I think it's an extension of the artist part of the Jeff Hardy character.....I dunno, what's the point of a babyface with a vanity belt?
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December Wrasslin |OT| Dean Ambrose, Muscleless Agent of SHIELD, Every Week :(
I think it's an extension of the artist part of the Jeff Hardy character.....I dunno, what's the point of a babyface with a vanity belt?
HarryDemeanor
Member
It was Sting.
Nah it was Bobbeh.
Nah it was Bobbeh.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Impact crowd has no idea what to do during this.
EDIT: So he turned heel and the crowd is left confused.
EDIT: So he turned heel and the crowd is left confused.
NihonTiger90
Member
Yes.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Why you gotta throw the chair, Hulk?
WCW Superbrawl 2000 2/20/2000
So much fucking text. These are longer than most papers I wrote in high school.
Go home edition of Thunder wasn't complete but you know what? Nothing important or ridiculous happened on it anyway, so fuck it. We'll just jump right to the PPV.
A recap of the angles coming into this. Nash was injured and let Jeff Jarrett handle commissionership while he was out. Jeff naturally booked himself a title shot. He booked Scott Hall in a non-title match to wear Sid down. However, the Championship Committee made it a title match and when Scott Hall tried to win/had it won, Jarrett hit him with the guitar and let Sid retain. This led to Kevin Nash revoking Jarrett's temporary power and booking Sid vs Jarrett in a non title match. If Jarrett won, he'd get his title shot. If Sid won, Hall would get it. The Championship Committee also made it a title match...Jarrett's US Championship! Ended in a no contest, so Nash booked a triple threat for the title. Hall vs Sid vs Jarrett.
Ric Flair returned after a 3 month absence and immediately reignited his feud with Terry Funk. The basis this time is over a line in Mick Foley's book saying that Terry Funk was better than Ric Flair. David was booked in an I Quit match against Funk where Funk brutalized him, but Ric didnt' show up to help his son. This made Arn Anderson, who was stuck in the middle between both men, absolve himself from both of his friends. The entire WCW locker room and television staff were disgusted with Ric for letting his son take a beating while he fucked yaks.
Hulk Hogan returned after 3 months, taking offense to Lex Luger saying he had a better body. Lex also broke Jimmy Hart's arm to send a message to Hulk. Hulk used a decoy Sting so he could Pearl Harbor Lex. Lex put Sting out of action at Starrcade and has been on the receiving end of mysterious Sting mind games.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene with an update on Commissioner Nash. In addition to his leg injury, Jarrett hit him with a guitar on Thunder. The nWo (which is JJ and the Harris Brothers) walk out of Nash's office. Jarrett claims to have laid Nash out and is again acting commissioner. He lifts the ban on the Harris Brothers, who will now be at ringside during the match.
Show run down. Jarrett vs Hall vs Nash WCW Championship. Hulk Hogan vs The Total Package Featured Attraction Match. Terry Funk vs Ric Flair DEATH MATCH. Lash LeRoux vs TAFKAPI WCW Cruiserweight Title Tournament Final. Bam Bam Bigelow vs Brian Knobs WCW Hardcore Championship. David/Crowbar vs The Mamalukes Sicilian Stretcher Match. Big T vs Booker for Ownership of the Harlem Heat Franchise. Kidman vs Vampiro. The Demon vs The Wall Special Main Event Match. 3 Count vs Norman Smiley Handicap Match. JAMES BROWN will make an appearance.
Recap of the events leading to and results of the Cruiser tournament.
Lash LeRoux vs TAFKAPI for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Lash smacked Paisley's ass. I'm sure Booker didn't appreciate that. Prince is better in this than I've seen him, which means he's decidedly average. I lol at a sign on the hard cam that says "I want my release". Prince grabs Lil' Naitch's dick to prevent a sunset flip and then put that hand in Lash's face. Didn't matter. Then they hilariously blew an Irish whip spot, and had a string of miscommunications including Prince bumping for Lash's splits spot despite there not even being a strike performed. Paisley has been on the apron pretty much the whole time and the ref hasn't said anything to her. It paid off when she held on to Prince when Lash tried a super rana. This led to the diving DDT and TAFKAPI wins the WCW Cruiserweight Championship. I wish Oklahoma was still the champ.
TO THE BACK. Norman Smiley is having his injured ribs taped up. Mean Gene gets a word with Brian Knobs. Fuck Brian Knobs. I can't believe WCW ran him as a singles star. The fuck. NASTY KNOBS! A room with a Private Keep Out sign on it has been the talk of the company all day. No one knows who requested it or who is behind it.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs Brian Knobs WCW Hardcore Championship
Knobs' version of My Sharona sounds less like the Jimmy Hart Version and more like a Kids Bop karoke exclusively for moms who want to rock version. It's 30 seconds of the least rocking guitar I've ever heard looped over and over. It's amazing. They quickly brawl into the stands and back stage. Finlay is there to beat up Bam Bam, but Knobs wants to do it on his own. After completely no selling getting body slammed through a table on concrete. Back to the ringside area now. "Good thing Bam Bam had those tattoos to protect his head." "Who puts the tables under there I wonder?" Knobs went for a bulldog through a table set up in the corner, but it was reversed and he went through it alone. Greetings from Asbury Park. That move always looked like it would really hurt Bammer's leg and/or balls. He then went for a top rope headbutt/chair shot, but Finlay distracts him and Knobs is the new WCW Hardcore Champion. Fuck, that belt is such a knock off of the ECW Championship. Paul should have sued.
TO THE BACK. Ric Flair and Lex are talking each other up. Ric is hitting on both Lex and Liz. Security are watching over Sid and Hall's rooms. No one is allowed in or out of either locker room.
3 Count vs Norman Smiley
"Their fan club meets in a phone booth" gets a BIG POP from Tony. They aren't going to sing, they are just going to kick ass tonight. CRAZY back body drop over the top to Shannon. He went past the mats and barely landed on the other two guys. Shane and Shannon were crazy taking the most ridiculous bumps trying to get noticed. One week on Nitro, Shannon took a punch while on the apron by doing a flipping swanton to the floor. Shane misses a pretty intense Whisper in the Wind type move that he barely made the full rotation on, but had tons of hang time. Then a GIANT SWING! And BIG WIGGLE! 3 Count wins after Evan's twisty splash, Shane's frog splash, and Shannon locking on the Lion Tamer with his foot hooked behind Norman's head. But still, Norman tapped out to Shannon Moore. Norman will not accept assistance from the refs.
TO THE BACK. WHO IS BEHIND DOOR?!?! Jeff sends the Harris Bros to find out.
The Demon vs The Wall.
This is a special main event match. On the 3rd match of the card. Against the Wall. Tony tells them to shut up so he can rock out. "You know, Mike, as the host of the Wednesday show, Tenay is the god of thunder." Lols were had. Tony is SUCH a Kiss nerd. It's kind of endearing. The Wall's music starts but he doesn't come out, so Demon goes back to look for him. Wall ambushes him. Gorilla press to the Demon. Oh no, blood on his white shirt. This is a pretty decent big man clubbering match until Demon almost breaks Wall's neck by lawn darting him on the power slam from the top Flair spot. Fuck. He baaarely got over enough to not land straight on his head. Wall then gets up and super chokeslams him anyway, but has the glassy eyes going.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene wants to know where James Brown is. The Cat says Gene's breath smells like old neck bone. Beethoven stole his stuff from Little Richard and Little Richard stole his stuff from James Brown. The Harris Brothers give up trying to open the private room by jiggling the handle and kind of knocking. They are two guys over 6 feet tall and they couldn't even try to knock the door down? Tank and Big Al are pacing in the arena.
Tank Abbott vs Big Al in a Skins Match
Which is leather jacket on a pole match. Mark Madden immediately breaks down how stupid this is when he asks why Big Al is wrestling for WCW if the whole reason he's giving Tank shit is because he's wrestling for WCW. They wrap each other's hands with a belt so they can brawl. "Long time bros, if you will." Tank loudly says "fuck, fuck you, fucker, and shit" multiple times. Tank goes down to a forearm shot. He might be out. Big Al starts to drag him to the post so he can crotch him, but decides it is too good for Tank. I thought he was going to tie his legs around the post with his belt. Or duct tape. But instead he takes forever and stands on Tank's face. Just balancing on his face with both feet, which wakes Tank up and pisses him off. Kind of like Randy Savage's reviving elbow drop. This is terrible. Until Tank hits a judo throw and calls Al a fuck face. Tank puts Al on his shoulder and tries to climb the top rope to get the jacket but drops him to the floor, Al hitting the steps along the way. Then jumps down to the floor to punch Al in the chest for some reason. Seemed unnecessary. Kind of like that MMA fight where the dude was clearly out and the other guy gave him a love tap/poke on the chest to see if he was dead. He gets the jacket and wins the match. Then he pulls a knife from the jacket, puts it to Al's throat, and says he could fucking kill him right now. WIDE SHOT WIDE SHOT WIDE SHOT. Tony covers it by saying that it was a pair of scissors and Tank was going to cut his beard. Well, Al didn't have a beard and it'd be awfully strange for Tank to cut his beard on top of Big Al. "Maybe it was salad tongs."
TO THE BACK. The REAL Harlem Heat shit talk Booker. Booker says HELL NAW. WUT DA HAYLE? He's just calling himself B now.
Booker vs Big T.
Booker still has the Leave it to Beaver music. Why are Ahmed and Clarence Mason buddy buddy now? Didn't Ahmed try to kill him? Man, Ahmed is so fat. It's great. If only he were wearing his Daisy Dukes. Booker hit an Angle Slam and vertical suplex. Impressive. Pretty sure those were the first bumps Ahmed had taken in his 2 month run besides when he would fall over trying to Pearl River Plunge people. Big T's gear looks so low rent. Kind of like Kane's attire when he came back with the mask at the beginning of the year. Except velvety. (Let me) Ax (you a question) kick. Harlem side kick. Book End. Missile dropkick. 1-2....LIGHTS GO OUT?!? For a long time. Now another giant black dude is on the apron. PRP. Big T wins the rights to Harlem Heat Inc. I think that is Swoll. From No Limit Soldier to Booker T's childhood friend.
TO THE BACK. Maestro and Ryan Shamrock. If The Cat actually produces James Brown, he'll listen to any music The Cat wants. But if he doesn't, Cat must listen to Beethoven and be Stro's servant. The Harris Bros got a security guard to unlock the private door, which he can't, so they beat him up. Why they can't just kick the door in is beyond me. Highlight package of Kidman and Vamp's kind of feud of respect.
Kidman vs Vampiro.
This would have to be the match of the night. Madden implies that Vamp is a necrophiliac. Top rope gut wrench from Vamp. By the way, Tony gets really pissed when you call him Vamp and not Vampiro. Can't powerbomb Kidman. They have some miscommunication and some awkwardness. Torrie gets knocked off the apron. Looking hot as fuck, as usual. This pisses Kidman off. He goes out to help her and Vamp attacks. He has a chair, but Torrie prevents him from using it. "FUCK HER UP" says fan in the front row. Kidman hits a dropkick Vandaminator. Tony and Tenay really don't like Mark Madden and don't try to hide it. They shit all over everything he says or don't react at all. "Another one of those prepared ad-libs" in reaction to "If Torrie helps Kidman win, does that make her Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?" There was a missile drop kick to the back of the head that was more or less a Psycho Crusher. Kidman only gets a 2 count on a super rana. POWERBOMB. DOUBLE POWERBOMB. Vampiro doesn't give a fuck about wrestling conventions. He'll powerbomb Kidman twice in a row. Vamp tried a superplex, but Kidman countered with a spinning layout reverse DDT from the top for the win. Pretty good, but probably the weakest of their 3 matches.
TO THE BACK. Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes are with Mean Gene. Funk promises to kick Flair's ass. Dustin always looks like he's on the verge of tears. Sid busts out of his room and security tries to stop him, but he puts them in their place. David/Daffney/Crowbar are wheeling around on a stretcher in the back. The Mamalukes (PAISANS!) are going to fuck those nutty fucks up. JTB is going to break thumbs because they wouldn't let him eat his cheese sandwich. What? Vito uses Sicilian and Italian interchangeably, which proves to me he isn't Sicilian.
David/Crowbar vs The Mamalukes Sicilian Strecher Match for the WCW Tag Team Championship
These guys have been in a match on every show all year I think. Disco is on commentary. "The Mamalukes think it's a shoot, don't they?". Crowbar does a Vader Bomb off the guard rail. JTB looks like a really in shape 2002 Tommy Dreamer. Daffney hits a rana on JTB and pepper sprays Disco. This is a messy brawl. But it's the same one they've had for 2 months straight. Falling powerbomb through a leaning table from Vito to Crowbar. I think Crowbar has his abs painted. David is taped to the stretcher with athletic tape. Crowbar tries to pin the table. David is now eliminated. Bell randomly rings a minute later. No one reacts. Vito with a splash from the top through a table on Crowbar. ECW chants. In the Cow Palace. They tape Crowbar to the stretcher. Then they grab Daffney and strap her to a wheel chair. She's screaming like she's getting raped and Tony says she's probably enjoying it. It's more than a little uncomfortable. She's taped and gagged by 3 men and Tony says she enjoys it? Then Mark asks "Was it just me or did they tape Daffney's breasts down for some reason?" What the fuck. And you are telling me this wasn't Russo's work?
TO THE BACK. JJ and the Harris Bros have a plan. Security brings Mean Gene to Sid's locker room. Sid is going to powerbomb everyone to hell.
The Cat brings out his special guest James Brown. He's here! Well, this was weird. Cat was out heeling on the crowd and all of the sudden his music cuts him off. And then it stops. And then it starts again and he says James Brown is here, baby. But it isn't the real James Brown. Maestro comes out. This is so bad. Both of these guys are heels. Maestro because he likes classical music. Cat because he's black. This goes on for a bit until a bunch of dancing people come out. James Brown's new song plays and out comes JAMES BROWN. With an entourage of white women and black men. "Time for James Brown to get funky like a....ehh, I better not say that. It got me in trouble once." Naturally, James Brown gets a bigger reaction of anyone so far. By a large margin. I don't know why Cat came out and heeled on everyone for this. James seems out of it though, but dances like a mother fucker anyway. This is bad, but it is certainly better than Kid Rock. James Brown gives Cat his robe. I wonder how much WCW paid James Brown for this and to promote his new album. I'm sure they didn't get paid to promote it.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene asks Scott Hall about his match tonight. Scott Hall looks pissed and mentions being in time out because he can't play well with others or get along with the bookers. This was his last night in WCW. Recap of the Flair/Funk feud. Ric Flair talks about how he doesn't like the hardcore stuff *Cut to Flair rolling on thumbtacks and bleeding every night on tour in his 60s* The rules are there will be a 10 count after any pin or submission. It could be 1 or 101 falls.
Ric Flair vs Terry Funk Death Match.
Suplex on the floor. Another one. AHHH SHIT! First fall goes to Funk. Flair is now working over Funk's leg with a chair. Funk taps out. Piledriver on the floor! Piledriver on the the concrete! I love Flair's selling of big moves of OOOHH OWW OHH SHIT OWWW. Funk's chest is bleeding from chops. Funk has a table and is planning to break Flair's neck again. Holy shit. STIFF piledriver through the table. 1000% better than the one in 1989. Funk went to get another table and finally pinned Flair about 2 minutes later, which was a kickout. He puts Ric on the table and goes for a moonsault, but Flair got up and knocked Funk's legs, sending Funker crashing into the table. Flair pins Funk and barely makes it to his feet before the 10 count. He Flair Flopped on 10. Ric Flair is your winner. Eh. This wasn't that good, but not really bad or anything. Mostly because Funk was just too broken down. This wasn't a patch on their 1989 match or even Flair vs Vince.
TO THE BACK. WHO IS BEHIND THE DOOR?! Mean Gene gets a word with Jimmy Hart and Hulk Hogan. Hogan's mustache got so much better around 1999ish. How to you keep a mustache like that trimmed? Seems like a lot of work to keep a handle bar of that size so even and awesome. Michael Buffer is of course in to announce Hulk Hogan. This is now the co-featured main event. But The Demon vs The Wall was the Special Main Event. Buffer isn't even doing ARE YOU READY or Let's Get Ready to Rumble anymore. He's only been around twice I think this year and the first time he said Are We (having fun yet?!) Ready and this time he said "Let's bring em' on."
Hulk Hogan vs The Total Package.
Hulk had his wrist broken by Lex on Nitro. Hulk was still being billed as 6'7, which is nonsense. Hogan is more over than James Brown. LOL Hulk still put his hand on Lex's head to punch even though it had a cast on it. Madden thought it was Hogan using the cast as a weapon, but somehow Hulk just forgot he was wearing a cast and did his normal punches. Hogan's hair is weird. About as weird as it looks now in TNA. I don't give a shit about this match, but both Hulk and Jimmy Hart hit Lex in the face with their casts leading to the leg drop for the win. And then Hulk whips Lex with his weight belt until Flair makes the save for Lex. I guess his neck wasn't broken. IT'S STING! HE HAS RETURNED! A full month after they said he'd be back. Sting and Hogan are the same height and Sting certainly is 6'7.
TO THE BACK. Scott Hall tells the security guards to try the mini bar before he, Sid, and Jarrett head to the arena. Oh no, the door is open. It wasn't Sting, either.
Sid vs Scott Hall vs Jeff Jarrett for the WCW Wolrd Heavyweight Championship.
Buffer says Jeff is a 5 time world champion right after Tony says Hall and Jarrett have never won a world title. Hall is in Outsiders gear and he and Jarrett get into it before Sid can make it out. Hall looks weirdly motivated and clear minded. Tony calls Jeff and Hall "those two kids" during a punch battle. Ref bump. Double chokeslam. Nick Patrick slides in, but both guys kick out. Sid gets brained with the title by Jarrett. Super close two count. Crowd is dead for this except when they thought Hall would win. Nick Patrick gets stroked. Harris Bro holds a chair up, but Jarrett gets thrown into it. Hall pins him and Charles Robinson slides (but didn't sprint), but Jarrett kicks out at a close two. Mickey Jay comes out and gets taken out right away. This leaves only Slick Johnson left. OUTSIDER EDGE! Slick Johnson has a shoulder injury right before a 3 count. Sid is on the floor with the Harris Bros and JJ hits Hall with the guitar. Slick Johnson's shoulder is better, but before he can count to 3, Roddy Piper comes out and stops the count. Then pokes Jeff in the eye. Sid chokeslams Jeff and powerbombs Hall to retain his title. I'm actually amazed WCW had Hall be the one to eat the fall on his final night with the company. Hall looks like he might have hurt something the PPV. This was just a longer version of what you'd expect out of this match on Nitro or Thunder. Wiki says it was about 18 minutes, but that's if you include the ring intros and Sid celebrating. I guess we can assume that Piper was WHO IS BEHIND DOOR!? I'm kind of surprised that Vince didn't bring Hall back in 2000. He must have really been in bad shape with the booze. I think it would have been a pretty big deal for Razor to return one night.
So much fucking text. These are longer than most papers I wrote in high school.
Go home edition of Thunder wasn't complete but you know what? Nothing important or ridiculous happened on it anyway, so fuck it. We'll just jump right to the PPV.
A recap of the angles coming into this. Nash was injured and let Jeff Jarrett handle commissionership while he was out. Jeff naturally booked himself a title shot. He booked Scott Hall in a non-title match to wear Sid down. However, the Championship Committee made it a title match and when Scott Hall tried to win/had it won, Jarrett hit him with the guitar and let Sid retain. This led to Kevin Nash revoking Jarrett's temporary power and booking Sid vs Jarrett in a non title match. If Jarrett won, he'd get his title shot. If Sid won, Hall would get it. The Championship Committee also made it a title match...Jarrett's US Championship! Ended in a no contest, so Nash booked a triple threat for the title. Hall vs Sid vs Jarrett.
Ric Flair returned after a 3 month absence and immediately reignited his feud with Terry Funk. The basis this time is over a line in Mick Foley's book saying that Terry Funk was better than Ric Flair. David was booked in an I Quit match against Funk where Funk brutalized him, but Ric didnt' show up to help his son. This made Arn Anderson, who was stuck in the middle between both men, absolve himself from both of his friends. The entire WCW locker room and television staff were disgusted with Ric for letting his son take a beating while he fucked yaks.
Hulk Hogan returned after 3 months, taking offense to Lex Luger saying he had a better body. Lex also broke Jimmy Hart's arm to send a message to Hulk. Hulk used a decoy Sting so he could Pearl Harbor Lex. Lex put Sting out of action at Starrcade and has been on the receiving end of mysterious Sting mind games.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene with an update on Commissioner Nash. In addition to his leg injury, Jarrett hit him with a guitar on Thunder. The nWo (which is JJ and the Harris Brothers) walk out of Nash's office. Jarrett claims to have laid Nash out and is again acting commissioner. He lifts the ban on the Harris Brothers, who will now be at ringside during the match.
Show run down. Jarrett vs Hall vs Nash WCW Championship. Hulk Hogan vs The Total Package Featured Attraction Match. Terry Funk vs Ric Flair DEATH MATCH. Lash LeRoux vs TAFKAPI WCW Cruiserweight Title Tournament Final. Bam Bam Bigelow vs Brian Knobs WCW Hardcore Championship. David/Crowbar vs The Mamalukes Sicilian Stretcher Match. Big T vs Booker for Ownership of the Harlem Heat Franchise. Kidman vs Vampiro. The Demon vs The Wall Special Main Event Match. 3 Count vs Norman Smiley Handicap Match. JAMES BROWN will make an appearance.
Recap of the events leading to and results of the Cruiser tournament.
Lash LeRoux vs TAFKAPI for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Lash smacked Paisley's ass. I'm sure Booker didn't appreciate that. Prince is better in this than I've seen him, which means he's decidedly average. I lol at a sign on the hard cam that says "I want my release". Prince grabs Lil' Naitch's dick to prevent a sunset flip and then put that hand in Lash's face. Didn't matter. Then they hilariously blew an Irish whip spot, and had a string of miscommunications including Prince bumping for Lash's splits spot despite there not even being a strike performed. Paisley has been on the apron pretty much the whole time and the ref hasn't said anything to her. It paid off when she held on to Prince when Lash tried a super rana. This led to the diving DDT and TAFKAPI wins the WCW Cruiserweight Championship. I wish Oklahoma was still the champ.
TO THE BACK. Norman Smiley is having his injured ribs taped up. Mean Gene gets a word with Brian Knobs. Fuck Brian Knobs. I can't believe WCW ran him as a singles star. The fuck. NASTY KNOBS! A room with a Private Keep Out sign on it has been the talk of the company all day. No one knows who requested it or who is behind it.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs Brian Knobs WCW Hardcore Championship
Knobs' version of My Sharona sounds less like the Jimmy Hart Version and more like a Kids Bop karoke exclusively for moms who want to rock version. It's 30 seconds of the least rocking guitar I've ever heard looped over and over. It's amazing. They quickly brawl into the stands and back stage. Finlay is there to beat up Bam Bam, but Knobs wants to do it on his own. After completely no selling getting body slammed through a table on concrete. Back to the ringside area now. "Good thing Bam Bam had those tattoos to protect his head." "Who puts the tables under there I wonder?" Knobs went for a bulldog through a table set up in the corner, but it was reversed and he went through it alone. Greetings from Asbury Park. That move always looked like it would really hurt Bammer's leg and/or balls. He then went for a top rope headbutt/chair shot, but Finlay distracts him and Knobs is the new WCW Hardcore Champion. Fuck, that belt is such a knock off of the ECW Championship. Paul should have sued.
TO THE BACK. Ric Flair and Lex are talking each other up. Ric is hitting on both Lex and Liz. Security are watching over Sid and Hall's rooms. No one is allowed in or out of either locker room.
3 Count vs Norman Smiley
"Their fan club meets in a phone booth" gets a BIG POP from Tony. They aren't going to sing, they are just going to kick ass tonight. CRAZY back body drop over the top to Shannon. He went past the mats and barely landed on the other two guys. Shane and Shannon were crazy taking the most ridiculous bumps trying to get noticed. One week on Nitro, Shannon took a punch while on the apron by doing a flipping swanton to the floor. Shane misses a pretty intense Whisper in the Wind type move that he barely made the full rotation on, but had tons of hang time. Then a GIANT SWING! And BIG WIGGLE! 3 Count wins after Evan's twisty splash, Shane's frog splash, and Shannon locking on the Lion Tamer with his foot hooked behind Norman's head. But still, Norman tapped out to Shannon Moore. Norman will not accept assistance from the refs.
TO THE BACK. WHO IS BEHIND DOOR?!?! Jeff sends the Harris Bros to find out.
The Demon vs The Wall.
This is a special main event match. On the 3rd match of the card. Against the Wall. Tony tells them to shut up so he can rock out. "You know, Mike, as the host of the Wednesday show, Tenay is the god of thunder." Lols were had. Tony is SUCH a Kiss nerd. It's kind of endearing. The Wall's music starts but he doesn't come out, so Demon goes back to look for him. Wall ambushes him. Gorilla press to the Demon. Oh no, blood on his white shirt. This is a pretty decent big man clubbering match until Demon almost breaks Wall's neck by lawn darting him on the power slam from the top Flair spot. Fuck. He baaarely got over enough to not land straight on his head. Wall then gets up and super chokeslams him anyway, but has the glassy eyes going.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene wants to know where James Brown is. The Cat says Gene's breath smells like old neck bone. Beethoven stole his stuff from Little Richard and Little Richard stole his stuff from James Brown. The Harris Brothers give up trying to open the private room by jiggling the handle and kind of knocking. They are two guys over 6 feet tall and they couldn't even try to knock the door down? Tank and Big Al are pacing in the arena.
Tank Abbott vs Big Al in a Skins Match
Which is leather jacket on a pole match. Mark Madden immediately breaks down how stupid this is when he asks why Big Al is wrestling for WCW if the whole reason he's giving Tank shit is because he's wrestling for WCW. They wrap each other's hands with a belt so they can brawl. "Long time bros, if you will." Tank loudly says "fuck, fuck you, fucker, and shit" multiple times. Tank goes down to a forearm shot. He might be out. Big Al starts to drag him to the post so he can crotch him, but decides it is too good for Tank. I thought he was going to tie his legs around the post with his belt. Or duct tape. But instead he takes forever and stands on Tank's face. Just balancing on his face with both feet, which wakes Tank up and pisses him off. Kind of like Randy Savage's reviving elbow drop. This is terrible. Until Tank hits a judo throw and calls Al a fuck face. Tank puts Al on his shoulder and tries to climb the top rope to get the jacket but drops him to the floor, Al hitting the steps along the way. Then jumps down to the floor to punch Al in the chest for some reason. Seemed unnecessary. Kind of like that MMA fight where the dude was clearly out and the other guy gave him a love tap/poke on the chest to see if he was dead. He gets the jacket and wins the match. Then he pulls a knife from the jacket, puts it to Al's throat, and says he could fucking kill him right now. WIDE SHOT WIDE SHOT WIDE SHOT. Tony covers it by saying that it was a pair of scissors and Tank was going to cut his beard. Well, Al didn't have a beard and it'd be awfully strange for Tank to cut his beard on top of Big Al. "Maybe it was salad tongs."
TO THE BACK. The REAL Harlem Heat shit talk Booker. Booker says HELL NAW. WUT DA HAYLE? He's just calling himself B now.
Booker vs Big T.
Booker still has the Leave it to Beaver music. Why are Ahmed and Clarence Mason buddy buddy now? Didn't Ahmed try to kill him? Man, Ahmed is so fat. It's great. If only he were wearing his Daisy Dukes. Booker hit an Angle Slam and vertical suplex. Impressive. Pretty sure those were the first bumps Ahmed had taken in his 2 month run besides when he would fall over trying to Pearl River Plunge people. Big T's gear looks so low rent. Kind of like Kane's attire when he came back with the mask at the beginning of the year. Except velvety. (Let me) Ax (you a question) kick. Harlem side kick. Book End. Missile dropkick. 1-2....LIGHTS GO OUT?!? For a long time. Now another giant black dude is on the apron. PRP. Big T wins the rights to Harlem Heat Inc. I think that is Swoll. From No Limit Soldier to Booker T's childhood friend.
TO THE BACK. Maestro and Ryan Shamrock. If The Cat actually produces James Brown, he'll listen to any music The Cat wants. But if he doesn't, Cat must listen to Beethoven and be Stro's servant. The Harris Bros got a security guard to unlock the private door, which he can't, so they beat him up. Why they can't just kick the door in is beyond me. Highlight package of Kidman and Vamp's kind of feud of respect.
Kidman vs Vampiro.
This would have to be the match of the night. Madden implies that Vamp is a necrophiliac. Top rope gut wrench from Vamp. By the way, Tony gets really pissed when you call him Vamp and not Vampiro. Can't powerbomb Kidman. They have some miscommunication and some awkwardness. Torrie gets knocked off the apron. Looking hot as fuck, as usual. This pisses Kidman off. He goes out to help her and Vamp attacks. He has a chair, but Torrie prevents him from using it. "FUCK HER UP" says fan in the front row. Kidman hits a dropkick Vandaminator. Tony and Tenay really don't like Mark Madden and don't try to hide it. They shit all over everything he says or don't react at all. "Another one of those prepared ad-libs" in reaction to "If Torrie helps Kidman win, does that make her Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?" There was a missile drop kick to the back of the head that was more or less a Psycho Crusher. Kidman only gets a 2 count on a super rana. POWERBOMB. DOUBLE POWERBOMB. Vampiro doesn't give a fuck about wrestling conventions. He'll powerbomb Kidman twice in a row. Vamp tried a superplex, but Kidman countered with a spinning layout reverse DDT from the top for the win. Pretty good, but probably the weakest of their 3 matches.
TO THE BACK. Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes are with Mean Gene. Funk promises to kick Flair's ass. Dustin always looks like he's on the verge of tears. Sid busts out of his room and security tries to stop him, but he puts them in their place. David/Daffney/Crowbar are wheeling around on a stretcher in the back. The Mamalukes (PAISANS!) are going to fuck those nutty fucks up. JTB is going to break thumbs because they wouldn't let him eat his cheese sandwich. What? Vito uses Sicilian and Italian interchangeably, which proves to me he isn't Sicilian.
David/Crowbar vs The Mamalukes Sicilian Strecher Match for the WCW Tag Team Championship
These guys have been in a match on every show all year I think. Disco is on commentary. "The Mamalukes think it's a shoot, don't they?". Crowbar does a Vader Bomb off the guard rail. JTB looks like a really in shape 2002 Tommy Dreamer. Daffney hits a rana on JTB and pepper sprays Disco. This is a messy brawl. But it's the same one they've had for 2 months straight. Falling powerbomb through a leaning table from Vito to Crowbar. I think Crowbar has his abs painted. David is taped to the stretcher with athletic tape. Crowbar tries to pin the table. David is now eliminated. Bell randomly rings a minute later. No one reacts. Vito with a splash from the top through a table on Crowbar. ECW chants. In the Cow Palace. They tape Crowbar to the stretcher. Then they grab Daffney and strap her to a wheel chair. She's screaming like she's getting raped and Tony says she's probably enjoying it. It's more than a little uncomfortable. She's taped and gagged by 3 men and Tony says she enjoys it? Then Mark asks "Was it just me or did they tape Daffney's breasts down for some reason?" What the fuck. And you are telling me this wasn't Russo's work?
TO THE BACK. JJ and the Harris Bros have a plan. Security brings Mean Gene to Sid's locker room. Sid is going to powerbomb everyone to hell.
The Cat brings out his special guest James Brown. He's here! Well, this was weird. Cat was out heeling on the crowd and all of the sudden his music cuts him off. And then it stops. And then it starts again and he says James Brown is here, baby. But it isn't the real James Brown. Maestro comes out. This is so bad. Both of these guys are heels. Maestro because he likes classical music. Cat because he's black. This goes on for a bit until a bunch of dancing people come out. James Brown's new song plays and out comes JAMES BROWN. With an entourage of white women and black men. "Time for James Brown to get funky like a....ehh, I better not say that. It got me in trouble once." Naturally, James Brown gets a bigger reaction of anyone so far. By a large margin. I don't know why Cat came out and heeled on everyone for this. James seems out of it though, but dances like a mother fucker anyway. This is bad, but it is certainly better than Kid Rock. James Brown gives Cat his robe. I wonder how much WCW paid James Brown for this and to promote his new album. I'm sure they didn't get paid to promote it.
TO THE BACK. Mean Gene asks Scott Hall about his match tonight. Scott Hall looks pissed and mentions being in time out because he can't play well with others or get along with the bookers. This was his last night in WCW. Recap of the Flair/Funk feud. Ric Flair talks about how he doesn't like the hardcore stuff *Cut to Flair rolling on thumbtacks and bleeding every night on tour in his 60s* The rules are there will be a 10 count after any pin or submission. It could be 1 or 101 falls.
Ric Flair vs Terry Funk Death Match.
Suplex on the floor. Another one. AHHH SHIT! First fall goes to Funk. Flair is now working over Funk's leg with a chair. Funk taps out. Piledriver on the floor! Piledriver on the the concrete! I love Flair's selling of big moves of OOOHH OWW OHH SHIT OWWW. Funk's chest is bleeding from chops. Funk has a table and is planning to break Flair's neck again. Holy shit. STIFF piledriver through the table. 1000% better than the one in 1989. Funk went to get another table and finally pinned Flair about 2 minutes later, which was a kickout. He puts Ric on the table and goes for a moonsault, but Flair got up and knocked Funk's legs, sending Funker crashing into the table. Flair pins Funk and barely makes it to his feet before the 10 count. He Flair Flopped on 10. Ric Flair is your winner. Eh. This wasn't that good, but not really bad or anything. Mostly because Funk was just too broken down. This wasn't a patch on their 1989 match or even Flair vs Vince.
TO THE BACK. WHO IS BEHIND THE DOOR?! Mean Gene gets a word with Jimmy Hart and Hulk Hogan. Hogan's mustache got so much better around 1999ish. How to you keep a mustache like that trimmed? Seems like a lot of work to keep a handle bar of that size so even and awesome. Michael Buffer is of course in to announce Hulk Hogan. This is now the co-featured main event. But The Demon vs The Wall was the Special Main Event. Buffer isn't even doing ARE YOU READY or Let's Get Ready to Rumble anymore. He's only been around twice I think this year and the first time he said Are We (having fun yet?!) Ready and this time he said "Let's bring em' on."
Hulk Hogan vs The Total Package.
Hulk had his wrist broken by Lex on Nitro. Hulk was still being billed as 6'7, which is nonsense. Hogan is more over than James Brown. LOL Hulk still put his hand on Lex's head to punch even though it had a cast on it. Madden thought it was Hogan using the cast as a weapon, but somehow Hulk just forgot he was wearing a cast and did his normal punches. Hogan's hair is weird. About as weird as it looks now in TNA. I don't give a shit about this match, but both Hulk and Jimmy Hart hit Lex in the face with their casts leading to the leg drop for the win. And then Hulk whips Lex with his weight belt until Flair makes the save for Lex. I guess his neck wasn't broken. IT'S STING! HE HAS RETURNED! A full month after they said he'd be back. Sting and Hogan are the same height and Sting certainly is 6'7.
TO THE BACK. Scott Hall tells the security guards to try the mini bar before he, Sid, and Jarrett head to the arena. Oh no, the door is open. It wasn't Sting, either.
Sid vs Scott Hall vs Jeff Jarrett for the WCW Wolrd Heavyweight Championship.
Buffer says Jeff is a 5 time world champion right after Tony says Hall and Jarrett have never won a world title. Hall is in Outsiders gear and he and Jarrett get into it before Sid can make it out. Hall looks weirdly motivated and clear minded. Tony calls Jeff and Hall "those two kids" during a punch battle. Ref bump. Double chokeslam. Nick Patrick slides in, but both guys kick out. Sid gets brained with the title by Jarrett. Super close two count. Crowd is dead for this except when they thought Hall would win. Nick Patrick gets stroked. Harris Bro holds a chair up, but Jarrett gets thrown into it. Hall pins him and Charles Robinson slides (but didn't sprint), but Jarrett kicks out at a close two. Mickey Jay comes out and gets taken out right away. This leaves only Slick Johnson left. OUTSIDER EDGE! Slick Johnson has a shoulder injury right before a 3 count. Sid is on the floor with the Harris Bros and JJ hits Hall with the guitar. Slick Johnson's shoulder is better, but before he can count to 3, Roddy Piper comes out and stops the count. Then pokes Jeff in the eye. Sid chokeslams Jeff and powerbombs Hall to retain his title. I'm actually amazed WCW had Hall be the one to eat the fall on his final night with the company. Hall looks like he might have hurt something the PPV. This was just a longer version of what you'd expect out of this match on Nitro or Thunder. Wiki says it was about 18 minutes, but that's if you include the ring intros and Sid celebrating. I guess we can assume that Piper was WHO IS BEHIND DOOR!? I'm kind of surprised that Vince didn't bring Hall back in 2000. He must have really been in bad shape with the booze. I think it would have been a pretty big deal for Razor to return one night.
So, Jeff Hardy released an album.....of music.
Who dares to listen?
1. Modest 2012 remix http://youtu.be/hcrPKNulsPQ
2. Another Me http://youtu.be/IdR9SPbsZdQ
3. Ressurected http://youtu.be/AICYNlBCTgM
4. Similar Creatures (Original Mix) http://youtu.be/0JHgZT8Gciw
5. Soul Tied in a Knot http://youtu.be/-2quYBtLsGc
6. Humanomoly http://youtu.be/wAC8yEdoEUk
7. Enshrine http://youtu.be/u6eOIa5S0RU
8. Reptilian http://youtu.be/sLHIZsayQeU
9. Similar Creatures http://youtu.be/cXYZxLaQMwM
Who dares to listen?
1. Modest 2012 remix http://youtu.be/hcrPKNulsPQ
2. Another Me http://youtu.be/IdR9SPbsZdQ
3. Ressurected http://youtu.be/AICYNlBCTgM
4. Similar Creatures (Original Mix) http://youtu.be/0JHgZT8Gciw
5. Soul Tied in a Knot http://youtu.be/-2quYBtLsGc
6. Humanomoly http://youtu.be/wAC8yEdoEUk
7. Enshrine http://youtu.be/u6eOIa5S0RU
8. Reptilian http://youtu.be/sLHIZsayQeU
9. Similar Creatures http://youtu.be/cXYZxLaQMwM
hot damn me want
Reneledarker
Banned
So, Jeff Hardy released an album.....of music.
Who dares to listen?
Another Me is the only good Jeff Hardy song, and only because of the remix.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA9wNoDvKLY
Mr. Enigma
Member
Hall was injured after that match. He laid motionless in the ring for 20 minutes after the match. I remember they were freaking out about it on the WCW Live Internet post-show. Hall injured his neck and never came back. He was released in October 2000 along with Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, and other people when they started cutting money.
Yes I do.
My sister's husband is named jesse, biggest douchebag I know of.
Mostly every guy I knew named that was terrible.
Professor Beef
Banned
I was never a fan of Stamos
I don't know how you managed to defeat nocturnowl.
Did you head right back to hot topic afterward for more sting makeup?
HarryDemeanor
Member
CrunchinJelly
formerly cjelly
Sandow really has got the whole package.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Cut it out.
John Cena is on Jimmy Fallon right now. He's no-selling questions left and right.
Now he's cutting a small penis promo on Ziggler.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Crickets. Crickets everywhere.
PPV's in New York btw.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Fireworks. People high-fiving each other. Hugging in the streets.
HarryDemeanor
Member
Only if it was in Los Angeles.
That makes sense. He pounded the mat a few times right after the pin and just laid there kind of crumpled up. I thought maybe he was trying to cut his beard or something. I for some reason thought he was released shortly after this and his little run in ECW wasn't very long after this match.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GXoBSHpX2M
Didn't see it before, but it's Bret Hart and Lanny Poffo's shoots on many guys in wrestling, notably Bret talks who he wanted to work with/more with. Vince screwed the pooch.
Didn't see it before, but it's Bret Hart and Lanny Poffo's shoots on many guys in wrestling, notably Bret talks who he wanted to work with/more with. Vince screwed the pooch.
holy shit Hall actually went to ECW?
Yea. For two house show matches. One against Big Sal and one against Justin Credible. They were non-televised, but ECW fan cams had them out. He did the job for JC and then went to NJPW where he lost a match to Mutoh and a rookie Tanahashi.
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