I don't if you'll see this, but good luck and keep it up. The sentiments in this thread are crystal indication your magnificent struggle is an inspiration to us all.NoNever got close to Kofi.
i should have gone back to finish my masters International Affairs after first taking medical leave. I only have my thesis to finish.
I don't think staying around is weak at all. You're facing a tough enemy, to fight at all is not the mark of a weak person. Please keep fighting.
^This. Hang in there. Don't ever go quietly.
I'll talk to her this weekend about it, although I might not. For all of you saying I'm brave, I'm really not. To be brave I would've ended my life eons ago. To endure like this, to lose a sense of my own humanity - this is weak. I'm too afraid to die suddenly so I've allowed my quality of life to slowly slip away to where it is now. So no, I don't consider myself brave. Far from it. I'm complacent.
Scorcho, have you tried feeding yourself pizza?
hang in there, buddy!
seriously?
seriously?
Scorcho, have you tried feeding yourself pizza?
hang in there, buddy!
Just trying to be light hearted, man.
Hi all. Typing in from 'infinitely weak area.' My mom noticed the horrible condition i was in this morning - I barely slept - and took the day off to make sure i didn't just whither away between the folds in my couch. Em will be here in a few hours, but I haven't focused on that at all. Since last night it has been an even larger burden to breathe, and I've reached out to my oncologist as to whether I should temporarily stop the chemo while he awaits blood results to maximize el cancerino's exposure to the treatment.
i don't know that it's working. i pray that it is, fear that it isn't. breathing continues to be a chore, but i'm able to lay down in more positions. i've finally bit the bullet and took a full medial leave this time, though i'm not sure whether i should ask for a 3 or 6 month time limit at this point...
I've also looked into hospice care, as the oxygen deprivation i'll increasingly face will lead to a very painful, claustrophobic death. My sister has worked as a hospice nurse on occasion. I'll try to suss out her opinion this weekend.
Just trying to be light hearted, man.
Just trying to be light hearted, man.
This may also sound cheesey, but Scorcho I am sending you positive energy/prayer/mojo what ever you want to call it. You are in my and gaf's thougths.
Hi all. Typing in from 'infinitely weak area.' My mom noticed the horrible condition i was in this morning - I barely slept - and took the day off to make sure i didn't just whither away between the folds in my couch. Em will be here in a few hours, but I haven't focused on that at all. Since last night it has been an even larger burden to breathe, and I've reached out to my oncologist as to whether I should temporarily stop the chemo while he awaits blood results to maximize el cancerino's exposure to the treatment.
i don't know that it's working. i pray that it is, fear that it isn't. breathing continues to be a chore, but i'm able to lay down in more positions. i've finally bit the bullet and took a full medial leave this time, though i'm not sure whether i should ask for a 3 or 6 month time limit at this point...
I've also looked into hospice care, as the oxygen deprivation i'll increasingly face will lead to a very painful, claustrophobic death. My sister has worked as a hospice nurse on occasion. I'll try to suss out her opinion this weekend.
i understand the pizza meme, just thought it was callous to bring into this conversation considering its tone. thanks to the mod that reacted. ultimately that poster is the big winner anyhow. he got off a line that made him chuckle, and he can go back at to his post anytime once i'm gone and yuck it up then.
so i've also been guilty of crying wolf one too many times over the last few months when it came to my body's reactions to various chemos and how close i've been to death. to bolster my case a bit, i don't really know where that line is, and my body has discovered some impressive ways to register and absorb pain. the last few days i've felt those same 'take me now' emotions and i'm trying desperately to fight them. i wrote my doctor about the aches and he recommends i skip one night to see how i feel. i suppose that's the logical answer, but doesn't give the cancer mutation cells ninja bonus time to devise its counter? shouldn't i just push forward as hard as possible to that absolute brink where i am about to die?
i don't think i'm there quite yet. i checked my temperature to make sure i wasn't facing a fever (96.7), and my mom just enough calories down my gullet to give me the energy to stand about and walk a bit. still, i'm exhausted and i have to remind myself to take a deep breath to stretch out my back/lungs and to maintain a steady oxygen flow.
i don't know how often i'll post here going forward. i want to, but each day i'm finding it harder to concentrate on a post without nodding out. i've really appreciated everyone's support and kindness; it's pulled me out from the darkness on more than one occasion when i had no one else around.
I'm sure you don't know me, but I've been following this thread and I find your posts very inspiring. I think the question to continue with the chemo or not is up to you, and you alone. If your body can take it, I think it would make sense to at least finish the chemo, but thats just my opinion.
All the best. You seem like a really cool guy.
i understand the pizza meme, just thought it was callous to bring into this conversation considering its tone. thanks to the mod that reacted. ultimately that poster is the big winner anyhow. he got off a line that made him chuckle, and he can go back at to his post anytime once i'm gone and yuck it up then.
so i've also been guilty of crying wolf one too many times over the last few months when it came to my body's reactions to various chemos and how close i've been to death. to bolster my case a bit, i don't really know where that line is, and my body has discovered some impressive ways to register and absorb pain. the last few days i've felt those same 'take me now' emotions and i'm trying desperately to fight them. i wrote my doctor about the aches and he recommends i skip one night to see how i feel. i suppose that's the logical answer, but doesn't give the cancer mutation cells ninja bonus time to devise its counter? shouldn't i just push forward as hard as possible to that absolute brink where i am about to die?
i don't think i'm there quite yet. i checked my temperature to make sure i wasn't facing a fever (96.7), and my mom just enough calories down my gullet to give me the energy to stand about and walk a bit. still, i'm exhausted and i have to remind myself to take a deep breath to stretch out my back/lungs and to maintain a steady oxygen flow.
i don't know how often i'll post here going forward. i want to, but each day i'm finding it harder to concentrate on a post without nodding out. i've really appreciated everyone's support and kindness; it's pulled me out from the darkness on more than one occasion when i had no one else around.
Thanks. I want to eventually go back on the chemo, but I most certainly want to find out tonight whether skipping a dosage alleviates any of the side effects that have built up over the last 10 days.
well, my oncologist gave me the okay to stay off the pill temporarily and await some blood tests to come back before restarting treatment next Tuesday. ideally the side effects leave faster than it took to build up.
well, my oncologist gave me the okay to stay off the pill temporarily and await some blood tests to come back before restarting treatment next Tuesday. ideally the side effects leave faster than it took to build up.