Brie Larson Stars in New Metroid Dread Ad
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DevilMayFlyForAWhiteGuy
Member
NOA master plan:
Step 1): Advertise new Metroid game to it's actual core audience, male gamers, who will appreciate it's challenging gameplay and design, and Stoic badass protagonist.
Step 2): After it's sold a bunch get Brie Larson involved, then start playing on the feminism angle. Start claiming 50% or more sales are from women. Brie Larson starts saying things about how Metroid isn't for white men anymore or something.
Step 3): To support said claims, they use the touch screen on the Switch to scan every players' fingerprints. Said fingerprints will be cross referenced with Facebook and Google's databases to find which players are male. Said players will have their digital licenses revoked and refunds will be denied. If they bought physical, a firmware patch will brick their system. This way all the sales reported will show 100% of playtime was by women.
Step 4): Give Brie Larson millions in advertising from the game's profits. Mission accomplished. The patriarchy is no more.
We're currently in step 2.
If it wasn't obvious I'm just fuckin around don't take this too seriously guys
Step 1): Advertise new Metroid game to it's actual core audience, male gamers, who will appreciate it's challenging gameplay and design, and Stoic badass protagonist.
Step 2): After it's sold a bunch get Brie Larson involved, then start playing on the feminism angle. Start claiming 50% or more sales are from women. Brie Larson starts saying things about how Metroid isn't for white men anymore or something.
Step 3): To support said claims, they use the touch screen on the Switch to scan every players' fingerprints. Said fingerprints will be cross referenced with Facebook and Google's databases to find which players are male. Said players will have their digital licenses revoked and refunds will be denied. If they bought physical, a firmware patch will brick their system. This way all the sales reported will show 100% of playtime was by women.
Step 4): Give Brie Larson millions in advertising from the game's profits. Mission accomplished. The patriarchy is no more.
We're currently in step 2.
If it wasn't obvious I'm just fuckin around don't take this too seriously guys
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Lord Panda
The Sea is Always Right
You know, Brie would actually be a decent Samus. As long as she kept the helmet on, and had minimal or non existent dialogue.
brian0057
Banned
Thermonuclear take.
And one that I honestly agree with.
To be fair, she's a really good actress. She was great in Room.
It just seems that she can't shut the fuck up when off script.
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Swift_Star
Banned
She's cool and this is cool.
Who cares about the haters?
Who cares about the haters?
plushyp
Member
Evil Calvin
Afraid of Boobs
Yeah, I don't get the hate. She's promoting the game and has always been into games ( and she's in Scott Pilgrim........so that's great too! )
Saucy Papi
Member
funkygunther
Banned
Deerock71
Very Poor Hoice of Wor
I always thought Charlize Theron would be perfect.
Sorcerer
Member
Gotcha, I was just looking at the tags. Thanx!!!
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TLZ
Banned
Insane Metal
Member
The female hero Nintendo fans deserve.
Oddvintagechap
Banned
90% of them dont know how to interact with women. So they have circle jerks on the internet.
Banjo64
cumsessed
She's got vulture talons.
Skifi28
Member
How does one interact with what you call women? Is there a specific social ritual?90% of them dont know how to interact with women. So they have circle jerks on the internet.
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Mister Wolf
Member
Hopefully Nintendo never does a live action Metroid movie.
Huevos de Oro
Member
She's a beautiful woman. Every single one of you motherfuckers feigning disgust at her uggo feet would be sucking on those toes while jerking off and fingering yourselves if you had the chance.
Back before Captain Marvel released she said she wanted to see more women invited to press junkets and that she didn't care what a 40 year old white guy thought about a movie made for kids starring a little black girl. That triggered the chuds on YouTube to begin a 24/7 hate campaign against her that got to the point where Disney had to station 24/7 studio security at her house.
jufonuk
not tag worthy
Huevos de Oro
Member
TheInfamousKira
Reseterror Resettler
Holy shit, the Larson simps are almost as cringe as the haters. There's a line between SHE'S THE UGLIEST, MOST WOKE, TALENTLESS ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD and U GUYZ NEVER SMELT COOCH B4 HAHA FUKN VIRGNIS.
Like, my dudes. Scoring chicks isn't some ritual where we all have to rhythmically denounce the patriarchy whilst spinning in circles and fanning our vibrant tail plumage. The vast majority of common women will give it up if you buy them some shit at Wendy's and then talk about how hot their best friend was when you were plowing them on the couch last night. If the majority of men are dumbasses, the corollary is that the majority of women are dumbasses, too.
I actually thought Captain Marvel was the best out of the Marvel trite I've watched.
Brie isn't too bad.
But she does look like she feeds pitbulls with her feet for a living.
Like, my dudes. Scoring chicks isn't some ritual where we all have to rhythmically denounce the patriarchy whilst spinning in circles and fanning our vibrant tail plumage. The vast majority of common women will give it up if you buy them some shit at Wendy's and then talk about how hot their best friend was when you were plowing them on the couch last night. If the majority of men are dumbasses, the corollary is that the majority of women are dumbasses, too.
I actually thought Captain Marvel was the best out of the Marvel trite I've watched.
Brie isn't too bad.
But she does look like she feeds pitbulls with her feet for a living.
Is this meant to be an "as opposed to the average consumer. . ." because. . .hooboy.
WitchHunter
Banned
Yeah, for a sum, you'll wear pink sandals.
So if you advertise pink sandals you have always been into pink sandals?
balls of snow
Member
Too bad he offed himself but Robin Williams wouldve been a better spokesperson to the masses. Could even bring his daughter along.
Impotaku
Member
Celebs need to learn to stay in their lane. Doesn't matter if it's rappers, sports celebs, or movie stars like old fungus feet herself don't give a toss you share the same hobby as the rest of us.
It was like when animal crossing came out on switch and all of a sudden they all came out of the woodwork to tell the world they were playing it and they were cool gamers. reeked of "hey there fellow kids" meme. Having celebs advertise gaming has the opposite effect, find it cringy as fuck. It was just as bad in the DS era for celeb endosements.
It was like when animal crossing came out on switch and all of a sudden they all came out of the woodwork to tell the world they were playing it and they were cool gamers. reeked of "hey there fellow kids" meme. Having celebs advertise gaming has the opposite effect, find it cringy as fuck. It was just as bad in the DS era for celeb endosements.
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Isa
Member
Great ass!?!? I guess if you had no alternative.
Nah, I'd take my chances elsewhere. I know men's biker leather isn't exactly going to look great in enhancing the feminine form but good god. I respect her attempts at improving it through working out though.
I don't "hate" her or anything, I have no interest in superheroes but after seeing her IRL character during interviews she wasn't the most likable person and the other actors were clearly peeved by her. For example, instead of having fun recollections of filming the movie and character design etc, she just went on about the usual intersectional jargon of the time. It got old real quick.
I don't hate Nintendo, people have been using celebs for some time regardless of the individual's opinion of said persona. I do feel they could have chosen better however. Hell there are a ton of amateur cosplayers I would have given the chance to shine, and plenty more gamer girls who could've been offered the chance, and probably for much less lol. I say give them a chance to shine. I personally feel nearly all current actors and actresses are quite poor at the art. I prefer most film and show prior to these last few decades. Same thing for vocalists. Most people these days can't sing for shit. Its all heavily edited. Coupled with the piss-poor lyrics and I can't help but be repulsed by most modern "art".
And finally, where I live everyone I know says OLED(Oh-led). The last I heard an American spell something out that isn't some federal branch or body would be the NES or SNES. And even then there were those who just say the whole thing in one go. Most just say Super Nintendo though. Thankfully Switch hasn't had any issues, well until now apparently.
Nah, I'd take my chances elsewhere. I know men's biker leather isn't exactly going to look great in enhancing the feminine form but good god. I respect her attempts at improving it through working out though.
I don't "hate" her or anything, I have no interest in superheroes but after seeing her IRL character during interviews she wasn't the most likable person and the other actors were clearly peeved by her. For example, instead of having fun recollections of filming the movie and character design etc, she just went on about the usual intersectional jargon of the time. It got old real quick.
I don't hate Nintendo, people have been using celebs for some time regardless of the individual's opinion of said persona. I do feel they could have chosen better however. Hell there are a ton of amateur cosplayers I would have given the chance to shine, and plenty more gamer girls who could've been offered the chance, and probably for much less lol. I say give them a chance to shine. I personally feel nearly all current actors and actresses are quite poor at the art. I prefer most film and show prior to these last few decades. Same thing for vocalists. Most people these days can't sing for shit. Its all heavily edited. Coupled with the piss-poor lyrics and I can't help but be repulsed by most modern "art".
And finally, where I live everyone I know says OLED(Oh-led). The last I heard an American spell something out that isn't some federal branch or body would be the NES or SNES. And even then there were those who just say the whole thing in one go. Most just say Super Nintendo though. Thankfully Switch hasn't had any issues, well until now apparently.
Huevos de Oro
Member
I think I just became gay after seeing that dude's ass. That's it I'm gay now.
S
SpongebobSquaredance
Unconfirmed Member
what's exactly so shocking and funny about this?
Impotaku
Member
She isn't going to fuck you dude, no matter how hard you simp for her.
She's always been into Nintendo and specifically Samus and Animal Crossing.
She went as Zero Suit Samus for Halloween back in 2018 before the YouTube hate campaign really kicked into gear:
Last year she launched a YouTube channel during quarantine and the second video she uploaded was her Animal Crossing island.
Otherspacing
Member
Man, some of you would put your dick in a blender if it had tits.
For shame.
For shame.
S
SpongebobSquaredance
Unconfirmed Member
basic decency isn't the same as simping
cr0w
Old Member
Retarded. I don't know what people expected out of a Captain Marvel movie, given who the character is.
WitchHunter
Banned
She's always been into Nintendo and specifically Samus and Animal Crossing.
She went as Zero Suit Samus for Halloween back in 2018 before the YouTube hate campaign really kicked into gear:
Last year she launched a YouTube channel during quarantine and the second video she uploaded was her Animal Crossing island.
If you work in entertainment, everything is scripted. Ofc there are exceptions, let's believe this is the case.
Bonfires Down
Member
I don't think Brie fans are going to like Metroid very much. But other than that it's a pretty nice clip that doesn't try too hard.
