Best of luck, Scorcho. [Sadly passed. RIP, Scorcho.]
- Thread starter The Librarian
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I NEED SCISSORS
Banned
I've not posted in any of your threads Scorcho, but i'll say a little prayer in the hope you pull through. It's both the least and the most I can do - "fuck cancer" as they say.
I needed a pick me up today, and reading the responses here has helped. THANK YOU AND KEEP EM COMING! 
Since it's become a process to leave my home, a friend stopped by to help me to yesterday's appointment. I woke up at 4am this morning to a thoughtful, but emotional email from her about how she nearly had a breakdown hearing me talk with my doctor so frankly about the tumors, the size and location and, in a roundabout way, what to expect at the end. She said I had a crushed look on my face, but I expected the news and nothing of what he said felt new. Don't know why she didn't talk about it with me for the six or so hours she stayed once we came back from the appointment.
Regardless, it was better to have her there than my mom. She wouldn't be able to handle that conversation. I once tried discussing a recommendation for a lawyer and how to transfer my finances over to her once I pass and she flipped out at me for not 'thinking positive enough.' Then she pinpointed my constant pain to the amount of coffee I drink each day and I tuned out of the conversation.
She's not taking this well.
So getting back to the doctor's message if this pill fails -
On the plus side: a whole lot of morphine.
On the negative side: a whole lot of morphine, death.
There are other chemos we could try, but with even lesser probabilities of good outcomes. Unless a new experimental treatment comes out that I can reasonably travel to, this treatment will be my last stand. I don't have the energy to endure this punishment anymore. And, if there's the possibility of an afterlife and some spirit realm, I'd like to follow Stacey Dash for a day or two.
So I took the first pill last night. It was the very definition of a non-event. I opened this $10,000 bottle of cheap plastic, surveyed 30 or so cheap looking pills, picked the one I thought Steve Jobs would find the nicest looking, and downed it with some coffee. I have felt no different. My sleep is still haphazard with painful mornings.
I'm still imagining shrinking testicles, prunes and Al Sharpton.
Since it's become a process to leave my home, a friend stopped by to help me to yesterday's appointment. I woke up at 4am this morning to a thoughtful, but emotional email from her about how she nearly had a breakdown hearing me talk with my doctor so frankly about the tumors, the size and location and, in a roundabout way, what to expect at the end. She said I had a crushed look on my face, but I expected the news and nothing of what he said felt new. Don't know why she didn't talk about it with me for the six or so hours she stayed once we came back from the appointment.
Regardless, it was better to have her there than my mom. She wouldn't be able to handle that conversation. I once tried discussing a recommendation for a lawyer and how to transfer my finances over to her once I pass and she flipped out at me for not 'thinking positive enough.' Then she pinpointed my constant pain to the amount of coffee I drink each day and I tuned out of the conversation.
She's not taking this well.
So getting back to the doctor's message if this pill fails -
On the plus side: a whole lot of morphine.
On the negative side: a whole lot of morphine, death.
There are other chemos we could try, but with even lesser probabilities of good outcomes. Unless a new experimental treatment comes out that I can reasonably travel to, this treatment will be my last stand. I don't have the energy to endure this punishment anymore. And, if there's the possibility of an afterlife and some spirit realm, I'd like to follow Stacey Dash for a day or two.
So I took the first pill last night. It was the very definition of a non-event. I opened this $10,000 bottle of cheap plastic, surveyed 30 or so cheap looking pills, picked the one I thought Steve Jobs would find the nicest looking, and downed it with some coffee. I have felt no different. My sleep is still haphazard with painful mornings.
I'm still imagining shrinking testicles, prunes and Al Sharpton.
Peterthumpa
Member
Paraphrasing a Foo Fighters' song... "It's times like these we learn to live again".
And here I'm foolish thinking that my life has big and unsolvable problems...
Keep it up buddy, I really wish you the best.
And here I'm foolish thinking that my life has big and unsolvable problems...
Keep it up buddy, I really wish you the best.
Wuthering_Heights
Banned
Good luck, man.
Hoping for the best.
Hoping for the best.
Scorcho, I don't know you. You don't know me. I generally lurk on GAF. But I truly, sincerely admire the peace and contentment you seem to have found in what's an unimaginably tough situation.
You're keeping your head on straight while dealing with the turbulent currents of the universe. And if that isn't admirable, I don't know what the fuck is.
Please keep us all updated.
You're keeping your head on straight while dealing with the turbulent currents of the universe. And if that isn't admirable, I don't know what the fuck is.
Please keep us all updated.
And you're the only one I want in front, big boy.
I really could use a full body massage. A legit massage. Don't let the avatar or tag fool you. (thanks Bish!)
The last few days have been mostly positive, at least from a quality of life standpoint. I'm taking the chemo pill nightly while my body continues to heal from the previously destructive chemo. The prescribed morphine has been highly effective at stunting the random aches and pains that have gotten worse since my body grew resistant to Oxycodone. The flip side is that it's getting harder to fight off the nods even as I type this. That last sentence took nearly 10 minutes to type and I lifted my head to a puddle of drool, a screen full of dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddds, and the realization that I just got high.
Finding the right dosage should be easy using the dispenser syringe the pharmacist provides. Step 1: stop using it as a chaser to my morning Bloody Mary.
CyclopsRock
Member
All the best, my man!
Willkiller
Banned
All the best man!
Steve o 3000
Banned
I wish you the best, Scorcho!
Whatever happens (and you never know) I sincerely wish you the least discomfort and pain possible during your treatment. Never been through it myself but I know treating cancer can be really unpleasant. Stay strong bro! And enjoy that morphine.
krypt0nian
Banned
Thought of you this morning when my nuts were shriveled up. It's FREEZING here in Chicago!
Nizz
Member
I hear that!
Keep fighting dude.Auron_Kale
Member
Great to hear that you're at least feeling better.
Keep it up and best of luck to you!
Keep it up and best of luck to you!
Thanks for the updates, Scorcho. And please - keep writing, to the extent that you can. I think it's important.
I'm near tears reading your posts, both because of what you are going through and because my mom went through a similar arc a few years ago. May your trajectory pull up.
I'm near tears reading your posts, both because of what you are going through and because my mom went through a similar arc a few years ago. May your trajectory pull up.
BigGreenMat
Member
I can only imagine what you are going through and I haven't interacted with you much, but I just wanted to add my best wishes. You are inspiring and I look forward to good news.
Hi all. Update of sorts. This chemo is sapping every bit of energy out of my body, to the point where, for hours, I'll sit upright in the nook of my L shaped couch and doze in and out of sleep.
This is the cruelty of my existence right now - due to the various tumors peppering my torso I can lay down in only a few positions where I can actually breathe. Because my whole body aches from sleeplessness, none of these positions are comfortable. To compensate I load up on pain killers. This, in turn, makes me more tired. Add, rinse, repeat. While this particular chemo doesn't cause the same type of muscle pain as the previous treatment, the cumulative lack of sleep and the resulting body soreness makes my overall miserableness the same.
I've had friends stop by to make sure that I don't just pass out alone without nutrients for the entire day, and I'm thankful to have that. I can't imagine how they must feel watching me struggle to sleep for the 30 or so minutes I eventually do.
The girlfriend will be back in town this weekend, staying over for the weekend. Hopefully this won't be the last time I see her. Hopefully.
Sorry if this lacks any of the scorcho snazz found in previous entries. I'm too tired to think anything up. See? Even scorcho snazz looks bleak and I spent a solid 10 minutes looking hard at that phrase before hitting submit.
This is the cruelty of my existence right now - due to the various tumors peppering my torso I can lay down in only a few positions where I can actually breathe. Because my whole body aches from sleeplessness, none of these positions are comfortable. To compensate I load up on pain killers. This, in turn, makes me more tired. Add, rinse, repeat. While this particular chemo doesn't cause the same type of muscle pain as the previous treatment, the cumulative lack of sleep and the resulting body soreness makes my overall miserableness the same.
I've had friends stop by to make sure that I don't just pass out alone without nutrients for the entire day, and I'm thankful to have that. I can't imagine how they must feel watching me struggle to sleep for the 30 or so minutes I eventually do.
The girlfriend will be back in town this weekend, staying over for the weekend. Hopefully this won't be the last time I see her. Hopefully.
Sorry if this lacks any of the scorcho snazz found in previous entries. I'm too tired to think anything up. See? Even scorcho snazz looks bleak and I spent a solid 10 minutes looking hard at that phrase before hitting submit.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Hang in there, Scorcho. Gaf is here for you. We will keep you entertained while you rest up, so keep fighting!
I'm tired of this already. I'm contemplating calling it quits once my girlfriend leaves this weekend. Don't know if I should tell her or not. It's something we've discussed in the past and she's expressed her position.
Ultimately, it's mine. And at this moment I can't see how I can let this go on that much longer.
Ultimately, it's mine. And at this moment I can't see how I can let this go on that much longer.
Odious Tea
Member
Just know that we're all rooting for you. I'm not sure how much that means, considering that we're basically all strangers sitting in front of keyboards at various places around the world so it's hard to feel the tangible effects of it. But if nothing else, think of your girlfriend. Be there for her while you can.
I'm sure she wants you around and will cherish every moment, regardless of how hard it is.
I'm sure she wants you around and will cherish every moment, regardless of how hard it is.
AlimNassor
Banned
But in the end it is his call, and if it's becoming an impossible hurdle, what more can he do? It's a difficult situation.
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