Nah, we'll just hang around until the last minute of every game and then lose in the most heartbreaking fashion possible. The final game of the year against Iowa will culminate in someone reenacting the scene where they put down Old Yeller but instead of a dog it will be a football with the face of Herbie Husker on one side and a block N on the other. All of us then release a black balloon into the sky, solemnly throw the bones one final time and then quietly leave the stadium making sure to tell every Iowa fan we see on the way out, "Good game." The weeks following will be full of bonfires that will rage out of control, fueled by Husker jerseys, thousands of pictures of Tom Osborne, and various other pieces of Husker paraphernalia. Within the month, the fires will have consumed the state and Nebraska is left a barren, ashen wasteland. There are no survivors.
Years afterward, when someone outside the state finally notices something has changed within the state of Nebraska, a simple memorial will be erected off I-80 that reads: They grew corn here.