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BritGAF |OT6| Dark Souls? More like Arse Holes

Lunch_Box_

Neo Member
I had heard lots of people referring to it as very industrialised/American, everything you'd need but not a lot of culture etc. but I didn't want to just take people's word for it. Kent/Sevenoaks sounds nicer than Milton Keynes at the very least.

Cheers dudes!

'Course there's no culture... Your parents are probably older than the city lol. The American feel is true, it's like one big suburb. Growing up with a grid system and then moving to a city like Nottingham however... I didn't know how you savages got around without roundabouts.

But yeah it's not for everyone man, definitely has it's downsides. You're making the right move.
 
Was taking part in the writing gaf publishing thing...

So er... I think I just published an erotic book under my own preferred pen name. We were supposed to make one up. Kinda like a throwaway...

#notgonnaaddmitIballsedupitwasdeliberatealltheway!

Wait, what?

I'm subscribed to that thread but I never actually read it. It sounds like I'm missing weird stuff!
 

Ashes

Banned
Wait, what?

I'm subscribed to that thread but I never actually read it. It sounds like I'm missing weird stuff!

The gist of it is that you write an erotic story in a set time frame and publish it last weekend. Feel free to jump in. I jumped in late. And published today.

I sort of started writing mine, but didn't complete it. So chose something from my shelf.

I was writing in another thread, that I'm feeling strangely apathetic. The others are really excited. And I feel I ought to be. But I just can't really.

I'm projecting about 5 to 10 sales. So since I'm not making any money, I thought I'd just give away most of the proceeds to charity.
 

NinjaBoiX

Member
I'm really impressed with the performances in inFamous SS, I just started it tonight and the cut scenes are very well done. It's really well acted and staged, not quite Naughty Dog levels but impressive non the less.

A bit too early to comment on the gameplay as I just finished the intro but it sure looks nice. Seems like it could be fun.

As a side note, I'm reminded of an amusing story a friend once told me. He was watching the football with his missus and it was the FA Cup. The little splash between the replays and such had a little play on words with it being a FAmous cup. The logo splash looked like something like this:

The FA

(picture of the cup)

mous cup

I can't find the image, but I'm sure you can visualise it. She turned to him and said:

"What's the FA mouse?"

Jesus Christ...
 
I doubt you'll even have to interview, maybe meet with the supervisor if that.

It is an old man from Watford and Angelos Epethemiou dicussing matters of the day/communing with the dead.

You were bob on there, just references to sort, and then I can except the offer!

I asked this about Milton Keynes and people responded that it's basically a desolate wasteland, so I was wondering - what's Sevenoaks like to live in/what is there to do in Sevenoaks? Cause I've just received an offer for a place on BT's Graduate programme for the security team there.

/humblebrag

Congratulations! Was the BT offer top of your go hit list in terms of graduate schemes?
 

RiggyRob

Member
Congratulations! Was the BT offer top of your go hit list in terms of graduate schemes?

Most definitely - I applied to HP (haven't heard back yet), Sky (places all filled up) and Barclays have asked me to attend an assessment centre in June, but I'd say BT trumps all of them in the scope of what they do/what they offer, opportunities to branch out and so on.
 
I make pretty websites for radio stations.


That's sort of IT, I guess. It's computers. Best said in Jen's voice. Computers. Nope, doesn't come across in text does it.
 

Ashes

Banned
And the short just went live:

SERVANT. (Modern Shorts) by Ashes de Villiers.

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00Y1CDEQ0/
US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y1CDEQ0/?tag=neogaf0e-20

The blurb:

A Brit goes to Sri Lanka for a summer holiday where he is compelled to seduce his maid. Yet like all good relationships, the penis can't really lead the way. Can it?
A short** exploring the brain & the heart in the pursuit of sex. And how our lives tend to want to intertwine with our partners when we want to sleep with them.
[Note: (changed charity contribution )* per copy of this book will go towards charity [National Literacy Trust]. It is my own choice. And I am not affiliated with said charity.]
*or converted to local currency.
**2600 words.

Edit: didn't sell a single copy. So reducing price to 0.99.. Charity contribution is going to change to reflect this..
 

Ashes

Banned
Spoilers of course. But here's what some gaffers thought when I posted for the fortnightly creative writing challenge thread earlier this year:
.
Ashes - "Servant."
Well this came out of nowhere. Completely not expecting that in the middle of all the batman jokes. Veered between creepy, sweet, and tragic in a short space of time and finally managed to end at a good spot in the middle. I think you really knocked it out of the park.

Ashes - This was a great story. Well written with real characters and real emotions. Fantastic work!

Ashes: Felt weirdly abbreviated to me, which is odd because I reread it and it’s really not. You just seem to cover an awful lot of ground, but not all of it gets equal shrift, so the end result feels like oscillating between time dilation and contraction. When he started going on about how he enjoyed dominating her, I thought we were trending into some sort of enumerated shades of monochrome, but then he realizes that he’s being kind of rapey, pulls up short, and then he’s back in awkward territory. So much building for what felt like no pay off for me; the story ends teetering on a precipice and could fall either way, but we don’t get to find out until the following morning that never comes. But this is probably just me being a speculative fiction guy who’s never satisfied with anything.

Ashes - "Servant."
It feels almost like stream of consciousness, though it is riveting.

Ashes- At first I didn't like the writing style, but by "Not sexy, is it?" I came around and really did like it. The quick pace really helps give it a kind of translated fell. I also really like how self aware he was, about why he liked her and such. Small thing of note, I get why he'd be suspicious of her, but would he really think she's just using him for money (and be upset) right after he bought her a bunch of sexy bras? I just feel he bounces back and forth between the two mindsets too much.

Ashes
Man, what a captivating read. The punctuation was an interesting choice, and I think a few sentences could have flowed better together instead of being broken up, but I truly enjoyed reading this one. And I'm probably being dense, but I didn't really see the theme much.
 

SKINNER!

Banned
Watching Purple Rain at the local indie cinema tonight. As a Michael Jackson fan, I'm going in with low and pessimistic expectations ;)
 

NinjaBoiX

Member
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Ashes I may peruse your naughty novelette at some stage. I've contemplated writing some of my own whacking material but even if I did, not sure I'd share it here, what with some lucky people having met me and being able to judge me in person for it later on, because there's nothing I could write which wouldn't end up being obscenely perverse.
 
Ashes I may peruse your naughty novelette at some stage. I've contemplated writing some of my own whacking material but even if I did, not sure I'd share it here, what with some lucky people having met me and being able to judge me in person for it later on, because there's nothing I could write which wouldn't end up being obscenely perverse.

You could make a mint on amazon with that stuff, the market seems to be massive.

I signed up for the free trial of Kindle Unlimited. There's like a million books to choose from and it's about 80% books about women fucking their step-brothers. I cancelled the free trial of Kindle Unlimited.

At least I got to read Slaughterhouse-Five.
 
You could make a mint on amazon with that stuff, the market seems to be massive.

I signed up for the free trial of Kindle Unlimited. There's like a million books to choose from and it's about 80% books about women fucking their step-brothers. I cancelled the free trial of Kindle Unlimited.

At least I got to read Slaughterhouse-Five.

i frequent the writing-gaf thread (as i am a delusional fantasy-epic writer myself) and i think the whole sexy time stories thing came from a guy that says he makes a killing.

anyway, just how much does everyone love flight of the conchords? so sad they'll probably never make a new season.
 

Reknoc

Member
All the destiny talk has made me want to give it another shot but this 7gb update is all like "noooope" so now I'm watching Rick & Morty eps until it finishes or my iPad dies.
 
I had a hilariously bad experience with Pizza Hut last night. Before you ask, because of the cheese triangles man, that's why.

Anyway, so we ordered a bunch - like £50 worth - of food (primarily cheese triangles) at about 9pm. 10pm rolls around and no pizza has arrived. Fair enough though, it's Friday night, but let's just give them a call anyway, see where it is. I get through and immediately get put on hold. I'm on for about ten minutes before I hear someone pick up the line again and promptly hang up. Whaaat. I only wanted to ask where the fucking pizza was. So I phone back - exactly the same thing happens after ten minutes. This time my girlfriend phones instead (hoping he won't immediately hang up on a different number/girls voice). Well it worked because they didn't hang up, though she was put on hold before being told it was out for delivery. Well, they always say that but we'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

By 10.45pm still no pizza so this time a third member of our party phones up, gets through to the "manager" who basically tells us that it's not out for delivery, not being cooked and now it isn't going to be. Our guy says that the website states you can order ten minutes before the store closes. Guy says "nope - half an hour" and then also tells us that because we ordered online he can't even give us a refund. So two hours later, £50 poorer and we still have no food AND now Dominos was closed too. We ended up having to order from some random local place (which was great) but we didn't actually end up eating til 2hr45m after we ordered.

Tl;Dr fuck pizza hut.
 
How ugly is Brad Pitt's wife in World War Z?

The shonky CGI zombies are more believable.
She's no Angelina Jolie, but ugly???
2HBVxSN.jpg


-----------------------------

Watching the Slaves on Radio 1's Big Weekend. They are a far better rock duo than Royal Blood live. I need to see them live.
 
I had a hilariously bad experience with Pizza Hut last night. Before you ask, because of the cheese triangles man, that's why.

Anyway, so we ordered a bunch - like £50 worth - of food (primarily cheese triangles) at about 9pm. 10pm rolls around and no pizza has arrived. Fair enough though, it's Friday night, but let's just give them a call anyway, see where it is. I get through and immediately get put on hold. I'm on for about ten minutes before I hear someone pick up the line again and promptly hang up. Whaaat. I only wanted to ask where the fucking pizza was. So I phone back - exactly the same thing happens after ten minutes. This time my girlfriend phones instead (hoping he won't immediately hang up on a different number/girls voice). Well it worked because they didn't hang up, though she was put on hold before being told it was out for delivery. Well, they always say that but we'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

By 10.45pm still no pizza so this time a third member of our party phones up, gets through to the "manager" who basically tells us that it's not out for delivery, not being cooked and now it isn't going to be. Our guy says that the website states you can order ten minutes before the store closes. Guy says "nope - half an hour" and then also tells us that because we ordered online he can't even give us a refund. So two hours later, £50 poorer and we still have no food AND now Dominos was closed too. We ended up having to order from some random local place (which was great) but we didn't actually end up eating til 2hr45m after we ordered.

Tl;Dr fuck pizza hut.

well that is fucking shit. you'll get the refund but that really sucks. definitely kick up a fuss, you'll get some free food and what not eventually. that's the problem with franchises.

my girlfriend really doesn't like pizza hut's pizzas, which is a shame because their chicken knuckles are delicious.
 

NinjaBoiX

Member
She's no Angelina Jolie, but ugly???
2HBVxSN.jpg
Yeah, I think she's really unattractive. She looks ill.

Brad can do better man, he's so dreamy.
I had a hilariously bad experience with Pizza Hut last night. Before you ask, because of the cheese triangles man, that's why.

Anyway, so we ordered a bunch - like £50 worth - of food (primarily cheese triangles) at about 9pm. 10pm rolls around and no pizza has arrived. Fair enough though, it's Friday night, but let's just give them a call anyway, see where it is. I get through and immediately get put on hold. I'm on for about ten minutes before I hear someone pick up the line again and promptly hang up. Whaaat. I only wanted to ask where the fucking pizza was. So I phone back - exactly the same thing happens after ten minutes. This time my girlfriend phones instead (hoping he won't immediately hang up on a different number/girls voice). Well it worked because they didn't hang up, though she was put on hold before being told it was out for delivery. Well, they always say that but we'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

By 10.45pm still no pizza so this time a third member of our party phones up, gets through to the "manager" who basically tells us that it's not out for delivery, not being cooked and now it isn't going to be. Our guy says that the website states you can order ten minutes before the store closes. Guy says "nope - half an hour" and then also tells us that because we ordered online he can't even give us a refund. So two hours later, £50 poorer and we still have no food AND now Dominos was closed too. We ended up having to order from some random local place (which was great) but we didn't actually end up eating til 2hr45m after we ordered.

Tl;Dr fuck pizza hut.
So what, they willingly took your order knowing they couldn't/wouldn't fulfill it, and now they won't refund you based on some bullshit technicality?

Yeah, that sounds all kinds of illegal.
 
i think the company will refund them, rather than that individual franchisee.
Yup this is my understanding. I think when they took the order they had every intention of fulfilling it but obviously something slipped through the net and it got lost in the ether. The third guy of our party phoned HP today and got credit for 3 Large pizzas and 7 sides put onto his address for the hassle (that's where we were, it's where we always eat pizza ) and I'm gonna phone up for a refund later on.
 
All right you doss fucks.

Mad Max was everything Iv'e ever hoped for in a movie, everything exploding for hours. Loved it. If I was still in Dublin this week I'd marry it.

not sure they voted for that!

but yes, what a fucking film. so many feels etc. i really want to see it again.

good news on the pizza stuff cyclops!
 
Sure is quiet in here.

Come BritGAF, regail me with tales of your bank holiday activities.

For my sins I am working today, though it's quiet right now.

Enjoying the Witcher 3: Witch'em Up immensely. Very impressed with it. I mean, I was impressed before I even put the disk in my PS4, the game actually came with a manual and a little thank you note from CDPR for buying the game. Nice touch. Why is it a rare grace to actually get a manual in the box these days? Declining standards.

But really the game is very good. Proportions and geography of the world feel realistic, dynamic touches make a big difference as well. Little things like the trees swaying and creaking in the wind go a long way. Some of the weather on display is glorious too, really vibrant sunsets and such. The characters in the world are good as well, well written and they look the part. Lots of impressively weathered looking peasants about.

Geralt plays the part of gruff but more or less well intentioned badass well. Normally with games like these I like to create my own character but the custom/pre-written character approaches each have their own strengths and weaknesses.

The combat is pretty good. Not a massive amount of depth to it, a lot of fights come down to the same formula of dodging/rolling and mashing fast attack, rinse and repeat and occasionally use Signs. Obviously that's a little unfair as some of the more intimidating enemies like Noonwraiths can only be damaged within certain spellfields and really require you to get involved with stuff like applying oils. But for the most part it's a matter of waiting for the enemy to expose themselves and then punishing them. Still, I appreciate that you are very vulnerable actually, even low level enemies can kill you with a few too many hits.

One very cool thing is the way that many of these tougher opponents are set up as quests, often you end up uncovering a whole backstory to characters and villages involved that adds an extra layer of context, it's rarely just "go there and kill that". In fact there's very little of the lame fetch quest stuff as you'd expect from an open world RPG. I did have to bring back someone's goat at one point but overall the quality of the quests is very good.

I even really like the mini game they've made up for it, Gwent. To the extent that any time I visit a new town or village I seek out the innkeepers or blacksmiths I can beat to get more cards.

So having played maybe ten hours or more over the weekend my preliminary rating for this interactive experience is R for "really foookin good, like".
 
I've been to work, removed a friend from my life*, and I'm going to watch Big Hero 6 later after playing the gloriously shite Final Fantasy X remaster a bit.

My bank holiday.

(*Like, I didn't kill her or anything.)
 
I had Thursday and Friday off work so I had a very long bank holiday. This is what I did.

Wednesday night I had band practise.

Thursday I had my friend's wedding, we were up early dying my hair then driove up to the hotel to get ready. Ceremony was at 3 then reception and all that stuff. I had a few drinks but had to take it easy because I was singing for their first dance, which ended up being at about 9pm. The bride's son accompanied me on keyboard while I sang At Last by Etta James. I think it went well, had plenty of people coming up after complimenting me. We stayed up dancing and drinking till 1am.

Friday we were up at 8am as we had to be out of our rooms and down for breakfast by 9am. Then we drove home and started helping our friends pack up as they've been living with us but were moving into their flat. Then I headed down to the Excel for MCM Comic Con to work a few hours. Then I had to go to sound check for my gig, then play my gig, and stayed for a few drinks. Got home about half past midnight.

Saturday morning I was up at 6:30 to get ready for Comic Con. On my feet smiling and being nice to people from 8:30am to just gone 6pm. Then we went for a few drinks and I ended up getting home at 3:30am.

Sunday I was up at 7am and back to Comic Con. On my feet again being super bouncy and nice trying to sell to people from 9:30 to just after 5pm, then we had to pack everything up. Then we drive down to our caravan in Dymchurch, had dinner and stayed up till midnight.

Today I was up at 8am and spent the day on the beach playing frisbee and tennis and cricket, paddling in the sea, longboarding, in the amusement arcade etc. Packed up and left about 5:30 and got home just after 7pm. Then I popped over to see my sister before she heads back to Australia tomorrow. I just got back.

I'd like to sleep for a week now please.
 
Most definitely - I applied to HP (haven't heard back yet), Sky (places all filled up) and Barclays have asked me to attend an assessment centre in June, but I'd say BT trumps all of them in the scope of what they do/what they offer, opportunities to branch out and so on.

Without knowing much about BT, the fact that they are expanding significantly with fingers deep in many different pies will make it an interesting company to work for!

Definitely attend the other assessment centre though, always worth having another offer on the table.
 

Chinner

Banned
ello there everybody i m looking forward to meeting yeh at the next meet up, i hope we hae a smashing time, hae a noice drink and dae some switched on dancing. im bleedin' floop -a-hoop to meet yeh all.
 
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