No problem!
You don't go right up to talk to her. There are some candles on the ground at the foot of her throne where you kneel and then join the Vilebloods and she'll give you the Cainhurst Badge. You can always wait until this point to get the Wheel badge as well.
Thanks (and thanks poster above). I didn't do that
Was trying to go as guideless as possible on my first run, but not bowing was just a user error.