Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
Oh wow, what a plot-twist. So I went in to the employment office to fill out a thing saying I saw my own doctor. I ended up not even mentioning the depression thing.. there wasn't even an appropriate opening for it anyway. But I look in the back office and who do I see? Babe of all-time babes Marilu whom I've had an OMEGA crush on for like a year now. We're pretty good buds at work but she wasn't around this week. So I literally drop the clipboard I'm filling back and race to her little office and start demanding things. I was like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT TIME DO YOU GET OFF? WE HAVE TO HANG OUT" needless to say my excitement was palpable. I could not believe my eyes, shes usually wearing just a tshirt and jeans and maybe a train conductor hat, but she was all dressed up business casual style. I ended up scribbling my number on a business card from whomever the office actually belonged to.
I guess she had hurt her hand and is on a two week leave or something doing menial office work, instead of in the lab/warehouse where we usually work. Oh man, what a sight for soar eyes. I went from breaking down in the parking lot of my Doctor's office with a script for some scary new drug to teeming with excitement. What a rollercoaster, holy shit. I need to eat. I've only had a smoothie today.
I guess she had hurt her hand and is on a two week leave or something doing menial office work, instead of in the lab/warehouse where we usually work. Oh man, what a sight for soar eyes. I went from breaking down in the parking lot of my Doctor's office with a script for some scary new drug to teeming with excitement. What a rollercoaster, holy shit. I need to eat. I've only had a smoothie today.
forknknife
Banned
Hehe nice!
And regarding your previous post, I really would keep your depression problems to yourself and away from your boss. If you tell him the truth and it's too much for him to handle you are fucked. If you tell him but not going into much detail then it will trigger his imagination anyway, he will think you may have all kinds of shit in your head and you will be also fucked. I would say, don't say anything and make up any excuse for those days that you are not going to work, the back pain story could work.
But, most importantly, fight your depression, of course!
VanillaCakeIsBurning
Member
To clarify, I mean that the depressed part of yourself knows everything about you that others can't see, including your flaws. It's like an engine that churns constantly, constantly pumping out negativity never letting you forget all the bad/wrong things about yourself and your future.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It also exaggerates to all hell. The flaws aren't as severe as your depression makes you think. There's no hidden truth or something that it knows that others don't.
Bagels, what is your avatar from. I know I know the show but I can't think of it and it's bothering me.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Yup, that's it. Thanks!
Thanks, UrbanRats! Yeah, it's Ben Katz from "Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist." You can find a bunch of episodes on youtube.
Does anyone else on SSRI meds have a symptom of decreased attention/ability to concentrate? I forgot to ask my doctor. If it makes a difference, I don't have depression or anxiety, so maybe the side effects are different than usual?
VanillaCakeIsBurning
Member
Yes, that's why I put it in quotations. Even realizing that however does not diminish its persuasive effects.
It's all too easy to simple give in and let it invade all your thoughts.
Collete
Member
It's ok I suppose. I was experiencing a rough day (not birthday) that day and was easily distressed. Sorry to cause you any trouble.
Happy Birthday you two!
Happy Birthday Oomikami and Fiction!
Guys, I dunno what to say.
When I first got up this morning, figured it wouldn't be any special day and it'll just blow hard.
Then received the PM that you guys actually thought about me to send me well wishes and presents...
Honestly I was about to kick Bagel's ass cause I never asked for such thing ~~
But it was my birthday and I couldn't say no to any of you for being so nice to me. It really brightened my whole day (even though there were many things that went wrong) that I can say this was by far the best birthday I ever had. I had friends in the past who did this similar thing but all left but never really gave that much words of passion as you all did.
So....Thank you all guys...It really brought tears to my eyes...
It's next Tuesday right? I'll make sure to have something for ya
Good work!
The services on campus should help you a bit. It helped me pull through in my first few years, I hope it can help as well.
Yeah, Happy Birthday Fiction! We're growing old together
I figure prevention is better than treatment, so I'll see if talking to someone before I completely fall back into a hole will help prevent that. Definitely easier than trying to get back out I think.
Yes, SSRIs fog me up quite a bit. It's normal, but it may improve as time goes on. How long have you been on an SSRI, and what dose / medication (only if you'd like to share!)? Different meds may be better / worse in that regard. Zoloft and Cymbalta, for instance, fogged me out much worse than LexaPro.
Guys, I dunno what to say.
When I first got up this morning, figured it wouldn't be any special day and it'll just blow hard.
Then received the PM that you guys actually thought about me to send me well wishes and presents...
Honestly I was about to kick Bagel's ass cause I never asked for such thing ~~
But it was my birthday and I couldn't say no to any of you for being so nice to me. It really brightened my whole day (even though there were many things that went wrong) that I can say this was by far the best birthday I ever had. I had friends in the past who did this similar thing but all left but never really gave that much words of passion as you all did.
So....Thank you all guys...It really brought tears to my eyes...
It's next Tuesday right? I'll make sure to have something for ya
Good work!
The services on campus should help you a bit. It helped me pull through in my first few years, I hope it can help as well.
Yeah, Happy Birthday Fiction! We're growing old together
<33333
Happy Birthdays all!
20mg of Paroxetine a day, and it's been about 8 months or so. I take it for OCD.(The first time I read your comment I thought you wanted me to share my medicine with you
and if that is what you mean, no sorry
I definitely noticed lower concentration and worse memory retention, which sucks since I'm still in school. I'm debating stopping the meds until I'm done in June, but that may be a bad idea.
And I know how silly it is to be worries about less concentration when I'm taking it for OCD but it's still annoying.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
yay!
They can, yeah. I've been on many different SSRIs over the years and I'd say the one that fucked me up the most (as far as side effects went) was Zoloft.
I'm not on anything right now but I've been through so much in the last year that I'm seriously contemplating going back on Prozac. I've always been very prone to depression and my emotions are completely out of control.
Happy Birthday to Oomikami and Fiction! Sorry I'm late I decided to take a break from GAF for a bit due to personal reasons.
Bagels congrats on being an Uncle! It is awesome. Just spent some time with my niece and nephew and that always puts a smile on my face.
I was reading some of the posts and some people were recommending making a list of things to do. I think that is a great idea. It can really keep you motivated. If you feel overwhelmed by work or school or whatever I think it could really help to make a list and prioritize the things you need to accomplish.
Bagels congrats on being an Uncle! It is awesome. Just spent some time with my niece and nephew and that always puts a smile on my face.
I was reading some of the posts and some people were recommending making a list of things to do. I think that is a great idea. It can really keep you motivated. If you feel overwhelmed by work or school or whatever I think it could really help to make a list and prioritize the things you need to accomplish.
I'm currently in a decent mood. I rare occassion these days. The worst are the nights when I'm alone; when I don't have anyone to chat with because everyone's went to bed already or anything to watch to keep you distracted.
And I immediately and inevitably begin to ruminate. And I always ruminate on the most painful things. I dream about how I wish they'd have gone but I know things will never turn out that way. I think about how I'll never be happy.
The past two days in a row have been like this. I lay down to get some sleep, without distractions I start thinking and can't stop and I end up crying in bed. I'm hoping this won't happen a third time when I lay down soon.
I don't know why I felt like sharing this.
And I immediately and inevitably begin to ruminate. And I always ruminate on the most painful things. I dream about how I wish they'd have gone but I know things will never turn out that way. I think about how I'll never be happy.
The past two days in a row have been like this. I lay down to get some sleep, without distractions I start thinking and can't stop and I end up crying in bed. I'm hoping this won't happen a third time when I lay down soon.
I don't know why I felt like sharing this.
Collete
Member
Shitty morning so far.
My father came back from India recently so me and my mom have been taking care of things in USA.
He flat out called me a thief this morning despite taking care of the whole damn house despite having dangerously violent depression. I confronted my mother about this and she just said "deal with it"....
Blech.
Moments like these it's just hard to think about any future.
On another note guys, once I decide what to get for myself through out all the presents you guys gave, I'll post some pictures of it later in this thread.
Once again, thanks again for wishing me well and supporting me. I really need it.
I still think i did nothing to deserve these things however, so it kind of makes me feel bad.
Heidern: don't slash your wrist...even if you've done it for me. Just makes me feel bad...
I admit I laughed last night when I saw that gif, lol
I don't know if prevention is better than treatment, however I do know it will help keep you afloat. It may not cure you, but it'll give you a temporary life vest before you get to a real psychologist.
My father came back from India recently so me and my mom have been taking care of things in USA.
He flat out called me a thief this morning despite taking care of the whole damn house despite having dangerously violent depression. I confronted my mother about this and she just said "deal with it"....
Blech.
Moments like these it's just hard to think about any future.
Oh, happy birthday Fiction. I didn't know what to get you, so I got myself some chocolate and ate it and it tasted good. Hopefully that makes you a bit happier.
And happy birthday Oomikami. I didn't know what to get you either, so I slashed my wrist. The next time you get the urge to hurt yourself, you can give it a miss, I've taken that turn for you
On another note guys, once I decide what to get for myself through out all the presents you guys gave, I'll post some pictures of it later in this thread.
Once again, thanks again for wishing me well and supporting me. I really need it.
I still think i did nothing to deserve these things however, so it kind of makes me feel bad.
Heidern: don't slash your wrist...even if you've done it for me. Just makes me feel bad...
I figure prevention is better than treatment, so I'll see if talking to someone before I completely fall back into a hole will help prevent that. Definitely easier than trying to get back out I think.
I admit I laughed last night when I saw that gif, lol
I don't know if prevention is better than treatment, however I do know it will help keep you afloat. It may not cure you, but it'll give you a temporary life vest before you get to a real psychologist.
Don't worry, I've never slashed my wrist before so I didn't do a very good job. First I got a coin to slash my wrist, but that didn't work. Then I saw my keys, they looked more promising, but that didn't work either. Then I grabbed a receipt and got visions of school and getting a papercut. I was thinking maybe 3rd time lucky but that didn't work either(I think the paper used was too cheap). Then I gave up and had some more chocolate instead to make Fiction happier. Does the fact I didn't slash my wrist make you feel happier?
Sqrt_minus_one
Member
I am a terrible person, I made a mental not to wish Oomi a happy birthday as I was at work when I saw the post and didn't want to spend too long on GAF but forgot when I got home.
So, happy belated birthday Oomi.
So, happy belated birthday Oomi.
Hi GAF. So my doctor had me take zoloft. Started at 50 went to 100, 150 and eventually 200 now. Felt great about a month into it for about 2-3 weeks (on 150). Then I started feeling like I was going backwards. Depression kicked back in...although anxiety is down somewhat. Raised dose to 200 and now i just feel depressed, not wanting to go out with friends and just a general feeling of disconnect with the world...its wierd and I don't like it. I really thought zoloft came and saved the day. Really discouraging.
Is it normal for medication to kick out so quick? Is there hope in switching medications? Ugh..
Is it normal for medication to kick out so quick? Is there hope in switching medications? Ugh..
Price Dalton
Member
Anyone with depression ever look into thyroid function? There's growing evidence that T3 supplementation can help in that regard:
http://evolutionarypsychiatry.blogspot.com/2012/02/treatment-of-depression-with-t3.html?m=1
It might be worth checking out, especially if you're not that responsive to other methods/medications.
http://evolutionarypsychiatry.blogspot.com/2012/02/treatment-of-depression-with-t3.html?m=1
It might be worth checking out, especially if you're not that responsive to other methods/medications.
I've heard more and more about this. This is the next step my shrink and I discussed. I'm doing well now, so we haven't tried it.
I urge people on here who have not seen any kind of doctor that thyroid dysfunction is a classic, super treatable cause of depression. It's much more common in women, but it's pretty standard to test for thyroid function as part of a depression workup. Classically, the hypothyroid patient is depressed, lethargic, gaining weight, and can't stand the cold. The hyperthyroid patient is anxious, skinny, cannot stand the heat, and is not sleeping. But you're right, there's also sub-clinical thyroid dysfunction. Being just a bit low can tip some people into depression. The reference ranges for any lab value are based on population studies. "Most people" need a TSH, T3, T4 of WHATEVER, but your body may have a different balance with your thyroid.
For gaming depression-GAF, I've wanted to jump into Planetside 2 for a while now. I'm just about to do that. I'm DrKatz on steam - add me! We can be the PHQ27 Division (a 27 is the max score on the nine-item personal health questionnaire for depression
). It's free to play, I gather, so we can just try it out.eddfromtheriver
Banned
I guess it's sort of linked to depression, but i really loathe social interaction mainly because... people are really nosey, they ask about school, love life, work, and i don't like people asking about my personal life, that's the main reason why i skipped a family event today, anyone else here has a similar problem?.
Ingueferroque
Banned
It's ok I suppose. I was experiencing a rough day (not birthday) that day and was easily distressed. Sorry to cause you any trouble.
Guys, I dunno what to say.
When I first got up this morning, figured it wouldn't be any special day and it'll just blow hard.
Then received the PM that you guys actually thought about me to send me well wishes and presents...
Honestly I was about to kick Bagel's ass cause I never asked for such thing ~~
But it was my birthday and I couldn't say no to any of you for being so nice to me. It really brightened my whole day (even though there were many things that went wrong) that I can say this was by far the best birthday I ever had. I had friends in the past who did this similar thing but all left but never really gave that much words of passion as you all did.
So....Thank you all guys...It really brought tears to my eyes...
It's next Tuesday right? I'll make sure to have something for ya
Good work!
The services on campus should help you a bit. It helped me pull through in my first few years, I hope it can help as well.
Yeah, Happy Birthday Fiction! We're growing old together
Happy bday dude!
Windam and I have been playing a bit of Awesomenauts lately, it's pretty fun! It's a MOBA, but think of it as a simpler, faster version of LoL/dota... AND it's a platformer! So more like super smash bros & LoL in one game, 3v3. It's fun, if anyone wants to play as well
I don't have Planetside 2 or Awesomenauts, but I think inviting people to play online is a good idea. If anyone has and enjoys anything from my games list then feel free to add me. Currently playing some Chivalry, the low gravity game mode is hilariously fun.
Good luck Smiley!
Yeah, I feel you. I hate when people ask me this. It makes me uncomfortable. At the same time I try not to get too worked up about it it's just something people say to have something to talk about.
D
Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
Just took my first tablet of Lexapro. Drinking a cup of coffee and watching Regular Show, gonna go for a walk in a bit and then work on a sewing project.
My parents and friend (emphasis on the singular) all ask what I want to do with my life, but the only honest answer I can give is go back to being 17 and relive my youth, or rather, actually experience youth for once. There is nothing else I want. I have zero motivation for any of the options I actually have. I'm not going to lie and say "what I'd really love to do with my life, now that I'm 31 and have never been on a date or had a social life or been to a party, is work toward some boring as shit certifications and find a slightly better paying way to rot in a cubicle until I die." Falling asleep in my parents garage with the cars on sounds more appealing than that. I don't know what to do with myself, and I can't even afford therapy. Being as miserable as I am all the time just feels sick.
Collete
Member
Yes I have this problem as well when I was at school, but now that I think about, I seriously wish someone asks me about that stuff.
I'm too lonely at school because no one will even talk to me in the first place, much less be nosey...
I guess I look frightening in real life that I can't be approached or I just can't smile naturally.
Thanks, it's ok!
I didn't expect anyone to even congratulate me outside a few people, so even belated wishes are good
Thank you!
I don't know, but it is like that for me as well.
I think it's because the good times end, and the impression it leaves with us fades.
I know there's some brain chemical related explanation to this that I can't exactly give.
But you're not alone feeling this. I go to conventions bi annually, and once the event is over, I feel like crap the next day.
What happened to make you do that if i can ask?
But yes, it does make me happy you didn't succeed. I would be so pissed if you died on my birthday as well! You're one of the most helpful posters on here.
As I began to realize I have a X amount of money from the presents you guys gave me, I kept reading on one item on amazon that I could get a visa giftcard online. So for 3 days as I was thinking about it (my plan was to get X amount of dollars on a visa giftcard and buy a software not on amazon) I realized I have been misreading the word "amazon" as "visa"...So yeah...XD
Now I have unplanned money I'm not sure what to do with lol.
But I have plans for a good portion of it, I'll post pics when they come in. Again thanks guys...Now I have a new problem to worry about....What to get for my birthday haha.
Yessssss I hope you spend it on completely useless, but completely fun stuff
(or useful, fun stuff is okay too, I suppose )
Collete
Member
Yessssss I hope you spend it on completely useless, but completely fun stuff
But I really don't know what's fun or what people spend.
Since I really don't buy things for myself. Usually for others I buy stuff.
What do you guys buy for fun?...What do people buy?
I really don't know...
ClassyPenguin
Banned
A headset, so you don't have to type in chat while playing on the jank.
Well, that's highly personal, isn't it? Fun is different for everyone. For me, fun is going to a tea shop and buying a tea sampler. I can't imagine that being "fun" for many other people, but it brings me joy, and that's what matters.
What brings you joy? What was the last thing you looked at and said "I wish I had the money to buy this", that you now have the money for? What were you doing the last time you had fun?
Collete
Member
Lol, but even if I did get one, I can't really talk.
(Also my voice sounds like a high pitched school girl...)
My family is around me in a huge living room, so I can't talk even if I wanted to =\
It is, but it might give me a good idea what I would want. Since I forget easily what I really enjoy in life....And anything in general.
For instance, a friend of mine reminded me of a dream I had years ago. I forgot about it completely till he told me.
I don't really know what brings me joy...
I don't really have much in mind...(The only thing I really wanted was an art software I can't buy via Amazon to make my art not look like utter shit...)
...Maybe joy would be actually finishing my damn book and getting somewhere in my life..But that's just me ranting *sigh*
Well...
I know the last time I had fun was last night playing TF2 with GAF friends.
Which art software?
Mhmmm maybe something art-related then, let`s brainstorm... Do you draw by hand too? Maybe some new/fancy pens?
Collete
Member
Artrage 4.0.
No...I'm kind of an on-and-off type of artist for 6 months. (I drew a long time ago though but then stopped because depression took it's toll...) I started with video game sprites but then tried to move away from it. But Paint.net isn't cutting it for me anymore. And I didn't really want to pay like 50 dollars a month to use photoshop. Whenever I draw by hand, it's just horrible even with practice...My stuff looks better on the pc, in my opinion... So I don't really draw by hand or have any need any fancy pens (I've been told to draw by hand but NOTHING looks good...).
But I'm not really any good but i do want to get good...Maybe it might help something in my head...
But then again none of my shit looks good in the first place =_=
Mhmmm what about a book with drawing tipps&tricks?
Collete
Member
I don't know...
I love how when I'm trying to make progress on myself, depression strikes and crippling my whole brain...
*Sigh*
Time to shut down again.
:x Well it's not like you have to spend it right now, you can just wait until something randomly pops into your head
Collete
Member
:x Well it's not like you have to spend it right now, you can just wait until something randomly pops into your head
No this is exactly why I wanted to spend it right away.
Because if I save it, all I'm going to do is just feel "why bother? It's not like it'll be useful to you or anyone...No one will buy your damn art....Everyone wasted their money on you...You did nothing to deserve it" And then just give the money to friends or something....Just fuck...
Edit: For the record I didn't give any of the money to friends/family etc...If I do give money away, it's going to be back to the people who gave it to me...So don't fret over that....
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