Only 8 matches left on the IWA-MS mess. First up Simon Sezz & Hy-Zaya have teamed up after their earlier match to take on two middle-aged frat boys, Kappa Tappa Kegga. The fat one takes a spill out of the ring and lands face first, huge slap of skin on concrete. The flippy dudes take early control, hitting both their dives well, but the frat guys brawl with them through the crowd and suplex Zaya into a door a couple of times. Back in the ring they put Simon into a tree of woe then the fat guy goes for a jumping headbutt but just lands on his face. Zaya returns to make the save and flippy dudes go to work. Hy-Zaya fucking KILLS himself on a swanton bomb for the win. JEEEEEZUS!!! That match sucked, lol. Super awkward segment post-match as Ian runs down the frat dudes and tells them about the real meaning of 4:20. He then says that if they cut out their stupid shit and turn up on time next Saturday he'll give them a job. They never turned up.
Chris Hero vs Alex Shelley! I'm actually looking forward to this. Wrist-lock exchange to start off. Hero does a flippy lucha escape. Ugh. Real fast counter-for-counter stuff on the mat until Hero scores with a cravate takedown. Shelley rolls it into a pin for a 2. Hero returns to the cravate, but Shelley just suplexes his out of it. Indie respect stand-off. Test of strength, but Shelley drops down, kicks out a hand and trips Hero into an inverted cross-face. Smooth. Hero headscissors free but Shelley kips out and arm drags him back to the mat. Goofy headstand escape from Hero. Another stand off. Shelley puts on a weird submission that's like a figure four mixed with a truck hitch. Looks dumb. Hero reverses the polarity and Shelley gets to the ropes. He grabs a side-headlock takedown, but Hero flops out of it Johnny Saint-style. He tries to do the Lady of the Lake, but Shelley just stomps on his face. Hah. Crowd are falling asleep, they want to see MOVEZZZZZ!! Shelley responds, shooting Hero into the rope and hitting a big enziguri.
He hammerlocks Hero and slams him back into the mat. Shelley charges, but eats a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and both guys are down. Hero gets to his feet first and hits a shitty doublestomp for 2. Arm-trap vertical suplex for another near-fall. Crowd are really dead at this point, except for one girl who keeps half-heartedly shouting "C'mon, Chris". Hero gets tough and starts slapping the shit out of Shelley, who responds with some chops and a big boot. He takes too long to follow up though, and Hero catches him into a sit-out powerbomb. Shelley gets his feet to the ropes, so Chris tries a lariato which only gets him 2. Hero hits a bodyslam and tries a double-jump moonsault, but Shelley moves out of the way and Hero hits the mat hard. Back-breaker across the knee from Shelley. Big tornado DDT for 2. Shelley tries for...something, but Hero hoists him into an electric chair and then just fucking slams him face-first on the mat. Hero locks in the Hangman's Clutch (cravate STF) and Shelley taps. The back-and-forth stuff at the start was good, but Hero lost the crowd once he took control and they didn't give a shit about Shelley's comeback.
Aw, fuck no. The Lancasters are back and, seeing as their trampoline backyarder match was interupted by Cash Flo earlier, they're going to do it again. Kill me now. Hah, hip-toss that ended up dunking the guy on his head. I think that was intentional. I can't tell these guys apart. Shitty leg lariat. Neither guy knows how to run the ropes, I'm sure they're trampoline backyarders. Aimless move after move shit. One of them wins with a shitty Cop Killa.