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August Wrasslin' |OT| starring Bryan Danielson & John Cena in a worked reality show

SoulPlaya

more money than God
SEE NO EVIL 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit, I can't believe they're actually making it. I have to say, Kane has had an absolutely amazing career, especially when you consider that he hasn't had to do any backstage politicking to get where he is.
 

Plywood

NeoGAF's smiling token!
Some more stuff from the latest issue of the Observer:
the latest word is that the pre-show match might be Cesaro vs. RVD).
Someone hates Cesaro.
While it's successful reality TV so far, every single solitary person within wrestling who has commented on the show to me—including, I should note, people who were involved in the production of it—hate the show passionately. The only person in WWE who has spoken out has been Dolph Ziggler. Most of the wrestlers were overseas last week so they didn't see episode one, but many of them saw episode two and thought it was awful. There is the feeling that you don't speak out about it because it's the Bellas' vehicle, and Nikki is dating Cena, and if it gets back to Cena that's the end of your push. Dolph either didn't get the memo or didn't care.
This comes across as fake, I wish it would say specifically what Ziggler said.
-Eva Marie bit
So Eva who is probably a good gal in real life got legit shook, but she's being played up as a heel.

I'm with Net_Wrecker on this one.
 

strobogo

Banned
Total Divas has so many levels to it that I can't even comprehend it. Especially when you add in Raw's storylines and reality. And somehow they are acting like the events of the Divas show are happening concurrently with what is on Raw, even though they are clearly months behind. The blending of worked shoots, shoot shoots, shoot works, multiple realities is just too much for me to handle.

I mean...John Cena the character on Raw talks about John Cena the real person, and John Cena the character on Total Divas. TD clearly breaks kayfabe completely, but the kayfabe version of Cena that is a pro wrestler who is the champion talks about the character Cena on the show that breaks said kayfabe, who talks about the Cena outside of both shows. I can't even think about it.
 

A Pretty Panda

fuckin' called it, man
SEE NO EVIL 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit, I can't believe they're actually making it. I have to say, Kane has had an absolutely amazing career, especially when you consider that he hasn't had to do any backstage politicking to get where he is.
6 foot dick for the sequel
 
What's wierd is Daniel Bryan comes out as Bryan Danielson but in the next scene Johnny Curtis shows up as Fandango. Make up your mind. John Cena is a fucking douche on the show too
 

gurudyne

Member
What's wierd is Daniel Bryan comes out as Bryan Danielson but in the next scene Johnny Curtis shows up as Fandango. Make up your mind. John Cena is a fucking douche on the show too

You're asking for logic and consistency from a show that is a spin-off of a poorly written professional wrestling show and which is in a genre that makes professional wrestling look like legitimate theatre by comparison.

Let's keep some perspective here, people.
 
That Divas show seems like the worst shit. Its like "why women's wrestling sucks: the show".

That beard thread in the OT however is some top notch stuff. Excellent work Sunflower.
 
The card for WRESTLE-1's first show has been announced;

WRESTLE-1, 2013/09/08
Tokyo Dome City Hall

1. Women's Pro Wrestling Match: X vs. X
2. Hiroshi Yamato & Daiki Inaba (Debut) vs. X & X
3. Ryota Hama & Yasufumi Nakanoue vs. X & X
4. KAI Return Match: KAI vs. X
5. Minoru Tanaka & X vs. X & X
6. Kaz Hayashi & Shuji Kondo VS. X & X
7. Masakatsu Funaki & Masayuki Kono vs. X & X
8. Keiji Muto & X vs. X & X

That's a lot of X's, it'll be interesting to see who they bring in. Undoubtedly there'll be some Japanese freelance wrestlers, but whether New Japan or some indies put in talent remains to be seen. There's also the TNA stuff, Mutoh apparently expressed interest in bringing over Angle & Hardy and wants to make 'dream matches'. Here's the logo for the promotion;

iu8TYuGGONdtE.jpg
 

Aiii

So not worth it
So, this is funny from our favorite lamps website:
Aug-09-13 - *DDoS Update*

Just a quick update. We have had numerous reports (including from our host that could pin point it). Our recent DDoS attack appears like it has originated from from Joe Morganelli (of The Morganelli Group) against LAMPS at the request of the UFC. This makes even more sense due to it happening not long after UFC 163 which was released on early Sunday morning. (When the attack begun)

There have also been reports that at least a quarter of the DDoS IP's came from Stamford Connecticut. We all know which headquarters are based there (WWE). Whether these were spoofed IP's or not, who knows.

This is simply an update. But i have to make it clear that if we are DDoS Attacked again, we will probably have to change our server once again because right now, we simply cannot afford DDoS protection which costs close to $400 a month (before server payment). This all costs money. And this is money i cannot afford personally and this is certainly something i would not ask our members to pay for either.

We have given all of the information we can at this point. If you are upset by this, you now know the source.

By the way UFC & WWE. DDoS Attacks are illegal. Yes, more illegal than lamps..

I wonder if UFC got more buys out of this.
 
The card for WRESTLE-1's first show has been announced;

WRESTLE-1, 2013/09/08
Tokyo Dome City Hall

1. Women's Pro Wrestling Match: X vs. X
2. Hiroshi Yamato & Daiki Inaba (Debut) vs. X & X
3. Ryota Hama & Yasufumi Nakanoue vs. X & X
4. KAI Return Match: KAI vs. X
5. Minoru Tanaka & X vs. X & X
6. Kaz Hayashi & Shuji Kondo VS. X & X
7. Masakatsu Funaki & Masayuki Kono vs. X & X
8. Keiji Muto & X vs. X & X

Funaki!!!

1262407-screenshot001.png


WE ARE HYBRID WRESTLERS!!!
 

Aiii

So not worth it
1. Women's Pro Wrestling Match: X vs. X
2. Hiroshi Yamato & Daiki Inaba (Debut) vs. X & X
3. Ryota Hama & Yasufumi Nakanoue vs. X & X
4. KAI Return Match: KAI vs. X
5. Minoru Tanaka & X vs. X & X
6. Kaz Hayashi & Shuji Kondo VS. X & X
7. Masakatsu Funaki & Masayuki Kono vs. X & X
8. Keiji Muto & X vs. X & X

Shelton Benjamin sure is getting a payday this night.
 

strobogo

Banned
That'd be excellent if Vince was huddled over at his desk watching an illegal stream of UFC shows, no doubt screaming GOD DAMN IT every few minutes.
 
Funaki is awesome, I was just watching this the other day, fun match;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzJmIDMy8qI

here's something right up your alley, Boots. early Pancrase was very UWFi-ish, so if enjoy shoot-style, you'll love these:

Pancrase: Masakatsu Funaki vs Frank Shamrock (1995)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND8W85-EJJA

Pancrase: Bas Rutten vs Masakatsu Funaki (1996)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8neJDeiYsA

Pancrase: Ken Shamrock vs Minoru Suzuki (1995)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2qgTiVFDRE feat. Suzuki with a normal haircut.
 

strobogo

Banned
WCW Monday Nitro 5/11/98

Nitro is, sadly, back to 3 hours. Thunder also returns this week. Show starts with a recap of the end of last week's show, which was a big brawl, which has been the ending to every Nitro for a year and a half.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Gene brings Bret Hart out. Maybe this time he'll actually give an answer for his actions. Bret vs Savage for the first time ever (which I'm not sure is actually true, but it is on PPV) at Slamboree. Bret has been in Savage's way of being the best all along. THE WCW. THE WCW. THE WCW. THE WCW. THE WCW. THE WCW. He still didn't give any answer on why he joined with Hogan, but isn't wearing nWo shirts or anything.

TO THE MEAN GENE. Again, I guess. He introduces the Nitro Girls, who all come out one by one. I'm hoping Alex Wright will also come out, otherwise this was just a huge waste of time. No Alex Wright...so, what a waste of time.


Barry Horowitz! vs Disco Inferno

Barry Horiblewitz is back! Lol, WCW, you so cray. Barry vs Blue Blazer were some of my favorite house show matches that were brought to my attention via 24/7. They were great. Barry is getting offense! Disco wins with a spinning neck breaker. Well, okay.

Randy Savage comes to the ring. Eventually. His music played for a good 2 minutes before he came out. He's ready to fight tonight and wants HOGAN. TONIGHT! That bald headed reject from the glue factory primadonna. I like when Hogan and Savage throw bald insults at each other. It's so ridiculous. They both have been bald since the 70s.

Kidman vs Juventud Guerrera


Again? Seriously? Come on, guys. Kidman bails to the floor, but Juvi does a big splash and smacks his head on the ground. I really thought Juvi reversed a powerbomb, but I guess Kidman did a facebuster. I couldn't tell until Kidman got up and I thought it was a bizzare way to sell that move. He comes off the top, but Juvi catches him with a drop kick. Springboard cross body only gets a 2 count. Reversals and bridges lead up to a SPIKE Juvi Driver. Kidman distracts the ref and Reese hits the double chokeslam. SSP for the win. Reese carries Juvi out like a baby.

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Bischoff comes to the ring on a motorcycle. He's an American Bad Ass! Oh shit, he's talking about Vince McMahon! Now he's talking about X-Pac. "Bite me. I apologize to no one." Shots fired. He challenges Vince McMahon to a match at Slamboree. Lol. I'd love to see them have a shoot fight. Even with Bischoff's training, I'm pretty sure Vince would rip him apart, even today.

Alex Wright tries to dance with the Nitro Girls, again. They should just make him the first male Nitro Girl. There are some basketball teams that have had male cheerleaders.

Yuji Nagata vs Scott Norton



Blue Justice! Even though he was black and gold in WCW. This seems like the kind of match that could be good due to their Japanese styles. Yuji was mostly put up against guys who he clashed with hilariously, so a guy who he actually matches up with could be fun. Yuji hits a belly to belly, kind of, and then a kick combo ending in a gamenguri. Norton just runs through Yuji. Backdropdivaahh. Shoulder breaker. Not much work for Norton. Sonny Ono seemed to be happy for Norton.

i5G5w4yKgJnjm.gif


Recap of Perfect joining the Wolfpac.

Hugh Morrus vs Jim Powers

Hugh wins in like 40 seconds.

We were about to go to break, but the Wolfpac come out through the crowd and they decide to stick with it. It's not even the full group. It's just Nash and Konnan. He talks about Hogan and Bischoff needing Viagra and stuff. He wants Hogan to come out and admit that Nash is bigger, stronger, younger, and sexier. And also to admit that Nash's nWo is the real one. "I know for a fact, Hogan, that you don't sit around your house listening to Mac 10." Lol. This was to illustrate that Hogan was too white to use "too sweet" and "4 life".

Ultimo Dragon vs Johnny Swinger

SO many jobbers on this show. Chavo comes out. Another jobber. Jobbers everywhere. Dragon hits the ugliest spinning rana you'll ever see and wins with the Dragon Sleeper. Chavo congratulates Dragon, which brings Eddie out. They argue and Chavo shoves him down. Eddie begs Chavo to hit him, but Dragon put the sleeper on Eddie. Chavo pulled him off.

ioZ0pYAk50MF4.gif


Dusty Rhodes comes out. Haven't seen him for quite a while. He's come here to filibuster. He says Hogan and Bischoff are eating at the table Dusty set. He talks about offering a young Hall shelter from the storm and how he became the coolest dude on the planet. He says Hall will be at the PPV and tells Savage to stop bitching. He seems to be telling both sides to STFU, but this was a great short Dusty rant.

Goldberg vs Glen Denton(?) WCW US Championship

Ultra squash considering this dude was a jobber even by WCW jobber standards. JOBBERS ERRYWHERE. 83 and 0. What? Pretty sure Raven was win 75. I don't think he's 8 matches in 3 weeks. Especially since Thunder hasn't even been on.

TO THE MEAN GENE.
He's bringing out JJ and Raven. Apparently, Raven has filed a grievance. JJ makes it known he doesn't like Raven personally, but agrees that he may have breached Raven's contract by allowing for an unsafe work environment. WCW will provide 4 riot officers to protect Raven at all times. Lol. He brings them and the Flock out. He challenges DDP to a Bowery Death Match for Slamboree. He also asks for Saturn to come out. Even though Hammer won the loser leaves Flock match, they kick Hammer out anyway. Jerry Flynn runs in and attacks Saturn.

Jerry Flynn vs Saturn

This started pretty weird since the Flock and security were in the ring when Flynn attacked and just stood there. Saturn wins in a hurry with the DVD.

Fit Finlay vs Robbie Rage WCW TV Championship


I predict Finlay to hit this muscled up freak really hard at least once. Finlay mostly dominated. Then the other Voltage guy tried to interfere, but Booker stopped him. Finlay hit the tombstone to retain. Then that RACIST Benoit came out to brawl with Book. Then JJ came out. He says that both guys had individual matches tonight, but they are canceled and will face each other tonight with the winner to face Finlay at the PPV. But Tony announced at the beginning of the show that Book vs Benoit would happen tonight.

Larry Lane vs DDP

Man. I'm just here for the Kanyon Cutter. Give this JOBBER a Kanyon Cutter. Bang him. DDP is going to bang Larry Lane! And there it is, avalanche Kanyon Cutter! BANG! Went well this this beer and t-bone I'm having at 5:42 AM because I AM A MAN. DDP calls Raven out. He comes to the top of the ramp with his riot squad and goes to the back like a pussy.

iZmfAqV9KHfeN.gif


Hogan, Bischoff, Beefcoke, Virgil, and Crush come to the ring. Hogan is sans mustache, but still has the stubble, and he looks fucking weird. It's one thing for him to be without the mustache in a movie, but in a ring and in his wrestling gear is too weird. It's story time with the champ. He claims that Hall and Nash needed him and would be nothing without him. Beefcoke is also missing his beard. He calls Nash out, and Nash comes to the ring. The first thing he says is something making fun of Hulk's woman glasses. Hulk comes back with a dress joke, and Nash wants to know why Hulk was checking him out. A lot of sexual tension on these shows between Hogan and Nash, Hogan and Savage, and DDP and everyone. Hulk says he's got a big gun...and out comes THE GIANT in an nWo shirt! SWERVE. "OH MY GOD". Giant attacks and spray paints Nash. I'd really love to hear the explanation on why Giant joined the nWo. The rest of the Wolfpac come out, except for Perfect, who has been a no show since he joined the group. Now we have a stand off. I guess.

A weird Twix commercial airs that was the scene from Frankenstein where he throws the little girl in the water. SPOILERS. Suck it. It's 80 years old. Except the monster had Twix and the girl said he should share because he has two, so he rips his arm off. Wat.

Recap of Jericho's escapades last week.

TO THE MEAN GENE.
Gene has Jericho in the ring. Jericho talks about all the things he's taken, including Rey's knee. He wants to retire the title since no one can beat him. JJ comes out and says that is premature, because the booking committee has booked a 15 man cruiserweight battle royal with the winner facing Jericho at Slamboree. Chris is at first upset, but then realizes it is a good deal for him. Joe Malenko comes to the ring. Jericho insists everything was in jest. He then attacks with the dummy leg.

Sick Boy vs Glacier


Unover heel vs unover heel. And they're both JOBBERS. Monday Night JOBBERS. Sick Boy is wearing some Austin level of short shorts. They botch stuff so bad that the crowd boos and Tony asks what is going on. Saturn runs out and superkicks Glacier, throwing Sick Boy on top of him for the win. Oh. No, it was only a two count, even though the bell rang. They get up and Glacier hits a super kick for the win. What a weird fucking finish. Saturn comes back in and lays Glacier out again.

i4b55bTbeq94o.gif


Recap of the Steiner stuff from last week.

TO THE MEAN GENE.
He brings out Lex. Fack. Lex is talking about some buddy of his who had to have shoulder surgery because of you know who...I assume he was talking about Scott Steiner, but I don't know which guy who has been injured besides Buff.

Booker T vs Chris Benoit

Tenay makes an announcement from the PENTAGON. Apparently, Nitro is the most popular thing to service men in Saudi Arabia. There must be a winner in this match and that winner will face Finlay at the PPV. Benoit got a hair cut! I bet it was by a racist barber. He goes to town with chops and kicks. Racist chops and kicks. Because Chris Benoit is a racist. Possibly the most racist wrestler to ever live. He's an embarrassment to the sport and I don't blame WWE for not putting him on DVDs when they can avoid it. Booker comes back for a bit until Benoit hits the Reich suplex. Then a snap suplex. Neither guy can get sustained offense. Booker rips his dick on the ropes. Much like Hall trying to do the Razor's Edge near the ropes, I'll never understand why Book goes for the Harlem side kick right next to the ropes. It never works. Diving headbutt. Ax kick. Spinewalk slam. Pankcake Norton. Spinarooni. Benoit tries to throw the ref into a kick, but Mark Curtis is a worker and knows better. But this let Benoit lock on the Iron Crossface for the win. Benoit vs Finlay this Sunday.

Hollywood Hogan vs Randy Savage WCW Championship

Tony keeps talking about how big of a deal this is because it is nWo vs nWo, even though this match already happened as nWo vs nWo and Konnan vs Crush was nWo vs nWo. Buffer's intros were so over the top and ridiculous. So wordy. Why couldn't Hogan have been the one to die instead of Savage? I mean, I don't really wish death on Hulk Hogan, but if the choice came down to Hogan or Savage, I'd pick Hogan to die every time. But also, fuck this match. No one wants to see Hogan actually wrestle. They want to see him get beat up, but not have actual matches. Especially slow, boring matches that he dominates and makes a clearly superior wrestler look like a chump. There was never a point in time where Hogan was better than Savage at anything. Even now, I'm pretty sure the skeleton of Randy Savage would be a better GM, booker, and wrestler than Hogan. Bret comes out and hits Savage with the title. Then spits on him and gets hit with a drink. Hogan makes the cover and retains. Nash comes out, followed by Piper. He declares Savage the winner by DQ. But you can't win the title on a DQ, so who gives a shit. He says he'll be the ref for Savage vs Hart. Giant comes out, while Piper is talking about the A&E special and Viagra.

inLcKagcUqfeT.gif
 

Nisa65

Member
Picked up this shirt from a hobby store while wandering around Osaka today. Figured some of you would dig it.


There seems to be quite a few NJPW crossover shirts that have been made available. Still bummed about missing out on one of those Monster Hunter x NJPW shirts that came out last year.

Also saw some Japanese dude wearing a Daniel Bryan "Yes!" shirt In Den Den Town today.Would like to know exactly where he got it as I never see WWE merch for sale here outside of the official site.
 
WWF New York was featured so heavily once it opened, I sort of wish it didn't close. I can imagine it to be wild in there for a Raw or PPV.
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
I wake up this morning and no Bootaaay tweets to keep me up on what I'm missing on the G1!
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
That might have something to do with the last two days being on Saturday & Sunday ;)

commence handwringing. I'm exhausted and I never know if it's "you people's" saturday, Japan's saturday, or my saturday.

They announced the G1 Finals as a PPV by itself for $30. Tempting since it's a Sunday morning / Saturday night at 2am.

Please do!
 

jmdajr

Member
SEE NO EVIL 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit, I can't believe they're actually making it. I have to say, Kane has had an absolutely amazing career, especially when you consider that he hasn't had to do any backstage politicking to get where he is.

I knew you'd be hyped! :)
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
Also jeezus.jpg welcome back Soulplaya. Let's make some Carlos Boozer jokes because that ban was bullshit.
 

Kaladin

Member
Total Divas has so many levels to it that I can't even comprehend it. Especially when you add in Raw's storylines and reality. And somehow they are acting like the events of the Divas show are happening concurrently with what is on Raw, even though they are clearly months behind. The blending of worked shoots, shoot shoots, shoot works, multiple realities is just too much for me to handle.

I mean...John Cena the character on Raw talks about John Cena the real person, and John Cena the character on Total Divas. TD clearly breaks kayfabe completely, but the kayfabe version of Cena that is a pro wrestler who is the champion talks about the character Cena on the show that breaks said kayfabe, who talks about the Cena outside of both shows. I can't even think about it.

This hurts my brain.

The best way for Total Divas to "break" is if someone pivotal to it gets fired or seriously injured.

They've already filmed the entire season so it wouldn't effect this year, and they would just replace whoever got injured on next season anyway if they had to....even if it was one of the Bella Twins.
 
D

Deleted member 47027

Unconfirmed Member
I did watch Ep 1 of Total Divas in mark mode. It wasn't horrible. Will watch ep 2 to see what happens.
 
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