it!)
Spider-Man Sega Genesis (why does he punch cops?)

 

[B_Rik_Schitthaus]

Gothic Arsehole?

I'm looking for the magic.

 

[Ifrit]

That game looked awful, therefore making the episode great

 

[Lionel Mandrake]

I lost it at Saddam.

 

[Jasoco]

Gothic Arsehole?

Exactly. Every time I hear Castle preceded by another word I think of that scene.

 

[Leona Lewis]

Oh my God at the CDi version. The game looks like a nightmare. My stomach is sore because I was laughing so hard.