Best per slot for weight vs defense should be Royal Helm, Elite Knight Armor, Hard Leather Gauntlets, and the Antiquated Dress. Since most people go for 40 Endurance anyway, some of that doesn't really matter since 26%-49% Equip Load is a pretty big gap and this setup will keep you above 25% anyway.
Black Iron Gloves and Armor have good Defenses, though they're Twinkling Titanite to upgrade so get to either farming it or multiple playthroughs for Snuggly trading (...or just glitch Snuggly, I guess). They have the Stamina penalty too but I don't know how severe it is.
Eagle Shield is the lightest Greatshield so ... not much room for improvement without sacrificing more Equip Load; that and, off-hand, I'm not sure which are really truly improvements over it. The Hollow Soldier Shield and Silver Knight Shield are the two best shields that still allow for parrying.