I read that entire thing and I can't tell when you're being completely facetious or not.
So I nailed it? I wanted it to be fairly silly.
The complaints are all genuine (seriously, how many times does Isaac fall off/get thrown off of something in a cutscene in this game?), but I'm not enraged about them or anything (Bagel-Isaac is pretty pissed, though). I had fun with the game, it just feels like a missed opportunity. You have all of those resources, and you turn out a game with incredible production values - the art, the sound, it's all fantastic - but then you water down all of the things that made the series stand out. I'm with the posters above who suggested that Dead Space should be two series, one a story-driven survival horror experience and the other a faster traditional shooter. Dead Space (the original) was more the former, 2 was more shooter-y, and 3 is a poor mix (in my opinion) of the two. Even the core of the shooting - the dismemberment system - has been made much less important. So now it's a linear shooter (with a cover system? Why? Because other popular games have this?) that tries to make you think you're in a survival horror game.
The microtransactions ARE absurd and insulting. The crafting is neat, but it just didn't really work for me (other people seem to be having more fun with that, though). I understand the two weapon limit and unified ammo, but it kind of undermined the whole thing. Not to mention that my $60 bought me incredible guns from the get-go and, if those didn't work, I could use cash-money to go get more parts for crafting, or just more guns. Any Dead Space in which I toss aside the plasma cutter early on has failed on some level, in my opinion.
The story is absolutely ridiculous. That wouldn't bother me as much if the first game hadn't been a great hard sci-fi experience. But now I have the world's stupidest love triangle, one member of which you know will turn on you about 30 seconds after you first meet him. And the pro-necromorph people are just silly.
You can certainly make a straightforward PC port - it ran great, controlled great - no complaints there - but don't tell me I'm not getting better textures, improved lighting, etc because I somehow don't want those things.
It's a fun game and it obviously got a ton of time, resources, and love. But it feels like a bit of a marketing exercise - we need to move more units by appealing to more people. How do we do that? By making it more like every other shooter. Dammit!
So now I've complained about it twice?* Jeez. I guess I wouldn't be so negative if I didn't like the series so much. If I didn't care, I'd just play it and move on, instead of drawing silly cartoon reviews and then blathering on even more at the drop of a hat. It's not even that I wanted more from the game (lord knows, there's no shortage of content), I guess I just wanted "different."
*But that's what you get for consistently spawning enemies behind me, Doom 3 style, you jerks.