So, my cat of 17 years has recently developed some kind of cancerous growth, and its right kidney is failing it. For the past six months he's been slowly degrading, exacerbated by an infection in his lower back caused by fighting one of the neighbour cats. I ended up paying a grand to have him go through surgery, which I'm super thankful gave him another half a year.
For the five months previous to this one, the cat seemed stable. He was happy, managed to kill a rat or two, ate well and was still as affectionate as he'd ever been. Unfortunately, almost instantly, he has stopped eating. It's been a week since this happened, and he is absolutely a shell of his former self. He's become so emaciated, he struggles to stay upright or even go to the bathroom outside.
We took him to the vet on Monday, and he stayed overnight. The vets tried to get a drip into him, to force the cat to absorb some nutrition. However, the vets reported that the cat was too unstable and "his veins collapsed" whenever they tried it (they attempted on his two paws and around his neck, it appears by the shaved fur).
Vet gave us some medicine, which is supposed to make the cat hungry or something. Sure enough after he had it, he at least -tried- to eat. He only had about a mouthful of fresh rabbit meat (we buy all our cat food from the butcher - healthier than buying canned stuff, and cats seem to love it), but at least it was something.
It's been two days since then, and it's hard to tell if he's improved. His breathing sounds absolutely ruined - very loud, deep breaths. This is only for about five minutes, and then he goes back to "normal", so I suspect he also has trouble with his lungs (possibly from the cancer growth?).
Tomorrow we'll have to decide if we're going to put him down. Even with him barely eating, the cat is doing terribly. He's only vaugely responsive to human contact, and has spent the entirety of the past two days laying on his side in a corner of the house. There is a very real possibility that he might freeze to death, as he has absolutely no body fat at all, and the Tasmanian nights are getting that much colder.
It's going to kill me to lose this cat. He's almost as old as me, and I can barely remember a time when he wasn't around. But, I think I have to make the hard decision to put him down. I'm giving him one more day. If he seems uncomfortable, if he seems like he won't recover, I think ethically I have to do this. I was lucky enough to give this thing another half a year of life, and maybe that's all I bought. I'm okay with that, I think.
Unfortunately I also have another, roughly 14-15 year old cat. So in a few years I'll get to relive this terrible fucking decision. And I don't think it will ever be easy. This cat isn't the first animal I've lost. Some ran away after moving, some were hit by cars. But not since I've had this cat, and 15-17 years is a looooong time, especially considering my thought process now compared to when I was 5 years old. It just feels like I'm losing a friend, someone so constant to my life that I can't actually imagine coming home a week from now and not seeing him on the doorstep or sleeping on my jacket.
I just have to know that I'm doing what's best for the cat. And I don't know if emotionally I can handle another week of uncertainty of, am I going to come home from uni or wake up in the morning and just have my cat dead in a corner.
Sorry to dump this on you, AusGAF. Just needed a place to document my thoughts.
