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WCW Slamboree 4/17/98
NOTE: There are a ton of gifs. SUCK IT.
And the show starts with a recap of Bischoff reading lawyer stuff from Vince.
EARLIER TODAY. Doug Dillinger came out and asked fans if they'd seen Vince McMahon. Lol.
Chris Benoit vs Fit Finaly WCW TV Championship
This will probably be the highlight of the night, racism be damned. I mean, Hitler was Hitler, but he has such incredible fashion sense. Same thing. Even as a Jew, I can admit that. I expect this to be stiff and mean. Bridges and chain wrasslin and roll ups and attacking drop toe holds. Just intense grappling. A stiff lariat makes Benoit have to roll to the floor to regain some racist composure. But Finlay follows him out and hits that wacky body slam he had. Benoit gets out of a camel clutch with an electric chair. He makes a chopping come back, but Finlay stops it with an eye poke and chin lock. It goes back to the floor where Benoit uses a chair in front of the ref. Benoit goes for a suicide dive (lol), but Finlay gets that same chair up and Benoit crashes and burns. Finlay hits another of his body slams for a 2 count. Benoit goes for the Reich suplexes, but they get stopped at two. Finlay tries a lariat that is countered into the Iron Crossface, but he was in the ropes. Benoit went up for the diving headbutt, but Booker came out. He stopped to jaw jack. Finlay hit a baseball slide right to the base of the neck. Probably led to the death of some people Benoit knew. Tombstone for the win.
Brian Adams vs Lex Luger
Nah. I'm not up for this shit. I'm not sure who Crush injured. Lex had that promo about Scotty/Crush making one of his best friends have to have shoulder surgery, but I really don't remember anyone besides Buff being injured recently. Lex wins with the Torture Rack.
TO THE SATURN. It sounds like he's sick of The Flock and is fine with being out of it now. I believe he's making the gauntlet match a singles match between he and Goldberg.
15 Luchador Battle Royal Winner Faces Chris Jericho
Jericho does the intro. He makes shits all over all of them. Here are the gifs. Some new people I don't remember, jobbers, and NO LA PARKA. How strange. Johnny Swinger, Marty Janetty, but no La Parka. There actually aren't many interesting things before it got down to just a few people. It comes down to Juvi and Ciclope. They shake hands and Juvi jumps over the ropes. Ciclope unmasks to reveal DEAN MALENKO to a pop that Cena would be jealous of.
Dean Malenko vs Chris Jericho WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Crowd is HYPE to see Dean get his revenge. Dean is beating dat ass. Jericho comes back with a nasty hot shot. Jericho follows with a senton, stalling suplex, and Lionsault. They do a series of reversals that ends in the underhook backbreaker. Dean comes back with an Achilles lock, but Jericho gets out of the ring. He comes back with a flying back elbow. Jericho goes for a super rana, but gets caught with the super gut buster. That was the first move I made when the Smackdown games allowed for corner create a moves. He locks in the cloverleaf. NEW CHAMPION! Fans pop huge. Dean has done it! He finally has his revenge from the months of Jericho being a fucking cock towards him and his family.
TO THE VINNIE MAC CAM. A white limo is followed around town. Doug Dillinger checks it out and talks to another security guy.
Raven vs DDP Bowery Death Match
This is an enclosed cage match with weapons in the corners. I hope this match holds up as well as I remember, because I remember loving this match. But I remembered loving this whole feud and it has totally held up. DDP gets the early advantage, but Raven shoves him into one of the trash cans in the corner. DDP goes into the cage hard. I'd like to see some Flair/Dusty levels of obvious blading. Ric Flair was always my favorite when it came to not even trying to hide his blading. So amazing. Austin's was also super obvious. Raven gets the weapons out. There is a VCR in one of the cans. DDP comes back with a discus lariat. He has a bullrope. He wraps it around Raven's neck and throws him into the cage. Now he's trying to hang him from the roof. DDP uses the VCR. CZFNW!!! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUSSSS!!! Raven kicks DDP off of him, which sends him back first into one of the trash cans. He then goes to down with the trash can, low blows, and cookie sheets. I can't believe how big cookie sheets got in pro wrestling in the late 90s. Fucking cookie sheets. THEY DON'T HURT. I've been hit with one. I've hit someone with one. They don't hurt at all. Raven gets a sleeper on, but DDP backing into the corner bumps the ref. I don't know why you need a ref bump in a death cage match, but it is a Raven match after all. DDP hits the chair drop toe hold. The Flock try to enter the cage, but Hammer attacks them with a stop sign. He handcuffs Reese to the guard rail. He calmly walks off when the riot squad go after him. They then enter the ring and attack DDP. Kidman and Whoreass were two of them. Kanyon Cutter to Whoreass! BANG! Kidman hangs from the roof and tries to attack, but also gets hit with a Kanyon Cutter. BANG! Raven hits the Evenflow. After a series of reverals, RAVEN hits a Kanyon Cutter! BANG! So many bangs. So homoerotic. DDP gets up before the 10 count. Another series of reversals ends with DDP hitting the Kanyon Cutter. BANG! 4 for the match now. DDP is the one to make it up before the 10 count and is declared the winner. DDP leaves the cage and one of the riot guards handcuffs the rest of the Flock members to the cage, including Raven. He takes off his helmet to reveal Mortis. He takes off the Mortis mask to reveal KANYON! BANG! He then redoes the chair shot heard 'round the world and walks off. KANYON!!!
TO THE VINNIE MAC CAM. More security guys looking for Vince and or top WWF guys to arrive.
Ultimo Dragon vs Eddie Guerrero
Chavo's freedom is at stake. They start with a lot of ground work. A lot of the flippy monkey flip lucha kind of stuff in the opening minutes. Dragon hits his kick combo. Eddie bails to the floor, but when he comes back in, he gets put in a Muta lock. Eddie comes back with a lariatooo. He throws Dragon the the floor and whips him in to the railing. Then starts choking him with some cables. Eddie goes for a super rana and gets crotched and then knocked to the floor. Dragon hits the Asai moonsault. Dragon then hits the full Delphin special backbreaker. I think that's the proper name. Idk. I'm not Mike Tenay. Moonsault from Dragon gets a 2 count. He goes for the spinning super rana, but Eddie throws him off and hits the tornado DDT. He misses the frog splash. Dragon almost wins with la magistral cradle. Dragon does an in ring Asai moonsault into Dragon sleeper. Eddie reverses it into a dragon sleeper of his own. He puts his feet on the ropes. Chavo pushes them off. But Eddie hits the frog splash for the win. After the match, Chavo attacks Dragon. Even Eddie wants him to chill out. Eddie and Chavo kind of get into it. Then he makes Chavo kiss him on the cheek because he's a dick head like that.
TO THE BACK. We see the locker room that is devoted to Vince McMahon should he show up.
Saturn vs Goldberg WCW US Championship
I hope this is as awesome as their last match. Why this was changed from gauntlet to singles match I don't know, but this is better anyways. I forgot to mention that Saturn finally shaved his head a few weeks ago. He should have done it a long time ago since his hair was in bad shape. Press slam to power slam. The a Warrior style press slam. Saturn bails to the floor after that. He comes back in and hits his kick combo in the corner. He hits a leg sweep and slaps Goldy, which was not a good idea. It goes to the floor where Goldberg clotheslines the ring post. Saturn does a drop kick off the apron. Saturn hits a spin wheel kick back in the ring and puts a sleeper on. It doesn't last long before he's belly to belly suplexed out of it, but he comes right back with a neck breaker. Saturn goes for a vertical suplex. It is reversed to into the power neckbreaker. Saturn comes back with a t-bone and gets a chair. He uses it to hit a drop kick off of. He tries it again and gets speared. Jackhammer for the win. Definitely not as cool as their first match. I really thought Saturn vs Glacier would happen at this show due to Saturn shitting all over Glacier on Thunder, but I guess not.
Eric Bischoff vs Vince McMahon
Bischoff wins by forfeit. Lol. I still think it's funny that he ended up working for Vince. I wonder how much that damaged his ego. I'm sure he made bank, but still. I would imagine it was much worse than whatever Heyman felt in his various WWE runs over the years. Seems like it would be admitting publicly that Vince was the better man and better businessman. And the better businessman part seems like it would kill Bischoff. I bet Vince literally came when he was able to be Bischoff's boss.
Bret Hart vs Randy Savage Special guest referee: Roddy Piper
Even in 1998, I'm excited for this. Both guys could still go in 1998. This was really the last year that both men could go and/or were given the chance to go. Savage was AWFUL in 1999. The summer of 1999 in WCW was worse than all of WCW 2000. It was truly the worst point in WCW history in my opinion, and the fact that Randy Savage was a focal point of it made it hurt even more. Piper has to throw Bret into the ring to start things. Also, Piper came out second, which is weird for a special guest ref. He should have been the first guy out. Bret gets out to an early start. It goes back and forth and all of the sudden Savage is on the offense with chokes and punches. I really go back and forth between Savage and Hall having my favorite wrasslin punches of all time. Piper is such a shitty ref that he can't even wear a ref shirt. He's wearing one of his own shirts. Like a dick head. It goes to the floor pretty early on. Bret tries to throw the steps on Savage, but Macho moved just in time. Now it heads out into the crowd. I believe Bret goes face first into the hockey boards. It gets back in the ring and Bret changes the pace with one kick to the knee. He continues to work over the knee and we are told that Scott Hall has arrived in the building. Russian leg sweep. Then a fucking solid piledriver. Then a DDT. But Bret showboats and Savage kicks out at 2. Bret misses the second rope elbow. You knew he was going to miss as soon as he did it like a normal elbow drop. Savage goes up top and hits the elbow, but lands on his bad knee and doesn't make the pin right away. Bret kicks out. Bret comes back with a headbutt to the DICK and the Sharpshooter. Liz runs out. Savage reversed the hold and now has a terrible Sharpshooter of his own. Bret got to the ropes. Liz argues with Piper. Bret hits a low blow and then hits Piper in the back of the head. Bret had something on his hand, but now Savage has it. Hogan comes out and attacks Macho's bad knee. This lets Bret put on the Sharpshooter. Savage taps out, even though the Sharpshooter is a move that is is hard on the back, not legs. Whatever.
The Outsiders vs The Giant/Sting WCW Tag Team Championships
This is weird because it is Wolfpac vs WCW/nWo Hollywood. Still isn't explained why Giant rejoined the nWo, but the announcers assumed it was because it was easier to get at Nash. This is the first time Hall has been around since sometime in March, I believe. Lol'd at Nash being announced at 7'4" when he was a LEGIT SHOOT 6'10". I don't even exaggerate that much for my dick. Survey time. Crowd is definitely there to see the nWo. Hall and Sting start out. Hall hits a short chokeslam and taunts Giant, but Sting comes back right away with two Stinger splashes. He goes for the Deathlock, but Nash tries to break it up. Sting and Giant run off the Outsiders. Then Nash and Giant get tagged in. Imagine a tag team championship match being the main event of a WWE PPV today. Lol. Nash dominates right away. Then Nash hits a big kick and elbow drop. Crowd doesn't really know how to react. Outsiders are still kind of heels, Giant is a full heel, and Sting is a face. Fans are chanting I believe for Hall, but I can't really tell. Sting gets tagged in and booted in the face from Nash. Hall hits the fall away slam. Nash comes back in and hits the snake eyes. Hall hits a lariat from the outside. Hall and Nash then double team repeatedly for a while on Sting. He's the only real face, so it makes sense for him to be the FIP. This is like a long Nitro main event. I'm drunk, but not s drunk as I was for Spring Stampede. Maybe I can contain all of my drinking just to WCW PPVs. Sting makes the tag. He goes to town on Nash. Leg drop! I guess that was a tribute to Hogan. He goes for a Superfly Splash, but misses. Nash goes to Jackknife Giant, but Hall hits Nash with one of the belts. SWERVE. Sting and Giant are the new tag champions, and Hall has joined Hogan. Sting just stood there emotionless as the show ended.
I'll never understand why guys don't turn on their partners at the start of the match. I mean, I get it from a booking stand point, but not a psychology stand point.
