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BritGAF |OT6| Dark Souls? More like Arse Holes
- Thread starter JonathanEx
- Start date
dapperbandit
Banned
Praise be to Jesus.
Mick, scummiest of all co-dwellers hath been smote. Unable to pay his month's rent up front and his deposit in time, our Land Lady fair has decreed that he is not fit to live amongst us and has been banished back to whichever pit of fire and feces he crawled out of.
A shadow has been lifted from this house and from our hearts. No more will we have to endure long winded stories about how violent London is/was/probably wasn't backintheday, or tales of his old mates getting nicked by the olde bill. No more will I have to endure the sight of his horrifically crooked teeth or the withered visage of his rude and unwholesome girlfriend, who moved in with him having known him for all of two weeks. No more will we have to endure the sound of Mick and his Harpy's night time rutting or suffer the creeping suspicion that they have been fornicating in the living room. No more invitations to seedy sex parties and no more questioning of our sexualities when we politely decline. And no more will we have to put up with "coincidental" problems with the hot water in the house days after an apparently cash strapped plumber moves in.
We have been liberated, we did not even need to fake a haunting as planned. My mind is no longer preoccupied with dark plots of deceit, sabotage or murder. It is like a poisonous fog that had gripped me has been cleared and the sun is shining, cleansing my soul with it's warmth. I have no regrets: my conscience is clear, my buttocks are smooth.
It is a good day.
Mick, scummiest of all co-dwellers hath been smote. Unable to pay his month's rent up front and his deposit in time, our Land Lady fair has decreed that he is not fit to live amongst us and has been banished back to whichever pit of fire and feces he crawled out of.
A shadow has been lifted from this house and from our hearts. No more will we have to endure long winded stories about how violent London is/was/probably wasn't backintheday, or tales of his old mates getting nicked by the olde bill. No more will I have to endure the sight of his horrifically crooked teeth or the withered visage of his rude and unwholesome girlfriend, who moved in with him having known him for all of two weeks. No more will we have to endure the sound of Mick and his Harpy's night time rutting or suffer the creeping suspicion that they have been fornicating in the living room. No more invitations to seedy sex parties and no more questioning of our sexualities when we politely decline. And no more will we have to put up with "coincidental" problems with the hot water in the house days after an apparently cash strapped plumber moves in.
We have been liberated, we did not even need to fake a haunting as planned. My mind is no longer preoccupied with dark plots of deceit, sabotage or murder. It is like a poisonous fog that had gripped me has been cleared and the sun is shining, cleansing my soul with it's warmth. I have no regrets: my conscience is clear, my buttocks are smooth.
It is a good day.
Nerdkiller
Membeur
999 - Michael Buerk.
Praise be to your God. X
HYPNOTOAD
show me your skeleton
Member
the lord of light has spoken; blood for the blood god! praise the sun brother!
Now to start worrying about how bad your next housemate will be
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
This brings up a question I've been meaning to ask. For you guys and girls that have had a lot of roommate experience, what is your interview / testing process when assessing a potential housemate? Ever been caught unaware by someone you got along well with that ended up being horrible? What are your deal-breakers?
I've never lived alone or with housemates. I've only ever lived with my parents growing up, my cousin when I moved back to the USA, and gotten a flat with two different girlfriends. I'm back at my dad's place at the moment but eventually want to move and possible get a roommate so I can afford something decent.
show me your skeleton
Member
woah now, you're american?
dapperbandit
Banned
Well they'd have to be really bad to be worse than than Mick.
Atilla does have another Hungarian friend who is currently looking for a room. Unfortunately his name isn't Genghis or Adolf or anything like that.
Atilla does have another Hungarian friend who is currently looking for a room. Unfortunately his name isn't Genghis or Adolf or anything like that.
The deal breaker for me is if they are bad at communicating or holding a conversation.
If they can't it usually means they'll build up some perceived slight in their head over how you place a sponge on the side of the sink and it ends up with a pint glass being thrown at your ribcage. (true story)
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Sounds like implosive rage. Those kinds of people are dangerous.
I like the idea of a sitcom with Dapperbandit and Genghis Khan somehow being his roomate. Dapper has to teach him how to deal with modern life situations like having his shows accidentally deleted on the living room DVR, dealing with Nintendo fans on online message boards, and getting scolded for leaving the kitchen a mess.
I like the idea of a sitcom with Dapperbandit and Genghis Khan somehow being his roomate. Dapper has to teach him how to deal with modern life situations like having his shows accidentally deleted on the living room DVR, dealing with Nintendo fans on online message boards, and getting scolded for leaving the kitchen a mess.
dapperbandit
Banned
The ultimate odd couple. We both show each other how to cut loose and enjoy life's ups and downs. Genghis shows me how to ride a horse and shoot a bow, I show Genghis how to work out his problems without killing and get him into Mortal Kombat and Civilization. It's not perfect; every now and then Genghis loses his temper and breaks something expensive or burns a village to the ground. But as time goes on, we gain an understanding of each other and a bond of respect grows between us. After some time, Genghis opens up and reveals that even though the house is full of concubines, Genghis is seeking a meaningful relationship. We get Genghis some smart evening attire and hit the bars. I teach him some pick up lines and do my best as his wingman. But in the end it turns out Genghis had a soft side all along, I just helped him nurture it.
EDIT
AND THEN I'M TOTALLY NOT SODOMIZED AT THE END
toythatkills
Member
Maybe Keanu Reeves as dapperbandit
And then you fuck right?
dapperbandit
Banned
show me your skeleton
Member
this is basically game of thrones and you're danerys targareagnbf.
dapperbandit
Banned
Okay I've edited that post now
show me your skeleton
Member
tell their parents.
Nerdkiller
Membeur
Depends on which Nintendo fans. If they're like the ones who whined over the new Metroid game, I would tell them to go hang out with the Star Wars folks who claimed their lives were ruined because of the Prequels. I'd give them five minutes before they start clawing at each other.
Be confused.
Wish you could love and enjoy anything in life as much as they do Nintendo.
Buy a Wii U.
Barely use it.
Little Old Man
Member
Provide a link to the 2015 E3 direct.
toythatkills
Member
That's cold, man
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
What a fucking ridiculous week. Good riddance.
What happened??
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Just boring work stuff. The Man be getting me down.
We're a person down and I got dumped with several huge and costly email projects at the beginning of the week, along with my usual duties. Very little info to go on and requiring me to know how to do things I have never done before. What the fuck is a photoshop?
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
That's what I said!
WadiumArcadium
Member
Ouch. My sides.
NinjaBoiX
Member
Argh. Sounds like you're being thrown into a cement mixer.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Is that some kind of business speak?
Dude I would've said thrown into a shredder if that was the case
show me your skeleton
Member
Dude I would've said thrown into a shredder if that was the case
appreciate the lack of legal speak when communicating to us plebeians!
appreciate the lack of legal speak when communicating to us plebeians!
I'm really confused!
I just made up that cement mixer phrase in my head to describe the feeling of being spun around while having concrete poured on you. I was being creative. You know CREATIVE. I'm not corporate. IM NOT
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Dude I would've said thrown into a shredder if that was the case
Good point!
Nerdkiller
Membeur
Hey. NeoGAF's got the beachball of unified love as its logo now.
NinjaBoiX
Member
Dark Souls 2 is pretty good like, I'm already finding every opportunity I can to play it. Got up from a nap today, reached straight for the controller!
I think I've pretty much cleared out Forest of the Fallen Giants, just been invaded by my first black phantom and lost (Ennis I belive) plus, playing Dark Souls in 60fps is a glorious experience. The obsession begins anew...
Disco shift at Mint tonight, should be about £100 cash in hand after tips which will cover going out last night. To top it off, the bus driver just let me on for nowt because the cash point near me is busted.
Free weekend, woo!
(Dark Souls all day tomorrow, gonna veg out.)
I think I've pretty much cleared out Forest of the Fallen Giants, just been invaded by my first black phantom and lost (Ennis I belive) plus, playing Dark Souls in 60fps is a glorious experience. The obsession begins anew...
Disco shift at Mint tonight, should be about £100 cash in hand after tips which will cover going out last night. To top it off, the bus driver just let me on for nowt because the cash point near me is busted.
Free weekend, woo!
(Dark Souls all day tomorrow, gonna veg out.)
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
I thought you hated the first game, never finished it because "parrying is bullshit" and only got through most of the challenges by turtling behind a shield and playing offline? I need to know your play style for the sequel so I can judge you with my elite Dark Souls superiority.
NinjaBoiX
Member
It was fun being back at Mint tonight, I miss that place man. New staff are a bit shit like, but we made it work. Going in for cocktail training on Thursday night too, not getting paid (because I technically don't work there anymore) but it's a free piss up then a staff night out so I can't complain.
Also, lol at the "no drinks behind the bar" rule, I got plenty of drinks bought for me, happily drank them. Fuck that shit, I'm not forgoing one of the best parts of the job because the new girl can't handle her drink.
My gun (barcode reader for the tills) was still there with my name on too. Aww, it's like I never left, like a comfy pair of slippers!
My issue was always with the dodgy clipping and "cheating" AI (warp frames for some bosses, lack of friendly fire for enemies, etc). Don't get me wrong, there is still time time for me to spit my dummy out with it, I've only just started! But yeah, I'm remembering why I spent so much time with the first two, it's a fantastic game when it's not kicking you in the nuts repeatedly.
Also, lol at the "no drinks behind the bar" rule, I got plenty of drinks bought for me, happily drank them. Fuck that shit, I'm not forgoing one of the best parts of the job because the new girl can't handle her drink.
My gun (barcode reader for the tills) was still there with my name on too. Aww, it's like I never left, like a comfy pair of slippers!
Well to he fair I don't think I ever said that parrying was bullshit, just that I suck as at it. And I never said I hated it, just that I found it incredibly frustrating and unfair at times.
My issue was always with the dodgy clipping and "cheating" AI (warp frames for some bosses, lack of friendly fire for enemies, etc). Don't get me wrong, there is still time time for me to spit my dummy out with it, I've only just started! But yeah, I'm remembering why I spent so much time with the first two, it's a fantastic game when it's not kicking you in the nuts repeatedly.
Sounds like fun Mike. Never been to a foam party, I should rectify that.
Deaf Spacker
Memb
I apologise for making it rain, getting the swimming pool out was a bad idea.
show me your skeleton
Member
it is going to be so hot this week, guh.
i don't have a shower
i don't have a shower