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AusGAF 6 - Ricki Lee is awful. Everything else about Australia is AMAZING [Free hugs]
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reptilescorpio
Member
Women love confident men. No need to be a dick and get mean though. Aloof works fine.
I think it's more that some guys will put the woman way up on the pedestal early on which unless she's some crazy narcissist is just going to weird her out. Some people accept the advice better as you've worded it though Choc.
A) Let's not generalise and claim that all girls go nuts when you treat them mean. Plenty will just think you're a fuckwad.
B) "If you give the girl the impression @ the start of the relationship that its no skin off your nose if it does not work, then she for some reason will fall crazily for you."
That's because it indicates both that you have confidence and are not a needy bitch.
B) "If you give the girl the impression @ the start of the relationship that its no skin off your nose if it does not work, then she for some reason will fall crazily for you."
That's because it indicates both that you have confidence and are not a needy bitch.
No major issues here. Sometimes, rarely though, you get a broken file but with par2s it's usually not a major issue repairing it.
I know some people suggest getting a data block from another usenet joint just as a backup incase astra is missing a file or two.
I prescribe to these both.... confidence has certainly goes a loooong way. Working for me at the moment.... I think.
not being a needy bitch is important
much more succinct way of putting it yes
confidence = key
therefore asking out in person > asking out on FB
Yep choc strikes again. Fred and Rep is what i meant really
i didnt mean be an arsehole to her (although that is exactly why you find the hottest babes with the most fuckwit blokes, seriously)
FallbackPants
Member
As everyone else has said that sucks leg. But we've all been there. Well I have at least. I chased one girl for months, had one chance early but missed it and fell straight into the friend zone. It's shit.
That said I'm glad we're friends, the reason I wanted to be with her in the first place was because she was so rad. And now I have a different, also fucking awesome, girlfriend. Chin up bro.
That said I'm glad we're friends, the reason I wanted to be with her in the first place was because she was so rad. And now I have a different, also fucking awesome, girlfriend. Chin up bro.
reptilescorpio
Member
Because they have had their own confidence destroyed by others which sucks. A lot of women out there that have been brainwashed into thinking they are less than they actually are.
Power is a fucked up thing and makes the world go round
roosters93
Member
lol
And you know you done fucked up when Andrew Bolt is on the right side of the debate (although he is still only for civil unions):
http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/andrewbolt/index.php/heraldsun/comments/katter_disgraces_himself/
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
I don't understand the "friend-zone" as a concept. It seems like such a cop-out, to me. Now, granted, I'm gay, so I'm only a spectator in these needlessly over-complicated girl-age scenarios.
It seems to me like, assuming you're one goal in life isn't "MUST BE IN RELATIONSHIP" (and you're therefore not pinning all your hopes and dreams on one person and becoming completely infatuated with them), that a friendship in this supposed "friend-zone" can survive the question "so, hey, look, if you're interested, do you want to grab dinner/go see a movie, just us?". If the answer is "yes", profit. If it's no, and this is important, it's not like you can't play it off as a "hey, that's cool. I think you're a great friend, let's keep it at that." And, hey, worst case scenario nothing even happens. Best-case scenario, you've performed some Inception-level shit and it eventually leads somewhere.
I think the friend-zone is basically a prerequisite. I don't understand zero to dating as a concept. Meeting someone with the express pretense of "I'm looking for someone to spend a significant portion of my life with in the long term, and fuck in the short-term". It just seems like such a shakey, unstable foundation for any relationship.
I don't even know why I typed this. I've been meaning to get it off my chest, it isn't even related directly to any experiences mentioned in this thread.
It seems to me like, assuming you're one goal in life isn't "MUST BE IN RELATIONSHIP" (and you're therefore not pinning all your hopes and dreams on one person and becoming completely infatuated with them), that a friendship in this supposed "friend-zone" can survive the question "so, hey, look, if you're interested, do you want to grab dinner/go see a movie, just us?". If the answer is "yes", profit. If it's no, and this is important, it's not like you can't play it off as a "hey, that's cool. I think you're a great friend, let's keep it at that." And, hey, worst case scenario nothing even happens. Best-case scenario, you've performed some Inception-level shit and it eventually leads somewhere.
I think the friend-zone is basically a prerequisite. I don't understand zero to dating as a concept. Meeting someone with the express pretense of "I'm looking for someone to spend a significant portion of my life with in the long term, and fuck in the short-term". It just seems like such a shakey, unstable foundation for any relationship.
I don't even know why I typed this. I've been meaning to get it off my chest, it isn't even related directly to any experiences mentioned in this thread.
Rez i completely agree. The friend zone is a cop out.
YOU KNOW YOURSELF if someone is a friend.
There is a girl at work who i get on with like a house on fire and we both know and agree that had we not been attached it probably would have worked. We are like best buds now.
But there are other girls who are my friends who i know i just couldn't go out with. Just personality etc you know what you like.
The friendzone is a cop out. I'm not saying don't be friends, but don't expect friendship to not be awkward afterwards.
and heres the thing, if you want a girl subconsiscuosly and you remain friends with them it will affect you. You will always think wow you know if only i do this or tha tor the other she'll like me.
She won't most likely (not always but most likely). Girls generally don't change like that except hollywood
case in point
my mate was infatuated with a girl at school for 4 years, they went out for a bit and it didn't work, but they remained friends and was still infatuated with her.
TWO WEEKS, LITERALLY TWO WEEKS after she got married and he got 'over' her or realised it wasn't going to happen, he walked into a club and met the girl of his fucking dreams who he is engaged to.
Seriously....
YOU KNOW YOURSELF if someone is a friend.
There is a girl at work who i get on with like a house on fire and we both know and agree that had we not been attached it probably would have worked. We are like best buds now.
But there are other girls who are my friends who i know i just couldn't go out with. Just personality etc you know what you like.
The friendzone is a cop out. I'm not saying don't be friends, but don't expect friendship to not be awkward afterwards.
and heres the thing, if you want a girl subconsiscuosly and you remain friends with them it will affect you. You will always think wow you know if only i do this or tha tor the other she'll like me.
She won't most likely (not always but most likely). Girls generally don't change like that except hollywood
case in point
my mate was infatuated with a girl at school for 4 years, they went out for a bit and it didn't work, but they remained friends and was still infatuated with her.
TWO WEEKS, LITERALLY TWO WEEKS after she got married and he got 'over' her or realised it wasn't going to happen, he walked into a club and met the girl of his fucking dreams who he is engaged to.
Seriously....
The 'friend zone' is really just a synonym for unrequited feelings. When people talk about the 'friend zone' they're not talking about the step BEFORE the questions of dating and taking it further and whatever are asked. It's when that's sorta happened and one party is clear they 'just want to be friends.'
It is a bizarre sensation to agree with Andrew Bolt. His readers aren't so lucky:
The second time I've done this today, but comment sections really are uniquely alarming places.
Something something bastard something something.
reptilescorpio
Member
Friend zone makes no sense yet seems to exist exactly as we say. Been there with a few girls and it never led anywhere other than just being a friend. Main problem with that is if you are hanging out with someone of the opposite sex all the time then it is much less likely that someone who would want to give a relationship a shot with you will step up because of the closed off situation with you and the friend zone chick.
A good life partner is someone who is you best friend but also wants to spend ALL their time with you, not just the good times. You need to both want to be there for each other and share life together. Which includes intimacy.
A good life partner is someone who is you best friend but also wants to spend ALL their time with you, not just the good times. You need to both want to be there for each other and share life together. Which includes intimacy.
shanshan310
Member
I'm with you Rez. Seems weird to date someone without getting to know them first. They should grow naturally. Do people really date other people for the sake of being seen as someone with a date? The friendzone to me seems like a silly concept made up by "nice guys" to justify/ complain about why they haven't got a girlfriend. When I befriend people I see it as a positive. If being friends with someone to you means being in horrible limbo, or being "lead on" by some girl who is not interested in you sexually, I think you're doing friendship wrong.
I don't know about the first part =/
But I guess the second part is true, for guys as well. You get too needy at the beginning you scare them away.
As a side note, some Korean guy started talking to me at the bank, and ended up asking to add me on facebook. That's confidence yo.
I don't know about the first part =/
But I guess the second part is true, for guys as well. You get too needy at the beginning you scare them away.
As a side note, some Korean guy started talking to me at the bank, and ended up asking to add me on facebook. That's confidence yo.
You know what kind of sucks? Not liking anyone. There is literally no one I know currently who I want to have a relationship with.
And friendzone definitely exists. It's just a way to say a girl doesn't reciprocate romantic feelings. That kind of sucks if you like someone as more than friends but they don't. Some guys get hung up about it, others don't.
And friendzone definitely exists. It's just a way to say a girl doesn't reciprocate romantic feelings. That kind of sucks if you like someone as more than friends but they don't. Some guys get hung up about it, others don't.
reptilescorpio
Member
Legend summed up friend zone well. It is the time AFTER you are friends with someone and you announce your undying love for them and they avert their eyes and rub their neck and say "yeahhhhhhh I think we should just be friends, k?". As in your future with that person has been put in the forever friend zone. Mainly applys when the other person continues to lightly flirt to keep the rejected party interested.
There are places on the internet where you do not check the comments section. All newspapers. Kotaku US. Youtube.
possibly not you shan or maybe you haven't realised it yet
but
ever since i got married, the female interaction and 'attention' in terms of chatting and getting along with females has been crazy. I regularly get asked to do things with my female friends now and even their friends.
its because the brick wall girls tend to put up when first talking to a guy completely disappears. It's kinda ashame
There's a pretty easy way to suss a girl out somewhat. If she realises you seem interested and she isn't she will drop the 'my boyfriend line' even if she doesn't have one. Works every time!
edit: Before we get called sexists, i've friend zoned a girl before. It works both ways. If there is zero attraction you cannot help it can you?
but
ever since i got married, the female interaction and 'attention' in terms of chatting and getting along with females has been crazy. I regularly get asked to do things with my female friends now and even their friends.
its because the brick wall girls tend to put up when first talking to a guy completely disappears. It's kinda ashame
There's a pretty easy way to suss a girl out somewhat. If she realises you seem interested and she isn't she will drop the 'my boyfriend line' even if she doesn't have one. Works every time!
edit: Before we get called sexists, i've friend zoned a girl before. It works both ways. If there is zero attraction you cannot help it can you?
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
the other obvious thing that almost definitely leads to some of my confusion here is that the amount of completely platonic relationships I have with people of the gender I'm attracted to is probably SIGNIFICANTLY higher than the amount of platonic relationships your standard straight guy has with women in any given time period. I'm so desensitized to it. It takes not only an interest from me, but also the definite expression of interest in return before even the teensiest bit of complete infatuation creeps in.
you may be misinterpreting this. I can't speak for all women, but, anecdotally, all the females in my life love have male relationships in their lives that are sexually defused. If you have a ring on your finger, for many that's as good as saying "I'm gay". You're off-the-market, you're not going to try and hit on them, you can safely be a friend.possibly not you shan or maybe you haven't realised it yet
but
ever since i got married, the female interaction and 'attention' in terms of chatting and getting along with females has been crazy. I regularly get asked to do things with my female friends now and even their friends.
its because the brick wall girls tend to put up when first talking to a guy completely disappears. It's kinda ashame
There's a pretty easy way to suss a girl out somewhat. If she realises you seem interested and she isn't she will drop the 'my boyfriend line' even if she doesn't have one. Works every time!
edit: Before we get called sexists, i've friend zoned a girl before. It works both ways. If there is zero attraction you cannot help it can you?
I don't think anyone actually goes from zero to dating unless you both feel some sort of amazing connection.
You go out on a few dates and hang out for a little while, If the feeling is still there then it becomes dating.
Friend zone is when you meet someone without the implicit idea of asking them straight out on a date. After a small period of time you realise you get along like a house on fire and that's when it becomes in your mind that it could be more than friends. However if the other person isn't giving you that feeling back then you're in the friend zone buddy.
You go out on a few dates and hang out for a little while, If the feeling is still there then it becomes dating.
Friend zone is when you meet someone without the implicit idea of asking them straight out on a date. After a small period of time you realise you get along like a house on fire and that's when it becomes in your mind that it could be more than friends. However if the other person isn't giving you that feeling back then you're in the friend zone buddy.
No doubt. What im saying is that without that, females put up MASSIVE brick walls that you need to break down. We've all had it done to us
Rez, on your points about platonic relationships, (and please don't take this the wrong way)
1) Do you think its possibly because you can't assume a guy is gay? and so you need to dig a bit to see what the go is?
2) Guys tend to assume girls are not gay and so assume they want a man. That's possibly why guys can just jump into asking a girl out?
I imagine with being gay, that can be more difficult? (unless you are at a group or location where you know everyone is gay)?
edit: also fwiw, a friend who is a girl told me about the 'want what they can't have' scenario. Apparently its pretty common amongst females. So it wasn't me just going on a tangent.
no thats when it becomes a relationship which is exclusive
you can date many girls @ once (i dont mean 'cheating' i mean dating). So Fri you might see one girl, on the weekend another
until you get to the relationship factor there is no exclusivity (and that works both sides, my wife dated other guys in the early times when we dated). I had zero issue with it because i figured if she wanted me, it was going to happen.
shanshan310
Member
It doesn't feel like people use it that way. In fact, quite often there is an insinuated blame on the part of the girl. "She friendzoned me" etc.
possibly not you shan or maybe you haven't realised it yet
hm... I guess because knowing that a man is taken is really a sign that I should back off a bit I hadn't thought about it being a turn on or anything.
Actually reading what rez has posted:
This is more the feeling I get. Can't speak for all women though. Plus I don't know any married guys who are also my friends =/
Insinuated blame? It is what it is, if you get "friendzoned" that's just what happens...
For me anyway it's never been a bad thing, I'm happy to be friends with anyone but you try and move on.
and in one foul swoop, vook proves my points
Seriously, she rang me up the day after I changed my relationship status on Facebook and was like 'So what's happening, I've got this and this and this'. She even proclaimed she had a new double bed instead of a single.... o-0
A month before 'I'm not sure if I want a BF, I just want to be friends'.
shanshan310
Member
What the crap. Some girls man *shaking my head*
Eeeh, just as an anecdotal point, a few days ago I was talking to a friend about another good friend of mine, and he said "man, you friendzoned that guy so bad. You're so cruel", when this guy had never ever tried to hit on me or ask me out, and I have considered him one of my best friends for a long time. To hear someone say that I had done something cruel by being his friend felt really wrong. Getting friendzoned (a negative thing) tends to imply that someone committed a negative act towards you, which often isn't really the case.
Eeeh, just as an anecdotal point, a few days ago I was talking to a friend about another good friend of mine, and he said "man, you friendzoned that guy so bad. You're so cruel", when this guy had never ever tried to hit on me or ask me out, and I have considered him one of my best friends for a long time. To hear someone say that I had done something cruel by being his friend felt really wrong. Getting friendzoned (a negative thing) tends to imply that someone committed a negative act towards you, which often isn't really the case.
Not completely. I was out friday night and overheard some trashy girl asking a guy, excitedly, if he was gay (incidentally, he isn't) and if so she was claiming him and they'd go shopping together and it'd be great. Apart from making me want to throw myself off a tall structure, it proves that in some cases the gay-male-as-accessory thing really isn't just a horrifying joke.
I'm posting this here and not the gay thread because this thread doesn't make me cringe.
I don't need anyone to tell me how to feel about a particular musician or audio album! I can make my own decisions!
yes
Well, as long as you don't hate me for that going to that festival AND seeing Aril Brikha live AND Aphex Twin/New Order at sideshows in the space of a little over a week, I can handle it. FWIW I did get a tiny bit burnt, but only on my left arm and I think it's gone now anyway.
It was pretty awesome. See my previous posts for most of my impressions. Die Antwoord were probably the biggest surprise of the day for going (in my mind) from novelty act to surprisingly talented artists. Alex Metric was also awesome. Local talent was surprisingly absent from the proceedings, with very few decent looking birds there. Perhaps they've all matured and stopped doing this festival thing
Girls can't have me because I never go out and socialise*. I don't see them swarming all over me when I DO leave the house
*
This is false. I socialise like a motherfucker. But they still don't swarm all over me
Yeah, that's fairly shit. I think genuine friendzoning is when a girl knocks a guy back but is still flirty to the point of indicating interest, thereby keeping any lingering feelings in the guy's head from becoming extinguished and the friendship continuing on as normal. Basically like a security blanket. Sounds like the guy was completely misinterpreting your behaviour as interest, but being friendzoned usually means being knocked back (from dating, not friendship). In this case, just sounds like the guy was trying to talk up his efforts with you to his mate to try and make it sound like he'd not just done nothing.
^ real friendship
Which is dating.
Going out on one or two dates isn't dating, that's testing the waters as you mentioned.
what the fuck?
o_0
dating, is dating. Relationship is bf gf
WTF
if you are 'dating' someone you are not in a relationship with them
reptilescorpio
Member
Distinction smersninction. Dating or going out or testing the waters. All that matters is the moment if exclusively being a couple.
On a whim, I decided to check the list of NBN rollout sites on the NBN Co. website, and discovered something unexpected:
Can't wait for the day I can ditch ~7Mbit/384Kbit ADSL for 100Mbit/40Mbit FTTH.
For some stupid reason Tamworth is Wireless NBN.
People in Durka are bitching about it and trying to get them to change it to fiber.
Which would be good for the town.
reptilescorpio
Member
What did I miss?
What? A relationship is dating. There is no difference between the two. What the fuck did you do with your wife before you were married?
Hi this is <wife name>
Oh how long have you two been dating for?
7 months so far.
How many times did you get asked that question In your relationship? A shitload I imagine. Others could have asked how long you have been in a relationship for. It's the same damn thing.
Those I can kinda accept as they are interlude bits, but the shooting sections are just awful and the vacant empty feeling you get in the buildings and such is just off putting.
It is just not a very good game.
IMO.
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